More Random Musings Of A Bitter Old Man

How stupid do you have to be to send money to a guy who claims, loudly and repeatedly, to be a billionaire? No, not just a mere billionaire, but a billionaire many times over! Trumpie the Clown loves the "low information" voters because they reinforce P.T. Barnum's dictum about suckers with every breath they take.

To be fair, I've lost count of the number of emails I get from Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Michael Bloomberg, and the other real billionaires, begging me to send them a little dough. Whatever I can afford. You know, fuck your house payment, skip a few meals, cash in your 401K, loot the kids' college fund, take a second mortgage on the double wide--whatever--just give until it hurts!!!

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that our poorest, stupidest states, are some of the RED ones. You know, the ones chock full of Real Americans.

The fact that almost all of the Red states get much more from the Federal government than they contribute, making them, well, Welfare States dependent on the Blue States to survive, is simply Not To Be Mentioned in polite conversation.

And now, a brief excursion into theology: My favorite thing about Easter, besides all of the chocolate, is that the date changes every year. Now, for the sake of this argument, let's assume that there really was a Jesus, that he really was crucified, and that he really did rise from the dead. It must have happened on a specific day. The date of this day shouldn't really change by weeks and even months from year to year. Even allowing for the changes to the calendar through the centuries, this is not how things work. I guess it's just another one of those miracles, huh?

Speaking of religious flotsam and jetsam, a quick Amazon search shows a variety of bibles on sale from six dollars up to thirty bucks. Anything more than that, you're getting into the embossed, illustrated, leather clad, your name here, autographed picture of The Big Guy and His Kid included, territory. Of course, the Trump endorsed bible is, by definition, priceless. And cannot be compared to any other bible anywhere. Amen.

Donald J. Trump, a multiple bankrupt with a long string of failed businesses, and Crypto, a "currency" backed by nothing but your dreams....What could possibly go wrong?

By the way, if you put all of your money into Trump Media stock you have a hell of a lot less money than you started out with. But at least you got to "own the Libs" for awhile. Right?

To be honest, I did not have Black Nazi Trans Porn Freak on my 2024 election bingo card. But if I had, I would have bet on him being a good Christian Republican.

Gotta go now. Me and some Haitians are stir frying Fluffy and Rex. And, if you believe that, have I got a Presidential Candidate for you!

My Favorite Time Of Year

I think this may be my favorite time of year.

Baseball is getting down to the nut cracking, the weather has heated up enough to send most of the Phoenix snowbirds back to wherever they came from (less awful drivers to deal with--although there are still more than enough full time residents who don't have a fucking clue), and, (this is what makes it really special), hurricane and tornado season is in full bloom

This means that soon we will hear the desperate pleadings of all the anti-government yahoos that live in hellholes like Tornado Alley, the redder parts of Texas, and the entire state of Florida, desperately begging for FEMA to save their asses.

You know who I'm talking about. The "I don't want to pay taxes to support no goddamn safety net for welfare queens, I want the gubmint off my back, no one ever helped me, blah blah blah" crowd. The kind of folks who vote for the likes of Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, Kevin Stitt, etc etc etc.

And, since almost every Red State contributes less to the U.S. Treasury than they take out, it will be the Blue States that rescue them. 

Again.

They will gladly take the Big Government help --and the money--all while ignoring where it comes from and fervently denying Climate Change exists.

It's a beautiful thing.

Some Unanswered Questions From The NABJ Convention

Since Trumpie had to leave--abruptly and in a big hurry, with not even enough time to raise his tiny fist and shout "Fight!" (probably because his hamburger was getting cold in the Green Room), there were a number of questions that the NABJ folks never got the chance to ask him. 

As if by magic, I happen to have some of them:

"A lot of people are saying that you act like a lapdog to Putin, Xi, in fact any dictator who crosses your path. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Is there anything, anything at all, that you won't lie about?"

"In 2017, you had both houses of Congress, and yet the only thing you got done was a big tax cut for the wealthiest Americans. Can we expect more of the same if you're re-elected?"

"As a follow up, since you don't really take any interest in governing, possibly because it cuts into the time you have for grifting, and are led around by the nose by Leonard Leo and the Heritage Foundation, do you regret that they had you name the justices who overturned Roe v. Wade--despite lying in their confirmation hearings that they wouldn't--and unleashed a huge blow back from women who don't think of themselves as strictly breeding stock?"

"Presidents are judged by their decisions. Your first decision this election was to pick J.D. Vance as your running mate. How's that working out for you?"

"Do you really believe, in 2024, that there are enough racists in the U.S. to carry you to victory in November?"

"Do you think it was a good idea to come to a room full of Black people and attempt to slander a Black woman?"

"Since the Project 2025 was written by people who wholeheartedly support you, including some who served in your administration, how can you, with a straight face, say that you've never heard of it and have no idea what's in it?"

"You've been found guilty of sexual assault in a civil court. You've publicly lusted for your eldest daughter. Your name pops up all over the Jeffrey Epstein documents. And you allegedly raped at least one minor--and then threatened her into silence. Care to comment?"

"Seriously, is there anything you won't lie about?"

See? You Piss Off The Billionaires And Bad Stuff Happens To You

So...good bye to Joe and hello to Kamala.

The reality of our politics at this particular moment is that MONEY is much more important than mere competence. In fact, money is much more important than ANYTHING.

This probably wasn't what the Founders had in mind, but Citizens United has made it the one constancy in American politics.

You need a lot of dough to run for, well, anything.

And who has a lot of dough? Billionaires have a lot of dough.

Sure, those 5 and 10 dollar donations from "the little people'" are cute. Touching even. But come on!

So the question is "how do you appeal to billionaires?"

Why, you promise them that you'll cut their already relatively insignificant taxes.

It's just that easy! 

On the other hand, if you talk about raising their taxes, if you fund the IRS to look for wealthy tax cheats, if you encourage strong unions, if you hint that maybe the welfare of the rest of our citizens is more important than the welfare of the Forbes 500, then the billionaire class gets a sad. A BIG SAD.

It certainly isn't a coincidence that almost all of our major media corporations are controlled by very wealthy Trump supporters. If that isn't obvious after the constant harping on President Biden's age, and his "disastrous" debate showing, and his various verbal stumbles, coupled with their complete avoidance of Trump's descent into something that looks very much like dementia and a serious discussion of ALL of his crimes, foreign and domestic, then you really should start to pay a little attention as our democracy slowly slips away.

Throw in those Silicon Valley Libertarian Bros and their ridiculous belief that they are all self made men who benefited not at all from any government help, and you have a recipe for the mess we find ourselves in.

Here's the deal: if the billionaires get their wish, which is quite apparently another Trump administration, all the bad that will happen to the rest of us Will Not Affect Them In The Least. They don't need Social Security, they don't need Medicare/Medicaid, their wives, daughters, girlfriends, and mistresses will still have access to abortions and birth control, the water and air they use will still be clean, they secretly (sometimes not so secretly) admire dictators, so they're cool with whatever Putin does, a competent federal government only gets in their way, so the less of that the better, and perhaps most importantly, the supply of cheap, desperate labor will be greatly increased.

In November vote like your life depends on it. Because it may.

Compare And Contrast The Candidates

This isn't nearly as hard as some people insist on making it, so here goes:

Joe Biden: well, he is old. And he does stutter from time to time.

Donald J. Trump: rapist. traitor. pathological liar. traitor. tax cheat. traitor. adulterer. traitor. incompetent businessman as evidenced by all those bankruptcies and all of those failed businesses. traitor. fraud. traitor. sexual predator--including, allegedly, with very young girls. traitor. seemingly slipping into some form of dementia as evidenced by his every public utterance. traitor. lap dog to Putin. Did I mention that he's a traitor?

Biden, despite having to work around shit stains like Mitch McConnell and Mike Johnson, faux Democrats like Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, mainstream Media that doesn't care what happens to democracy as long as they have a close "horse race" to blather about, and a Supreme Court overrun with medieval Corporate Whore Catholics, has managed to get passed more positive legislation than any President since FDR. But no tax cuts for the rich, so...

And Trump? Well, to be fair, Trump did manage to squeeze 3, count 'em 3, more turds onto the Supreme Court, and a tax cut that almost entirely benefits the richest American. Oh yeah, let's not forget that his son-in-law walked away with 2 billion dollars of Saudi money.

Hmm.  That's a tough choice.

Signor Baseball's My God What Took You So Long, The Season Is More Than A Third Over 2024 MLB Preview

Well, it is easier this way. All those early season improbabilities--hot streaks and cold streaks--have played out. Things have settled down a bit and we can get down to the nutcracking.

AL East

Do the Yankees finally have enough pitching? Beats me. So far they do, but like every other team, they're a couple of strained tendons away from disaster. They certainly have enough bats. Boy, do they. Judge, Soto and Stanton are a modern Murderers Row. And they seem to be in a race to see who can hit the ball the hardest and the longest.

However, the Orioles, despite flaming out in the Playoffs last year, are still for real. So it looks like the race in the East will be neck and neck til October, with the runner up a lock for one of the Wild Card slots.

For the rest of the division, Toronto, Tampa, and Boston, mired around .500 as I write this, there is a chance to pick up one of the other Wild Cards, if only because they're all capable of winning more than they lose the rest of the way, and that puts them ahead of most of the rest of the AL. Also, they're all still good enough to screw up New York and/or Baltimore's season. 

AL Central

The White Sox are loathsome. Perhaps even historically bad. But besides the stench coming out of Chicago, this is a very competitive division--at least for now. Cleveland should win, but Kansas City and Minnesota are right there, and even Detroit could cause some problems.  Right around .500 might conceivably get a Wild Card slot. And we saw what can happen last year, if you can sneak into the playoffs. So, hope springs eternal for a bunch of fundamentally mediocre teams. Get hot at the right time and anything is possible.

AL West

The Athletics and Angels are bad teams--not White Sox bad--but plain ol' bad. This is what happens when you have garbage ownership (in both cases) and you lose your two best players to free agency and seemingly perpetual injury (in the Angels' case). It's hard for me to trust Seattle, based on them trading their closer last year while they were still in a pennant race. That's just odd. The Rangers don't look like defending champions--but there is a lot of time left for them to figure it out. And it's beginning to look like Houston's window has closed, at least for the time being. Again, it's possible for any team around .500 to have a shot at a Wild Card, which will make August and September very interesting.

NL East 

Right now, the Phillies have no apparent weaknesses. Injuries--and there are almost always injuries--could change that in a hurry. However, barring something truly catastrophic, they should win the East, with Atlanta right behind them and in line for a Wild Card. Washington and Miami are simply not good enough at this point. It's hard to believe that the Nationals were champions not that long ago. It's also hard to remember a championship team that was dismantled so rapidly. And the Marlins are, well, the Marlins...The Mets are a punchline. All that hedge fund money for this?! Might be time to sell off a few "assets" for prospects and magic beans.

NL Central

One kinda good team (Milwaukee) and four teams hovering around .500. Again, if one or more of the Cards, Cubs, Reds, and even the Pirates, gets hot at the right time...they could grab a Wild Card. I'm not sure what's happened to St. Louis--they used to be the class of this division year in and year out--but I bet it has something to do with Yadier Molina retiring. Chicago has some interesting pieces and Craig Counsell has won with much less. And both Cincy and Pittsburgh have exciting young players and two very nice ballparks. The ball parks will be around for many years, but the exciting young players will probably leave when their rookie deals are up. For now, enjoy! So, if the Brewers hit a rough spot, we could have a five team race right down to the finish line. Five fairly mediocre teams, but still it would be a lot of fun for their fans.

NL West

If the Dodgers don't win this division there ought to be a Congressional investigation. They are loaded. Every Ohtani at bat is a must see event. So it's strange that they aren't running away from three essentially average teams (and, of course, the Rockies who are a perennial punching bag). It's better to be 6 games ahead than 6 games behind, but with all that talent you would expect L.A. to have a double digit lead by now. The Padres, Giants, and Diamondbacks are in the same boat as every other .500 team--and boy, are there a lot of them. Get hot at the right time, sneak into the playoffs and hope that you can stay hot. Hey, it worked for the D-Backs last year...

Life On The Farm

You know, looking back, my favorite time on the family farm was when we rounded up all the "difficult" animals, put them in a ditch, and shot them. Good times!

Puppies, goats, whatever. Bang Bang Bang! I can still hear the screams, and it makes me feel...I don't know...wistfully nostalgic.

Because animals need to know that there are rules and these rules must be obeyed.

And there are consequences when they are not obeyed.

Sure, puppies can be boisterous. They can be hard to train. On our farm--on any real farm--there's just one way to deal with an uppity pup. Fuck 'em! Bang Bang Bang!

And don't even get me started about goats. I mean, why do we even have goats? You ever tried to train a goat?

Nope. In farm life you get one chance to do things correctly, and if you don't...BANG!

Incidentally, we used to do the same with our seasonal labor--when we were done with them, of course. It's much easier that way. No paperwork to fill out. No Big Government meddling. No complaints about working conditions or being underpaid. Just BANG!

You simply can't have chaos on the family farm. What if Kim Jong Un drops by? Or some other dictator you're trying to impress? No, you need to show strength. You need to show resolve. You need to show who's the boss. 

BANG!

I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it.