Dear American Peoples

On behalf of all of us, that is Vladimir Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, Kim Jong-Un, Viktor Orban,  MBS,  Elon Musk, Leonard Leo, and the Federalist Society, we would like to personally thank you for restoring our favorite lap dog to your Presidency.

It will certainly make everything that comes after so much easier for us.

Also, on behalf of rapists, tax cheats, business frauds, pathological liars, adulterers, Christo-Fascists,tech bros, neo-Nazis, white supremacists,  misogynists, and especially traitors everywhere, thank you for enshrining our cherished role model.

What is about to happen to you and your country, you have no previous experience with.

So, buckle up!

Who's the shithole country now?

Ha Ha Ha.

The Lady...Or The Spoiled, Damaged Child

Based on who his parents were, it would be hard for Donald J. Trump to be anything but a spoiled, damaged child.

His father was a racist, sociopathic, mobbed up crook. 

His mother apparently had no interest in being a mother. Or at least no discenible mothering skills.

Throw in Roy Cohn, certainly a contender for worst Americans ever, as a mentor, and the outcome was set.

So...Donald turned out pretty much as one would expect. "The apple", as they say, "doesn't fall very far from the tree."

If he hadn't inherited all that money, cheating his siblings in the process, he would've ended up in a trailer, down by the river. The sort of person good parents would warn their children to avoid.

In a sane world, this wouldn't be anyone's problem--except his immediate family and anyone stupid enough to do business with him.

But, as you may have noticed, this is not a sane world, and there are millions of people who literally worship that pile of Orange Bile.

Rapist, tax fraud, business cheat, adulterer, bully, Putin's puppet, traitor, all wrapped in a smelly package that is rapidly sinking into dementia.

None of that seems to matter to his disciples.

Or to the vile advisors he surrounds himself with. The Project 2025 scum. The people who choose his judges for him. The Libertarian billionaires, especially little Elon Musk. All of them couldn't care less about the majority of our citizens. They care, without exception, for their bank accounts, or their ridiculous religious beliefs, or their deluded views of our history, or their enormous egos. Or maybe just for the blinding whiteness of their skin. They're all committed to using him to get what they want.

Not what's good for the people. What's good for them. The people be damned.

Fortunately, I believe that there are more good people in this country than there are MAGAts.

At least, I hope so.

It's either President Harris, or the end of the American experiment.

It's just that simple.

 

Elon Musk: Liar? Idiot? Putin Stooge? All Three?

You have, no doubt, seen the photos of Elon Musk jumping around like a chihuahua on crack at a recent Trump Lie Fest. It was especially impressive considering that from previous photos I've seen, Musk's body appears to be made entirely from marshmallows. 

What you may not know is, that like many "I did it all by myself" Libertarians before him, Musk's businesses have all relied on government money, either through loans or contracts. His fabulous fortune is due to American taxpayers propping him up, to the tune of many billions of dollars. Your tax dollars at work again.

So much for the rugged individualist, the self-made man. Myths. All myths.

He's cosplaying as an Edison level inventor. Nope. Never invented anything, except his own legend.

And a "free speech loving patriot." Nope again.

Unless your idea of free speech includes a deluge of unchallenged MAGA lies, which flood his soapbox, Twitter/X, every goddamn day. It's heaven for Russian bots, and like walking through a field of fresh dog shit for the rest of us.

As far as being just a concerned, First Amendment loving, "American patriot", in truth he is a South African immigrant, whose family's fortune, like many white South Africans, depended on apartheid. 

(And that father of his? WOW. Like Fred Trump's most infamous spawn, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.)

If Elon isn't a paid Putin stooge, he certainly acts like a paid Putin stooge.

And, since he's gone all in supporting Traitor Trump, to my mind that makes him just another traitor, too.

The sooner this little man heads to Mars, the better for humanity. Oh, and let's make sure he takes Peter Thiel with him.

More Random Musings Of A Bitter Old Man

How stupid do you have to be to send money to a guy who claims, loudly and repeatedly, to be a billionaire? No, not just a mere billionaire, but a billionaire many times over! Trumpie the Clown loves the "low information" voters because they reinforce P.T. Barnum's dictum about suckers with every breath they take.

To be fair, I've lost count of the number of emails I get from Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Michael Bloomberg, and the other real billionaires, begging me to send them a little dough. Whatever I can afford. You know, fuck your house payment, skip a few meals, cash in your 401K, loot the kids' college fund, take a second mortgage on the double wide--whatever--just give until it hurts!!!

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that our poorest, stupidest states, are some of the RED ones. You know, the ones chock full of Real Americans.

The fact that almost all of the Red states get much more from the Federal government than they contribute, making them, well, Welfare States dependent on the Blue States to survive, is simply Not To Be Mentioned in polite conversation.

And now, a brief excursion into theology: My favorite thing about Easter, besides all of the chocolate, is that the date changes every year. Now, for the sake of this argument, let's assume that there really was a Jesus, that he really was crucified, and that he really did rise from the dead. It must have happened on a specific day. The date of this day shouldn't really change by weeks and even months from year to year. Even allowing for the changes to the calendar through the centuries, this is not how things work. I guess it's just another one of those miracles, huh?

Speaking of religious flotsam and jetsam, a quick Amazon search shows a variety of bibles on sale from six dollars up to thirty bucks. Anything more than that, you're getting into the embossed, illustrated, leather clad, your name here, autographed picture of The Big Guy and His Kid included, territory. Of course, the Trump endorsed bible is, by definition, priceless. And cannot be compared to any other bible anywhere. Amen.

Donald J. Trump, a multiple bankrupt with a long string of failed businesses, and Crypto, a "currency" backed by nothing but your dreams....What could possibly go wrong?

By the way, if you put all of your money into Trump Media stock you have a hell of a lot less money than you started out with. But at least you got to "own the Libs" for awhile. Right?

To be honest, I did not have Black Nazi Trans Porn Freak on my 2024 election bingo card. But if I had, I would have bet on him being a good Christian Republican.

Gotta go now. Me and some Haitians are stir frying Fluffy and Rex. And, if you believe that, have I got a Presidential Candidate for you!

My Favorite Time Of Year

I think this may be my favorite time of year.

Baseball is getting down to the nut cracking, the weather has heated up enough to send most of the Phoenix snowbirds back to wherever they came from (less awful drivers to deal with--although there are still more than enough full time residents who don't have a fucking clue), and, (this is what makes it really special), hurricane and tornado season is in full bloom

This means that soon we will hear the desperate pleadings of all the anti-government yahoos that live in hellholes like Tornado Alley, the redder parts of Texas, and the entire state of Florida, desperately begging for FEMA to save their asses.

You know who I'm talking about. The "I don't want to pay taxes to support no goddamn safety net for welfare queens, I want the gubmint off my back, no one ever helped me, blah blah blah" crowd. The kind of folks who vote for the likes of Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, Kevin Stitt, etc etc etc.

And, since almost every Red State contributes less to the U.S. Treasury than they take out, it will be the Blue States that rescue them. 

Again.

They will gladly take the Big Government help --and the money--all while ignoring where it comes from and fervently denying Climate Change exists.

It's a beautiful thing.

Some Unanswered Questions From The NABJ Convention

Since Trumpie had to leave--abruptly and in a big hurry, with not even enough time to raise his tiny fist and shout "Fight!" (probably because his hamburger was getting cold in the Green Room), there were a number of questions that the NABJ folks never got the chance to ask him. 

As if by magic, I happen to have some of them:

"A lot of people are saying that you act like a lapdog to Putin, Xi, in fact any dictator who crosses your path. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Is there anything, anything at all, that you won't lie about?"

"In 2017, you had both houses of Congress, and yet the only thing you got done was a big tax cut for the wealthiest Americans. Can we expect more of the same if you're re-elected?"

"As a follow up, since you don't really take any interest in governing, possibly because it cuts into the time you have for grifting, and are led around by the nose by Leonard Leo and the Heritage Foundation, do you regret that they had you name the justices who overturned Roe v. Wade--despite lying in their confirmation hearings that they wouldn't--and unleashed a huge blow back from women who don't think of themselves as strictly breeding stock?"

"Presidents are judged by their decisions. Your first decision this election was to pick J.D. Vance as your running mate. How's that working out for you?"

"Do you really believe, in 2024, that there are enough racists in the U.S. to carry you to victory in November?"

"Do you think it was a good idea to come to a room full of Black people and attempt to slander a Black woman?"

"Since the Project 2025 was written by people who wholeheartedly support you, including some who served in your administration, how can you, with a straight face, say that you've never heard of it and have no idea what's in it?"

"You've been found guilty of sexual assault in a civil court. You've publicly lusted for your eldest daughter. Your name pops up all over the Jeffrey Epstein documents. And you allegedly raped at least one minor--and then threatened her into silence. Care to comment?"

"Seriously, is there anything you won't lie about?"

See? You Piss Off The Billionaires And Bad Stuff Happens To You

So...good bye to Joe and hello to Kamala.

The reality of our politics at this particular moment is that MONEY is much more important than mere competence. In fact, money is much more important than ANYTHING.

This probably wasn't what the Founders had in mind, but Citizens United has made it the one constancy in American politics.

You need a lot of dough to run for, well, anything.

And who has a lot of dough? Billionaires have a lot of dough.

Sure, those 5 and 10 dollar donations from "the little people'" are cute. Touching even. But come on!

So the question is "how do you appeal to billionaires?"

Why, you promise them that you'll cut their already relatively insignificant taxes.

It's just that easy! 

On the other hand, if you talk about raising their taxes, if you fund the IRS to look for wealthy tax cheats, if you encourage strong unions, if you hint that maybe the welfare of the rest of our citizens is more important than the welfare of the Forbes 500, then the billionaire class gets a sad. A BIG SAD.

It certainly isn't a coincidence that almost all of our major media corporations are controlled by very wealthy Trump supporters. If that isn't obvious after the constant harping on President Biden's age, and his "disastrous" debate showing, and his various verbal stumbles, coupled with their complete avoidance of Trump's descent into something that looks very much like dementia and a serious discussion of ALL of his crimes, foreign and domestic, then you really should start to pay a little attention as our democracy slowly slips away.

Throw in those Silicon Valley Libertarian Bros and their ridiculous belief that they are all self made men who benefited not at all from any government help, and you have a recipe for the mess we find ourselves in.

Here's the deal: if the billionaires get their wish, which is quite apparently another Trump administration, all the bad that will happen to the rest of us Will Not Affect Them In The Least. They don't need Social Security, they don't need Medicare/Medicaid, their wives, daughters, girlfriends, and mistresses will still have access to abortions and birth control, the water and air they use will still be clean, they secretly (sometimes not so secretly) admire dictators, so they're cool with whatever Putin does, a competent federal government only gets in their way, so the less of that the better, and perhaps most importantly, the supply of cheap, desperate labor will be greatly increased.

In November vote like your life depends on it. Because it may.