WTF Was Kry$ten $inema Doing In Davos?

Was she doing field work for a graft sub-committee?

No? 

Oh, then she must have been there to get patted on her head and her tummy rubbed by her rich owners.

I can hear them now, "Good job Kry$ten. Good girl! Here's a cookie."

No other reason in the world for her to be there, hobnobbing with the billionaires.

In addition to being a fake progressive, she is a corporate whore. A wholly owned subsidiary of whichever oligarch has the deepest pockets.

Her high five with that cunt Manchin pretty much sums it up.

I am reminded of a quote, variously attributed to Churchill, Lord Beaverbrook, and Groucho Marx:

"We've already established what you are, ma'am. Now we're just haggling over the price."

Random Thoughts On A Ridiculously Hot Day

Since "Global Warming" is just another of those Chinese hoaxes that are so popular with our fearless leader, this string of 110 degree plus days that we're living through in Phoenix must just be another socialist plot--right?

Anyway, the extreme heat makes things a little crazy, and our thoughts turn to...

If you have enough money to start your own space program, you have too much money.

Maybe this, and by "this" I mean the Trump Abomination, will stop, once and for all, that "run government like a business...we need a businessman in charge" nonsense. Maybe. 

We should never underestimate the ability of the Republican Party to repackage the same old horse shit in a shiny new box.

It's very, very, very hard to get to excited about major league baseball when it's played under these conditions. Basketball seems to have pulled off its restart with a modicum of verisimilitude, but all those tens of thousands of empty seats in the baseball stadiums, dotted with the occasional CGI fans, are just sad. Maybe they should just cut and paste the front cover of the Sgt. Pepper's album everywhere? That would be fun, at least for awhile. Plus, I'm pretty sure that they're using a juiced ball again...

Is every Republican in Congress either a twink or a female impersonator?

There is no point in trying to convince any remaining die hard Trump supporters about the error in their ways. Don't waste your time or your breath. If, after all of the damage that "man" and his Republican enablers have done to this country over the last few years, they still follow him blindly over whatever cliff he's headed toward, they are past redemption. Just like those Germans in the Spring of 1945 who were convinced that the Big Guy would turn it around any day now, they are True Believers and they will go to their graves believing the Big Lie(s).

Always remember, "Greater love hath no man" than that he would leave his brother's death bed to get in a quick 18 holes.

We will get through this madness, somehow, but what we will look like on the other side is at this point unknowable.

And Now, A Few Words About Taxes

Living in Phoenix, as I do, my daily newspaper is the, sigh, Arizona Republic, which, honestly, we subscribe to mostly for the obituaries. Morbid, I know.

I also, being somewhat masochistic, I guess, read the letters to the editor.

Mostly these are word for word rehashes of whatever garbage the writer heard most recently on Fox News. You can almost hear the spittle flying. It is sad. But it is true.

The other day, though, the Republic printed one from a fellow from Sun City, one of the myriad of bland, beige, boring, retirement camps--uh--I mean adult communities--which ring Phoenix like some breed of suffocating albino snake.

This guy was upset that the crazy socialists would tax away all the rich people. They would be forced to flee America if we tried to raise their taxes. And then where would we be without our rich people? He really meant it, too! He wasn't specific about where all those rich people would go. Couldn't be western Europe. Their taxes are higher than ours. Hmmm. Somalia? Venezuela? Russia?

Being a Sun City-ite, this guy must be of a certain age. Surely he remembers, fondly I'd guess, the 1950's. You know, that Trumpian paradise where blacks, browns, gays, women and students kept their mouths shut. Yeah. That place. The place that conservatives hunger to go back to with a passion that makes one blush. Blush, and then vomit.

Anyway, the top marginal tax rate, the rate the richest Americans theoretically pay,  in the 1950's, the Eisenhower years, was 91 or 92%. That's right.

How about the Kennedy years? Same rate.

LBJ? Took a deep plunge to 75%.

Under I Am Not A Crook it was still at 70%. Yeah, that raving socialist Richard M. Nixon was president of a country with a 70% top marginal rate!

The top marginal rate for 2019 is 37%. You could double it, and still be below LBJ's rate, let alone JFK and Eisenhower's.

If things were so much better back then...maybe we should go back to those rates, just for nostalgia's sake. Just to make some people happy again...

Welcome To The Republican's Big Tent!

Hello!

Person of color? Gosh, how did you get in here? I mean, are you sure this is where you want to be? Really?

Billionaire? Thanks for coming! That big table up front is reserved just for you!

Female? In the back, please.

Gay? "Closeted" or "out"? "Closeted" sit near the front. "Out" please get to the back, by the women.

Idiot? We certainly need as many of you as we can get!  The more the merrier, in fact! But don't sit too near the billionaires. It bothers them. They're very sensitive.

Homophobe? See those idiots over there? That's right. Sit with them.

Rapist? Hmmm. Who did you rape, male or female? Female? Over here. Male? Uh, gee. Over there I guess. With the clergy.

Criminal? White collar? Sit near the billionaires. Other crimes? Wherever there's an open seat. Remember to mingle.

Racist? Sit wherever you want! That goes for you, too, gun nuts and fundamentalists.

But please save some seats for our Russian friends. After all, they paid for most of this.

Very Rich People Don't Really Like Democracy Much

Don't get me wrong, now.

They LOVE this country.

Not enough to pay more taxes, of course.

Not enough to worry about inequality. No.

Not enough to fight for health care and a quality education for all.

Not enough to be concerned about voter suppression and gerrymandering.

Not enough to be angry when the cops gun down another unarmed black or brown person.

No, that's not the kind of "love" we're talking about.

The kind of "love" they mean is "tough" love. Where they tell the rest of us to stop complaining about these issues and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps...because this is the "best country on the face of the earth" and "God loves the USA" and "poor people are lazy" and "welfare cheats are stealing from us all" and "food stamps make people dependent and obese" and "health care isn't a right" and "corporations and wealthy people are hideously overtaxed" and all of the other nonsensical bullshit they're so fond of spewing.

That's the kind of love they understand.

The wrap yourself in the flag, wave your Bible, and bitch about the "takers" kind.

For Sale: One Country, Slightly Used

There are some people who can only see dollar signs wherever they look.

They've always been with us and they always will be.

But we haven't let them run the government in many, many years.

Now we have an Executive office, a Congress and a Cabinet filled with people who need to monetize anything they can get their hands on.

The idea of a public commons is completely anathema to them.

They need to figure some way to charge as much as they can for everything.

Public Education? Check!

Health care? Check!

National Parks? Check!

Social Security? They're working on it!

What's next? Our air and water?

Maybe.

Prepare To Go Backwards

It is a strange thing to suddenly realize that the country you thought you lived in isn't there any more.

Perhaps it never was...maybe it was just a dream.

In any case, the dream is over.

The Trump boys have big plans for our country.

Sorry, their country.

There's money to be made! Make that MONEY!!!!

Oil to be drilled for, coal to be mined, pipelines to be laid. Federal land to be sold to the highest bidder. All of those National Parks need to be monetized! Otherwise, what use are they?

Away you pesky regulations! You only get in the way of progress; and all in the naive guise of protecting our air and water and health and common heritage.

Fuck that namby pamby shit!  There's money to be made! Make that MONEY!!!!

So fuck your health, fuck your feelings, fuck your future.

Fuck your so-called Constitutional rights!

The Constitution is only paper and ink. And ink fades and paper burns.

Gays and blacks and browns and uppity womenfolk and liberals and progressives and environmentalists and humanists and all the bleeding hearts in the fact based community will be taught a lesson now.

And they better not ever forget it:

Rich White Men Make The Rules.

Rule Number One: There's money to be made! Make that MONEY!!!!

A Fool And His Money...

...is the raison d'etre of the modern Republican Tea Party.

See, like any snake oil salesman or carny barker worth his salt knows, you can tell fools anything.

Anything!

And there's a very good chance that they will believe you, AND give you some money.

Deep Stupid is a beautiful thing.

Ask Wayne LaPierre. Ask Ted Cruz. Ask Mike Huckabee. Ask...

Ask any Republican.

Ask any televangelist.

Some very, very wealthy people have already pissed away over $200 million on failed 2016 Republican presidential candidates.

Rubio, Walker, Fiorina, Perry, Bush, Carson, Paul--a real Murderer's Row of Incompetence.

Think about that. All that dough and nothing to show for it.

And yet, they keep on giving...why?

Well, the one thing all these losers have in common is that they promised not to raise taxes on the donor class.

Come hell or high water our cherished billionaires will not have to pay a penny more. Let the country's infrastructure fall apart, let the water and air be poisoned, let the public schools fail, let the poor starve and the sick die, not one penny more.

In fact, those fabulous "makers" deserve a tax cut, don't ya know.

So of course they keep giving.

After all, what's a few hundred million when there are trillions at stake?

An Observation

Isn't it interesting how most, if not all, of the really big money guys turn out to be "boot on their faces" law and order types?

I mean, it's not like the masses ever rise up here in the "Bestest Country There Ever Was Or Ever Could Be."

They're too busy watching various Kardashians cavort for fame and fortune, or the mighty NFL (aka Noted Felons League).

But a little bit of social unrest or the slightest protest, e.g. Occupy Wall Street or Black Lives Matter, and the billionaires get all anxious that maybe the cops aren't being tough enough on the rabble.

Could it be because they know, deep down, that they are guilty of looting the nation's riches?

By rigging the tax codes, buying the Congress, fixing the exchanges, subverting the laws, and all those other "free market" tactics beloved by plutocrats everywhere.

And sooner or later, if the people ever wake up, there won't be enough cops to protect them...

This Space For Sale

Since, as they say at the Audubon Society, it's never too early to feather your own nest, I'd like to announce that my Republican presidential endorsement for 2016 is up for sale to the highest bidder.

And in keeping with the finest traditions of the Citizens United era of this great land of ours, I expect it to go for a pretty penny.

So, get out your checkbooks boys! Call all of your fave billionaires and get busy bribing me.

In the interest of full disclosure my endorsement doesn't include my vote. I wouldn't vote for any of you if you put a gun to my head. Jesus, what a bunch of pandering scum!

But still, if there's money to be made off this election, and there surely is, I want my share.

And I really don't care who it comes from: Shelly "King of the Jews" Adelson,  either Koch brother, one of those libertarian halfwits that Silicon Valley seems to crap out on a regular basis, or any other billionaire weasel trying to buy up our democracy.

I ain't particular.

All I ask is small bills and non-sequential serial numbers.

Thank You,

And God Bless America.

Another Brief Memo To The Republican Party About 2016

Another Bush?!  Rand Paul? Rick Perry? Scott Walker? Marco Rubio? Ted Cruz? Chris Christie? (Shudder)

Hey Guys! It's not your candidates, though face it, they are, almost without exception, loathsome, demi-humans.

It's your stupid shit, ante-bellum, anti-women, anti-gay, anti-minority, anti-workers, anti-sanity, anti-environment policies.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mention this because I care about the future of the Republican Party.

Fuck the Republican Party. Seriously.

No, I mention this because every single thing you do is just so aesthetically unpleasing. It harshes my mellow.

Anyway, I know you won't listen because, despite your overall awfulness, you'll still pull in the hillbilly, racist, homophobe, misogynist, free market, Ayn Rand, Luddite, Creationist, Bible thumpin', regressive, gun lovin', mouth breathing, brain dead, xenophobe dipshit vote.

You know, the Big Tent.

Plus, whatever the failings of your candidates, you can always count on handouts from the vile billionaire Koch brothers and their ilk, who collect and trade Republicans like kids with YuGiOh cards. To re-purpose an old Churchill (or perhaps GB Shaw) quote: "We've already determined what you are. Now we're just haggling about the price."

So hey, never mind. Keep up the good work!

Billionaire Beggars

Being a mostly red blooded American male I should be all excited by the football season.

I mean, really, what else matters in life?

And here in sad sad Arizona, "our" Cardinals are doing very well.

That's supposed to compensate for the low wages, crappy schools, hillbilly politics, racist sheriffs, brain dead populace, suburban sprawl, cultural wasteland, and all the rest of the ongoing river o' shit that is life in Arizona. Did I mention we have championship golf, too?

Bread and circuses, baby. Bread and circuses.

Unfortunately, I just can't bring myself to root root root for the home team.

Nothing against the players or the coaches. I'm sure they're a fine bunch of guys, with just the right mix of wife, and/or girlfriend, and/or child, and/or drug, abusers mixed in.

And I'm fine with all that. No, really, I am. I guess it's the libertarian in me.

What I can't abide are the team's billionaire beggar owners, the lovely Bidwill family.

Look in the dictionary under institutionalized mediocrity and there's a picture of Bidwill pere et fils.

4 winning seasons in 26 years in Arizona. This in the NFL, a league that does everything it can to insure parity. Wow. Because Arizona is the land of eternal optimism, after just one winning season the Cardinals were rewarded with a shiny new stadium at tax payer expense. This new bauble increased the value of the team enough to make the Bidwill's billionaires. Shouldn't that be enough for one lifetime?

But it's not enough. No, it's never enough.

Hardly a month goes by without young Michael Bidwill whining about the Cardinals not getting their fair share of something. Parking or signage or whatever. Their "partners", the City of Glendale, may crash and burn financially, but until Mikey's happy with his cut, nothing else matters.

Of course, they are not alone in this. Every major city in America has been, or will be, held hostage by some billionaire scum who owns the local team and wants something--usually a tax payer funded new stadium to replace the tax payer funded old stadium. Because, well, you know, old stuff's creepy.

Not nearly as creepy as a bunch of old white men with too much money and power and an overwhelming sense of entitlement...

Go Team!

How Much For Arizona?

So a lot of Dark Money flowed into Arizona for the recent election...

Millions and millions and millions of dollars!!

Almost all of it went to Republican candidates.

Why?

Trust me, there isn't anything in Arizona worth all the money that was spent here.

No oil, no shale, not much water to privatize, and the mines are already spoken for.

Unless they think they can get their hands on the Grand Canyon...hmmm?

Millions and millions to get Doug Ducey elected governor? Doug Ducey? Please.

No, on the face of it, it doesn't make much sense.

Until you remember how the Germans used the Spanish Civil War to work out the kinks in their tactics. Field test the Stuka's and Panzers. They didn't really care much about Franco or Spain, they were just practicing for something more important...finding out what worked, and what didn't work.

I think that's what we just saw in Arizona and some of the other unimportant states. A field test. How often do you have to repeat a lie before people start to believe it? Daily? Hourly? On every station? What does that cost per vote? Crunch the numbers.

Got to get ready for the next Blitzkrieg.

Some Lovely Parting Gifts

It appears that Donald Sterling, part time slumlord, full time racist, will be forced by the NBA to sell the Los Angeles Clippers for TWO BILLION dollars to one of those multi-billionaires who infest our poor, benighted nation.

Said billionaire is paying more than twice what the franchise was valued at by Forbes magazine.

This will no doubt teach Sterling, and all the other owners of professional sports teams, a very valuable lesson:

There's a rich sucker born every minute. And no matter how badly you screw up, one of them will come along and bail you out...

Since Don is apparently suffering from the onset of dementia, (karma anyone?), his wife Shelly, a woman who has set the bar incredibly high in the category of looking the other way, will handle all of the details of the sale.

You are an evil, disgraceful person and for your "punishment" you get to walk away with $2 billion.

This is the most compelling justification I can think of for estate taxes.

Let's All Pitch In And Get Alice Walton A Designated Driver

Money, of course, can't buy you happiness. Or so we've been told...

On the other hand it can buy you the best lawyers, most politicians, and more judges than you'd think.

So with enough dough, say 20 billion, you can drink and drive all you want. Maybe even kill someone. And get the records expunged so you can be back on the road in time for happy hour.

For God's sake, don't pick on the poor billionaires. The Koch brothers, Stephen Schwarzman, Tom "Kristallnacht" Perkins, Donald Trump, Sheldon Adelson, and the rest of them. Don't expect them to abide by our "laws". Who are we to judge them, anyway?

They suffer so for us, just like Baby Jesus.

And all they want to be is loved and valued. And un-taxed.

Oh, and never to be questioned or challenged by the rabble.

Is that too much to ask?

Blow Hard

This is one of my favorite times of the year.

A hurricane, named Isaac in a nice biblical twist, and what, in other circumstances, noted televangelist Pat Robertson would surely call "the vengeful act of a just God", is poised to rip through a bunch of deeply Red States.

The citizens of these states, and their elected officials, God fearing, Gun Lovin' Republicans for the most part, who spend the rest of the year complaining about the "evil meddlin' Federal gubmint", "anti-American liberals", "wicked gays", "welfare queens with their Cadillacs", and "all those people (and we all know who they mean) looking for a handout and taking advantage of the rest of us" will soon be on their collective knees begging for Federal relief. The hypocrisy of the Red States is deep and wide...and apparently never ending.

The relief they clamor for will come in large part from the taxes paid by those Blue States that our southern cousins so despise.

This happens in some form or other like clockwork and yet I never tire of it...

I must admit, though, with apologies to Mr. Robertson, that it seems to me that a truly "just" God would wait until all the billionaire pillagers who prop up the Republican Tea Party are celebrating in Tampa and then completely level the place...you know, like Sodom and Gomorrah.

A Modest Proposal

The net worth of the 400 richest Americans is approximately $1.4 TRILLION.

That's a lot of dough.

Since money is the root of all evil, as pious God fearing creatures they should be happy to give up some of it.

(If money really is the root of all evil they should gladly give up all of it, but that might be asking too much.)

More importantly, as patriotic Americans they should welcome the chance to help their beloved homeland in its time of need.

Now I don't want to be called a commie or a Maoist or a socialist...or, God forbid, a liberal!

So, I propose that each of the 400 gets to keep one billion dollars. If they just stuff it in a mattress, that will still allow them to spend $1,000,000 a year for the next 1000 years. Or, if they invest it wisely, a minimum of $40,000,000 a year after taxes. Forever. That should be enough for anyone to live on, don't you think?

If my grade school math is accurate, when you subtract 400 billion from 1.4 trillion you have a trillion left over. That goes to rebuilding our infrastructure, jump starting renewable energy projects, healthcare, retraining unemployed workers, school lunch programs, anything that might benefit the other 300 million of us.

Or we could just give 10 million deserving families $100,000 each to do with what they will. (As you can see, a trillion is a lot of money.)

Remember, the 400 still get to be billionaires, so they should have nothing to complain about.

If this seems like too rash a proposal, I do have one other possible option:

It involves a tumbrel and a guillotine.

Why We Love Capitalism So Much

Looking over the Forbes' list of Arizona billionaires we find a guy who made his money selling cheap tires, (bits of which you can often see dotting the freeway on your morning commute); a guy who made his money selling billboards, (which are considered public art in these parts); a guy who made his money the Koch brothers' way, (he inherited it); and last, and certainly least, a father and son team who owe their billions, for both are indeed billionaires, to government backed student loans, (these loans help students attend their "university", which is a university in the same way Elvis was a black belt).

Let me repeat that: government backed student loans have made these guys billionaires. Wow. Is this a great country, or what?