According to noted televangelist and hairspray adept Pat Robertson, we're very near the End Times. Again.
And here I just put all of the decorations away from the last "End Times." Jesus. I guess apocalypses do have a way of sneaking up on you.
You know, one of the problems with living your life according to a bunch of superstitions and fairy tales is that you're never exactly sure what to plan for.
Plague of locusts or famine? Do I need to stock up on the bug spray or just a bunch of canned goods? Or both? Beats me.
Is this really the Rapture or just a problem with my meds?
Will it rain for 40 days and nights, or only long enough to mess up the car?
Is it better to be already dead and raised up by old Mr. Jesus, or alive, brutally killed in the conflagration, and then raised up?
Should I spring for the 3D Imax version of the Book of Revelations? Those glasses give me a headache.
What do the Chinese think about all this?
So many questions, and so few answers.
Showing posts with label Mr. Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mr. Jesus. Show all posts
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Last Refuge
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel." (Samuel Johnson)
It's time to update Dr. Johnson's famous observation. By necessity we must now add religion to the equation--at least on the Republican Tea Party side of the ledger.
It's simply just not enough anymore to hide behind phony, flag waving patriotism. These days you also have to shove Mr. Jesus in everyone's face to prove your bona fides.
So one of Rick Perry's Crazy Legion of Jesus minister buddies called Mormonism a "cult"? Hey, take a good close look at your Merriam Webster's--by definition, every last Christian sect is a cult.
Perry had to apologize of course--wouldn't want to run off any potential Mormon voters.
(For this he apologizes? But not for executing a possibly innocent man? Strange times we live in.)
Why any Mormon would vote for Perry when they still have one of their own tribe, the Human Weather Vane, Willard Mitt Romney, to vote for, is beyond me...
It's a long way to 2012 and we can expect a lot more of this "My love for our Lord and Savior is greater than my esteemed opponents' love for our Lord and Savior" nonsense between now and the Republican convention.
Of course, it's completely beside the point. The Founding Fathers didn't spend much time worrying about that sort of mumbo jumbo; nor did Lincoln, or either of the Roosevelt's. They were busy with weightier matters and just didn't have the time or inclination to dabble in fairy tales.
But the old My God is Bigger Than Your God is endlessly entertaining, and these days that's much more important than ideas or governing.
It's time to update Dr. Johnson's famous observation. By necessity we must now add religion to the equation--at least on the Republican Tea Party side of the ledger.
It's simply just not enough anymore to hide behind phony, flag waving patriotism. These days you also have to shove Mr. Jesus in everyone's face to prove your bona fides.
So one of Rick Perry's Crazy Legion of Jesus minister buddies called Mormonism a "cult"? Hey, take a good close look at your Merriam Webster's--by definition, every last Christian sect is a cult.
Perry had to apologize of course--wouldn't want to run off any potential Mormon voters.
(For this he apologizes? But not for executing a possibly innocent man? Strange times we live in.)
Why any Mormon would vote for Perry when they still have one of their own tribe, the Human Weather Vane, Willard Mitt Romney, to vote for, is beyond me...
It's a long way to 2012 and we can expect a lot more of this "My love for our Lord and Savior is greater than my esteemed opponents' love for our Lord and Savior" nonsense between now and the Republican convention.
Of course, it's completely beside the point. The Founding Fathers didn't spend much time worrying about that sort of mumbo jumbo; nor did Lincoln, or either of the Roosevelt's. They were busy with weightier matters and just didn't have the time or inclination to dabble in fairy tales.
But the old My God is Bigger Than Your God is endlessly entertaining, and these days that's much more important than ideas or governing.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
All Haircut, No Cattle
Rick Perry, the governor of Texas, who briefly floated the idea of secession, until someone pointed out to him that without Federal money Texas would resemble one of the poorer states of Mexico, is now flirting with the idea of running for president in 2012.
You may recall that our last experience with having a Texas governor as President of the United States wasn't a particularly happy one. Unless you were a billionaire or a war profiteer, that is. But try to forget that for just a moment, and let's give Mr. P a chance to tell us what he believes in.
He believes that the Federal stimulus was a "$4 trillion rat hole". He's got his numbers wrong, of course. (He is a Republican after all.) And there are a few million people in the auto industry and related fields that might disagree about the usefulness of the stimulus. Here's a fun fact: Rick Perry's own state used Federal money to balance its budget and avoid a financial disaster. But don't bother the "guvnah" with facts, y'all. As any faithful Fox News listener will tell you, using facts is just a cheap liberal trick.
Perry also believes in states' rights. Big surprise there. However, like all truly patriotic, God fearing Republicans, if a state's citizens should decide that they favor gay marriage, or reproductive rights for women, or medical marijuana, then Ricky would favor federal legislation to thwart that state's will. Because Mr. Jesus doesn't want those things and Mr. Jesus trumps everything.
Yes, you guessed it, Rick Perry is a conduit of God, another Christian warrior determined to lead us down the path of righteousness. As he perceives it.
Haven't you heard, America should be a theocracy! That's what the Founders intended. Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, Hamilton, Madison--they all spent their time praying--not thinking.
You might think that having one card carrying Crazy Jesus Club member running would be enough for any political party, but not the Republicans. They may have given up on that "Big Tent" crap, but it's still a wide trough. So Michele Bachmann and all the rest, say hello to Rick Perry!
You may recall that our last experience with having a Texas governor as President of the United States wasn't a particularly happy one. Unless you were a billionaire or a war profiteer, that is. But try to forget that for just a moment, and let's give Mr. P a chance to tell us what he believes in.
He believes that the Federal stimulus was a "$4 trillion rat hole". He's got his numbers wrong, of course. (He is a Republican after all.) And there are a few million people in the auto industry and related fields that might disagree about the usefulness of the stimulus. Here's a fun fact: Rick Perry's own state used Federal money to balance its budget and avoid a financial disaster. But don't bother the "guvnah" with facts, y'all. As any faithful Fox News listener will tell you, using facts is just a cheap liberal trick.
Perry also believes in states' rights. Big surprise there. However, like all truly patriotic, God fearing Republicans, if a state's citizens should decide that they favor gay marriage, or reproductive rights for women, or medical marijuana, then Ricky would favor federal legislation to thwart that state's will. Because Mr. Jesus doesn't want those things and Mr. Jesus trumps everything.
Yes, you guessed it, Rick Perry is a conduit of God, another Christian warrior determined to lead us down the path of righteousness. As he perceives it.
Haven't you heard, America should be a theocracy! That's what the Founders intended. Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, Hamilton, Madison--they all spent their time praying--not thinking.
You might think that having one card carrying Crazy Jesus Club member running would be enough for any political party, but not the Republicans. They may have given up on that "Big Tent" crap, but it's still a wide trough. So Michele Bachmann and all the rest, say hello to Rick Perry!
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