The Conversation Going On Inside The Minds Of Republican Politicians

Wouldn't it just be easier to reach out to Hispanics, and women, and blacks, and gays, and students with policies that don't hurt them?

No. That would just make us like liberals. Yuck.

No, the easy thing is to work nonstop 24/7 to keep all of the above from voting, or at the very least make it so hard for them to vote that they don't. After all, it's what we're good at. God knows we can't govern worth a damn.

(laughter)

But aren't we the Party of Lincoln?

Of course we are. And we must constantly remind our good, overwhelmingly white, supporters of that. Otherwise they might start to think that we're all delusional racist bigots, consumed by greed, fear, and envy. And that would hurt their self-esteem. Because they keep electing and re-electing us.

Shouldn't we try to do something about all the guns in the hands of unstable people?

Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights!

Ok. But do we really need all of those rapid fire rifles and pistols on the streets?

Yes. Mass shootings help to distract the common folk from all the truly awful things we're trying to do to them.

And that, after all, is the primary objective. Take as much as we can from the poor and middle class, and give as much as we can to the rich.

Amen!

Very Rich People Don't Really Like Democracy Much

Don't get me wrong, now.

They LOVE this country.

Not enough to pay more taxes, of course.

Not enough to worry about inequality. No.

Not enough to fight for health care and a quality education for all.

Not enough to be concerned about voter suppression and gerrymandering.

Not enough to be angry when the cops gun down another unarmed black or brown person.

No, that's not the kind of "love" we're talking about.

The kind of "love" they mean is "tough" love. Where they tell the rest of us to stop complaining about these issues and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps...because this is the "best country on the face of the earth" and "God loves the USA" and "poor people are lazy" and "welfare cheats are stealing from us all" and "food stamps make people dependent and obese" and "health care isn't a right" and "corporations and wealthy people are hideously overtaxed" and all of the other nonsensical bullshit they're so fond of spewing.

That's the kind of love they understand.

The wrap yourself in the flag, wave your Bible, and bitch about the "takers" kind.

Prepare To Go Backwards

It is a strange thing to suddenly realize that the country you thought you lived in isn't there any more.

Perhaps it never was...maybe it was just a dream.

In any case, the dream is over.

The Trump boys have big plans for our country.

Sorry, their country.

There's money to be made! Make that MONEY!!!!

Oil to be drilled for, coal to be mined, pipelines to be laid. Federal land to be sold to the highest bidder. All of those National Parks need to be monetized! Otherwise, what use are they?

Away you pesky regulations! You only get in the way of progress; and all in the naive guise of protecting our air and water and health and common heritage.

Fuck that namby pamby shit!  There's money to be made! Make that MONEY!!!!

So fuck your health, fuck your feelings, fuck your future.

Fuck your so-called Constitutional rights!

The Constitution is only paper and ink. And ink fades and paper burns.

Gays and blacks and browns and uppity womenfolk and liberals and progressives and environmentalists and humanists and all the bleeding hearts in the fact based community will be taught a lesson now.

And they better not ever forget it:

Rich White Men Make The Rules.

Rule Number One: There's money to be made! Make that MONEY!!!!

The Flim Flam Men

"The Republican platform and policies are so obviously correct and right for America that they can only win elections by cheating and/or lying."

Huh? What? Those things shouldn't be in the same sentence, should they?

Well, logically they shouldn't...But as a practical matter they have to be.

There can be no other explanation for what we observe every day, all around us.

As soon as the Republicans gain control of a state's legislature, they immediately start trying to suppress as many voters who lean towards the Democrats as possible.

Whether by gerrymandering, complicating the registration process, shortening the voting period, or simply by not having enough polling stations in minority districts, they do everything they can to insure that Democrats will have a hard time voting.

And if a few of their own constituents also suffer, well, all the better for their cover story.

The Republican Party is afraid of open, fair elections.

The Republican Party fears that it cannot win an open, fair election.

Therefore, they will lie and cheat and steal to win.

And since they have no interest in governing, it really doesn't matter if their candidates are incompetent fools.

All that matters is winning.

Keep 'Em Poor And Stupid... And Desperate

That my friends, is the entire economic policy of your Republican Party.

A) Let's do away with the minimum wage.

B) Let's get rid of OSHA, the EPA, the FDA, and all those pesky regulations.

C) Let's shred the safety net.

D) Let's destroy the unions.

E) Let's gut public education.

F) Let's privatize Social Security.

G) All of the above.

We need lots of uneducated, desperate people, willing to work for anything, and in any conditions.

That's what our bosses want, and that's what we're going to give them!

Oh, and God Bless America!