The Real Problem

The real problem isn't that we have semi-human scum like Lauren "Handjob" Boebert, Marjorie Taylor "Calling Me Trailor Park Is An Insult To Trailor Parks" Greene, Andy "I Haven't Been Indicted Yet" Biggs, David "My Own Family Hates Me" Schweikert, Paul "What's Shakin?" Gosar, Jim "Let's Wrestle" Jordan, Matt "Venmo" Gaetz, James "There Is No Nickname You Can Give Me That Captures How Truly Loathsome I Am" Comer, Mike "It's In The Bible" Johnson, Virginia "Hateful Old Thing" Fox, John "Cornpone" Kennedy, Rand "In Putin's Pocket" Paul, Marco "Tiny Man Tinier Brain" Rubio, Rick "Medicare Fraud Hall Of Fame" Scott, and all the rest of those Republican assholes in Congress.

This is a big country, after all, and there are plenty of meretricious grifters. In fact, you might even say that meretricious grifting is one of our founding principles.

No, the problem is that there are millions of people willing to vote, over and over and over again, for these clowns.

After they have proven, time after time, that they have no interest at all in governing. They just want to perform.

Put on a little show for the cameras. Put on a little show for Traitor Don. Put on a little show for Putin and the Big Money Boys.

Maybe get some airtime on Fox "News". Or NewsMax, or OAN, or any of those other channels that only certifiable idiots watch.

But they are so fucking bad at it! I mean small town community theater BAD.

Every time they're certain that they have a gotcha question, an "ah hah!" moment, or a witness that will reveal everything...it inevitably blows up in their faces.

Every. Single. Time.

At this point, only a moron would fall for their schtick.

That's the real problem.

TOO MANY MORONS.

And apparently there's not a goddamned thing we can do about it, except cross our fingers and hope that the next CoVid surge thins out the herd a little.

No, not a little. 

A Lot.

Running On Empty

For a 2 Party political system to function properly, you need two functioning political Parties. That's the bare minimum.

However, if you have one Party that wants to govern, create laws that help people, solve problems in the society, et cetera, and one Party that wants to behave like the monkey house at an underfunded, failing zoo, hurling their feces and shrieking, then, well, you've got a problem.

Time after time it has been proven that the majority of voters don't want what the Republicans are trying to serve them. On gun control, on voting rights, on abortion, on the minimum wage, on the environment, on everything, the people have said, over and over, "Nope".

You would think that they would take the hint, and try to come up with some policies that people like.

But, no, that's way too hard for the feces hurlers. That would require a certain degree of thought. And where's the fun in thinking? Thinking is hard. 

It's so much easier to just shriek a little louder and hurl another turd. Oh, and throw in something about Jesus, too.

Take a minute and try to think of one thing, one piece of legislation, that the Republican Party has come up with to help the majority of the American people. Not the bankers. Not the corporations. Not the Billionaires. The majority.

Nothing, huh? Not a goddamn thing.

Tax cuts for the rich? More guns for everyone? These are their favored policies. And all the proof you need that the Republicans have nothing to offer. 

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Poor Sarah Palin

Poor Sarah Palin.

She thought she had a lifetime lock on the coveted Ignorant Shrill Incompetent Republican Female title.

But, like they say, "you snooze, you lose."

After the intellectual triumph that was her VP campaign, and the resulting Obama years, wherein she basked in the warm waters of Fox News' outrage du jour machine, Sarah took some "me time" off.

She took her eyes off the ball, and what happened?

Other Republican females upped their game. 

Merely being Ignorant, Shrill and Incompetent is no longer enough.

No, in the era of Boebert, Greene, Lesko, Blackburn, Collins and others too numerous to mention, you have to add a few more spices to the fetid, poisonous, soup you're cooking.

Now, the straight faced, hypocritical, bullshit of a Susan Collins is the most genteel additive. But it's way too subtle for the seething MAGA masses, i.e. the MAGAts. "Deeply concerned" just doesn't move the needle much with them.

What you need is that high octane racist, homophobic, xenophobic, paranoiac, Luddite, mix. Just sprinkle liberally, stir, and serve. (Always use a ridiculously large amount of hypocrisy as a starter  base.)

Sarah, being cunning in her own stunningly simple way, recognizes this, and is no doubt working on her comeback. After all, even with their Russian sources dried up--at least temporarily--there's vast sums of other, corporate money to be begged for by all Republicans. 

And she's certainly earned her place at the trough.

So, look out ladies! Sarah's back in town!

Remember,  "you can't keep a miserable, opportunistic, publicity mad hack, down for long!"

The "Dumbest Person On Capitol Hill"

Madison Cawthorn was recently called the "dumbest person on Capitol Hill."

My first thought on hearing this was, "What? Did Louie Gohmert die?"

This is simply not fair. Sure, Madison Cawthorn is a fucking idiot. No arguments there.

But Louie Gohmert, who as far as I can tell is still alive, is in the Hall of Fame of Dumb. Cawthorn is a mere rookie compared to Louie.

He will need many years of stupidity to get anywhere near Louie's level.

I don't doubt that he will try, but there are no guarantees.

Besides, before he gets close to Gohmert's, uh, achievements, he needs to get past all of the other pretenders to the Great One's throne.

I'm looking at you Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert, Virginia Foxx, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz. 

(If this were a tag team affair, the last two would be a lock.)

And, try as we might, we can't forget Arizona's duo of stupid, Paul Gosar and Andy Biggs.

Let's not overlook the Senatorial competition, either. 

Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Chuck Grassley, all deserve consideration. There are countless others, too. All vying for the title.

And remember, while there can only be one "dumbest person on Capitol Hill", it's an honor just to be nominated.

Curiously, they all have that "R" next to their names. You know, "R" for Russia. Probably just a coincidence.

No Madison. You're an imbecile. No one is denying that. But you've got a long, long way to go to reach Gohmert level dumb.

Uh....Thanks?

It should be obvious by now to everyone, including his immediate family, that Louie Gohmert is a moron.

Everything he says, everything he does, confirms this. I can only imagine what kind of shit hole, to use the Flaming Orange Anuses' preferred term, he represents. 

What kind of "people", and I use that word in its broadest sense, keep sending this "person", and again I use that word in its broadest sense, to Congress?

As David Susskind used to say, "the mind boggles".

However, as unbelievable as it may seem, Louie now has competition--stiff competition--for the title of Worst Congress person.

My own sad state has thrown up some hardy challengers. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, David Schweikart, and Debbie Lesko are all in the running. 

Biggs and Gosar probably couldn't spell sedition without help, and yet they both committed it. 

Schweikart's own family campaigned against him. Must make Thanksgiving fun.

And Lesko is just another female, empty pant suit, Republican. The lights aren't on, and, yep, no one is home.

Hell of a team the GOP has assembled in Arizona. Individually they are #Sad. But as a group they are stunning. Is this a great country, or what?

We sentient Arizonans would be overcome with shame at the prospect of someone from our state toppling Louie from his perch atop the garbage heap that is the Republican House caucus...if it weren't for two late entries:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert!

Two Q-anon embracing, Trump loving, pistol packing Mamas who never met a ridiculous idea they didn't heartily embrace. In a well ordered society they would both be disarmed and placed in padded rooms somewhere quiet. In the good ol USA they are both armed, and, at least for the time being, in Congress.

I would say that they're brain dead, but you have to have had a functioning brain at some point to be declared brain dead, so...

Still, we must enjoy our victories, however small they might be. 

Therefore, on behalf of the Arizonans who still have a sense of shame, I say to Lauren and Marjorie,

Uh....thanks?

A Traitor Until The Bitter End

You would think that a man who has declared bankruptcy so many times would know when to cut and run.

But no.

Apparently Donald J. Trump is going to ride the crazy train to the very end of the line.

I guess Il Trumpo still thinks that he's immune to the laws of this land.

And why not? He's gotten away with all sorts of illegal crap his entire worthless life. In fact, his business career has been based on illegal crap. Mob concrete, scab labor, stiffing his sub contractors, suing people who can't afford lawyers--there are many arrows in the Trump quiver. 

And he's always gotten away with it.

Why should treason and sedition be any different?

He expects to bluff and threaten his way out of every situation.

So why should encouraging a mob of his delusional halfwits to storm the Capitol be any different?

But it is. Oh yes, it is. You can fuck with a lot of stuff. But not that. And all of his little Republican helpers, Biggs, Gosar, Greene, Guiliani, Boebert, McCarthy and the rest should be updating their resumes. Maybe Russian Television is hiring.

Of course, his army of imbeciles will always stay with him. Like any cult, once you've drunk too much of the Kool-aid the only way out may be death. And that is a problem that we will have to deal with in the coming years. But for the majority of sentient Americans, he's finally crossed the line.

When even a piece of opportunistic garbage like Moscow Mitch McConnell turns against you, you've gone too far.

There will be trials, there will be asset seizures, there will be prison sentences. Best to fuel up the private jet and punch the coordinates for Moscow or Riyadh into the navigation system.

Anyone with the last name of "Trump" might consider an alias. This applies to "Kushner" as well.

(The most amusing aspect of this whole tragedy is that Ivanka, aka Princess Sparkle Pony, thinks she has a future in politics. Maybe she can be the head snitch in whatever prison she ends up in.)

Personally, I would dispense with jail time for her daddy and just put him up against a wall somewhere. Blindfold optional.

But then I'm old school when it comes to treason.