Kari Lake Needs Help!

I don't know Kari Lake.

I don't think I know anyone who knows Kari Lake.

Blessedly, we don't travel in the same social circles.

But if anyone reading this knows her, or knows someone who knows her, I'm begging you to organize an intervention.

She needs help. Poor little thing thinks that being a news reader--not even a real journalist, just a news reader--on a Fox propaganda station, in a minor media market, somehow qualifies her to be Governor of Arizona.

Of course, this is not unusual in Arizona Republicans. Our current Governor's sole qualification for office was being an ice cream salesman, after all. So, as they say, the bar is set very, very, low.

I'm not questioning Kari's Republican bona fides, either. She's got them down pat. The groveling and genuflecting to Trump, the haranguing about THE WALL, the fear mongering about hordes of immigrants, the lying about President Biden, the questioning of the legitimacy of the 2020 election. All of the standard Republican reactionary bullshit rolls off her lips so easily. It's really something to behold.

No, what causes me to ask for an intervention for dear Kari is that she promised recently, if elected, to hang a painting of Der Trump, dressed up as some sort of Revolutionary War soldier, in the Governor's office.

And that is a bridge too far. Cadet Bone Spurs as a soldier?! Puhleeeze.

(I suppose, somewhere in the deep dark depths of the internet, you could find a portrait of Hitler as a rabbi...you see what I'm getting at here?)

Anyway, if you truly care about Kari Lake's mental health, such as it is, get her some help, and quickly.

See, Arizona being what it is, if the Republicans can suppress enough Democratic votes, a former Fox News' reader with limited intellect, spewing venomous nonsense, might just be our next governor. 

(By the way, none of the other Republicans running for Governor are appreciably better. Maybe a little less strident, a little more polished--but they are all still pushing the same sad bullshit.)

"Suckers" And "Losers"

Shocked! 

Shocked that our Traitor in Chief would say something callous and heartless and cruel about veterans.

Just kidding.

Not shocked. Not surprised.

The Trump years have left us all numb.  

The flood of horseshit has been so constant, so overwhelming, that at some point even the most vigilant among us have thrown up their hands and turned to the bottle.

Every day has brought another outrage, another affront. Sometimes every hour.

He has shit on the Constitution, he has shit on our laws, he has shit on Barack Obama, he has shit on countless Black Americans, he has shit on women, he has shit on John McCain--both while he was alive and after his death, he has shit on all of our oldest allies, he has shit on Gold Star families, he has shit on just about everything and everyone. 

Except his boss, V. Putin, of course. And his base of low functioning idiots, too.

So, no, it's not surprising that Cadet Bone Spurs would shit all over every American who has ever served in our military.  

They just weren't "smart" enough--or rich enough--to weasel out like he did. They didn't understand that money is everything--the only thing that truly matters--like he does.

"Suckers" and "Losers"?  

The only suckers and losers that I can see are the sad fools who continue to support those large chunks of human garbage known as Donald J. Trump and his scum family.

Cadet Bone Spurs Takes Charge!

Him was scared!

The evil demonstrators frightened him!

Him cowered in his bunker!

The fires frightened him!

Him was even too scared to tweet!!!!

But then, from somewhere in the rotting orange husk of his flabby body where, in a human, the heart would normally be, he summoned what passes for Cadet Bone Spurs' courage, and he called for the military!

HIS military!

And suddenly he was Truman dropping the H-Bomb, Nixon bombing Cambodia, Reagan--The Lion of Granada, W. invading the wrong country!

He was all of them and even more...or less, depending on your point of view.

And a grateful nation will once again rest easy.

As the cops and soldier boys happily roam free through the streets of America, shooting whomever they'd like.

Because, let's face it, many of them signed up for just this kind of opportunity.

And, like they say, let God sort out the guilty from the innocent.

No Big Parade For Cadet Bone Spurs!?!

#SAD.

And he was all set, too.

Got the cadet uniform out of mothballs.

Ordered a plus-plus size corset from Lane Bryant.

Asked Kim Jong-un if he could borrow one of those big hats that the North Korean generals* fancy. (Must keep the, uh, "hair" in place.)

Practiced his Mussolini jaw thrust.

Dusted off that Purple Heart that some delusional idiot gave him.

Watched Apocalypse Now again.

Got his G.I. Joes out of storage.

And now it's all for naught.

#SAD.

*(By the way, what's the deal with all those medals the North Korean generals wear? I may not be up on my Korean history, but I can't think of a war that North Korea has been in in the last 64 years. So what were the medals awarded for? Participation? Like in kids' soccer? Here's a juice box, a graham cracker, and a nice shiny medal! Or maybe you just get one every year you manage to stay alive with a murderous psychopath in power...In that case, we should ALL be getting some soon.)