The Real Problem

The real problem isn't that we have semi-human scum like Lauren "Handjob" Boebert, Marjorie Taylor "Calling Me Trailor Park Is An Insult To Trailor Parks" Greene, Andy "I Haven't Been Indicted Yet" Biggs, David "My Own Family Hates Me" Schweikert, Paul "What's Shakin?" Gosar, Jim "Let's Wrestle" Jordan, Matt "Venmo" Gaetz, James "There Is No Nickname You Can Give Me That Captures How Truly Loathsome I Am" Comer, Mike "It's In The Bible" Johnson, Virginia "Hateful Old Thing" Fox, John "Cornpone" Kennedy, Rand "In Putin's Pocket" Paul, Marco "Tiny Man Tinier Brain" Rubio, Rick "Medicare Fraud Hall Of Fame" Scott, and all the rest of those Republican assholes in Congress.

This is a big country, after all, and there are plenty of meretricious grifters. In fact, you might even say that meretricious grifting is one of our founding principles.

No, the problem is that there are millions of people willing to vote, over and over and over again, for these clowns.

After they have proven, time after time, that they have no interest at all in governing. They just want to perform.

Put on a little show for the cameras. Put on a little show for Traitor Don. Put on a little show for Putin and the Big Money Boys.

Maybe get some airtime on Fox "News". Or NewsMax, or OAN, or any of those other channels that only certifiable idiots watch.

But they are so fucking bad at it! I mean small town community theater BAD.

Every time they're certain that they have a gotcha question, an "ah hah!" moment, or a witness that will reveal everything...it inevitably blows up in their faces.

Every. Single. Time.

At this point, only a moron would fall for their schtick.

That's the real problem.

TOO MANY MORONS.

And apparently there's not a goddamned thing we can do about it, except cross our fingers and hope that the next CoVid surge thins out the herd a little.

No, not a little. 

A Lot.

Uh....Thanks?

It should be obvious by now to everyone, including his immediate family, that Louie Gohmert is a moron.

Everything he says, everything he does, confirms this. I can only imagine what kind of shit hole, to use the Flaming Orange Anuses' preferred term, he represents. 

What kind of "people", and I use that word in its broadest sense, keep sending this "person", and again I use that word in its broadest sense, to Congress?

As David Susskind used to say, "the mind boggles".

However, as unbelievable as it may seem, Louie now has competition--stiff competition--for the title of Worst Congress person.

My own sad state has thrown up some hardy challengers. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, David Schweikart, and Debbie Lesko are all in the running. 

Biggs and Gosar probably couldn't spell sedition without help, and yet they both committed it. 

Schweikart's own family campaigned against him. Must make Thanksgiving fun.

And Lesko is just another female, empty pant suit, Republican. The lights aren't on, and, yep, no one is home.

Hell of a team the GOP has assembled in Arizona. Individually they are #Sad. But as a group they are stunning. Is this a great country, or what?

We sentient Arizonans would be overcome with shame at the prospect of someone from our state toppling Louie from his perch atop the garbage heap that is the Republican House caucus...if it weren't for two late entries:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert!

Two Q-anon embracing, Trump loving, pistol packing Mamas who never met a ridiculous idea they didn't heartily embrace. In a well ordered society they would both be disarmed and placed in padded rooms somewhere quiet. In the good ol USA they are both armed, and, at least for the time being, in Congress.

I would say that they're brain dead, but you have to have had a functioning brain at some point to be declared brain dead, so...

Still, we must enjoy our victories, however small they might be. 

Therefore, on behalf of the Arizonans who still have a sense of shame, I say to Lauren and Marjorie,

Uh....thanks?

A Traitor Until The Bitter End

You would think that a man who has declared bankruptcy so many times would know when to cut and run.

But no.

Apparently Donald J. Trump is going to ride the crazy train to the very end of the line.

I guess Il Trumpo still thinks that he's immune to the laws of this land.

And why not? He's gotten away with all sorts of illegal crap his entire worthless life. In fact, his business career has been based on illegal crap. Mob concrete, scab labor, stiffing his sub contractors, suing people who can't afford lawyers--there are many arrows in the Trump quiver. 

And he's always gotten away with it.

Why should treason and sedition be any different?

He expects to bluff and threaten his way out of every situation.

So why should encouraging a mob of his delusional halfwits to storm the Capitol be any different?

But it is. Oh yes, it is. You can fuck with a lot of stuff. But not that. And all of his little Republican helpers, Biggs, Gosar, Greene, Guiliani, Boebert, McCarthy and the rest should be updating their resumes. Maybe Russian Television is hiring.

Of course, his army of imbeciles will always stay with him. Like any cult, once you've drunk too much of the Kool-aid the only way out may be death. And that is a problem that we will have to deal with in the coming years. But for the majority of sentient Americans, he's finally crossed the line.

When even a piece of opportunistic garbage like Moscow Mitch McConnell turns against you, you've gone too far.

There will be trials, there will be asset seizures, there will be prison sentences. Best to fuel up the private jet and punch the coordinates for Moscow or Riyadh into the navigation system.

Anyone with the last name of "Trump" might consider an alias. This applies to "Kushner" as well.

(The most amusing aspect of this whole tragedy is that Ivanka, aka Princess Sparkle Pony, thinks she has a future in politics. Maybe she can be the head snitch in whatever prison she ends up in.)

Personally, I would dispense with jail time for her daddy and just put him up against a wall somewhere. Blindfold optional.

But then I'm old school when it comes to treason.