So Sheriff Joe Arpaio sends me a letter.
Now, if we're lucky, very soon, due to his own unique approach to law enforcement, Sheriff Joe Arpaio may be enjoying the inside of one of his jails.
But, until then, by God, he's going to fund raise for the next election.
And to fund raise, you've got to scare the more simple minded among us.
Scare them with talk of scary enemies!
According to Joe's letter, his enemies (and of course to his way of thinking the enemies of all) are legion:
Ultra liberals, celebrity lefties like Al Sharpton, George Lopez and Linda Ronstadt (!), law enforcement bashing demagogues, criminal illegal immigrants, and first and foremost, President Obama.
(No word yet on what Sheriff Joe's crack investigators have found out about Obama's birth certificate...stay tuned...these things take time...)
Yes, Joe tells us that "President Obama truly wants these illegal aliens loose in our communities--even hoping to grant them amnesty--so they can become hardened Democrat voters who will rubber-stamp his radical left wing agenda."
But thanks to the support of "patriots like you", Sheriff Joe is fighting the good fight.
And blah blah blah...
So keep sending Joe money, ok? He's the only thing keeping "them" from you!
This scam has worked for many years. America's toughest sheriff keeps getting re-elected by a large monolithic, block of frightened, stupid, old white folks. I'm talking to you, Sun City.
Who knows, he may win this time, too.
However, he may spend at least part of his next term in jail--not that that would deter his many followers.
Showing posts with label Joe Arpaio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joe Arpaio. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Sunday, December 30, 2012
2013 Predictions, or: Right Back Where We Started
Nearly 500 years ago, Nostradamus predicted that I would write this blog entry...
In 2013 we can expect more obstructionist nonsense from those super duper patriots in the Tea Party wing of the Republican nuthouse.
Once again President Obama will bend over backward to accommodate John Boehner in the misguided belief that Boehner can deliver Republican votes in the House. Unfortunately, the Republican House is still comprised of people like Louie Gohmert, Trent Franks, Darrell Issa, Paul Ryan, and Michele Bachmann. So, very little of substance will get done. And Boehner himself may be deposed by yet another empty suit.
We can hope for a ban on assault rifles and large capacity clips--but don't bet the farm on it.
The slaughter of the innocents will continue.
More attention will be paid to the antics of our pop singers and TV and movie stars than is healthy. Bread and circuses to keep the masses placated.
The Bilious, Bullying, Billionaires will continue their attack on Democracy, aided and abetted by most--but not all--of the corporate media--and a majority of the Supreme Court.
Fox "News" will find new ways to lie to the American people. Naturally, the people who listen to Fox will not notice this.
Mitt Romney, pere et fils, will continue to blame everyone and everything for his defeat--except for his own incompetence and his tired, incoherent ideas. But, of course, he didn't really want to be President anyway. So it all worked out well in the end.
The Dark Lord Cheney and his hateful spawn will attack the President for some reason or other.
No one but Fox News will care what the Dark Lord Cheney and his hateful spawn say.
George W. Bush, or Simple W if you prefer, will remain politically insignificant, just a bitter memory from an ugly past.
Chris Christie will start a diet and exercise program to get him in shape to lose to Hillary in 2016.
Arizona's politicians, including our pea brained Governor, Jan "Chuck Tell Me What To Do" Brewer, our criminally negligent lawman, Sheriff Joe "Que Pasa" Arpaio, and our resident foreign policy expert, Senator John "POW" McCain, R-Bitter Old Man, will continue to provide amusement to the rest of a grateful nation.
No matter who hosts it, the Academy Award show will be too long and tedious to be truly enjoyable.
The lack of good film roles for "women of a certain age (other than La Streep)" will be decried.
Hopefully Peter O'Toole will finish the third volume of his memoir, "Loitering With Intent". I heartily recommend the first two volumes, which are subtitled "The Child" and "The Apprentice", to anyone who loves acting, theatre, storytelling, or just good, often humorous, writing in a kind of Joycean stream of consciousness style.
Some religious nut will announce that the world will end at a certain time on a certain day. The world will not end, of course. But the nut will still have devoted followers, because there is never a shortage of fruit cakes in America.
Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Mrs. Franklin and I hope you and yours have a safe and Happy New Year's Eve. And that all of your teams cover the spread and your hangover isn't too awful.
Remember to hydrate. Trust me, it helps.
And don't drink and drive. That's a clown move, bro.
In 2013 we can expect more obstructionist nonsense from those super duper patriots in the Tea Party wing of the Republican nuthouse.
Once again President Obama will bend over backward to accommodate John Boehner in the misguided belief that Boehner can deliver Republican votes in the House. Unfortunately, the Republican House is still comprised of people like Louie Gohmert, Trent Franks, Darrell Issa, Paul Ryan, and Michele Bachmann. So, very little of substance will get done. And Boehner himself may be deposed by yet another empty suit.
We can hope for a ban on assault rifles and large capacity clips--but don't bet the farm on it.
The slaughter of the innocents will continue.
More attention will be paid to the antics of our pop singers and TV and movie stars than is healthy. Bread and circuses to keep the masses placated.
The Bilious, Bullying, Billionaires will continue their attack on Democracy, aided and abetted by most--but not all--of the corporate media--and a majority of the Supreme Court.
Fox "News" will find new ways to lie to the American people. Naturally, the people who listen to Fox will not notice this.
Mitt Romney, pere et fils, will continue to blame everyone and everything for his defeat--except for his own incompetence and his tired, incoherent ideas. But, of course, he didn't really want to be President anyway. So it all worked out well in the end.
The Dark Lord Cheney and his hateful spawn will attack the President for some reason or other.
No one but Fox News will care what the Dark Lord Cheney and his hateful spawn say.
George W. Bush, or Simple W if you prefer, will remain politically insignificant, just a bitter memory from an ugly past.
Chris Christie will start a diet and exercise program to get him in shape to lose to Hillary in 2016.
Arizona's politicians, including our pea brained Governor, Jan "Chuck Tell Me What To Do" Brewer, our criminally negligent lawman, Sheriff Joe "Que Pasa" Arpaio, and our resident foreign policy expert, Senator John "POW" McCain, R-Bitter Old Man, will continue to provide amusement to the rest of a grateful nation.
No matter who hosts it, the Academy Award show will be too long and tedious to be truly enjoyable.
The lack of good film roles for "women of a certain age (other than La Streep)" will be decried.
Hopefully Peter O'Toole will finish the third volume of his memoir, "Loitering With Intent". I heartily recommend the first two volumes, which are subtitled "The Child" and "The Apprentice", to anyone who loves acting, theatre, storytelling, or just good, often humorous, writing in a kind of Joycean stream of consciousness style.
Some religious nut will announce that the world will end at a certain time on a certain day. The world will not end, of course. But the nut will still have devoted followers, because there is never a shortage of fruit cakes in America.
Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Mrs. Franklin and I hope you and yours have a safe and Happy New Year's Eve. And that all of your teams cover the spread and your hangover isn't too awful.
Remember to hydrate. Trust me, it helps.
And don't drink and drive. That's a clown move, bro.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Jan Brewer Accidentally Tells The Truth
The New York Times, which should still be washing the blood off its hands for the part it played in ginning up the war with Iraq, recently wasted a page of its Sunday magazine with a Q&A with Jan "Chuck, Tell Me What To Do" Brewer, figurehead governor of Arizona.
The desiccated hag, who is the head cheerleader for the private prison industry (because Chuck told her what to do), wandered off from her handlers long enough to answer a few questions. Her answers were about what you'd expect from a pea brain, reactionary, political hack.
In short, and I'm paraphrasing, "guns good--more guns better", "Joe Arpaio good--Mexicans bad", "Obama petty with thin skin--me nice white lady" and so on, and so forth.
But in the midst of her predictable, semi-literate drivel she was quoted as saying the following:
"These madmen are going to find some way, somehow to create whatever it is they want to create."
Now, of course, like any good whack-job Republican, she was giving the party's rote answer about the futility of regulating guns.
But it seems to me she has come up with the perfect campaign slogan for Romney-Ryan, indeed for every Republican candidate everywhere.
The desiccated hag, who is the head cheerleader for the private prison industry (because Chuck told her what to do), wandered off from her handlers long enough to answer a few questions. Her answers were about what you'd expect from a pea brain, reactionary, political hack.
In short, and I'm paraphrasing, "guns good--more guns better", "Joe Arpaio good--Mexicans bad", "Obama petty with thin skin--me nice white lady" and so on, and so forth.
But in the midst of her predictable, semi-literate drivel she was quoted as saying the following:
"These madmen are going to find some way, somehow to create whatever it is they want to create."
Now, of course, like any good whack-job Republican, she was giving the party's rote answer about the futility of regulating guns.
But it seems to me she has come up with the perfect campaign slogan for Romney-Ryan, indeed for every Republican candidate everywhere.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Say What?
As I was driving from Starbucks to Starbucks the other day, searching for even the vaguest hint of consistency in their products, I heard someone on the radio talking about a "Republican outreach to minority voters." I tell you, I almost crashed.
Let's see. First you consistently, from day one, demonize the first black president by calling him all sorts of names: Marxist, un-American, anti-colonial Kenyan, socialist, non-American, the anti-Christ, American hating Muslim, etc. Your spiritual leader, Rush "Pig Boy" Limbaugh even mocks the First Lady's figure. Stay classy, Pig Boy.
Your mouth piece, Fox "News", attacks a teenage gymnast, who just happens to be black, calling her "unpatriotic" because of her leotard (!) and criticizing her hair (!).
Then there's the organized attempt at rampant voter suppression, including the various forms of what can only be called "poll taxes" being instituted by Republican controlled state legislatures, which is the only way the Republicans have a chance at winning this election.
Add to this the constant dog whistle catch phrases that make up most Republican rhetoric these days. You know, "welfare", "the food stamp President", "law and order" (the great Jimmy Breslin once wrote that "law and order" means only one thing to a certain kind of white voter: "Get the nigger!").
(I regret having to use that word, but that's what the man said, and he knows what he's talking about.)
Oh, and let's not forget George "Stand Your Ground" Zimmerman, poster boy for the Second Amendment.
And now you decide to reach out to African American voters? Amazing.
As for Latinos, the other important minority voting block, I have two words for our Republican friends: Joe Arpaio.
And how about a couple of letters and a number: SB1070.
But good luck with your outreach!
Let's see. First you consistently, from day one, demonize the first black president by calling him all sorts of names: Marxist, un-American, anti-colonial Kenyan, socialist, non-American, the anti-Christ, American hating Muslim, etc. Your spiritual leader, Rush "Pig Boy" Limbaugh even mocks the First Lady's figure. Stay classy, Pig Boy.
Your mouth piece, Fox "News", attacks a teenage gymnast, who just happens to be black, calling her "unpatriotic" because of her leotard (!) and criticizing her hair (!).
Then there's the organized attempt at rampant voter suppression, including the various forms of what can only be called "poll taxes" being instituted by Republican controlled state legislatures, which is the only way the Republicans have a chance at winning this election.
Add to this the constant dog whistle catch phrases that make up most Republican rhetoric these days. You know, "welfare", "the food stamp President", "law and order" (the great Jimmy Breslin once wrote that "law and order" means only one thing to a certain kind of white voter: "Get the nigger!").
(I regret having to use that word, but that's what the man said, and he knows what he's talking about.)
Oh, and let's not forget George "Stand Your Ground" Zimmerman, poster boy for the Second Amendment.
And now you decide to reach out to African American voters? Amazing.
As for Latinos, the other important minority voting block, I have two words for our Republican friends: Joe Arpaio.
And how about a couple of letters and a number: SB1070.
But good luck with your outreach!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
We Really Don't Care
Here in Arizona we really don't care that Sheriff Joe Arpaio is a cosmic joke. Civil liberties be damned, Sheriff Joe is protecting us from the rampaging hordes of dishwashers, gardeners, busboys, short order cooks, and all the rest of the low wage Mexican vampires that threaten to do, uh, something to Arizona's economy. Prop it up, maybe?
We also don't care that our illustrious governor, Jan "Chuck, tell me what to do!" Brewer, she of the wagging finger and perpetual fright mask, just appointed a man to run the State Parks Department who is, let us say, slightly under-qualified. By slightly, I mean he fit just 2 of the 7 criteria set forth by the search committee. He was, of course, chosen over someone who fit all 7. Because he had the one key qualification that trumped all the rest: he was buddies with the "Chuck" of "Chuck, tell me what to do!" But this had nothing to do with his being selected. How do we know this? 'Cause Chuck said so, and Chuck is an honorable man. Ha Ha Ha. When he isn't busy "helping" the governor, Chuck is a lobbyist for mining companies and for-profit-prisons. Ha Ha Ha again.
We certainly don't care that Brewer and her crew are doing everything they can to de-fund Planned Parenthood--despite the fact that Planned Parenthood was started in Arizona by Barry Goldwater's wife. You know, the Barry Goldwater? Mr. Arizona? The guy who used to be the patron saint for conservatives? Of course, compared to the nutjobs who call themselves "conservative" today, Barry Goldwater looks like Karl Marx.
We don't care that the state of Arizona is in a neck and neck race with Mississippi, Alabama and both the Carolinas to see who can be the most backwards. How low can you go? My money's on us.
Finally, we especially don't care that the Republicans have run the state legislature for the last 30 years or so. There is no provable correlation between this and the mess we find ourselves in. Besides, as we all know (say it with me now) "it's the liberals' fault"!
No, we really don't care. And so, we continue to elect a collection--did I say collection?--nay, a festering pile, of racists, hillbillies, flat-earthers, birthers, home schoolers, gun worshipers, Crazy Jesus Club members, out and out morons, and all-of-the-abovers. So, facts be damned, and full speed ahead!
We also don't care that our illustrious governor, Jan "Chuck, tell me what to do!" Brewer, she of the wagging finger and perpetual fright mask, just appointed a man to run the State Parks Department who is, let us say, slightly under-qualified. By slightly, I mean he fit just 2 of the 7 criteria set forth by the search committee. He was, of course, chosen over someone who fit all 7. Because he had the one key qualification that trumped all the rest: he was buddies with the "Chuck" of "Chuck, tell me what to do!" But this had nothing to do with his being selected. How do we know this? 'Cause Chuck said so, and Chuck is an honorable man. Ha Ha Ha. When he isn't busy "helping" the governor, Chuck is a lobbyist for mining companies and for-profit-prisons. Ha Ha Ha again.
We certainly don't care that Brewer and her crew are doing everything they can to de-fund Planned Parenthood--despite the fact that Planned Parenthood was started in Arizona by Barry Goldwater's wife. You know, the Barry Goldwater? Mr. Arizona? The guy who used to be the patron saint for conservatives? Of course, compared to the nutjobs who call themselves "conservative" today, Barry Goldwater looks like Karl Marx.
We don't care that the state of Arizona is in a neck and neck race with Mississippi, Alabama and both the Carolinas to see who can be the most backwards. How low can you go? My money's on us.
Finally, we especially don't care that the Republicans have run the state legislature for the last 30 years or so. There is no provable correlation between this and the mess we find ourselves in. Besides, as we all know (say it with me now) "it's the liberals' fault"!
No, we really don't care. And so, we continue to elect a collection--did I say collection?--nay, a festering pile, of racists, hillbillies, flat-earthers, birthers, home schoolers, gun worshipers, Crazy Jesus Club members, out and out morons, and all-of-the-abovers. So, facts be damned, and full speed ahead!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Welcome Wagon
This being Winter, though it would be hard to tell by the temperature, (Global Warming is another one of those liberal conspiracies, right? Like evolution and contraception and oh so many others), naturally my thoughts turn to all of the wonderful visitors, the so-called Sno-birds, who are the only thing keeping Arizona's economy afloat while we wait patiently for the next real estate boom to save us.
They are guests here, and we love them dearly. But our ways may be foreign to them. Therefore, an Arizona Primer:
Yes, we really do keep electing a collection of ignorant, short-sighted, hillbilly buffoons and yet we expect different results. We do this because we are a very religious people and we have FAITH. And because of our faith we are able to ignore the fact that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is one of the definitions of insanity. Besides, having a state government that makes the 3 Stooges look like a graduate level seminar at MIT is kind of fun!
Governor Jan "Chuck Tell Me What To Do" Brewer may look like a triumph of the embalmer's art, but she is indeed a living, breathing Arizona Republican. People voted for her--even after they heard her speak. She is in charge of this state. This proves we are the polar opposite of "elitists" who believe they should elect "intelligent" people.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio is not a performance artist. It only seems like Andy Kaufman has been reincarnated and given a shiny badge. In fact, Arpaio is a duly elected law enforcement officer. He has official duties that extend far beyond holding press conferences, harassing his political opponents, "investigating" the President's birth certificate, and rousting dishwashers. Really.
Finally, forget about those speed limit signs on the freeways. They mean nothing. A cherished part of our Wild West heritage involves disregarding those laws we dislike. Very, very rarely you may see someone pulled over by the Highway Patrol. These people have done something so unimaginably awful that it couldn't be ignored. So keep it under 100 mph and you'll be OK. To be safe, the timid souls amongst you should just stay in the right hand lane and you probably won't get hurt. Better yet, keep off the freeways entirely.
Enjoy your stay, and spend, spend, spend!
They are guests here, and we love them dearly. But our ways may be foreign to them. Therefore, an Arizona Primer:
Yes, we really do keep electing a collection of ignorant, short-sighted, hillbilly buffoons and yet we expect different results. We do this because we are a very religious people and we have FAITH. And because of our faith we are able to ignore the fact that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is one of the definitions of insanity. Besides, having a state government that makes the 3 Stooges look like a graduate level seminar at MIT is kind of fun!
Governor Jan "Chuck Tell Me What To Do" Brewer may look like a triumph of the embalmer's art, but she is indeed a living, breathing Arizona Republican. People voted for her--even after they heard her speak. She is in charge of this state. This proves we are the polar opposite of "elitists" who believe they should elect "intelligent" people.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio is not a performance artist. It only seems like Andy Kaufman has been reincarnated and given a shiny badge. In fact, Arpaio is a duly elected law enforcement officer. He has official duties that extend far beyond holding press conferences, harassing his political opponents, "investigating" the President's birth certificate, and rousting dishwashers. Really.
Finally, forget about those speed limit signs on the freeways. They mean nothing. A cherished part of our Wild West heritage involves disregarding those laws we dislike. Very, very rarely you may see someone pulled over by the Highway Patrol. These people have done something so unimaginably awful that it couldn't be ignored. So keep it under 100 mph and you'll be OK. To be safe, the timid souls amongst you should just stay in the right hand lane and you probably won't get hurt. Better yet, keep off the freeways entirely.
Enjoy your stay, and spend, spend, spend!
Friday, October 21, 2011
"I Don't Recall"
Joe Arpaio has been a blight on Arizona for more years than I can recall. His type of "get tough law enforcement" has cost the good folks of Maricopa County tens of millions of dollars in accidental death settlements for the "justice" carried out in his jails. He is a publicity whore without equal and, when you take a good hard look at the crime statistics, not really much of a cop.
But despite all of his indisputable failings, the desert hillbillies still love them some Sheriff Joe enough to keep re-electing him. Why? Because he has a big mouth and a flair for the kind of gestures that appeal to bitter, scared hayseeds. Gestures that demean and dehumanize anyone, guilty or not, who is unlucky enough to spend time in one of his facilities. Pink underwear? Check. Green baloney sandwiches? Check. Chain gangs? Check. Outdoor holding tents in the Phoenix summer? Check. Oh, and one more thing: They love Arpaio because he's gonna show them "Meskins" who's boss.
There may be dozens of meth labs scattered across the desert. There may be thousands of unserved warrants. There may be organized crime lurking in the shadows of some of our oldest establishments. And what does Joe choose to do? Raid restaurant kitchens. Our boy's a regular Eliot Ness, isn't he?
Or maybe J. Edgar Hoover is a better comparison. The FBI's fabled director wasted years harassing anyone on the political left, from Eleanor Roosevelt to Dalton Trumbo to Martin Luther King Jr. while completely ignoring the Mafia.
But now "America's toughest sheriff" has a tiny PR problem. Called to testify at the ethic's hearing of Andrew Thomas (yet another "law and order" Republican who should be behind bars), Arpaio used the old "I don't recall" defense so often it began to sound like sudden onset Alzheimer's.
Let's take a look at the scorecard: In addition to all of those wrongful death suits, he misused 100 million bucks entrusted to his office; many of his hand-picked underlings have serious legal problems of their own; and now he can't remember anything about how the county attorney's office came to bring criminal charges against a couple members of the county Board of Supervisors.
"I don't recall."
Of course none of this will matter to the desert hillbillies. They will continue to vote for their beloved Sheriff Joe, scourge of short order cooks, dishwashers, busboys, and gardeners everywhere--until he ends up getting thrown into one of his own jails. And even then I wouldn't count him out. Arizona voters are nothing if not loyal.
No, I'm afraid that Arpaio will be with us forever, like those other civilizational plagues, the cockroach and cancer.
It does have a nice ring to it, though: Joe "I don't recall" Arpaio.
And it'll look good on his headstone, too.
But despite all of his indisputable failings, the desert hillbillies still love them some Sheriff Joe enough to keep re-electing him. Why? Because he has a big mouth and a flair for the kind of gestures that appeal to bitter, scared hayseeds. Gestures that demean and dehumanize anyone, guilty or not, who is unlucky enough to spend time in one of his facilities. Pink underwear? Check. Green baloney sandwiches? Check. Chain gangs? Check. Outdoor holding tents in the Phoenix summer? Check. Oh, and one more thing: They love Arpaio because he's gonna show them "Meskins" who's boss.
There may be dozens of meth labs scattered across the desert. There may be thousands of unserved warrants. There may be organized crime lurking in the shadows of some of our oldest establishments. And what does Joe choose to do? Raid restaurant kitchens. Our boy's a regular Eliot Ness, isn't he?
Or maybe J. Edgar Hoover is a better comparison. The FBI's fabled director wasted years harassing anyone on the political left, from Eleanor Roosevelt to Dalton Trumbo to Martin Luther King Jr. while completely ignoring the Mafia.
But now "America's toughest sheriff" has a tiny PR problem. Called to testify at the ethic's hearing of Andrew Thomas (yet another "law and order" Republican who should be behind bars), Arpaio used the old "I don't recall" defense so often it began to sound like sudden onset Alzheimer's.
Let's take a look at the scorecard: In addition to all of those wrongful death suits, he misused 100 million bucks entrusted to his office; many of his hand-picked underlings have serious legal problems of their own; and now he can't remember anything about how the county attorney's office came to bring criminal charges against a couple members of the county Board of Supervisors.
"I don't recall."
Of course none of this will matter to the desert hillbillies. They will continue to vote for their beloved Sheriff Joe, scourge of short order cooks, dishwashers, busboys, and gardeners everywhere--until he ends up getting thrown into one of his own jails. And even then I wouldn't count him out. Arizona voters are nothing if not loyal.
No, I'm afraid that Arpaio will be with us forever, like those other civilizational plagues, the cockroach and cancer.
It does have a nice ring to it, though: Joe "I don't recall" Arpaio.
And it'll look good on his headstone, too.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Welcome Wagon
Le tout Phoenix is all abuzz with the rumor that Sarah Palin is buying a house in Scottsdale in preparation for a run at the the Senate seat Jon "Not Intended As A Factual Statement" Kyl is vacating. Be still my beating heart!!!
First things first: Sarah Palin doesn't know anything about Arizona or its problems. She might be able to find the state on a map. And then again she might not. But you can always hire someone to do that, right? The important thing is that she's Sarah Palin!! Good ideas don't matter, qualifications don't matter, intelligence certainly doesn't matter--remember this is Arizona.
Besides, these are trivial concerns, because even a well formed turd has a good shot at getting elected to the Senate from the Grand Canyon state IF they're a Republican. Why? Because the GOP has done so much for the people of Arizona! I mean, really, what an impressive list of accomplishments: always near the bottom in education; massive cuts to AHCCCS; laughable mass transit; institutionalized low wages; sold off the government buildings; closed the state parks; turned a corrupt tin badge blowhard, Joe Arpaio, into a demi-god; demonized the Mexicans; ostracized the poor; constantly vilified teachers while glorifying bankers; and on and on and on.
Of course, it's a time honored tradition in some circles to look for a seat that's open in a 'safe' district somewhere--anywhere--and then quickly establish residency in time to run for office. The sainted John "Maverick Is His Name" McCain did it many years ago. And I'm sure in a dark, musty dungeon somewhere there's a team of trusty GOP trolls just waiting to claim Robert Kennedy did exactly the same thing when he moved to New York to run for the Senate after leaving the Attorney General's office. (Kennedy comparisons are the Republican's automatic fallback position for everything, especially moral issues. References to Teddy and Chappaquiddick still bring shivers of joy to any true blue GOPer. However heinous the transgression of a Republican, the mere mention of "Chappaquiddick" washes away all sins. It's magic.)
Rest assured, however, if a Democratic carpetbagger showed up (and why any real Democrat without existing ties to Arizona would move to the state is beyond me), the locals would scream bloody murder and demand an investigation. I think the word I'm looking for is "hypocrite". But without the various kinds of hypocrisy there would be no modern Republican Party and then where would we be?
So welcome aboard the "You betcha-wink-wink" express...
First things first: Sarah Palin doesn't know anything about Arizona or its problems. She might be able to find the state on a map. And then again she might not. But you can always hire someone to do that, right? The important thing is that she's Sarah Palin!! Good ideas don't matter, qualifications don't matter, intelligence certainly doesn't matter--remember this is Arizona.
Besides, these are trivial concerns, because even a well formed turd has a good shot at getting elected to the Senate from the Grand Canyon state IF they're a Republican. Why? Because the GOP has done so much for the people of Arizona! I mean, really, what an impressive list of accomplishments: always near the bottom in education; massive cuts to AHCCCS; laughable mass transit; institutionalized low wages; sold off the government buildings; closed the state parks; turned a corrupt tin badge blowhard, Joe Arpaio, into a demi-god; demonized the Mexicans; ostracized the poor; constantly vilified teachers while glorifying bankers; and on and on and on.
Of course, it's a time honored tradition in some circles to look for a seat that's open in a 'safe' district somewhere--anywhere--and then quickly establish residency in time to run for office. The sainted John "Maverick Is His Name" McCain did it many years ago. And I'm sure in a dark, musty dungeon somewhere there's a team of trusty GOP trolls just waiting to claim Robert Kennedy did exactly the same thing when he moved to New York to run for the Senate after leaving the Attorney General's office. (Kennedy comparisons are the Republican's automatic fallback position for everything, especially moral issues. References to Teddy and Chappaquiddick still bring shivers of joy to any true blue GOPer. However heinous the transgression of a Republican, the mere mention of "Chappaquiddick" washes away all sins. It's magic.)
Rest assured, however, if a Democratic carpetbagger showed up (and why any real Democrat without existing ties to Arizona would move to the state is beyond me), the locals would scream bloody murder and demand an investigation. I think the word I'm looking for is "hypocrite". But without the various kinds of hypocrisy there would be no modern Republican Party and then where would we be?
So welcome aboard the "You betcha-wink-wink" express...
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