TOP SECRET: NSA Phone Intercept. 1.7.24 Moscow Station

(VP Kremlin direct line rings. Recording begins)

VP: Da?

DJT: Boss it's me.

VP: Who is "me"?

DJT: Donald

VP: (silence)

DJT: Your boy. Donald.

VP: I don't, uh, I don't recall any Donalds. You must have wrong number.

( call disconnects)

(VP Kremlin direct line rings)

VP: Hello?

DJT: Boss, we had a deal.

VP: Deal? 

DJT: Yes. Yes deal--

VP: What is this deal you say we had? 

DJT: You know, uh, our deal.

VP: No idea what you're talking about.

DJT: Boss, that's not funny.

VP: You know what's not funny? I will tell you. I put a lot of money into you and all your little friends over there. And what do I have to show for it? I will tell you. I have Ukrainian drones blowing up a lot of my stuff. I have sanctions freezing my money and my friends' money. I have NATO expanding while my armies are contracting, one corpse at a time. All in all I have royal pain in my ass.That's what I have to show for "our" deal.

DJT: But-

VP: I tell you, at this point all I can do for you is send some of my Mama's special tea. Old Russian recipe. Sip to your health.

DJT: But-

VP: Das vedanya.

DJT: (unintelligible)

VP: Bye bye.

(call ends)

(recording ends)

Indefensible

Sometimes, when you go to the zoo, if the apes and monkeys are angry, they will fling their feces at you. (For any Trump supporters out there, feces means shit.)

Often, that's all they can think of doing when they get really, really agitated.

I was reminded of this today while watching clips of the Republicans questioning three noted law professors regarding impeachment.

Since their Orange Pig God has indeed committed various impeachable offenses, despite their loud, incoherent, spittle flecked protestations to the contrary, their position is completely indefensible.

So, as their meager deflections and inane arguments fall apart, there is absolutely nothing left for them to do but to start throwing shit, like the lesser primates they so eerily resemble.

Soon the Russian trolls and bots will no doubt join in and begin trying to slander each of the distinguished legal scholars as out of touch elitists, much to the delight of the "real Americans" who are quite comfortable in their bottomless pit of ignorance.

This is no doubt entertaining for their Oinker in Chief and his army of brain dead idiots, including the yes men and women at Fox News.

But it sure reflects badly on what our nation has become. One of our two main political parties has been taken over by some sort of brain eating prion disease.

#SAD

Crooked As A Dog's Hind Leg*

They got Al Capone on income taxes.

He murdered people. He strong armed people. He bribed. He lied. He cheated. He stole.

But they got him on not paying his taxes.

Al Capone surrounded himself with criminals.

He was a crook, through and through. A very successful crook for many years.

But he wasn't, as far as I can tell, a traitor.

Donald J. Trump has also surrounded himself with crooks.

Unfortunately for Donald J., his crooks aren't nearly as competent as Capone's.

And apparently some of them aren't willing to take the fall for Donald's various crimes.

This must come as a shock to Trump, who has spent his entire adult life committing crimes of one kind or another.

And getting away with it. Either through bribery or intimidation or just shear dumb luck.

That's over.

He will be impeached. He may or may not be convicted by the Senate. Depends on whether or not a few Republicans grow a conscience and a spine.

Regarding the election of 2020, who knows? With the entire GOP determined to look away from Russian interference, we can only keep our fingers crossed about the outcome.

But that doesn't matter, really. The Trump brand, which is one of the only things Donald J. cares about, is over. There will only be a pile of ashes for his awful progeny to inherit--if they all aren't in jail, that is.

*"Crooked as a dog's hind leg" is how my late father-in-law described a certain East Valley politician with whom he was acquainted. It seems appropriate when discussing Donald J. Trump to use it.

At This Point, We Shouldn't Be Surprised By Anything He Does

Honestly, if you woke up tomorrow, and there were Russian tanks on Pennsylvania Avenue or Rodeo Drive, would you be surprised?

Shocked maybe. But surprised? Nah.

Sickened? Saddened? Sure.

But surprised? Probably not.

Certainly Moscow Mitch would be very happy, giddy even, and the Fox News' scum squad of Lil Tucker, Big Sean, Harpy Jeannie, and their supporting Geek Chorus would have a very good reason for why this was a great bit of diplomacy, indeed, a truly patriotic, thing. And besides, what about Obama's (fill in the blank)?

Or what if Traitor Don sold all of our Pacific territories to China for a package of magic (soy) beans? Again, shocked, but not surprised.

So, of course, Emperor Numbnuts tried to strong arm the Ukrainians to get dirt on Joe Biden's son.

If you think that's impossible, either you are a brain dead MAGAt, or you just haven't been paying attention for the last two and a half years.

Anyway, who are we to judge the actions of such a "stable genius"?

Besides, at this point, he's told so many lies and broken so many laws, what's one more?

Ya Get What Ya Paid For

So, Vlad "The Elector" Putin helped put Donald J. Trump in the White House.

Can we at least agree on that?

Good.

Now, the big question is, what does Vlad expect in return?

I'm betting it's a little more than semi-coherent tweets praising him.

Der Trump has already backed off on supporting the Ukraine.

And his Secretary of State is a decorated hero of the Russian Republic.

Next up?

Well, what about gutting NATO? Vlad would like that. Give him some breathing room.

And dismantling the European Union would certainly help Trump's Russian "friends".

Also, let's be sure to alienate our British allies.

(I'm betting that if you dug deeply enough into the whole Brexit thing you'd find some Russian money and Russian espionage on the pro-Brexit side.)

Frankly, there's no limit to the mayhem Putin's hand puppet might wreak on the world.

Tired of winning yet?

The Charge Of The Lightweight Brigade

Oh, what manly men they are!

William Kristol!

Lindsey Graham!

John McCain!

Charge for the guns they said!

(You go ahead...we'll be back here...watching...and cheering...)

Half a league, half a league, half a league onward!
 
Look, there's little Billy Kristol, son of the intellectual father of the neo-cons, Ur-chickenhawk, always on the lookout for ways to keep Israel safe for apartheid.

Right next to him is Lindsey "Belle of the South" Graham, who proudly served in the US Air Force and yet somehow never left South Carolina. No doubt he was keeping Charleston safe from the Iraqi hordes. Just like W. kept the bars of Texas safe from the Cong.

And in the lead, of course, is John "Maverick" McCain, who, and let's be honest now, has milked being a POW for 40 some years. He parlayed being captured into a seat in the House, then the Senate, and almost into the White House itself. Along the way he has somehow earned a reputation as a foreign policy 'expert'. Expert in his case is defined as being wrong about just about everything. But, fuck it, I guess we're all Ukrainians now, right John?

Some folks never tire of war. Indeed, the very idea of it makes them feel all warm and gooey inside.

Especially when they're not going to get their hands dirty fighting it.