The Lady...Or The Spoiled, Damaged Child

Based on who his parents were, it would be hard for Donald J. Trump to be anything but a spoiled, damaged child.

His father was a racist, sociopathic, mobbed up crook. 

His mother apparently had no interest in being a mother. Or at least no discenible mothering skills.

Throw in Roy Cohn, certainly a contender for worst Americans ever, as a mentor, and the outcome was set.

So...Donald turned out pretty much as one would expect. "The apple", as they say, "doesn't fall very far from the tree."

If he hadn't inherited all that money, cheating his siblings in the process, he would've ended up in a trailer, down by the river. The sort of person good parents would warn their children to avoid.

In a sane world, this wouldn't be anyone's problem--except his immediate family and anyone stupid enough to do business with him.

But, as you may have noticed, this is not a sane world, and there are millions of people who literally worship that pile of Orange Bile.

Rapist, tax fraud, business cheat, adulterer, bully, Putin's puppet, traitor, all wrapped in a smelly package that is rapidly sinking into dementia.

None of that seems to matter to his disciples.

Or to the vile advisors he surrounds himself with. The Project 2025 scum. The people who choose his judges for him. The Libertarian billionaires, especially little Elon Musk. All of them couldn't care less about the majority of our citizens. They care, without exception, for their bank accounts, or their ridiculous religious beliefs, or their deluded views of our history, or their enormous egos. Or maybe just for the blinding whiteness of their skin. They're all committed to using him to get what they want.

Not what's good for the people. What's good for them. The people be damned.

Fortunately, I believe that there are more good people in this country than there are MAGAts.

At least, I hope so.

It's either President Harris, or the end of the American experiment.

It's just that simple.

 

At This Point, We Shouldn't Be Surprised By Anything He Does

Honestly, if you woke up tomorrow, and there were Russian tanks on Pennsylvania Avenue or Rodeo Drive, would you be surprised?

Shocked maybe. But surprised? Nah.

Sickened? Saddened? Sure.

But surprised? Probably not.

Certainly Moscow Mitch would be very happy, giddy even, and the Fox News' scum squad of Lil Tucker, Big Sean, Harpy Jeannie, and their supporting Geek Chorus would have a very good reason for why this was a great bit of diplomacy, indeed, a truly patriotic, thing. And besides, what about Obama's (fill in the blank)?

Or what if Traitor Don sold all of our Pacific territories to China for a package of magic (soy) beans? Again, shocked, but not surprised.

So, of course, Emperor Numbnuts tried to strong arm the Ukrainians to get dirt on Joe Biden's son.

If you think that's impossible, either you are a brain dead MAGAt, or you just haven't been paying attention for the last two and a half years.

Anyway, who are we to judge the actions of such a "stable genius"?

Besides, at this point, he's told so many lies and broken so many laws, what's one more?

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Idiot

So the story comes out that we had to pull an "asset" (spy) out of Russia because our intelligence agencies thought he or she would be endangered because of a) Donald J. Trump's big mouth and/or b) Donald J. Trump's uncomfortable chumminess, let's call it a full blown crush, with Vladimir Putin

If Trump isn't a treasonous stooge for the Russians, and nothing he's said or done would convince anyone with a functioning brain otherwise, he's simply too fucking stupid to be trusted with our state secrets.

Think about that for just a second...

John le Carre has written a lot of really entertaining books about espionage. From Alec Leamas, in The Spy Who Came In From The Cold, through all of the George Smiley books, and on until today, they are the ne plus ultra of spy stories, their verisimilitude founded on le Carre's MI-6 background.

And in not one of them will you find a character as stupid as Donald J. Trump.

Because nobody would believe a fictional character as stupid as Donald J. Trump.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One....Part 2

An idiot walks into a NATO summit...

An idiot tries to "fix" health care...

An idiot starts a trade war...

An idiot insults all of our allies...

An idiot kisses up to any dictator who smiles at him...

An idiot separates children from their parents, with no plan for re-uniting them...

An idiot shits all over the Constitution while stuffing his own pockets...

An idiot appoints bunglers, fools, racists, crooks, and corporate whores to help him "run" the government...

An idiot...(fill in the blank)

Are All Republicans Traitors?

Or just most?

Are they all racists?

Or just most?

Here's the deal, and it's not that complicated: If you support a racist--You are a racist. And there is really no need to argue about it.

Oh, you can pretend that you aren't. Maybe even convince yourself and your like minded friends.

Doesn't change what you are.

If you support a traitor--You are a traitor, too.

So, forget all of that blah blah blah nonsense about "populism" and "white working class angst" and Making America Great Again.

Pure camouflage. Pure horse shit.

People that still support Donald J. Trump are racist traitors.

Now, maybe not all Republicans are racist traitors.

But the ones who aren't better find a spine and a little bit of moral courage and start speaking the fuck up.

Or they might as well be.

Why Are You So Afraid Of Russians?

This will take a little getting used to...

See, we've never had a President, or #FakePresident in this case, who was scared shitless of Russia.

Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, the fraud Reagan, Clinton, both Bush's, Obama--even dear Jimmy Carter, who is usually depicted by the Right as a weakling, all of them stood up to Mother Russia, when necessary.

But not Donald J. Trump. He just can't summon the necessary backbone.

That's right, the Commander-in-Chief of the strongest military the world has ever seen, and the most economically powerful nation the world has ever seen, gets all wobbly kneed when it comes to Russia.

Talk about a snowflake...

The White House is currently occupied by a pustule in an ill fitting blue suit, with a clownish red tie hanging down to his dimpled, flabby thighs, who positively melts when it come to Vladimir Putin, that two bit gangster, and his country of kleptocratic billionaires and scared serfs.

So, the $64,000 question is "WHY?"

What does your boyfriend Vlad have on you, Donnie?

Millions And Millions Of Imbeciles

Even after all of it, the non-stop lying, the wall to wall incompetence, the corruption, the racism, the beyond the pale behavior, the rampant egoism, the sexism, the general grossness, the Nazi coddling, the pornstar payoff--did I mention the wall to wall incompetence?

Even after all of that, there are still apparently millions of Americans who think that Donald J. Trump, the Flaming Orange Anus himself, aka the Racist in Chief, aka Putin's Boy Toy, is doing a good job as President. Make that a great job!

What this means is that there are millions and millions of imbeciles in this great land of ours.

If you don't believe me, try reading the letters to the editor of the Arizona Republic some time...

They may look like us. They may sound like us. They may enjoy some of the same things we do. Hell, you might even be related to some of them.

But they're still fucking imbeciles.

Since the Russian rigged election of 2016, there have been countless "think" pieces detailing how the Democrats should reach out to these "forgotten" voters. Listen to them. Make nice. Feel their pain.

No way. Fuck 'em! They are a loud, bitter, ignorant minority. 

They are deeply stupid and you can't change deep stupidity. It's too ingrained. Don't waste your time.

Better to let them stew in their ignorance.

After all, they obviously revel in it. Like pigs in slop.

The 200 Year Old Racist

Once and for all, Donald J. Trump is as healthy as any obese, pasty, intellectually incurious, septuagenarian who eats junk food all day, and whose idea of exercise is to either ride around in a golf cart, or sit on the toilet tweeting, has ever been.

He has excellent cognitive skills, too. (insert laughter here)

And he has "incredible genes".

(Have you ever had your genes examined during your physical? Me neither. In fact, I'm very interested in how that would even be done by an MD.)

The man is a fucking medical wonder, I tells ya!

And he has a doctor's note to prove it.

So that should settle that, huh?

After all, who you gonna believe, his doctor or your lyin' eyes and all the evidence to the contrary?

It Takes A Village To Keep An Idiot From Burning Down The Village

There he stands, The Pussy Grabber in Chief.

In one hand, a can of gasoline. In the other a lighter that he's still figuring out how to use.

And all around him, people are trying to distract him with whatever shiny objects they can find.

Like a baby.

This baby is your President. You probably didn't vote for him. The majority didn't, after all. But there are millions of your fellow Americans who did, and a large number of those still support him, despite all of his catastrophically inept actions, despite all of his disgusting behavior. Because he hates the same people they hate. And some people enjoy hating more than they enjoy anything else.

So, somebody please shake a rattle. Somebody make a silly face. Somebody coo at the baby, for Christ's sake! Because he still has the gasoline and the lighter. And sooner or later he will figure out how the latter works.

See, this is why you don't elect a person who doesn't know anything about politics or the world in general. And has no interest, or capacity, for learning. Why should he, what with his superior genes and his "good" brain?

The world is a very complicated place. And an imbecile really isn't equipped to deal with all of the complications.

No, an imbecile would rather just watch the pretty flames as things burn.

Another Page From The Diary Of V. Putin

Codename Numbnuts has been a major disappointment.

He does not seem to understand how to deal with, oh, let's call them "issues".

If I have "issue" with someone, then someone sips tea and dies of "natural causes". Simple.

How hard is this to understand?

If Codename Numbnuts has "issues" he tweets.

He tweets!

This is not way to deal with "issues".

Oi yoi yoi.

What have I gotten myself into here?

This whole thing is turning out to be much more trouble than it is worth.

He takes our money and what do we get in return? Nothing!

What is word? "Bupkis" We get a lot of bupkis from this son of a bitch.

Codename Numbnuts does not seem to understand, I don't need him.

Let me repeat: I don't need him.

He will find this out shortly.

He will not be happy.

Maybe he will tweet about it.

Ya Get What Ya Paid For

So, Vlad "The Elector" Putin helped put Donald J. Trump in the White House.

Can we at least agree on that?

Good.

Now, the big question is, what does Vlad expect in return?

I'm betting it's a little more than semi-coherent tweets praising him.

Der Trump has already backed off on supporting the Ukraine.

And his Secretary of State is a decorated hero of the Russian Republic.

Next up?

Well, what about gutting NATO? Vlad would like that. Give him some breathing room.

And dismantling the European Union would certainly help Trump's Russian "friends".

Also, let's be sure to alienate our British allies.

(I'm betting that if you dug deeply enough into the whole Brexit thing you'd find some Russian money and Russian espionage on the pro-Brexit side.)

Frankly, there's no limit to the mayhem Putin's hand puppet might wreak on the world.

Tired of winning yet?

The World's Most Dangerous Ego Trip

Have you seen the Orange One lately?

He has a look on his bloated face that screams "What The Fuck Have I Done? Get Me Out Of Here!"

To say he is in over his head is to put it mildly.

He does not have a clue.

What one might charitably call his "business career" has been built entirely on demands and threats.

He may think he is a dictator. But he is not. What he is is a petulant child, trapped in the decaying body of a senior citizen.

So he will bluster and tweet, looking for enemies, taking umbrage at the slightest hint that he is, uh, what's the word? Oh yes, Incompetent, with a capital I.

He would never acknowledge that, of course.

He has a tremendous respect for his big brain.

Unfortunately, believing you have a "big brain" is not the same thing as having a big brain.

And the damage he and his unbound ego will do is immeasurable.

I don't know how you feel about the whole concept of karma.

But if there's anything to it, anything at all, Donald J. Trump will be facing a hurricane shitstorm of bad karma for the rest of his worthless life.

So, at least we have that to look forward to.

Another Page From The Diary of V. Putin

What have I gotten myself into here?

Sure, it sounded like, how you say, good deal.

Win or lose, this Trump helps undermine that Clinton woman. So we support this Trump even though no one can conceive of circus clown actually winning. That doesn't matter, though.

Because he will weaken Clinton woman, and make her Presidency less successful.

What happens next is still stunning to me.

Circus Clown wins!

Which is....I don't know....I still don't know.

But always have fall back position. I learned this at KGB school. And fall back position is that "Hey Trump, we helped elect you as Americanski President and now you do our bidding. Or else."

Why 'or else'? Because we know everything about him. Everything. Every little thing. Ha! And this is key, he owes us money. Much money. Much more money than he can ever repay. Simple, da?

No wars. No shootings. No breaking treasury with arms race.

Nyet. Just one day Americanski wake up from opioid induced stupor and Russian stooge is in White House.

Surprise!

Good joke, no?

But as old Russian saying tells us: be careful what you wish for.

Let me tell you something, dear diary: I read all the "fake news" I can get. Pravda. You know, "truth"? And I cannot believe what it is that I am reading. No sane man acts this way.

If I wasn't at heart godless communist I would say "Jesus Christ! What is this idiot doing?"

This is not the kind of instability I was hoping for.

So, we will, we must, find solution...

Tips For Foreign Leaders Meeting Trump For The First Time

1. Try not to laugh.

2. Don't expect to understand what he's saying. No one does.

3. Don't panic. That's the way he shakes hands with everyone.

4. Try not to laugh.

5. Just when you think he's done talking, he will start up again on a completely unrelated topic. So don't interrupt.

6. It will seem like time has stopped and you are trapped in some sort of Bizarro Hell. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Repeat.

7. Try not to laugh.

8. Even when he says something that sounds hilarious to you, always remember that he has no sense of humor, and these are not attempts at humor. He is being, in his mind, "Presidential".

9. Please don't stare at his tiny, childlike hands. He's very sensitive about them.

10. Focus on something pleasant. Puppies. Kittens. Ice cream. Puppies and kittens eating ice cream. That sort of thing.

11. Feel free to let your mind wander. His certainly does. Like the song says, "turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream."

12. Try not to laugh.

They Still Don't Care

It should be apparent to all but the dullest amongst us that Donald J. Trump is a foolish buffoon.

A stunted, spoiled, manchild oaf, he governs by tantrum and whim. And lie upon lie.

But the people who voted for him still don't care.

The pivot back to sane, responsible, intelligent, adult behavior that was supposed to happen, never happened. It never will happen. Simply because it can't happen. He is not capable of sane, responsible, intelligent, adult, behavior.

But the people who voted for him still don't care.

He worries about the plight of working class people about as much as a pig worries about particle physics.

He has larded his White House with Goldman Sachs lackeys--just as he warned us Mrs. Clinton would. But it's OK because he's a "successful" white male. Not a woman. Not black. So, it's all good.
Except that it isn't. What it is, is rampant kleptocracy and a systematic dismantling of 100 plus years of progress.

But the people who voted for him still don't care.

He surrounds himself with white nationalists, nut job generals, serial liars, and billionaire grifters. Literally the scum of the earth.

He is quite probably a traitor to everything but money and his own deluded ego. A stooge, in hock to Putin and God knows who else.

But the people who voted for him still don't care.

And so, all those Trump banner waving simpletons who roared as he promised to Make America Great Again, who frothed at the mouth as they chanted "lock her up", those pea brains who were dead certain that they were being fucked over by "the liberals" and that black man, blinded by racism and stupidity, are about to be really fucked over by the Clown in Chief.

 But the people who voted for him still don't care.

Spineless

In case you were hoping that Senator John "Maverick" McCain would be man enough to stand up to the Liar In Chief...

Uh...no.

Oh, he'll glower and shout and threaten and get a lot of media attention. That is, after all, what he does. All he does. But when it comes right down to it, he will fold.

Because the senior Senator from the state of Arizona is spineless.

Remember way back in 2000 when the Bush campaign slandered him in South Carolina?

What'd he do?

Well, fell in line, of course!

Spineless.

When the Bushies Swift Boated John Kerry, an actual bona fide hero, in 2004?

After some initial grumbling, our professional POW blamed Kerry for bringing the attacks on himself.

Spineless.

Now we have someone in the White House who shit all over Johnny Mac's war record. Loudly and publicly. Someone who is so close to being a traitor that you can smell it on him. Someone who worships Vladimir Putin like an abused whore worships her pimp.

Someone who has nominated another Putin boy toy to be Secretary of State.

So, what does Senator John McCain do?

Well, he's going to vote "yes" for Rex Tillerson, of course!

Like I said.

Spineless.

The leader of his party is a serial liar. A Russian stooge. A sexist, xenophobic, immature, unstable punk. A fan of torture.

But don't expect Senator John McCain to challenge much of what he does.

Party loyalty always comes first when you're spineless.

Welcome To The World Of "Alternative Facts"

Being able to lie with a straight face is a skill.

Maybe even an art form.

Frankly, Kellyanne Conway should be better at it by now.

After all, she's been at the feet of a master for months.

Of course, none of this will matter to the Trump "true" believers.

By this point, they are well beyond redemption. They have sold what passes for their souls for a few magic beans and a boatload of empty promises.

But it should matter a great deal to the majority of Americans--who did not vote for Trump and do not support him.

Other Names For The Trump, Uh, Illegitimacy

Don't know about you, but calling him Mr. President just doesn't sit well with me.

So, we will need to come up with synonyms.

I really do prefer Flaming Orange Anus, but I realize that some folks have delicate sensibilities, or perhaps a fondness for anuses, and so there must be other options:

Putin's Punk

Russia's Stooge

His Multiple Bankruptness

The Gold Plated Fraud

Mr. Almost Three Million Votes Less Than Hillary

Shit Fer Brains

The Royal Combover

Ass Trump-ette

King Of The Know Nothings

Mr. Bought And Paid For

Captain Oblivious

Tiny

Tax Fraud In Chief

The Midnight Tweeter

Behold, A Conflict Of Interest Made Flesh

Mr. Makes George W. Bush Look Like Lincoln

Admiral Of The Fleeced

Hitler Lite

A Yooge Fucking Mistake That Might Get Us All Killed

His Problems Are Now Our Problems. All Of Them.

Let's start with something simple: that blue suit that he's been wearing since last summer--seemingly without having it cleaned or pressed.

Guy who purports to be soooooo RICH and he can't afford a suit that fits better? Sure.

Just because you're a bloated, flabby, gaseous toad doesn't mean you can't find a good tailor.

Billionaires don't generally dress like door to door toupee salesmen. Real billionaires, that is. Even those creepy Silicon Valley libertarian twats can pull together a respectable look.

While we're talking about The Orange One's Wealth, how many other "billionaires" can you think of who plaster their name on nickel and dime items? Steaks? Neckties from China? Christmas ornaments? New Year's Eve parties? Really?

And how come no major American banks will lend to him? Cuz he's such a "successful" negotiator?

All those foreign "lenders" that Big Boy has had to rely on to stay afloat--Deutsche Bank, the Chinese, Russian Mafia, whatever--will want something in return for their silence about Der Trumps' real financial situation.

To say the least, it will be very strange to have a President in hock to so many foreigners.

Now that the entrepreneurial triumph known as Trump University has been sent to history's ash bin, what about all those other lawsuits, 30 or so, wasn't it, that he still needs to deal with?  Probably all groundless, nuisance suits, huh?

Then there's his attention span, or rather his attention deficit disorder.

There might be, and admittedly I'm guessing here, but there might be a few issues that come up that require more than a ungrammatical, misspelled tweet to deal with. (You'd think someone with such a big, good brain would be better at something tweens master in a morning.)

#tweetyourwayoutofthisonemotherfucker

Finally, when Big Boy dies--sooner rather than later, one hopes--who's getting stuck with all that debt he's so proudly accumulated?  I'm guessing Tiffany.

The Circus Comes To Town

My God, look at all the clowns!

John Bolton! Steve Bannon! Kellyanne Conway! Jeff Sessions! Michael Flynn! Ben Carson! Newt Gingrich! Rudy Guiliani! Tom Cotton! Mike Pence! Rick Perry! Steve King! Sarah Palin! Jan Brewer! Rex Tillerson and all those interchangeable, pasty billionaires! On and on, it never ends!

A freak show of mis-governance, a huge accident just waiting to happen, a national tragedy about to unfold!

Vladimir Putin proudly presents a Theocratic Kleptocracy for the Ages!

Look at the ringmaster marionette, with his orange skin and fright wig! Amazingly lifelike!

Smell that?

That's elephant shit.

Step right up folks and dive in!