Welcome To The Republican's Big Tent!

Hello!

Person of color? Gosh, how did you get in here? I mean, are you sure this is where you want to be? Really?

Billionaire? Thanks for coming! That big table up front is reserved just for you!

Female? In the back, please.

Gay? "Closeted" or "out"? "Closeted" sit near the front. "Out" please get to the back, by the women.

Idiot? We certainly need as many of you as we can get!  The more the merrier, in fact! But don't sit too near the billionaires. It bothers them. They're very sensitive.

Homophobe? See those idiots over there? That's right. Sit with them.

Rapist? Hmmm. Who did you rape, male or female? Female? Over here. Male? Uh, gee. Over there I guess. With the clergy.

Criminal? White collar? Sit near the billionaires. Other crimes? Wherever there's an open seat. Remember to mingle.

Racist? Sit wherever you want! That goes for you, too, gun nuts and fundamentalists.

But please save some seats for our Russian friends. After all, they paid for most of this.

Another Brief Memo To The Republican Party About 2016

Another Bush?!  Rand Paul? Rick Perry? Scott Walker? Marco Rubio? Ted Cruz? Chris Christie? (Shudder)

Hey Guys! It's not your candidates, though face it, they are, almost without exception, loathsome, demi-humans.

It's your stupid shit, ante-bellum, anti-women, anti-gay, anti-minority, anti-workers, anti-sanity, anti-environment policies.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mention this because I care about the future of the Republican Party.

Fuck the Republican Party. Seriously.

No, I mention this because every single thing you do is just so aesthetically unpleasing. It harshes my mellow.

Anyway, I know you won't listen because, despite your overall awfulness, you'll still pull in the hillbilly, racist, homophobe, misogynist, free market, Ayn Rand, Luddite, Creationist, Bible thumpin', regressive, gun lovin', mouth breathing, brain dead, xenophobe dipshit vote.

You know, the Big Tent.

Plus, whatever the failings of your candidates, you can always count on handouts from the vile billionaire Koch brothers and their ilk, who collect and trade Republicans like kids with YuGiOh cards. To re-purpose an old Churchill (or perhaps GB Shaw) quote: "We've already determined what you are. Now we're just haggling about the price."

So hey, never mind. Keep up the good work!

Night Of The Living Dead

Honestly, I thought Ed Meese was dead.

But no! He's alive and kicking, part of the blood sucking cabal that planned the Tea Party shutdown of the U.S. government.

You know that old saying, "you can't keep a good man down"?

Well, that doesn't apply here.

Let's be clear about something: Ed Meese was a right wing piece o'shit when he was in the Reagan administration and he's a right wing piece o'shit now.

One thing you can say about the Republican Party: no matter how discredited you may be, how mendacious, how wrong headed your policy, how despicable the crimes you've committed, how hateful and backward you are, or how just plain evil you may be, they'll always have a place for you.

I guess that's what they mean by "The Big Tent".