My Favorite Time Of Year

I think this may be my favorite time of year.

Baseball is getting down to the nut cracking, the weather has heated up enough to send most of the Phoenix snowbirds back to wherever they came from (less awful drivers to deal with--although there are still more than enough full time residents who don't have a fucking clue), and, (this is what makes it really special), hurricane and tornado season is in full bloom

This means that soon we will hear the desperate pleadings of all the anti-government yahoos that live in hellholes like Tornado Alley, the redder parts of Texas, and the entire state of Florida, desperately begging for FEMA to save their asses.

You know who I'm talking about. The "I don't want to pay taxes to support no goddamn safety net for welfare queens, I want the gubmint off my back, no one ever helped me, blah blah blah" crowd. The kind of folks who vote for the likes of Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, Kevin Stitt, etc etc etc.

And, since almost every Red State contributes less to the U.S. Treasury than they take out, it will be the Blue States that rescue them. 

Again.

They will gladly take the Big Government help --and the money--all while ignoring where it comes from and fervently denying Climate Change exists.

It's a beautiful thing.

Seriously, How Hard Is It To Condemn Nazis?

You would think that this is a no-brainer.

And, since it requires literally "no brain", it should be right up the Republicans' alley.

Alas, you would be wrong. Terribly wrong.

Nazis, who sane people recognize as the worst humanity has to offer, are marching all over Florida, a state with a Republican governor, two Republican U.S. Senators, and a majority of Republican U.S. Representatives.

None of whom can even pretend to be morally offended by this.

Let us be clear on this: people who don't condemn Nazis, loudly and repeatedly, are shit stains.

Of course, this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. 

After all, Governor Ron DeSantis has single-handedly reduced the entire education system of Florida, from pre-K to University, into a fucking sick joke. Senator Rick Scott still holds the record for Medicare fraud, Senator Marco Rubio, who at one time seriously thought he could be President (hold for laughter) needs help drinking from a small water bottle, and the state's most famous Congressman is Matt Gaetz. Uh huh.

Shit stains all.

Honestly, it doesn't take a lot of sense or courage to denounce Nazis. 

However, it does take a bit of human decency, which is obviously more than any of them have.

To be fair, Nazis are still a reliable Republican voting block, so this could simply be a case of not wanting to offend your base.

Some Stuff I Learned From Republicans

Apparently, slavery was kinda like an internship. You didn't get paid--but you learned a lot of very valuable skills. And the raping, tearing apart of families, senseless brutality, selling off of your children, constant threat of death for offending your "masters" were WORTH it. Plus, you got room and board, in addition to the skills you were learning. 

And you could take these skills with you when you left the plantation. But you couldn't leave the plantation except by dying, or being sold to another plantation, or trying to run away to a free state--except they'd hunt you down, even in a free state, because the Supreme Court said that was OK! But the point is,  if you could have gotten away from that HELL ON EARTH, you'd have a very nice set of marketable skills. So stop complaining. And try to be just a little grateful.

Lying, cheating, and stealing are OK--if a Republican does it.

It's impossible for a Republican to commit treason. And if they do, well, that's OK too.

Any money is good money, never mind the source. In fact, never mention the source, if you can avoid it.

Nazis aren't that bad. Not really. No, what they are is a reliable bloc of conservative votes.

Vladimir Putin is a great man. A strong man. A manly man.

Drag queens are much more dangerous than automatic weapons.

Global Warming is a myth. Those 30 days of 110 degrees or more weather in Phoenix, Arizona are just a little thing called Summer. This is perfectly normal.

Women are primarily breeding stock.

Donald J. Trump is a good business man.

Donald J. Trump is a good Christian.

Donald J. Trump is a patriot.

Democrats raise children--or steal them--for their blood.

January 6th was just a normal Capitol tour that got a little out of hand.

Low information voters are the best voters.

I'm Beginning To Doubt The Value Of An Ivy League Education

Herein follows an incomplete list of Ivy League graduates that have recently served, or are currently serving, in our government:

(Some went to Harvard, some to Yale, a few to Princeton, and several went to two of the three.)

Ted Cruz, asshole Senator from Texas.

Tom Cotton, asshole Senator from Arkansas.

Ben Sasse, asshole Senator from Nebraska. 

Ron DeSantis, criminal Governor of Florida.

Mike Pompeo, Wilbur Ross, Elaine Chao, Steve Mnuchin, proud members of the "former guy's" Cabinet. All corrupt in different ways. (Der Trumpo himself went to grad school at Penn's Wharton School, where he was described by one of his professors as "the dumbest goddamn student I ever had.")

Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, and Brett Kavanaugh, justices of the Supreme Court, and blights on the very idea of the Law.

Of course we must not ever forget Simple W, (George W. Bush) and the Dark Lord (Dick Cheney), those draft dodging war mongers who gave us the multi-trillion dollar sinkhole that is Iraq.

And, just for nostalgia's sake, J. Fife Symington, former Governor of Arizona, whom, when caught in some legal trouble, defended himself by saying, essentially, "they should have known I was lying."

I suppose it's really very simple:

If you went into the Ivy League as a complete asshole, chances are you will come out as a complete asshole, too.

Even the best schools can't fix that.