"The Nearest Run Thing You Ever Saw In Your LIfe"

The title of this post is a quote from the Duke of Wellington about the Battle of Waterloo.

I take it to mean that, if one or two minor things had or hadn't happened, Napoleon would have won.

And the history of Europe would have been very different.

The margin for error was just that thin. 

The more we learn about the January 6th insurrection, the more clearly we see that it was also a "nearest run thing."

You might think that a lifetime of bankruptcies, business failures, divorces, and indictments would have taught Donald J. Trump how to accept defeat. 

Au contraire. 

The King of the MAGAts had a plan to overturn the election. A 6 point plan, put together by the kind of lawyers that attach themselves to people like Donald J. Trump, i.e. the sleaziest kind.

And, if one or two things had gone his way...

Our democracy is just that fragile. 

The Founders anticipated many things.  They did not anticipate something like Donald J. Trump, with a hand picked Supreme Court, and a political party so afraid of him that it would be willing to trash the Constitution just to keep him happy.

By the way, Mike Pence really deserves no credit for ultimately not going along with the plan. He searched and searched and searched for a way to do what his Master wanted.

Finally, apparently after consulting with another half-wit Hoosier former Veep, he did the right thing, the only thing he legally could do.

(And, naturally, was then threatened with death by Traitor Don's traitorous followers.)

When the fate of your democracy rests on the Constitutional wisdom of Dan Quayle, you have truly dodged a bullet.

Amy Coney Barrett Orders An Ice Cream Cone

Clerk: Yes ma'am?

ACB: I would like to order an ice cream.

Clerk: Yes ma'am. What flavor?

ACB: So many to choose from.

Clerk: Yes there are. But you must have a favorite. 

ACB: At this time I am not prepared to offer an opinion. 

Clerk: But--

ACB: Each flavor must be judged individually, based on the original intention of its maker.

Clerk: What?

ACB: I cannot announce any choice that I might or might not make regarding any, or for that matter, all ice creams, until I have weighed the intent.

Clerk: Uh huh. You must have a favorite, though. 

ACB: Whether I do, or don't, cannot be determined until such time as I am confronted with arguments from all sides.

Clerk: Arguments? It's just ice cream, lady. Surely you have a--

ACB: I have no preconceptions regarding any flavor of ice cream. I just want to adhere to the original intent of the ice cream makers.

Clerk: Uh huh. "The original intent of the ice cream makers." I haven't heard that one before.

ACB: I believe that it is impossible for any person of reason to choose anything without understanding its makers' original intent.

Clerk: I'm pretty sure they just wanted to make something that tastes good that people will like.

ACB: And what is your source for that belief?

Clerk: Just a wild guess. Maybe if we just narrowed it down to vanilla and chocolate?

ACB: Fine flavors both. There is established precedent for both.

Clerk: Good. We're making progress. How about a scoop of creamy, snow white Vanilla?

ACB: I would never choose, or not choose, an ice cream based on color. That would be wrong.

Clerk: OK. A scoop of rich, dark Chocolate then?

ACB: Hmm. I don't know. There are merits to both. And demerits as well. Until I have further information, from all available sources, I'm afraid I must delay announcing my decision.

Clerk: Next in line, please!

Profiles In, Uh, Whatever

Jeff Flake, who desperately wants to be a "hero", but doesn't really have the stones for that sort of thing, and thinks he has some sort of future in Presidential politics (normally I'd say 'insert raucous laughter here', but Jesus Christ, look at what's in the White House now!), will occasionally "pretend" to be opposing Republican Party policies in some "brave" way and for some "noble" reason.

So it is with his Brett Kavanaugh posturing.

Do not be fooled.

Jeff Flake is just another Republican hack, trying to act like a "patriot" while stuffing his pockets with as much corporate money as he can, and voting with the Traitor in Chief almost ALL OF THE TIME.

Does Arizona grow any other kind of Republicans?

No. It does not.

Does America grow any other kind of Republicans?

No. Not anymore.

Some Thoughts On The Death Of Antonin Scalia

Whoopee! Good! About time!

What's that? Oh, don't speak ill of the dead, is it?

That's not really a rule, though.

It's more like a guideline. And besides, it's not in the Constitution, and we all know what a strict original intent guy Nino was...so...

Besides, when a true rat bastard prick passes, all the rules and guidelines go out the window.

Don't worry. There will be rivers of tear filled epitaphs from the usual conservative suspects.

About how wise he was, and what a defender of the "true meaning" of the Constitution.

Somehow, in all his "wisdom", he almost always managed to rule for the powerful against the weak.

Gosh, what are the odds of that happening?

The man was a bigoted SOB, but at least he knew which side his bread was buttered on.

Whatever brilliance he may have possessed, and that's open to debate, was seldom used for the good
of the majority.

He and his like minded brethren on the Supreme Court have done more to harm this country than any other justices in our history.

So, fuck Antonin Scalia.

Gee, that seems a little harsh, so for the sensitive religious types among you, how about burn in Hell, Nino...

For eternity...

The American Experiment Is Over

Say "so long".

It was fun while it lasted.

We gave it a good run.

Oh sure, we had our problems. Slavery, sexism, racism, xenophobia, the wholesale slaughter of the native people, an odd tendency to worship rich people. White bread.

But we were making some progress...and the original idea was a good one--once we (slowly) realized that "all men" really meant we had to include everyone, and not just white male property owners.

That all changed a few years back.

Nixon turned on the spigot and Saint Reagan opened the floodgates and the Angry White Males  decided the coloreds, and wimmenfolk, and gay-os, and those awful poor people, and all those commies in unions, were just too damn uppity....and somebody had to do somethin' about it!!!

Cuz it weren't natural, that mad rush toward equality.

Certainly not what Jesus and his Daddy would want.

Now we have a majority on our Supreme Court that swears that corporations are people and money is speech. And that we don't have to worry about institutionalized racism anymore, because it no longer exist...and that unions aren't necessary because employers would never dream of fucking over their workers...and that your religious beliefs are more important than the Constitution--as long as they're the right religious beliefs.

And we have one of our two major political parties that is trying to choose which one, from a legion of craven, lying, delusional fools, to represent them in a national election.

So, yeah, it was fun while it lasted...

But it's over.

R.I.P.

The Gospel According To Mike Huckabee

Verily I say unto ye,

All will be forgiven!

Except the gays and the blacks and certain "loose" women and the Mexicans and the heathen and anybody else I don't cotton to.

For my God is a forgiving God...some of the time...for some of the people.

And because He loves us so--some of us at least--He shall send unto thee a child.

Well, not exactly a child.

More like a thrice married, sometime adulterous, hillbilly woman who has now "seen the light."

And this hillbilly woman, tho she may be deeply flawed in many ways, and seriously lacking in what those godforsaken liberals arrogantly call "intelligence", as if there were anything truly worth knowing besides "The Book", will be unto thee a fountain of knowledge.

And she will interpret for thee what thou should and shouldn't do in regards to mans' laws.

For mans' silly laws are always secondary to His laws.

Even if you've taken an oath on His book to dutifully abide by and administer their laws.

Verily this might be considered an ethical conundrum--if any of us knew what that was.

But obviously we don't, and that in and of itself must be part of His Great Plan.

So I sayeth unto thee, once and for always, Ignorance is truly Bliss.

Therefore, the more Ignorant the more Blissful.

Amen.

Today's Quiz

Get your pencils ready:

If and when the Supremes destroy the Affordable Care Act, A) how are the insurance companies going to react to losing all of those paying customers? and B) how will the Republicans explain to some of their supporters why they don't, and perhaps can't, have insurance anymore?

300 words or less, and remember punctuation and spelling are always important.

Extra credit: who do you think will win in the fight between Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, and all those old Cubans who got run out of their own country 50 years ago on one side, and every U.S. corporation licking its chops over doing business in Cuba on the other?

White Privilege

Hey, if you know anything about the history of this Best Country There Ever Was Or Ever Could Be, anything at all, it's that white men have been killing black men with relative impunity since almost the very beginning.

For one thing, it's the fucking basis of Southern "culture". Strange fruit, y'all.

For another, it's all that some folks mean when they talk about "law and order".

Consequently, we end up with police who are more than happy to oblige.

Dammit, it's our history, and I'm sorry to say, for some of us, our nature.

Face it, we were extremely naive to think that having a black president would change any of that.

Hell, that just served to "energize the base", as the pundits are so fond of saying. Give 'em something to get really mad about. Distract the hillbillies from what is really happening.

And the claim, put forth by the corporate mouthpiece majority of our Supreme Court, including "honorary" white man Clarence Thomas, that we are living in a "post racial" society? I mean, honestly, what a sick joke that is. At least wipe the blood from your hands before you say it, OK?

No, sorry, but you just can't get away from white privilege. And, obviously, to some that privilege includes killing black men.

God Bless America.

My Religion

Since we're apparently headed into the "my religion says I don't have to obey your laws" era of American History 101, I might as well lay out what my religion says:

My religion says your religion is based on an invisible, unprovable, sky God who is deaf and blind. When you pray to Him you are essentially just talking to yourself, for all the good it will do you.

My religion says His son is a mostly fictional amalgam of whatever the earliest "christians" thought they needed to convince the ignorant masses to enlist in their cause.

My religion says any religion should be a deeply personal matter, and it is oafish to force your religious beliefs on others.

My religion says you shouldn't meddle in the personal lives--with particular emphasis on reproductive issues--of other people, especially women.

My religion says that people who, prima facie, hate other people because of the color of their skin or their sexual preferences have voided their membership in humanity and should be ignored until they see the error of their ways.

My religion says politicians who start unnecessary wars should be hung from trees in public display until their rotting carcasses are picked clean by birds. Ditto for the pundits, intellectuals, clergy, radio/tv hosts, etc. who act as cheerleaders for said wars. Obviously we're going to need to plant more trees.

My religion says corporations are not people, money is not speech, and hatred is not a family value.

My religion says that organizations that don't pay taxes get to have no say in public policy.

My religion says if you elect idiots to govern you, you will be governed by idiots.

My religion says everyone is entitled to their own beliefs--however loopy--but not their own facts. This is 2014, not 1014. We should not have to go through the Dark Ages and Enlightenment more than once in an eternity.

My religion says cookies good, Nazis bad.

So it is written, so it shall be. Amen.

How Many Catholic Male Supreme Court Justices Does It Take To Ruin A Country?

Oh, just a simple majority.

That's all.

The Gettysburg Address ( Supreme Court Approved 2014 Amended Edition)

 
Four $core and $even year$ ago our father$ brought forth on thi$ continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the propo$ition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, te$ting whether that nation, or any nation $o conceived and $o dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, a$ a final re$ting place for tho$e who here gave their live$ that that nation might live. It i$ altogether fitting and proper that we $hould do thi$. 

But, in a larger $en$e, we can not dedicate -- we can not con$ecrate -- we can not hallow -- thi$ ground. The brave men, living and dead, who $truggled here, have con$ecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we $ay here, but it can never forget what they did here. It i$ for u$ the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfini$hed work which they who fought here have thu$ far $o nobly advanced. It i$ rather for u$ to be here dedicated to the great ta$k remaining before u$ -- that from the$e honored dead we take increa$ed devotion to that cau$e for which they gave the la$t full mea$ure of devotion -- that we here highly re$olve that the$e dead $hall not have died in vain -- that thi$ nation, under God, $hall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people $$$$$$, by the people $$$$$$, for the people $$$$$$, $hall not peri$h from the earth.


Just another nail in the coffin of democracy, courtesy of John Roberts and the Supremes. Nice work boys. I'm sure you will be amply rewarded by your bosses.

Sorry, But That's Against My Religion

Let's put aside for a second that SB 1062, the "religious freedom" amendment just passed by the Republican controlled Arizona State legislature is almost certainly unconstitutional. (Sadly, you always have to say "almost" with the current makeup of the US Supreme Court.)

And that it codifies the idea that Christians are nothing but bigoted, racist, homophobic cranks, incapable of any kind of empathy for their fellow human beings, so insecure in their religion that they feel threatened by everything that doesn't exactly mirror their own beliefs.

And that we must now rely on a Republican hack, Governor Jan "Chuck, Tell Me What To Do" Brewer to veto it.

Instead, let's look at it from a practical standpoint:

When all the bigoted, racist, homophobic, real "Christians" in North America retire they'll want a nice, warm place to go.

A place where they'll be able to express their true feelings.

A place where they'll be safe from any prolonged contact with "The Other."

All the esteemed Republican members of the Arizona State legislature are trying to do is guarantee that Arizona is that place.

Cynics might call it their economic growth plan.

Their only economic growth plan.