A Letter To America From The Koch Brothers

Greetings!

First of all, we love this country. Which means we love you. Well...most of you.

Those of you who are willing to work hard, for whatever we want to pay you, for as long as we ask, with whatever benefits we're willing to offer. Or no benefits at all. Those of you who don't want government meddling to impede the natural progress that a truly free market brings. Those of you who don't worry about global warming or clean air and water or safe working conditions. In short, rugged American Americans, the kind who made this country that we love so great. You know who you are.

Some of you, though, constantly whine about the unequal distribution of wealth and continually beg for handouts. Like health care you can afford. And a living wage. And free public education. And government oversight of corporations. And the right to vote. Parasites. We don't love you. You are what's wrong with our beloved country.

Wise up. Life will be so much easier once you surrender your pathetic, little dreams and acknowledge that rich people are simply better. Honestly, would God, in His infinite wisdom, have made us rich if we weren't superior? No, He would not.

So, relax. Rich people know what's best. We will look after you. We will provide. Trust us.

Never forget, government is your enemy. We are your friends.

Remember, a rising tide lifts all boats. Yachts and dinghys, both. Even cardboard rafts, strapped together with vines and taking water at an alarming rate.

God Bless this great land of ours. God Bless us all!

Your friends,

Dave and Charlie

Oh, Okay Then

So let me see if I've got this straight:

The GOP doesn't like a certain law. Remember now, they are the "law and order" party. And this happens to be a law passed by both houses of Congress, signed by the President, and upheld by the Supreme Court.

Hell, we even had a national election that was in large part a referendum on this law.

But forget about all that. Because if the "law and order" party doesn't like a law, I mean really doesn't like a law, they are willing to shut down the government to show their displeasure.

Gosh, if only there were a way, in a representative democracy, to change laws...(Maybe even make them better? What a radical idea! Too bad those Founding Father guys weren't smart enough to put something like that in the Constitution.)

Of course, that would involve governing and compromise, and we all know how the GOP feels about government. To a true blue Tea Party Republican compromise means "give me everything I want--or else."

So, there really is no option other than having what amounts to an infantile temper tantrum.

I guess this is just another example of that famous American exceptionalism.

Jesus Christ!

Just heard that Bill O'Reilly, or if you prefer, Bilious O'Rantly, thinks the "Holy Spirit" spoke to him and "told" him to write his little bookie wook about Jesus H. Christ.

At this point, I will pause briefly while you laugh until your spleen bursts...

Feel better? Good. Laughter is the best medicine.

Now, though I have no doubt that Mr. O'Rantly does hear voices in his head, I will bet good money, American money, that it ain't the Holy Spirit.

Hopefully it's just a tumor of some sort, inoperable if we're lucky, pressing on the tiny part of his brain that isn't devoted to uttering total bullshit at extremely high volume.

Let us pray...

All The Proof You'll Ever Need That An Ivy League Education Is Not What It's Cracked Up To Be:

Ted Cruz.

Not convinced?

Ok.

George W. Bush.

The thing, as they say, speaks for itself.

To be fair, Cruz probably isn't any worse than the people who elected him. They are either completely stupid or totally venal or some virulent combination of both stupidity and venality.

Don't mess with Texas. They can fuck things up all on their own.

PS I've been racking my brain trying to figure out who Ted Cruz reminded me of. Then, as if on the road to Damascus, it came to me in a flash: that ur-conman, Mr. Haney from Green Acres. No wonder the hicks and rubes love him so.

Looney Tunes

It is said that the philosopher Wittgenstein enjoyed the fractured logic of cartoons.

Boy, would he have gotten a kick out of the Republican Tea Party!

Simply put, when you elect people who do not believe in government to govern you...well, what would you expect to happen?

Do fact adverse xenophobes living in their own alternative universe have empathy, let alone sympathy, for anyone else? Hell no!

Do people anxiously awaiting the Rapture care about the environment? Hell no!

Do people who swear by the Book of Revelations and can't wait for the "end times" to begin care about peace and justice in the Middle East? Hell no!

Do nihilists plan for the future? Hell no!

Do fools, knaves and grifters in the pockets of billionaires care about anything but their next payoff? Hell no!

Bugs, Daffy, Porky and Elmer, had nothing on Ted, Louie, Sarah and Rand.

This Just In: Karl Rove Is Still A Festering Pustule

So I'm scanning the Huffington Post the other day, searching for tidbits, and what do I find?

"Obama's handling of the Syrian conflict has been 'an unmitigated disaster'." So saith one Karl Rove.

Well...If there's anyone with a working knowledge of disasters in the Middle East, and elsewhere, it would be Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove. Or Donald "There Are Knowns and Unknows, But Mostly A Whole Bunch Of Stuff I Don't Have A Fucking Clue About" Rumsfeld. Or Condi "I'll Be At Jimmy Choo's If You Need Me" Rice. Or Lil Dick "The Dark Lord" Cheney. Or any of the Bush Gang, including ol Simple W. his own self.

The idea of any member of that crew being taken seriously when they pontificate about any aspect of the government is laughable.

Their wars have cost the United States trillions of dollars, killed hundreds of thousands of people, crippled an untold number more, and displaced millions. Oh yeah, and they poisoned the well for the foreseeable future for any President or Secretary of State who goes before the United Nations with a legitimate concern. Their lies destroyed whatever moral authority our country might have once had, given plausible deniability to murderous dictators everywhere, and the moral high ground to Vladimir Putin, of all people.

The aptly nicknamed "Turd Blossom" should stop talking about foreign policy, about which he and his erstwhile employers have proven they know absolutely nothing, and get back to trying to steal elections by whatever-means-necessary, which is something about which he is an expert.

A Bit Of Harmless Fun

We all sit, with bated breath, waiting for the Great Syria Debate.

The nation's best minds, seated in our hallowed Congress and representing all reasonable points of view, will, with the highest intellectual rigor and the wisdom that is our country's birth right....

And blah blah blah.

Louie Gohmert is a member of the United States Congress. So is Trent Franks. So are Steve King, Darrell Issa, Ted Cruz, Dana Rohrabacher...oh, the list goes on and on. Inhofe, Flake, Paul, McConnell, Graham, and Sessions. Quite the brain trust, ain't it?

The Congressional debate over Syria will make monkeys throwing their feces at each other look like Masterpiece Theatre.

Some of these morons will still not admit that the President is a native born US citizen. They're just not sure...

Or perhaps they are sure, but they know they have to act like idiots to appease their idiotic base. I don't know which is worse: to be an idiot or to just act like one because you're afraid.

Our Congress is full of bought and paid for "climate change" deniers, evolution deniers, healthcare crisis deniers, gun nuts, racists, homophobes, misogynists, Ayn Rand quoting dweebs and hopheads chanting "USA USA!" as they stuff the Koch brothers' money into their pockets.

Expecting them to do anything in a sane and timely fashion is asking way too much...it would require them to put aside their personal passions and pettiness and act like statesmen. And that's not going to happen.

Anyway, the truth is that there is no good solution to what is happening in Syria. It is a civil war between a murderous despot, who is supported and supplied by Russia, China and Iran, versus a collection of armed sects. And trust me, the Russians and Chinese really don't care who Assad gasses. Because they both reserve the right to brutalize their own citizens as needed and by whatever means necessary. Besides, this gives them all a chance to screw with the good ol' USA.

Based on our lies about Iraq, why would the other member states of the UN trust us now? Even our British friends are tired of war. And if by chance Assad could be removed, who would replace him? There is no fertile ground for democracy to take root. Modern Syria is, like most of the Arab states in the Middle East, an artificial construct, left behind from the remains of the Ottoman Empire after the first World War. Cobbled together by the British and French out of tribes that have been killing each other for a thousand years, since the original schism in the Muslim world. And apparently you can now throw al-Qaeda into that mix. What kind of coalition government would that toxic brew yield? And for how long?

I have no doubt that there are many peace loving, innocent Syrians who want to live in the 21st Century and not the Middle Ages. After all, most people everywhere just want to get along with their lives, watch their children grow, and age as gracefully as possible. Unfortunately, in Syria they have no power, nor any say in what happens to themselves or their state. Personally, I would pack all I could and head for the nearest border.

I'm afraid the slaughter of the innocents will continue for the foreseeable future, until all innocence is lost.