Uh....Thanks?

It should be obvious by now to everyone, including his immediate family, that Louie Gohmert is a moron.

Everything he says, everything he does, confirms this. I can only imagine what kind of shit hole, to use the Flaming Orange Anuses' preferred term, he represents. 

What kind of "people", and I use that word in its broadest sense, keep sending this "person", and again I use that word in its broadest sense, to Congress?

As David Susskind used to say, "the mind boggles".

However, as unbelievable as it may seem, Louie now has competition--stiff competition--for the title of Worst Congress person.

My own sad state has thrown up some hardy challengers. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, David Schweikart, and Debbie Lesko are all in the running. 

Biggs and Gosar probably couldn't spell sedition without help, and yet they both committed it. 

Schweikart's own family campaigned against him. Must make Thanksgiving fun.

And Lesko is just another female, empty pant suit, Republican. The lights aren't on, and, yep, no one is home.

Hell of a team the GOP has assembled in Arizona. Individually they are #Sad. But as a group they are stunning. Is this a great country, or what?

We sentient Arizonans would be overcome with shame at the prospect of someone from our state toppling Louie from his perch atop the garbage heap that is the Republican House caucus...if it weren't for two late entries:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert!

Two Q-anon embracing, Trump loving, pistol packing Mamas who never met a ridiculous idea they didn't heartily embrace. In a well ordered society they would both be disarmed and placed in padded rooms somewhere quiet. In the good ol USA they are both armed, and, at least for the time being, in Congress.

I would say that they're brain dead, but you have to have had a functioning brain at some point to be declared brain dead, so...

Still, we must enjoy our victories, however small they might be. 

Therefore, on behalf of the Arizonans who still have a sense of shame, I say to Lauren and Marjorie,

Uh....thanks?

Before Unity. Before Healing. JUSTICE.

Of course the Republican party now wants "unity" and "healing".

I wonder, would that be like the "unity" they showed President Obama for 8 years?

That slack jawed, racist, knife in the back, put party (and Russia, of course) before country kind of unity? 

And as far as "healing", they are the cause of almost all of our wounds. So let them heal themselves before bothering the rest of us.

God, what a miserable collection of cunts they are. Breathtaking.

Does anyone with a functioning brain think that impeaching The Grotesque One again is a bad idea? He is a traitor who tried to overthrow our government. Leading his idiot legions from the comfort of his lazyboy. Diet coke in his pudgy, soft hands, drool frothing on his lizard lips, bronzer puddling in the folds of his many chins, adult diaper full from the excitement.

Personally, I'd opt for saving time and money and just put that orange son of a bitch, his three eldest children, and his enablers against a wall. Blind fold optional.

But then, I hold a grudge like Stalin held a grudge. Like a Sicilian holds a grudge.

You might consider that a weakness. I admit, it isn't my best trait. Somehow, though, I find it works for me.

The overwhelming hypocrisy of the GOP is mind boggling. However, without it, they would have no core values at all but the lust for power and money.

They cannot govern. They can only steal. And sow chaos. 

Yes, it would be nice to have unity and healing. But before that we should have trials. Lots of them.

After they're over, we can have unity and healing--at least as much as we can stomach. 

But first we must have Justice.

A Traitor Until The Bitter End

You would think that a man who has declared bankruptcy so many times would know when to cut and run.

But no.

Apparently Donald J. Trump is going to ride the crazy train to the very end of the line.

I guess Il Trumpo still thinks that he's immune to the laws of this land.

And why not? He's gotten away with all sorts of illegal crap his entire worthless life. In fact, his business career has been based on illegal crap. Mob concrete, scab labor, stiffing his sub contractors, suing people who can't afford lawyers--there are many arrows in the Trump quiver. 

And he's always gotten away with it.

Why should treason and sedition be any different?

He expects to bluff and threaten his way out of every situation.

So why should encouraging a mob of his delusional halfwits to storm the Capitol be any different?

But it is. Oh yes, it is. You can fuck with a lot of stuff. But not that. And all of his little Republican helpers, Biggs, Gosar, Greene, Guiliani, Boebert, McCarthy and the rest should be updating their resumes. Maybe Russian Television is hiring.

Of course, his army of imbeciles will always stay with him. Like any cult, once you've drunk too much of the Kool-aid the only way out may be death. And that is a problem that we will have to deal with in the coming years. But for the majority of sentient Americans, he's finally crossed the line.

When even a piece of opportunistic garbage like Moscow Mitch McConnell turns against you, you've gone too far.

There will be trials, there will be asset seizures, there will be prison sentences. Best to fuel up the private jet and punch the coordinates for Moscow or Riyadh into the navigation system.

Anyone with the last name of "Trump" might consider an alias. This applies to "Kushner" as well.

(The most amusing aspect of this whole tragedy is that Ivanka, aka Princess Sparkle Pony, thinks she has a future in politics. Maybe she can be the head snitch in whatever prison she ends up in.)

Personally, I would dispense with jail time for her daddy and just put him up against a wall somewhere. Blindfold optional.

But then I'm old school when it comes to treason.

Some Questions For The Remaining Trump Supporters

Hey, whatever happened to "lock her up"?

Your boy had both houses of Congress for 2 years and the Justice Department for 4 and yet...crooked Hillary Clinton walks the earth a free woman. What's the deal? You all worked yourselves up into a frothy mouthed frenzy--repeatedly--and...NOTHING happened. All those crimes you were so sure she committed, what about them? Where are the indictments? Where is the perp walk you were all praying for? Last time I checked, Obama was still a free man, as well. Looks like he's having a good time, too. Wrote a book. FYI a book is a bunch of pieces of paper filled with words.

Speaking of things that never happened, when will Mexico start paying for The Wall? Goddamn it, Trump promised they would. The check is probably in the mail, right? And you know how slow the mail is.

What about all of these Chinese hoaxes? What about them? Boy, those Chinese sure are good at hoaxes. They convinced 350,000 (and counting) Americans to give up their lives. All for a hoax. And, apparently, they can control the weather. Hurricanes, fires, floods, blizzards. All for a hoax. Wow! And after Trumpie gave their guy that slice of super duper chocolate cake, too. Ingrates.

And all of that money TrumpCo has uh, raised (grifted), from you to challenge the obviously rigged election. Where did that money go again? Could it be into his and his family's pockets? That would probably be a good place to look.

Do you know that accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt? No, of course you don't. But it is. Which means all of those people that the Trumpmeister pardons are GUILTY. All of his little buddies have committed crimes. Crimes against America. The country you all profess to love. Funny, huh?

Finally, what flavor is the Kool Aid? Must be really tasty.

Today's Chuckle

I don't know about you, but the funniest thing I've heard recently is the rampant speculation about "what will Trump do next?"

Will he run in 2024? Will Jesus finally come back and be his running mate?

Will Don Jr. run?

Will Ivanka run?

Will he start his own media company?

Will he become the King Maker of the Republican party? 

These are all nonsensical.

Donald J. Trump will spend the rest of his miserable life either in court, in jail, and/or in bankruptcy.

And his three adult children, plus the boy wonder son-in-law, Jared, will spend much of their miserable lives doing the same.

It was "fun" while it lasted, but the gig, as they say, is up.

Their only options are to stay here and face the music, praying for an incompetent prosecutor, a senile judge, and a compromised jury full of MAGAts, or flee the country to somewhere without an extradition treaty.

Run in 2024? 

Don't make me laugh.

The Accomplishments Of Donald J. Trump

There follows an incomplete list of the major accomplishments of Donald J. Trump, soon to be a former President of the United States:

He made George W. Bush seem almost competent. At one point, I would have thought that that was impossible, but...we are forced from here on out to compare all Presidents, past and future to Trump. So, even though W. was by any fair accounting a fucking disaster, once you apply the Trump comparison meter, he was, well, still a fucking disaster--but not nearly as catastrophic a fucking disaster as Donald J. Trump. Because, for all of his faults, George W. Bush was not a racist, criminal, traitor. A combination that will henceforth be known as The Full Trump. 

At this point, all of our awful, crappy Presidents, move down one on the list of awful, crappy Presidents. Donald J. Trump is numbah 1, now and, if our luck holds, forever.

It's not all bad for Trump, though. After all, he ended the political career of Jeb "Please Clap" Bush. The "smart one" just didn't have the stones to defeat the "corrupt one". So we will have to wait another generation for a Bush to rise up and darken the land. Credit where credit is due to El Trumpo the Conqueror. 

He exposed the Republican Party for what it has been since 1968 at least: a collection of racists, hiding behind code words like "states' rights", "law and order", and "welfare queens". A party whose sole legislative purpose is to redistribute wealth upward while maintaining a permanent under class, all while appealing to the worst impulses of its base. How they got from the Party of Lincoln to this in a little over 100 years is a truly amazing achievement. 

He set an unbreakable record for lies. 25,000 of them as of today. Sure, all Presidents lie. But Jesus Christ, there's a difference between a dribble and a tsunami. Nixon and Reagan, previously thought of as the gold standard, were rank amateur liars compared to Donald J. Trump. He lies incessantly, he lies without a shred of conscience, he lies about everything and anything. He lies about things that there is no good reason to lie about. Obviously, he cannot help himself. With this amazing, unmatched, ability he really should have gone into religion instead of business. There's always a place for that level of mendacity in the Houses of the Lord. He already has the hair and the makeup, and if he can avoid prison (and that's a very big "if" hahaha) he could segue right into televangelism.

He helped to kill 265,000 Americans--and counting. And that's a lot. But at least he avoided a CoVid "panic". Right? On the plus side of the ledger, some of those were (and will be) his own supporters. When you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

I wonder, right before they intubate a MAGAt, do they ask "tired of winning yet?"

By necessity, this must remain an incomplete list. No doubt the Biden Justice Department will add many entries. 

In the meantime, he has a few more weeks to work his "magic".

The End Of Trumpy The Clown

Sad day for the Ur-clown.

All the old gags stopped working and the Big Top has left town without him.

There is no lying his way out of this.

There is no threatening his way out of this.

There is no bribing his way out of this.

Trumpy's bag of time tested tricks is empty.

Oh, sure, he still has his die hard fans. 

But let's face it, they're so easily entertained, so relentlessly stupid, so morally challenged, they'll be frothing at the mouth and laughing at Trumpy's tired act until the graveyard dirt is shoveled onto them.

Of course, he can always send out his fellow clown Rudy G., who, incidentally, is a dead ringer for the murderous baboon in Ad Astra.

Unfortunately, Rudy's act is just as lame as Trumpy's. 

And many of his clown cohort have already fled the SS Trumpy, which is taking on water at an alarming rate. I could say something about rats leaving a sinking ship, but that wouldn't be fair to rats.

No, no matter what Trumpy tries, for the majority of us, Trumpy Time Is Over.

So, R.I.P. Trumpy.

Which in this particular case means Rest In Prison.