So The Ivermectin Didn't Work, Huh?

Hmmm. Who could have imagined that a veterinary treatment for de-worming horses wouldn't work for an airborne corona virus in people? Strange that.

You're still sick, and getting sicker. What to do, what to do?

Do not go to the hospital! They're kinda crowded right now, anyway. Remember, you don't trust doctors and their so-called "science". And their fancy vaccines.

So what if they've proved effective for literally hundreds of millions of people. You're a free citizen. Not a sheep. You will not be forced into any Deep State/Bill Gates/George Soros vaccine genocide!

(Forget for a second that the entire Trump family has been vaccinated. And so has everyone at Fox News. And probably every Republican member of Congress, too.)

You've done a lot of "research" on the Internet and you're pretty sure you know more about this than any "expert". Your body. Your choice.

If the horse paste didn't work there must be another way...

Do not despair. Do not worry. There are a multitude of other "cures" that the Deep State doesn't want you to know about:

Prayer. Pray really hard and really long and, if Jesus truly loves you, He and His Dad will probably save you. And if They don't, well, that just shows you're not worthy.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of other veterinary ointments, serums, drugs, etc. Make what remains of your life one probably not too long experiment. (I was going to say "science" experiment, but that might frighten the target audience.)

(By the way, has it occurred to these people that veterinarians are doctors, too? They went to a form of Med school. They use the science they learned there every fucking day. On animals.)

The old Roman method of dealing with unfortunate events. Draw a nice, warm bath. Sit in it comfortably while with a straight razor you open the veins in both wrists. I'm told this really doesn't hurt much. "Turn off your mind, relax, and float down stream. It is not dying..." Well, actually it is dying. But at least you'll no longer have to suffer in this socialist hellhole. Am I right?!

For those without a bathtub, a plastic bag over the head, tightly taped around the neck, is not nearly as elegant as the Roman method, nor as painless, but ultimately just as effective.

Finally, don't forget about Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson. You probably have a bunch of different calibers to choose from. Buy American! Go out with a bang! Own the Libs!

The Grift Goes On

Just as there are people still waiting to be Raptured.

Just as there were, for many years, Japanese soldiers hiding in the jungles of the South Pacific, convinced that WWII was still a "thang", indeed a "winnable thang", long after the A bombs had closed that book.

Just as there are no doubt countless steamer trunks, full of Confederate War bonds tucked away in double wide trailers all across the South, hoping for...well, you know.

So there are apparently millions of people willing to send money to Donald J. Trump for his next "campaign" or "audit" or "whatever".

Other than the "whatever" part, none of this money will be spent on what they think.  

No, Donald J. Trump will spend that money on debt service, on lawyers, on trying to maintain what remains of his lifestyle.

On propping up the crumbling facade of "whatever" remains of Trump World.

The campaign will never happen. The audits are a lunatic's fantasy. Hopefully, "whatever" is left of the Trump family in 2024 will be doing laps around the yard of a maximum security prison somewhere hot.

It is not really that surprising that the chuckle headed MAGAts still, against all reason and all reality, continue to send whatever money they can scrape together to Trump.

They believe in him. Just like many of them believe in the pompadoured flim-flam men that sell them   Jesus. 

And so, money they can't afford to part with is bundled off for yet another Salvation raffle ticket. Collect the whole set. All the while they sit and wait while their Shepherd expands his media empire, buys the latest Gulfstream, and chuckles all the way to the bank.

I wonder what will happen when the Men O' God figure out that Trump's grift is cutting into their grift?

Hell to pay, I'd say.

The "Dumbest Person On Capitol Hill"

Madison Cawthorn was recently called the "dumbest person on Capitol Hill."

My first thought on hearing this was, "What? Did Louie Gohmert die?"

This is simply not fair. Sure, Madison Cawthorn is a fucking idiot. No arguments there.

But Louie Gohmert, who as far as I can tell is still alive, is in the Hall of Fame of Dumb. Cawthorn is a mere rookie compared to Louie.

He will need many years of stupidity to get anywhere near Louie's level.

I don't doubt that he will try, but there are no guarantees.

Besides, before he gets close to Gohmert's, uh, achievements, he needs to get past all of the other pretenders to the Great One's throne.

I'm looking at you Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert, Virginia Foxx, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz. 

(If this were a tag team affair, the last two would be a lock.)

And, try as we might, we can't forget Arizona's duo of stupid, Paul Gosar and Andy Biggs.

Let's not overlook the Senatorial competition, either. 

Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Chuck Grassley, all deserve consideration. There are countless others, too. All vying for the title.

And remember, while there can only be one "dumbest person on Capitol Hill", it's an honor just to be nominated.

Curiously, they all have that "R" next to their names. You know, "R" for Russia. Probably just a coincidence.

No Madison. You're an imbecile. No one is denying that. But you've got a long, long way to go to reach Gohmert level dumb.

An Incomplete List Of American Disgraces

(A complete list would take up way too much space...)

Homeless people. We are the richest country on the face of the earth.

Hungry people. We are the richest country on the face of the earth. And the fattest, too. But somehow we still have people going hungry, and children whose one good meal a day is provided by their school, which, of course, conservatives want to take away.

Mentally ill people set loose on the streets. Thanks again, Saint Reagan.

People with no health insurance. Because, you know, national health care is SOCIALISM!

People who refuse to be vaccinated. Because, you know, FreeDumb.

Substandard schools for poorer people. Sweet demi-palaces for richer people. There is a public elementary school that I drive by that has recently built a multi-purpose structure that would not be out of place at Lincoln Center, in New York City. Meanwhile, there are schools nearby with not enough books, not enough  paper, not enough pencils. Computers? Hahaha. And don't get me started on charter schools and the voucher system.

Bullet proof backpacks for school kids. Because some people think that their right to bear arms is more important than anyone else's right to live.

Lugnutz who wander around with their AR-15's. They think they look tough, but what they really look like is scared little boys playing army.

Idiots who can say, with a straight face, that slavery "wasn't so bad".

Idiots who oppose teaching that slavery was indeed that bad. Bad in such a profound and disturbing way that it should shame every decent white person in America, and cause them to dedicate themselves to finally fix its lasting ills.

Fox News. Goebbels would be so proud.

The Republican Party in toto. I mean, Jesus, just look at them.

Signor Baseball's "What The Hell Is Going On Here?" MLB Update

There are always surprises in sports. Players get hurt, or under perform. Sometimes players you've never heard of have superior seasons.

Sometimes entire teams have superior seasons. 

And sometimes entire teams slump.

Because of the length of the season, in Major League baseball things tend to even out. Call it reversion to the mean.

But not always...

The biggest surprises so far in the 2021 season are as follows:

The San Francisco Giants. I don't know where they found these guys. Frankly I've never heard of most of them. But, so far, they've been able to stay ahead of Dodger and Padre teams that are much better--on paper at least. Looking at the records of the other NL teams, I'd say that even if they fade some in the home stretch they'll make the playoffs.

Atlanta Braves are below .500 and unless the Mets crash and burn, won't make the playoffs. Philadelphia has a better chance at catching New York.

The Arizona Diamondbacks are just awful. I didn't expect them to be a contender, but I also didn't expect them to be a complete embarrassment. The big surprise here is that their manager still has his job.

Milwaukee figured to be in the race in the Central, but not this far ahead. There is still time for St. Louis to close the gap, but they'll have to play much better than they have while the Brewers fall apart. Chances are that won't happen. Cincinnati being in contention as I write this is also a surprise. 

Over in the AL, the Yankees have been very good and very bad, sometimes in the same inning. Their bullpen is totally unreliable and their hitters have shown a tendency to all go cold at the same time. Also, their starters have been banged up all year. They will struggle to make up enough ground to get a Wild Card. However, if they do, and their starters stay healthy, they can make some noise in the post season because they have a lot of talent--even though much of it has been dormant so far.

The Red Sox have been consistent all year and barring the unforeseen, will win the East. If they should falter, Tampa is right behind them. Either way they make the playoffs. And, a few years from now, we may find out that they've been stealing signs again...

Chicago running away with the Central is also surprising. They, on paper once again, don't look that much better than Cleveland or Minnesota. But apparently they are. Somehow, this late in his career, Lance Lynn has turned into Tom Seaver. Odd that.

And out West, the Astros remain the best team, but Shohei Ohtani is the best show in baseball. A once in a hundred years talent. Babe Ruth reincarnated. But you'll have to enjoy him during the regular season, because the Angels aren't close to being a playoff team. Oakland and, surprisingly Seattle, are in striking distance. But Wild Card slots are the best either of them should hope for. Houston is just too good.

Still, there are a lot of games to play. Somebody gets hurt, somebody gets hot...and things can change just like that.

 

Ashli Babbitt Got Exactly What She Deserved

Does that seem harsh to you?

Really? 

Because based on all the available evidence she was asking for it.

If someone broke into my house with a crazed look on their face, chanting some insane bullshit, waiving their traitor's flag, and threatening mayhem and murder, I would not hesitate to neutralize them as quickly as possible with whatever means seemed appropriate.

And if they were accompanied by a gang of similarly incensed, delusional, knuckle dragging lunatics, the appropriate means would be swift and deadly.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

No time to try to figure out who's a murderous crazy and who just thinks "gee, this will be fun!"

The next time a gang of MAGAts, riled up by their Flabby Orange Couch Potato Traitor in Chief, tries to storm anything, the appropriate police response can be described in three words:

Shoot To Kill. 

Oh sure, warn them first.

Then Shoot To Kill.

Play time is over.

Apocalypse When?

Every once in awhile some D-list religious leader will announce the "End of the World".

On such a date, at such a time, blah, blah, blah. 

And their flock sells everything, drinks all the Koolaid they can get their hands on, and waits...

And waits...

Like they say, "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Fool me countless times, well, I have a big, big, problem."

Now, sometimes the shepherd and the flock end up killing themselves.

The more callous amongst us might call this a win-win.

But usually the shepherd mumbles something about miscalculating and, uh, he'll get back to you.

And the flock will be ready, willing and able to follow him again--just as soon as he figures out where and when.

It is with this sort of thinking in mind that we turn our attention to the belief of some people that Donald of Orange, everybody's favorite criminal Traitor, will somehow be "restored" to the Presidency in August.

Huh?

That this is a complete impossibility doesn't matter. Like any other cult, the MAGAts will believe what they believe irrespective of facts.

Their Leader, who at this point is well past Empty on the functioning brain gauge, has spoken and there is literally nothing they can do--nothing anyone can do--but play along. And keep those donations coming, of course. After all, Freedumb isn't Free!

I mean, the My Pillow Guy says it's definitely going to happen, and if you can't trust a "reformed" crack addict who now peddles crappy pillows to simpletons, who can you trust?

So, put away your so-called "facts". They have no place in TrumpWorld. 

On the plus side, when this does not happen--because it cannot happen--perhaps some of the MAGAts will do the "right thing" and leave this veil of tears forever.

Fingers crossed.