The Real Problem

The real problem isn't that we have semi-human scum like Lauren "Handjob" Boebert, Marjorie Taylor "Calling Me Trailor Park Is An Insult To Trailor Parks" Greene, Andy "I Haven't Been Indicted Yet" Biggs, David "My Own Family Hates Me" Schweikert, Paul "What's Shakin?" Gosar, Jim "Let's Wrestle" Jordan, Matt "Venmo" Gaetz, James "There Is No Nickname You Can Give Me That Captures How Truly Loathsome I Am" Comer, Mike "It's In The Bible" Johnson, Virginia "Hateful Old Thing" Fox, John "Cornpone" Kennedy, Rand "In Putin's Pocket" Paul, Marco "Tiny Man Tinier Brain" Rubio, Rick "Medicare Fraud Hall Of Fame" Scott, and all the rest of those Republican assholes in Congress.

This is a big country, after all, and there are plenty of meretricious grifters. In fact, you might even say that meretricious grifting is one of our founding principles.

No, the problem is that there are millions of people willing to vote, over and over and over again, for these clowns.

After they have proven, time after time, that they have no interest at all in governing. They just want to perform.

Put on a little show for the cameras. Put on a little show for Traitor Don. Put on a little show for Putin and the Big Money Boys.

Maybe get some airtime on Fox "News". Or NewsMax, or OAN, or any of those other channels that only certifiable idiots watch.

But they are so fucking bad at it! I mean small town community theater BAD.

Every time they're certain that they have a gotcha question, an "ah hah!" moment, or a witness that will reveal everything...it inevitably blows up in their faces.

Every. Single. Time.

At this point, only a moron would fall for their schtick.

That's the real problem.

TOO MANY MORONS.

And apparently there's not a goddamned thing we can do about it, except cross our fingers and hope that the next CoVid surge thins out the herd a little.

No, not a little. 

A Lot.

Running On Empty

For a 2 Party political system to function properly, you need two functioning political Parties. That's the bare minimum.

However, if you have one Party that wants to govern, create laws that help people, solve problems in the society, et cetera, and one Party that wants to behave like the monkey house at an underfunded, failing zoo, hurling their feces and shrieking, then, well, you've got a problem.

Time after time it has been proven that the majority of voters don't want what the Republicans are trying to serve them. On gun control, on voting rights, on abortion, on the minimum wage, on the environment, on everything, the people have said, over and over, "Nope".

You would think that they would take the hint, and try to come up with some policies that people like.

But, no, that's way too hard for the feces hurlers. That would require a certain degree of thought. And where's the fun in thinking? Thinking is hard. 

It's so much easier to just shriek a little louder and hurl another turd. Oh, and throw in something about Jesus, too.

Take a minute and try to think of one thing, one piece of legislation, that the Republican Party has come up with to help the majority of the American people. Not the bankers. Not the corporations. Not the Billionaires. The majority.

Nothing, huh? Not a goddamn thing.

Tax cuts for the rich? More guns for everyone? These are their favored policies. And all the proof you need that the Republicans have nothing to offer. 

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Seriously, How Hard Is It To Condemn Nazis?

You would think that this is a no-brainer.

And, since it requires literally "no brain", it should be right up the Republicans' alley.

Alas, you would be wrong. Terribly wrong.

Nazis, who sane people recognize as the worst humanity has to offer, are marching all over Florida, a state with a Republican governor, two Republican U.S. Senators, and a majority of Republican U.S. Representatives.

None of whom can even pretend to be morally offended by this.

Let us be clear on this: people who don't condemn Nazis, loudly and repeatedly, are shit stains.

Of course, this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. 

After all, Governor Ron DeSantis has single-handedly reduced the entire education system of Florida, from pre-K to University, into a fucking sick joke. Senator Rick Scott still holds the record for Medicare fraud, Senator Marco Rubio, who at one time seriously thought he could be President (hold for laughter) needs help drinking from a small water bottle, and the state's most famous Congressman is Matt Gaetz. Uh huh.

Shit stains all.

Honestly, it doesn't take a lot of sense or courage to denounce Nazis. 

However, it does take a bit of human decency, which is obviously more than any of them have.

To be fair, Nazis are still a reliable Republican voting block, so this could simply be a case of not wanting to offend your base.

Some Stuff I Learned From Republicans

Apparently, slavery was kinda like an internship. You didn't get paid--but you learned a lot of very valuable skills. And the raping, tearing apart of families, senseless brutality, selling off of your children, constant threat of death for offending your "masters" were WORTH it. Plus, you got room and board, in addition to the skills you were learning. 

And you could take these skills with you when you left the plantation. But you couldn't leave the plantation except by dying, or being sold to another plantation, or trying to run away to a free state--except they'd hunt you down, even in a free state, because the Supreme Court said that was OK! But the point is,  if you could have gotten away from that HELL ON EARTH, you'd have a very nice set of marketable skills. So stop complaining. And try to be just a little grateful.

Lying, cheating, and stealing are OK--if a Republican does it.

It's impossible for a Republican to commit treason. And if they do, well, that's OK too.

Any money is good money, never mind the source. In fact, never mention the source, if you can avoid it.

Nazis aren't that bad. Not really. No, what they are is a reliable bloc of conservative votes.

Vladimir Putin is a great man. A strong man. A manly man.

Drag queens are much more dangerous than automatic weapons.

Global Warming is a myth. Those 30 days of 110 degrees or more weather in Phoenix, Arizona are just a little thing called Summer. This is perfectly normal.

Women are primarily breeding stock.

Donald J. Trump is a good business man.

Donald J. Trump is a good Christian.

Donald J. Trump is a patriot.

Democrats raise children--or steal them--for their blood.

January 6th was just a normal Capitol tour that got a little out of hand.

Low information voters are the best voters.

No Way Out. No Way Out. No Way Out.

And so, after a lifetime of getting away with, well, EVERYTHING--rape, tax fraud, witness tampering, cheating sub-contractors, money laundering, cozying up to the MOB, lying about, well, EVERYTHING, strong arming everyone, and, of course, TREASON, TREASON, TREASON--Donald J. Trump finds his pendulous teats in a wringer.

This must come as a "yoog" shock to a career criminal.

Honestly, when you've skated away from serious charges your entire life, you must think of yourself as bullet proof.

The idea that you're finally going to face the music is incomprehensible. It's unbelievable! It just can't be!

But it's where Donald J. Trump now finds himself. 

Some of his enablers--the smarter ones--are falling all over themselves in the rush to turn on him.

He will face endless prosecutions.

With any luck, ALL of his assets will be RICOed.

And, fingers crossed, he will take at least 3 members of his immediate family, and many Republicans, with him.

These are all good things.

Now, were he Japanese, and honorable, he would, at this point, be at least considering seppuku. Melania would be happily sharpening the knife even as we speak. And the line to deliver the final coup de grace would be long, and giddy with anticipation.

Alas, he is neither Japanese nor honorable.

He is, instead, a toxic narcissist, who believes he is smarter than any lawyer or judge. Handsomer than any Hollywood star. Richer than Croesus. Braver than any soldier. Wiser than, well, ANYONE on the face of the earth. 

All of the bluster, all of the threats, all of the increasingly deranged posts on Truth Social, will fall on deaf ears. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Jack Smith is knocking at the door, and only the craziest, hardcore MAGAts remain by Trump's side.

#SAD.

And so, for Donald J. Trump, there is No Way Out. No Way Out. No Way Out.

Some Thoughts From An Angry Old Man

Ya know, if you have to constantly tell everyone that you're an "alpha male", you are definitely not an "alpha male". The proof to this is every guy on Twitter who claims to be an "alpha male".

The only way I can see this country ever having sane gun laws is if a whole bunch of elected Republicans get gunned down. Maybe then...

It's nice that the Supreme Court gets to set its own ethics code--and then ignore it. Nice for them, not for us.

Speaking of the Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas has set a standard for self-hating Black men that may never be broken. I have two words for Clarence: the first one is House...To be fair, he has to wake up next to Ginni most days, and isn't that punishment enough?

And one more thought regarding the highest court in the land: 23% of Americans identify as Catholic, but 66.6% of the Supreme Court are Catholics. And most of them seem to be practicing a positively Medieval version of Catholicism. They are stuck in the Darkest of Ages, and they want us all to join them.

If someone had beaten some sense into Donald J. Trump when he was a young man, he might have turned out to be less of a festering, sexually predatory, turd. Might. My late mother-in-law had a simple solution for rapists: Cut off their balls. She was not a violent woman, but you did not want to cross any of the lines she drew.

Every time I hear "Macho Man" for the rest of my life I will think of a morbidly obese man, wearing a ton of makeup, kitten heels, a poorly fitting blue suit,  a clownishly long red tie, a diaper, and something pretending to be "hair" on his empty head. This is probably not what the Village People had in mind.

Marjorie Taylor Greene desperately wants to be Trumpie the Clown's running mate. The best she can reasonably hope for is adjoining cells.

Kari Lake will never be governor, but there are openings at Fox Nausea--I mean Fox "News", and all she has to do is keep lying her fool head off and she's as good as hired. You go girl!

Signor Baseball's Somewhat Belated 2023 MLB Preview

It's really very simple: Some teams spend money and some teams don't.

The thing to remember is this: They all have money. They're all owned by billionaires or near billionaires or a consortium of very rich people.

Sure, the major market teams have more money. The local TV money for the Yankees or Dodgers is much greater than it is for the Royals or Pirates. Life isn't fair, after all.

But every team has enough money to spend to be competitive.

So, if your favorite team consistently fails to sign free agents--or keep young talent once their rookie deal expires--it's not because they can't. It's because they don't want to.

With that in mind, here goes:

AL East

Arron Judge can hit 70 homers and the Yankees still won't have enough pitching.  And there isn't a weak team in the AL East to fatten up against. So...

As of this writing the Tampa Bay kids are 14-3. If they can maintain that pace, I'm guessing that 135-27 will probably win the division.

Toronto is good, too. No glaring weaknesses, unless you count that AstroTurf field of theirs. UGH.

Baltimore is better than they have been. Probably not good enough yet to win the division, but certainly good enough to cause problems for the other teams.

Boston isn't better than they have been. But the Red Sox will still find a way to be competitive. And no matter what their record, nobody wants to have to play important games against them at Fenway in September. Things can get weird up there in a hurry.

New York may have to settle for a Wild Card--if that.

AL Central

Minnesota, Cleveland and Chicago are all flawed teams. And each has a chance to win this division. The Twins pitching isn't very deep, the Indians don't have too many power bats, and the White Sox desperately need Mike Clevenger to return to Cy Young contender form. It wouldn't be surprising for a team right around .500 to win the division. Whatever their relative weaknesses, somebody has to win. Let's go with the Guardians to repeat. But it wouldn't be much of a surprise if Minnesota or Chicago won.Very little chance of a Wild Card team here.

Elsewhere in the Central, Kansas City and Detroit are just bad.

AL West

This is still Houston's division. Even without Verlander, I don't see them being caught by any of the other West teams. Seattle has the best shot if the Astros suffer a whole bunch of injuries or a few season long slumps. Finishing a strong second should get the Mariners a Wild Card slot.The single best thing that could happen for baseball is for the Angels to make the playoffs. Trout and Ohtani haven't even sniffed the post season--and that verges on the criminal. And if they don't make it this year, and it's a long shot, Shohei Ohtani may decide to move on to greener pastures. This isn't basketball and merely having 2 great players doesn't guarantee anything.

Texas added Jacob DeGrom, who has spent the last three years injured off and on. Healthy he's an ace. But he hasn't been consistently healthy in a long time. So...good luck with that.

Speaking of luck, out in Oakland, the A's run of luck with money ball has simply run out. They will not be scrappy over achievers. They will simply be bad.

NL East

Well, if the Mets don't win this year, there will be one very unhappy hedge fund billionaire. Having spent 350 million bucks on his team's payroll, anything short of the World Series should be considered a failure.

And Atlanta is right there, hoping to help them fail. The Braves can seemingly reload on the fly without suffering a decline. Nice trick. Probably a solid Wild card pick--maybe take the division if the Mets falter.

Philadelphia spent a whole bunch of money only to finish 14 games out last season. They are still spending a whole bunch of money this year, and chances are they'll still finish way back of the Mets and Braves. They're not a bad team, they're just in a very tough division.

Miami has great starting pitching and not much offense. The Dodgers of 60 years ago used to regularly win World Series with that combination. But that was then and this now, and the way the ball flies these days, you better have a few big boppers to go with those good young arms.

And in D.C. the Nationals have spent the years since their World Series victory divesting themselves of almost all of their talent. An interesting approach, to be sure.

NL Central

Like the AL Central, we're looking at teams with a few weaknesses. 

St. Louis looks to be the best bet, with Milwaukee right behind them. The Cards are consistently solid--not great, but always competitive. And the Brewers are developing the same sort of consistency.

Chicago added some good pieces, but not quite enough to win the division. Pittsburgh keeps finding good young talent and then losing them to free agency. And Cincinnati will battle the Pirates for last place, yet again. Two good baseball towns doomed by bad ownership.

NL West

This may be the year that the Dodgers don't win the West. They still have an edge in pitching, but damn that every day San Diego lineup is scary. Probably whichever team finishes second will be a lock for a Wild Card.

The Giants are rebuilding, but .500 should be attainable. And their ballpark is still one of the best, if not the best in the MLB.

The Rockies are always rebuilding.

In Arizona, the Diamondbacks have a whole bunch of young (potential) talent. If the majority of them pan out, they will be at least competitive. If the majority of them don't pan out, it will be another long season. The highlight of which will be the constant whining from their front office about the physical state of their stadium. 

Which, even when brand spanking new, has always had all of the charm of a Costco. Such is life.