Monday, August 27, 2012

Blow Hard

This is one of my favorite times of the year.

A hurricane, named Isaac in a nice biblical twist, and what, in other circumstances, noted televangelist Pat Robertson would surely call "the vengeful act of a just God", is poised to rip through a bunch of deeply Red States.

The citizens of these states, and their elected officials, God fearing, Gun Lovin' Republicans for the most part, who spend the rest of the year complaining about the "evil meddlin' Federal gubmint", "anti-American liberals", "wicked gays", "welfare queens with their Cadillacs", and "all those people (and we all know who they mean) looking for a handout and taking advantage of the rest of us" will soon be on their collective knees begging for Federal relief. The hypocrisy of the Red States is deep and wide...and apparently never ending.

The relief they clamor for will come in large part from the taxes paid by those Blue States that our southern cousins so despise.

This happens in some form or other like clockwork and yet I never tire of it...

I must admit, though, with apologies to Mr. Robertson, that it seems to me that a truly "just" God would wait until all the billionaire pillagers who prop up the Republican Tea Party are celebrating in Tampa and then completely level the know, like Sodom and Gomorrah.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Religious Notes From All Over

According to a story in the August 19th edition of The Arizona Republic, the Diocese of Phoenix missed its self-imposed deadline of June 14th to publish a list of how many of its priests were involved in sexual misconduct and how much this "misconduct" cost the Diocese. You know, in legal fees, hush money, etc.

We will set aside for the moment the fact that it apparently took the keen journalistic minds of the Republic two months to realize that the deadline had passed. The Republic exists to sell advertising and keeping too close a watch on actual news interferes with that.

No, let us instead ask if the Diocese's delay was caused by the breathtaking number of molesting priests and/or the astronomical amount of money spent on damage control. Perhaps they are simply ashamed? Or perhaps they are simply still counting....

The latest figure I could find for the amount of money spent nationally by The One True Church to make amends for the, let us say, sins committed by "the Shepherds of the Flock" is $3.3 Billion.

That's $3,300,000,000.

And that's a lot of dough.

You might say "gee, if the Bishops had just kept a closer watch on their priests most of that money could have been spent to help the poor and hungry, the ill and homeless."

Obviously you don't understand how the wealthy international holding company that calls itself The Catholic Church works.

Oh God Bless you naive and trusting souls! Have I got a religion for you!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

And Ye Shall Know Him By His Enemies

Let's see...

On one side you've got Barack Obama. You know, the Kenyan, anti-colonial, Marxist, socialist, Muslim? Yeah, that guy.

Set aside for a second that he isn't a Kenyan, he isn't a Marxist or a socialist, and he isn't a Muslim.

As for being anti-colonial, well, hell, our country was founded by a bunch of anti-colonialists. Do the names Franklin, Jefferson, Washington, Hamilton, Adams, and Madison ring a bell? Being a pro-colonialist is very 17th Century.

Anyway, this Obama guy is a nice enough fellow. Charming. Lovely family. Very smart. Way too accommodating to his opponents. Still can't seem to get it through his head that he's dealing with a bunch of nihilist assholes who have only one goal: destroy him. Fortunately, as the election draws nearer, this appears to be changing.

And on the other side, his enemies, if you will:

Mitt Romney: serial liar. Cat can't go a day without lying about something. At this point it seems to be habitual. He even lies about the one semi-good thing he ever did as governor of Massachusetts. I tell you, he really can't help himself. Tax evader. Oh, he loves his country, sure. Didn't you see the little flag pin on his lapel? He just loves his money more. Tremendous sense of privilege that comes from being a wealthy male member of a patriarchal religion. He and his "let them eat cake" wife deserve each other.

Paul Ryan: also a serial liar; and from the National Socialist haircut he sports, (seriously, take a close look at some newsreel footage from the 1930's. All the brownshirts have the same 'do), to the Ayn Rand nonsense he spouts, he is a complete fraud. Ryan's family made their fortune on government contracts. And his wife was a lobbyist. So, once again we have a Republican who thinks the government should only work for them. "I got mine--fuck you!" He is considered an "intellectual force" in Republican circles. That should tell you all you need to know about the brain power at work in the GOP these days.

Rush Limbaugh: let's play a word association game. When I say "fat racist radio scum" who comes to mind?

Rupert Murdoch: his Fox News is ground zero for the Get Obama Gang. It is made up of halfwits, cranks and liars. And appeals to the same. You would need a Kray super computer to tally all of the misinformation that spews out Fox News in a single day. In a truly "fair and balanced" world old Rupe and his boy would spend the rest of their lives in an English gaol. And they just might.

Donald Trump: what a piece of work. Most loudmouthed developers of a certain age are content to just flash their money, marry their fourth or fifth wives, stamp their names in gold foil on everything they can, and skip off to Switzerland for their quarterly monkey gland treatments. Not Trump. No, the Man With The Improbable Hair thinks people a) like him, b) value his opinions, and c) would vote for him for president. (Well, maybe president of a restricted country club--if nobody else was running.) After hinting that he might run for the highest office in the land, Trump (as in Hump, Dump and Rump) has taken over the reins of the Crazy Birther Wagon and he's gonna ride that empty thing until he can't ride it no more! He would never, never really run for President because a)  he isn't up to it intellectually, which would become apparent in the first few minutes of any debate he would enter, and b) he would be afraid to let anyone look too closely at his finances, because he isn't worth anything close to what he claims to be worth.

Of course there are many, many others: Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Bill O'Reilly, Sarah Palin, Sheldon Adelson, the Koch brothers, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Glenn Beck, Darrell Issa...the list of swine is long... but time is short...and I'm sure by now you get the idea.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Bain-Pain 2012

So Willard Mitt Romney has named a VP candidate. I really didn't think it would be Eddie Munster, but apparently I was wrong.

What this says to me is that the attacks on Romney about Bain Capital, his tax returns, and his severe lurch to the right to appease the base are all working. It wouldn't surprise me if his high dollar campaign donors (the Koch Brothers, Sheldon Adelson, etc.) dictated this move as they saw Willard's poll numbers go in exactly the wrong direction. Sort of an ultimatum as it were -- give us the guy we want who we actually believe we can trust to do what we want, or the funding dries up faster than the Arizona desert after a monsoon.

There are a few good things about this pick for the Democrats. First, it allows the campaign to make this an election about choice rather than a referendum on the Obama presidency, a change I'll guarantee campaign hq in Chicago has been praying for. After all, with unemployment and the economy absolutely stuck with no sign on the horizon for a positive move anytime in the near future (thanks Tea Party obstructionists), Obama certainly doesn't want to run on his record at the present time.

Second, over the next few weeks the term "end Medicare as we know it" is going to be imprinted on every voter's brain. I guarantee not a day will go by between now and November 6 without you hearing that phrase -- and it plays right into the hands of the Democrats. Romney has been running using the idea that the ACA cuts Medicare, but now he's married to the guy who wants to cut it completely. I don't see how he can continue that meme, but I have no doubt they'll try. It just won't work.

Ryan claims that his budget will cut the deficit and the debt severely over the next 10 years without raising taxes on the middle class -- but every reputable economist that I've read says just the opposite. You see, there is no way that that you can give huge tax cuts to the rich without paying for them and simultaneously increase the defense budget significantly without both raising taxes on the poor and middle class and cutting to the bone or eliminating the social net completely. I've got to believe that there are enough rational people out there under 54 (and even those above) who will see through this. It's just not possible to do what Ryan's budget says -- the math doesn't add up no matter how you try to juice the numbers.

Romney has said we don't need anyone from Congress anywhere near the White House -- instead it needs to be someone with business and executive experience. Yet now he hires the GOP face of Congress, a man whose business experience consists of driving the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile to be his running mate. You can't have it both ways, Mitt, and Jim Messina, David Plouffe and David Axelrod will know how to exploit this latest flip-flop from Mr. 1%. I also find it amusing that Mitt now says his business life should now be off the table -- it's only issues we should be discussing. This from the man who has been running for President for six years based on his business experience. I would argue that his business experience and his tax returns are entirely germane to the campaign, because they tell us what his Mittness is likely to do regarding economic policy in the country.

If I were the Obama campaign, I would immediately offer a new bumper sticker to every one of my supporters -- "Bain-Pain 2012." You see, it will be Bain and it's ilk running the country on policies that will bring immense pain to all the non-millionaires out there.

I would also hit every retirement community in every swing state either personally or with a surrogate reminding them of exactly what this will mean for Social Security and Medicare, even if they won't personally be affected. I'll bet they won't like the idea of their kids and grandkids being shut out of these programs that are part of our way of life in order to feed more money to those who don't need it, no matter what they say.

Thank you Willard. You've made me and every Democrat, liberal and progressive in the country very happy this weekend.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Texas Executes Man With 61 IQ

When I saw the headline "Texas executes man with 61 IQ" my first thought was, well gee, who's going to be governor now?

But it turns out it wasn't Rick Perry after all. No, not George W. Bush either.

Now, maybe you thought that the Supreme Court had ruled in 2002 that a state couldn't execute a "mentally retarded" person because it violated the 8th Amendment's prohibition of cruel and unusual punishment.

The Supreme Court did in fact say that, but hey, don't mess with Texas!

Besides, a person with a 61 IQ isn't considered to be "mentally retarded" in the Lone Star State.

I'll leave a space here for you to make up your own jokes:

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Socialism At Work Again

Big news in these parts!

Luke Air Force Base, pride of the west Valley, has been chosen to host the F-35 fighter program!

According to The Arizona Republic this will result in a thousand new jobs and hundreds of millions of dollars pumped into the local economy!

Only one problem: It can't be true.

Because, as any good Republican will tell you, government has never created a single job.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Gore Vidal - Gone Too Soon

Today is a sad day in American letters. Gore Vidal has passed away.

My friend David recommended to me 27 years ago that I read Vidal's Lincoln. I did and I've been hooked since then. His series of novels on American history is a series that I believe everyone should read at some point, the sooner the better.

Vidal was also a brilliant political essayist, someone who could promote controversial ideas in absolutely riveting terms. In 2002 he laid out one of the best possible cases for NOT going to war in Iraq, and history proved him to be correct. R.I.P. Gore Vidal.

You will be sorely missed.