For Sale: One Country, Slightly Used

There are some people who can only see dollar signs wherever they look.

They've always been with us and they always will be.

But we haven't let them run the government in many, many years.

Now we have an Executive office, a Congress and a Cabinet filled with people who need to monetize anything they can get their hands on.

The idea of a public commons is completely anathema to them.

They need to figure some way to charge as much as they can for everything.

Public Education? Check!

Health care? Check!

National Parks? Check!

Social Security? They're working on it!

What's next? Our air and water?

Maybe.

It's Nothing Personal. It's Just Business.

Remember old Joe Stalin?

Psychopathic murderer of millions--friend and foe alike?

Fred Koch's business partner? (look it up.)

Yes, the Koch Bros' daddy made a fortune doing business with Stalin Inc. aka the Soviet Union.

But hey, a bucks a buck! Am I right?

And as long as there are dollars to be made, it really doesn't matter how they are made.

Or with whom.

That is the reductio ad absurdum of capitalism.

Therefore, the Koch Brothers will pollute all the air and water they have to to extract every last ounce of oil or coal or minerals or whatever it is...

And why they would sell off our national parks to the highest bidders.

You might see these parks as an ongoing gift to all of us. Part of our common inheritance.

That's where you're wrong. You'll never get rich, certainly not Koch rich, with that kind of socialist thinking. What the national parks really are are under-performing assets. And every asset needs to be maximized.

Now, you might think that's crazy, but when you see every single thing on earth as a potential dollar to be made, it makes perfect sense.

The Road to Damascus

As I sit here, sipping my sambuca and pondering the glory that was Rome, I'm starting to warm to the whole Republican Tea Party "I got mine--@%#&* You!" mantra. Because, like any good Patriot, I have grievances.

First of all, I've been paying for the public schools through my property taxes for years and my kid goes to a private school. He's doing just fine--thanks for asking--and I really don't care what kind of education your kid gets. In fact, to hell with your kid. So, I'd like all that money back.

Secondly, I don't need a freeway to Mesa. I have no intention of going to Mesa, so don't tax me to build roads to Mesa. Or Gilbert, or Surprise, or any of those sad little places. I only need roads to places I go. To hell with all those places I don't go, and the people who live there. I don't need them.

I don't need libraries either. Close them all, sell the buildings and the books, and send me a check.

I don't need police--I have a gun. Don't need the fire department either. So give me that money back, too. If your house catches on fire, as far as I'm concerned that's your problem. And don't bother me with your problems.

Poor people need my help? @%#&* 'em. That'll teach them to be poor. They get what they deserve. Hungry children? @%#&* 'em, too. They should've picked wealthier parents. And don't even start with all those 'desperately ill' people looking for a handout. Is it my fault they're sick? No, it is not. Just keep them away from me, OK? I have rights, too, you know?

The whole idea of community and a public commons is socialist bullshit. Me, me, me, me. Mine, mine, mine, mine. Gee, this is fun!