Is Anyone Really Surprised That Bill O'Reilly Is A Pig?

I mean, really?

Come on now.

Take a good look at him.

Everything about Bill-O screams "OINK".

The clincher, the cherry on top, is that Der Trump says Bill-O is "a good person".

Uh huh. Birds of a feather, et cetera.

That endorsement from our "so-called President" should be all you need to convict, ladies and gentlemen.

But, of course, the people who watch Fox Faux News religiously are pigs their ownselves, so...

Motherfucker fits right in.

Meet Trump's Cabinet

Chief of Staff: Steve "Even Sewer Scum Thinks I'm Awful" Bannon.

Secretary of State: Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin. Of course, that's only if Putin is too busy to do the job.

Attorney General: Jeff "If'n You Want To Start A Race War, I'm Yer Peckerwood" Sessions. I guess we're not going to "throw her in jail" now, are we? There's still a very long enemies list to get through.

National Security Advisor: General Michael "Kill Anyone Who Doesn't Love Jesus" Flynn.

Secretary of Defense: John "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Iran" McCain. I know they've had their differences, but surely they can agree on nuking some folks, can't they? The Chickenhawk and the Professional POW. Sounds like a great buddy movie.

Department of Homeland Security: Milwaukee County Sheriff David "Constitution? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Constitution" Clarke. See, he's black so that means they're not racists, right? Yes, he is black, but the old, ugly phrase "house ni**er" comes to mind.

Secretary of the Interior: Is James Watt dead? If so, then whomever the Koch brothers want will do. We've got a lot of federal lands to despoil. Those National Parks aren't going to privatize themselves!

Secretaries of Education, Energy, Housing and Urban Development, Health and Human Services: you're kidding, right?

And of course, since Trump will need all the help he can get, there will have to be some new positions:

Minister of Misinformation: Roger Ailes.

Minister of Culture: Ted Nugent.

Minister of Bile: Rudy "Frothing at the Mouth" Guiliani. Naturally, he has to be cleared for rabies first.

Minister of Truly Bad Ideas:  John "Anyone Who Listens To Me Is A Fool" Bolton. Regime change? In Iran?  Beautiful. It's good to see Bolton hasn't lost a step.

Minister(s) of Internal Compliance: All those armed Trump supporters can take turns keeping the rest of us, the majority by the way, in line.

Gonna be a fun 4 years.

Dante's Inferno Revisited

They're adding another circle to hell just for Trump and his supporters.

It's going to be the best!

Very yooge and beautiful and very, very classy!

The Guiliani Lounge is spectacular.

And the Chris Christie Vomitorium is, well, exactly what you'd expect.

Plenty of room for expansion, too.

If you have to spend eternity burning for you sins, this is the place to do it!

How They're Preparing For The Debates

Hillary Clinton begins her days going over briefing papers covering the economy, terrorism, foreign policy, and a whole range of domestic issues.

After a short break for lunch, it's off to the nearest psych ward to practice chatting with a babbling psychotic.

Then it's time for a wide ranging policy discussion with a bevy of experts.

And finally, Clinton spends an hour each day at the zoo's monkey cage, dodging their flung feces. You know, just in case.

Meanwhile, in between daydreaming about schtupping Ivanka, and stuffing himself with fast food, Trump reads Mein Kampf for inspiration before he and his key adviser Roger "Come To Daddy" Ailes discuss their favorite insults about women, blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, Jews, and poor people in general.

Should be an interesting night.

Hold On A Minute

We did not become the richest and most powerful nation on earth by being regressive, reactionary, know nothings.

We did it (gasp) by being progressive.

By embracing The New. By embracing Change. By embracing Progress.

Not at first, of course. And certainly not all at once.

But eventually, having exhausted all other possibilities, we usually do the right thing.

Despite all of our flaws, and yes there are a few, Americans are generally an optimistic, progressive people.

Oh, not all of us.

Some of us remain dumb as a post.

And that's the problem: we've been cutting way too much slack for our stupider citizens.

The supposedly "liberal" media sat back and let the Limbaughs, Drudges, Breitbarts, and Fox News' folks of the world get away with lying for too long.

Yes, everybody is entitled to their own opinions. But not to their own imaginary "facts".

And sometimes stupid people need their stupidity pointed out to them, loudly and repeatedly.

Because if you don't, they start to believe all the crap they hear from their "fair and balanced" sources.

And stupid just gets stupider...

The Scum Also Rises

The Trump campaign, if you can call a smoldering pile of horse shit a campaign, has now done what once was thought nearly impossible:

Take a good look at--and this hasn't happened since John Connally joined the Nixon White House-- rats swimming towards a sinking ship.

Breitbart refugee Steve Bannon and Roger Ailes? That's the best Il Trumpo could do?

Poor thing. I guess Scott Baio and Gary Busey were busy.

But what about Sarah Palin? Surely she could use the paycheck? Of course, Trump is famous for not paying people who have worked for him, so...

He surrounds himself with the scum of the earth and voters are supposed to trust his judgment?

My God, after all this time, this cretin still has people believing his every word!

Brace yourself. The next few weeks will be indescribably grotesque, as Der Trump, realizing that he will lose and lose big, goes into "no lie too awful" mode. Not for the faint of heart.

Regarding Roger Ailes

Looks like that fat oily bastard Roger Ailes will have to start paying for his, uh, "female companionship" and not just grope them by the water cooler, or trap them behind his no doubt enormous desk.

Fortunately, that other oily bastard, Rupert The Pirate, gave Roger a large sum of money to "please just go away!"

Because, you know, propriety.

And standards.

The newlywed (stifle gag reflex here) Rupert Murdoch doesn't need this kind of problem in his dotage.

Whatever the amount settled on Ailes, it's a small price to pay for all the damage he and his toadies at that festering pit of lies, distortion, dog whistles, fools, dweebs and crackpots, that dares to call itself a "news" organization, have done to the public discourse over the last two decades.

But they did manage to hoodwink the rubes and make a ton of money in the process, so it's all good!

Last Night I Had This Crazy Dream...

Willard Mitt Romney was elected president and to celebrate the Koch brothers threw a big party for all of their friends. Justices Scalia,Thomas, Kennedy, Alito and Roberts were there. And Grover Norquist, Rush Limbaugh, Roger Ailes, Paul Ryan, Allen West, Donald Trump, Sarah Palin and all the rest of the goon squad. Oh, it was grand!

They laughed and laughed about what saps the American people were. Such sheep, so easily led, with no historical perspective and prone to believing whoever shouted the loudest and the longest, true or not.

The party got wilder and wilder as they took turns screaming out the next steps in their plan:

"Privatize Social Security!" "Vouchers for Medicare!" "Do away with the EPA!" "Criminalize abortion!" "Do away with Public Education!" "Drill Baby Drill", "Privatize! Privatize! Privatize!"

They were having such a fantastic time they didn't notice the fire that started when Limbaugh and Chris Christie, wrestling over the last shrimp, knocked a sterno can over.

The fire sprinkler system had been made in China (cheaper steel) and assembled by non union labor (cheaper labor).

Because of government cut-backs (necessary austerity measures) the understaffed city safety inspector's office had been too busy to inspect it properly.

And even if it had worked, the antiquated water main (circa 1900) was leaky (infrastructure repairs aren't as important as cutting taxes) and couldn't carry the necessary pressure.

The Fire Department, which was suffering from its own cutbacks and from constantly being demonized as "union thugs", arrived too late.

So they all burned to death.

Oh, it was grand!