It's Simple

People who think that the President is responsible for gas prices don't really understand how Capitalism works. They also seem to have forgotten all about the war in Ukraine and the general perfidy of Saudi Arabia.

People who think we're the only country suffering from inflation haven't taken a very close look at the rest of the world. They also seem to have forgotten a world wide pandemic which disrupted the normal supply chains. In fact, our inflation is relatively low compared to everywhere else.

So voting for Republicans based on those two items is, well, kind of stupid. 

However, there are some issues that should sway your vote.

For instance, one party wants to eliminate democracy, and one doesn't.

One party wants everyone eligible to vote to be able to vote--easily and safely. And one doesn't.

One party wants to help ALL of the people, and one just wants to help the rich.

One party wants to take the steps necessary to save the planet, and one doesn't give a fuck as long as there's a profit to be made.

So, unless you're a Putin loving total racist asshole, this really shouldn't be a hard decision.

If you're a female the choice is very simple.

You can vote for the Party that thinks of you merely as breeding stock,  a vessel to replenish the "domestic supply of infants", with little or no say in the manner. Face it, you're too "emotional" to make your own decisions. Even if you've been raped-or impregnated by a relative. Even if you're carrying a non-viable fetus.

Or you can vote for the Party that wants you to have autonomy over your body.

That's it.

That's all.

Dear MAGAts,

Apparently, there is a lot of hesitation in TrumpLand about getting the CoVid vaccines.

This is understandable. 

The vaccines are obviously a Deep State plot, funded by George Soros, Bill Gates, Cardi B, and Borat. 

Forget for a moment that Der Trump and Lady Be Best have already gotten vaccinated.

It's a Democrat trick and you are wise to reject it.

I'm urging all of you MAGAts to "just say NO!"

Of course, a lot of you will get sick. A not insignificant percentage of those will get very sick. I'm talking weeks in ICU sick. I'm talking heart, lung, kidney, and liver damage sick.

And some of you will die.

But FreeDumb is worth any price, right?

So, please, you go ahead and Do You.

Show us libtards what "real" Americans are made of.

And leave all the available vaccines for the "reality based" community. 

That'll show us.

Other Martha McSally Fundraising Ideas

You have by now, no doubt, skipped one meal and sent the money saved to Martha McSally--just like she asked.

However, sadly, that may not be enough!

It's becoming harder and harder for miserable right wing hacks to get all of the money they need to run a successful campaign. 

Despite what you may have heard, lies are not cheap these days--especially when you use them in bulk. And the Russians only have so much money.

So....Martha needs more help, i.e. dollars, and here are some ideas on how to get them for her:

Rob a liquor store. CoVid has led to more people drinking at home. So, liquor stores are flush right now! And Martha really needs you. What's a potential few years in jail if it means you helped Martha? Don't be selfish.

Steal from your family. I understand this is very popular in some quarters. And honestly, does Grandma really need all of that dough? I mean, what's she going to spend it on? Doilies? Tea? Come on, Grandma! Time to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about Martha McSally.

Stand on the corner with a sloppily lettered sign. Thanks to Der Trump's fantastic stewardship of the economy during the pandemic, the corners are getting very crowded. But there's always room for one more. And when they hear that you're doing it for Martha McSally, the real beggars will stand aside.

Remember, like all Republicans, Martha doesn't care where the money comes from, as long as it keeps on coming.

Get busy!

Demon Sperm? That Would Explain A LOT...

So Donald J. Trump has found himself a doctor he believes.

She happens to be just a little crazy, but hey, baby steps.

And, honestly, what else would you expect from our Orange Pig God? Sound medical advice? What, are you crazy, too?

To be fair, the concept of Demon Sperm makes a kind of sense.

How better to explain Trump and his entire worthless family of dweebs and grifters?

And Moscow Mitch McConnell. And Mike Pence. And Roger Stone. And almost everyone at Fox News. And Rush Limbaugh. And Jim Jeffords. And Louie Gohmert. And Rand Paul. And...

Golly, the list of the spawn of Demon Sperm is long and twisted, and almost completely Republican/Libertarian.

Go figure.

And we mustn't forget all of those "you can't tell me what to do!" MAGAts that refuse to wear masks because of what can only be called Free Dumb.

Yes, this Demon Sperm thing does explain a lot about the USA in 2020.

Well, That Didn't Work...Or: Brainstorming With The Trump Pandemic Response Team

So, pretending that something isn't happening doesn't make it stop happening?

Shocked! Shocked to find this out!

Imagine the medical possibilities if only it were true! An entire new field of, well, let's call them "alternative" treatments.

Your doctor says you have cancer, but you tell him you don't. And just like that, you don't have cancer! Same for diabetes, heart disease, STD's, indeed everything!

Unfortunately, that doesn't work. Damn shame, too.

I know! We stop counting the number of people who contract the disease.

Sure, the bodies will continue to pile up, but that's a small price to pay for peace of mind.

How about touting a "cure" that doesn't work and may actually kill people?

Tried it already. Anybody else?

We'll pretend that it's over!

And?

Tell everybody to just go back to work, or school, or church, or wherever they want.

With masks?

No. Masks are optional.

Why?

Because...uh...FREEDOM!

I like it!

Shouldn't we listen to the experts? I mean, like that Fauci guy?

Fuck him. Goddamn busybody.

Remember, in this case, we're the experts.

Oh, right.

The First American Freedom

Forget about religion, assembly, a free press, or bearing arms.

Ditto for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Take a good look around, and you'll see that the ur-American freedom is the freedom to be a complete, fucking, idiot.

That is the only possible explanation for Trump and his MAGAt followers.

And their little "protests".

And their little guns.

And their refusal to wear masks or social distance or believe in science in general.

It can all be traced back to their little, malfunctioning brains.

Oh, Go Ahead. Drink The Bleach!

You've followed him this far, so why not?

He's a traitor and a liar, a fool and a failure. A rapist, an adulterer, a racist and a conman. Everything he touches rots and dies. Quite possibly the most despicable human imaginable.*

But, dammit, he's your guy. And he needs you, desperately.

You think he's a genius. You think he's a great man. The greatest President ever! Right?

You've worked yourself into a religious frenzy at his rallies.

You wear the sacred MAGA hats.

Nothing and nobody is going to keep you from congregating with your fellow MAGAts.

That's what Freedom means! 

You froth at the mouth already, so...

Do your patriotic duty and drink the fucking bleach.

Mainline some hydroxychloroquine.

Oh, and while you're at it, shove a very powerful flashlight up your ass, too.

What do you have to lose?

*(Actually, he's in a dead heat with Moscow Mitch McConnell)

Jaws 2020

Time for a Jaws' reboot!

Of course, we'll have to change a few things to appeal to today's audience.

So, instead of a killer shark, we'll have a killer virus.

And instead of a small resort community, Amity, we'll use the entire USA.

Finally, we have to replace the idiotic mayor, who put money ahead of the safety of his citizens.

I'm thinking an idiotic, egocentric President, who (spoiler alert) also puts money before the safety of his citizens and who finally responds to the crisis by spending his time bragging about his TV ratings while people are dying.

For comic relief, he surrounds himself with a couple of token smart people whom he completely ignores (hahaha) and a whole bunch of dumb people, including his daughter and bumbling son-in-law, who worship him. Dumb people who think they're smart are always funny!

The heroes will be those brave people who find themselves fighting both the virus and the idiots--sometimes without the aid of the proper equipment.

Don't know how it ends, but I smell a hit!

God's Will

Listen up all of you fundamentalists.

Who are you going to trust?

A bunch of stupid so called "experts" and a bunch of godless scientists?

Or Jesus Christ and his number one chosen boy, Donald J. Trump?

Only a heathen would "stay at home" and follow some stupid social distancing guidelines designed to take away your right to congregate at the church of your choice.

Fuck that shit!

Rise up! Gather together in His name!

No virus is going to stop you! No siree!

No "laws of man" are going to stop you either!

Rub against each other. Writhe about on the floor. Sweat and shout in His name. Bunch together in holy piles. Those of you with snakes--and you know who you are--kiss those snakes!

And don't forget to bring a covered dish to share.

His might will protect you from some stupid virus.

And if it doesn't, well...that's God's Will, too. Right?

Jesus and Trump both want you to worship them. And none of that quiet, namby-pamby, stay at home worship, either.

No, they want, they demand, that all out, balls to the wall, hysterical caterwauling that you're just dying to deliver.

So get to it!

You've followed them this far, right?

Might as well follow them into the abyss.

So, This Is What It's Like To Have An Idiot In Charge During A Pandemic

Are you still alive?

Good.

Consider yourself fortunate.

Fortunate that you haven't listened to our #FakePresident's advice regarding the coronavirus pandemic.

This whole "what do experts know, anyway?" approach to government has come back to bite our sad nation's ass. Hard.

Turns out that government isn't the problem. Inept government is. And Republican is now officially a synonym for inept.

Turns out that a "government so small we can drown it in a bathtub" doesn't help much during a national, indeed worldwide, crisis.

(You can thank Ronald Reagan, the Republican Party, and that stooge Grover Norquist for much of the mess we're in.)

Toss in a spoiled, psychologically damaged fool in the White House and let the fun begin!

At this point, anybody still listening to our Grifter-in-Chief, or his Fox News' stooges, deserves to catch the virus.

Then, they'll either live or die. Toss a coin.

And all the prayers in the world won't change that.

It's Never EVER His Fault

At times like these it's very important to have a thoughtful, calm, intelligent, proactive person in charge.

Someone who has a complete grasp of the situation, who defers to experts, works tirelessly to solve problems, and is able to take the necessary steps to keep the populace from descending into a panicking mob.

Someone whose demeanor screams competence, whose words reflect a common human decency, and a compassion for those suffering.

Someone who is accountable and responsible.

Instead, we have what appears to be a heavily sedated orangutan.

An orangutan who has gone bankrupt several times.

Not his fault.

Who has been a serial adulterer.

Not his fault.

Who has been accused of rape by a number of women.

Not his fault.

Who gutted our pandemic response team.

Not his fault.

Who hasn't a clue about governing.

Not his fault.

Who doesn't give a damn about anything except his own appetites.

Not his fault. 

The one unchanging constant about our heavily sedated orangutan is that...

IT'S NEVER EVER HIS FAULT.

A Nagging Suspicion

Optimism is one of the foundational values* of this great land of ours.

You know, the whole "tomorrow will be better than today" bit.

After all, the first few generations of Americans were screw-ups who had to leave wherever they were for one of several reasons: Religious, political, legal, or maybe just that they had failed to achieve any kind of success in their native lands.

So they came here, to the Land of Hope and Dreams, like it says on the brochure.

And for many people and many years, it was just that...

Recently, though, I've had this nagging suspicion that maybe, just maybe, we've already seen the best of it. The good times are rapidly ending and it will be all downhill from here.

Probably not a Cormac McCarthy dystopia in my lifetime; but certainly unpredictably unpleasant times ahead for my children and grandchildren.

Let us list some of the many things that will queer the deal for the generations that follow us:

Climate change. For a "Chinese hoax" it's amazing how wide spread and enduring it is. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here, but I think the 98% of climate scientists who agree that it is man made and therefore men can do something about it might be right, and the 2% or so that argue against human causes, and who, by the way, are usually bought and paid for by oil and other extraction industries, might be wrong. When California burns to the ground, Miami is completely underwater, and bits of New York City, too, maybe the 2% will finally come around--if the checks from the Koch brothers and the oil companies stop, that is. Until then, by all means let's Drill Baby Drill!

Antibiotic resistant diseases. All those goodies they shoot into our chickens and cows and pigs to make them healthy enough so we can eat them, have several "unintended consequences". One is that strains of microbes pop up that fewer and fewer drugs can combat. We are nearing a pandemic of some unknown origin, and there may not be anything we can do to stop it. Oh well, you didn't want to live forever anyway, did you?

The worldwide lurch to "strong men" leaders. All dictatorships are essentially the same: one man in charge; his family and a few trusted people making out like bandits, literally; and much suffering for the masses. Everything for sale to the highest bidder, including the right to pollute the air and water. And you either acquiesce, or are labelled an "enemy of the state." There have always been a handful of dictators scattered across the planet, though in the latter part of the 20th century they were usually isolated in inconsequential backwaters. These days, however, it is extremely discouraging that many millions of Americans seem to be fine with this approach to governing.

So, here we are. The optimist in me says there's still enough time to "fix" things. The pessimist says we won't.

It was fun while it lasted.

 *(That and an amazing ability to gloss over all of our failures--but that's another story.)