Wednesday, November 25, 2015

If Anybody Knows Inept, It's Senator John McCain

This guy, the guy who's calling John Kerry "the most inept Secretary of State in my lifetime", is the same guy who wanted Sarah Palin to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency of the United States of America.

The same guy whose response to any turmoil in the world is "bomb 'em! Send in the troops! I said bomb 'em, dammit!"

The same guy who has never done anything for the state of Arizona in all his many years in the Congress.

Yeah, that guy.

So, hey, fuck John McCain, R-Halfcocked,  and fuck anybody who takes his senile prattle and sword rattling seriously.

Come on, enough is enough.

Friday, November 20, 2015

By A Thousand Cuts

Will ISIS, or ISIL or Daesh or whatever the fuck they're called, manage to carry out an attack in the US?

I don't know.

Trump can bluster, Lindsey Graham can clutch his pearls, Bill Kristol can call for a million troop deployment, John McCain can scream "I told you so!", Jeb "The Smart One Is A Relative Term" Bush can do whatever it is he does, Ted Cruz can act dead butch, and all the Fox News puppets and panderers can froth at the mouth about Obama's "weakness/incompetence".

None of them know either.

(Although it does seem like many of them would welcome it, if only to finally put that uppity negro is his place.)

I do know that from what I've read 9-11, which got us into this particular mess,  could have been prevented if we hadn't had a smirking frat boy simpleton and a slathering oil whore chickenhawk running things...

I also know that at some point in the not too distant future a white male psychopath, armed to the teeth thanks to our Supreme Court's interpretation of the Second Amendment and our esteemed Congress's fear of the NRA, and nursing some sort of grievance against "them", will shoot up an American school, or movie theatre, or shopping mall, or.....

That is indisputable.

Now, which do you think is more likely to happen first?

Oh, one more thing that is indisputable. If the crazy nihilist Muslims are here, it won't be very hard for them to get all the guns they want.

So, how's this for a campaign slogan:

"ISIS and the Republican Party: Working Together To Keep Americans Scared"

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Scared Stupid

It must be really hard to be a Republican these days.

You have to be scared all of the time.

Scared of black people!

Scared of brown people!

Scared of gay people!

Scared of women's reproductive systems!

Scared that the Army is going to attack Texas!

Scared that the terrorists are just outside the door, waiting to cut off your head!

Scared that our Muslim Kenyan Socialist President, who, by the way, won two national elections against the best your party could offer--and rather easily at that--is coming for your sacred guns!

And now, to top it off, you have to be scared of Syrian orphans!

Wow, all of that fear must be exhausting.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Grifter On Grifter Violence

So Donald Trump, who is a world class grifter, has turned on Dr. Ben Carson, who is strictly a minor league grifter.

Naturally, Dr. Ben, who is no stranger to violence-heh, heh, heh--struck back.

It's like a carny fight, something you'd see on a seedy midway, late at night, after one too many huffs of spray paint, with a Colt 45 chaser.

The Donald is quick to hit people with his great big, yooge in fact, wallet, whereas Dr. Ben uses his Bible and the word of God--as interpreted by Dr. Ben, of course.

And these two freaks are the leaders of your Republican Primary Dance Party circa 2015!


Sunday, November 8, 2015

How Sweet To Be An Idiot, or: Ben Carson For President

What to make of this guy?

And please don't tell me about the conjoined twins.

That was a feat of superior hand to eye coordination, and nerve, and it should be applauded.

Just like you would applaud a great pianist, guitarist, or that guy who juggles chainsaws.

Or a pick pocket, come to think about it.

But set aside his admitted accomplishments as a surgeon, and what else is there?

A series of idiotic statements, fabrications, and outright lies.

Seriously, the man says a lot of stupid things. Stupid things that he believes to be true to the very core of his being.

Irrespective of all those silly "facts" that we dangerous secular humanists insist on bringing up.

Dr. Ben Carson knows the truth! Facts be damned!

And that's what makes him an idiot.

Just like the people who think he's qualified to be President of the United States.

You know, looking back on his surgical achievements, the really remarkable thing is that he apparently did them with half a brain.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

More Republican Debate Demands

Laugh track.

Applause signs.

No "gotcha" questions. No hard questions. No questions. Just let us talk. That's what the American people want.

Don't look at us like that.

A choir.

When we lie, and we all will lie, repeatedly, don't you dare say anything.

Cool graphics. Like the Avengers.

Something to keep Carson from nodding off.

I said don't look at us like that!

More yooge. More fantastic. More winning.

Treat us with the respect we deserve.

As long as Jeb is still in the race, don't mention his brother.

(Note: find out if Jeb is still in the race)

Something for Marco Rubio to stand on. A stool, a phone book. Something.

Absolutely no fact checkers. For what are "facts" really? Just some so called "expert's" opinion.

Soft focus for Carly.

Trump's hair wants its own trailer.

Since nobody wants to stand next to Cruz, maybe we can green-screen him in.

Audience vetted by Fox News, the Koch brothers, and/or the KKK.

When we lie, and we all will lie, repeatedly, try to keep a straight face.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Is Carly Fiorina A Serial Liar? Discuss.

You gotta give it to her.

She sounds so confident, so certain, like she really believes what she's saying.

She spews it out without any fear of contradiction. And then defends it against all evidence to the contrary.

I think I read somewhere that that's one of the ways you can tell a true sociopath...

Anyway, from Planned Parenthood, to her job performance at Hewlett Packard, to President Obama's economic achievements, and all points in between, Carly just can't seem to tell the truth.

And while that makes her eminently qualified to be a Republican candidate for, well, anything and everything, it should kinda disqualify her to hold office in the real world.

Here's an idea Carly: move to Arizona or Texas or Florida, or any of the other New Confederacy states.

You'll fit right it!