metatag

Sunday, January 7, 2024

TOP SECRET: NSA Phone Intercept. 1.7.24 Moscow Station

(VP Kremlin direct line rings. Recording begins)

VP: Da?

DJT: Boss it's me.

VP: Who is "me"?

DJT: Donald

VP: (silence)

DJT: Your boy. Donald.

VP: I don't, uh, I don't recall any Donalds. You must have wrong number.

( call disconnects)

(VP Kremlin direct line rings)

VP: Hello?

DJT: Boss, we had a deal.

VP: Deal? 

DJT: Yes. Yes deal--

VP: What is this deal you say we had? 

DJT: You know, uh, our deal.

VP: No idea what you're talking about.

DJT: Boss, that's not funny.

VP: You know what's not funny? I will tell you. I put a lot of money into you and all your little friends over there. And what do I have to show for it? I will tell you. I have Ukrainian drones blowing up a lot of my stuff. I have sanctions freezing my money and my friends' money. I have NATO expanding while my armies are contracting, one corpse at a time. All in all I have royal pain in my ass.That's what I have to show for "our" deal.

DJT: But-

VP: I tell you, at this point all I can do for you is send some of my Mama's special tea. Old Russian recipe. Sip to your health.

DJT: But-

VP: Das vedanya.

DJT: (unintelligible)

VP: Bye bye.

(call ends)

(recording ends)

Monday, December 18, 2023

Monday, December 11, 2023

Punching Down

You can learn a lot about people by who they choose to attack.

For instance, Republicans always go after minorities.

ALWAYS.

Never powerful people. People able to strike back. People with deep enough pockets to defend themselves.

No. In fact they grovel before wealth.

Republicans much prefer attacking relatively powerless people.

Black people. Brown people. Young people. Gay people. Transgender people. Muslim people. Pick a minority and the Republicans will eventually attack it.

The only exception to this that I can think of is Jewish people.

Republicans don't generally attack Jewish people. (George Soros being a notable exception.) Mind you, this isn't because there isn't a rich strain of antisemitism running through The Big Tent. Always has been, always will be. No, it's just because there are enough wealthy Jews willing and able to hit back.

And when you punch back at a Republican, they generally run away with their tails between their legs.

They even attack women.

Of course this is because they're so fucking stupid that they think that women are a minority.

And just because most Republican women are content being breeding stock, they think that all women should be content being breeding stock.  

So they were shocked, shocked by the backlash against the Supreme Court overturning Roe v Wade. 

They finally got what they've dreamt about all these years, and quelle surprise, a large majority of Americans are pissed at them.

Good. Let them squirm and dissemble. Let them spew their States' Rights bullshit. Let them try to walk it back.

After years of making punching down a key part of their policy, they've picked a fight they cannot win.

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

The Real Problem

The real problem isn't that we have semi-human scum like Lauren "Handjob" Boebert, Marjorie Taylor "Calling Me Trailor Park Is An Insult To Trailor Parks" Greene, Andy "I Haven't Been Indicted Yet" Biggs, David "My Own Family Hates Me" Schweikert, Paul "What's Shakin?" Gosar, Jim "Let's Wrestle" Jordan, Matt "Venmo" Gaetz, James "There Is No Nickname You Can Give Me That Captures How Truly Loathsome I Am" Comer, Mike "It's In The Bible" Johnson, Virginia "Hateful Old Thing" Fox, John "Cornpone" Kennedy, Rand "In Putin's Pocket" Paul, Marco "Tiny Man Tinier Brain" Rubio, Rick "Medicare Fraud Hall Of Fame" Scott, and all the rest of those Republican assholes in Congress.

This is a big country, after all, and there are plenty of meretricious grifters. In fact, you might even say that meretricious grifting is one of our founding principles.

No, the problem is that there are millions of people willing to vote, over and over and over again, for these clowns.

After they have proven, time after time, that they have no interest at all in governing. They just want to perform.

Put on a little show for the cameras. Put on a little show for Traitor Don. Put on a little show for Putin and the Big Money Boys.

Maybe get some airtime on Fox "News". Or NewsMax, or OAN, or any of those other channels that only certifiable idiots watch.

But they are so fucking bad at it! I mean small town community theater BAD.

Every time they're certain that they have a gotcha question, an "ah hah!" moment, or a witness that will reveal everything...it inevitably blows up in their faces.

Every. Single. Time.

At this point, only a moron would fall for their schtick.

That's the real problem.

TOO MANY MORONS.

And apparently there's not a goddamned thing we can do about it, except cross our fingers and hope that the next CoVid surge thins out the herd a little.

No, not a little. 

A Lot.

Sunday, November 12, 2023

Running On Empty

For a 2 Party political system to function properly, you need two functioning political Parties. That's the bare minimum.

However, if you have one Party that wants to govern, create laws that help people, solve problems in the society, et cetera, and one Party that wants to behave like the monkey house at an underfunded, failing zoo, hurling their feces and shrieking, then, well, you've got a problem.

Time after time it has been proven that the majority of voters don't want what the Republicans are trying to serve them. On gun control, on voting rights, on abortion, on the minimum wage, on the environment, on everything, the people have said, over and over, "Nope".

You would think that they would take the hint, and try to come up with some policies that people like.

But, no, that's way too hard for the feces hurlers. That would require a certain degree of thought. And where's the fun in thinking? Thinking is hard. 

It's so much easier to just shriek a little louder and hurl another turd. Oh, and throw in something about Jesus, too.

Take a minute and try to think of one thing, one piece of legislation, that the Republican Party has come up with to help the majority of the American people. Not the bankers. Not the corporations. Not the Billionaires. The majority.

Nothing, huh? Not a goddamn thing.

Tax cuts for the rich? More guns for everyone? These are their favored policies. And all the proof you need that the Republicans have nothing to offer. 

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.


Saturday, September 30, 2023

Seriously, How Hard Is It To Condemn Nazis?

You would think that this is a no-brainer.

And, since it requires literally "no brain", it should be right up the Republicans' alley.

Alas, you would be wrong. Terribly wrong.

Nazis, who sane people recognize as the worst humanity has to offer, are marching all over Florida, a state with a Republican governor, two Republican U.S. Senators, and a majority of Republican U.S. Representatives.

None of whom can even pretend to be morally offended by this.

Let us be clear on this: people who don't condemn Nazis, loudly and repeatedly, are shit stains.

Of course, this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. 

After all, Governor Ron DeSantis has single-handedly reduced the entire education system of Florida, from pre-K to University, into a fucking sick joke. Senator Rick Scott still holds the record for Medicare fraud, Senator Marco Rubio, who at one time seriously thought he could be President (hold for laughter) needs help drinking from a small water bottle, and the state's most famous Congressman is Matt Gaetz. Uh huh.

Shit stains all.

Honestly, it doesn't take a lot of sense or courage to denounce Nazis. 

However, it does take a bit of human decency, which is obviously more than any of them have.

To be fair, Nazis are still a reliable Republican voting block, so this could simply be a case of not wanting to offend your base.


Saturday, July 29, 2023

Some Stuff I Learned From Republicans

Apparently, slavery was kinda like an internship. You didn't get paid--but you learned a lot of very valuable skills. And the raping, tearing apart of families, senseless brutality, selling off of your children, constant threat of death for offending your "masters" were WORTH it. Plus, you got room and board, in addition to the skills you were learning. 

And you could take these skills with you when you left the plantation. But you couldn't leave the plantation except by dying, or being sold to another plantation, or trying to run away to a free state--except they'd hunt you down, even in a free state, because the Supreme Court said that was OK! But the point is,  if you could have gotten away from that HELL ON EARTH, you'd have a very nice set of marketable skills. So stop complaining. And try to be just a little grateful.

Lying, cheating, and stealing are OK--if a Republican does it.

It's impossible for a Republican to commit treason. And if they do, well, that's OK too.

Any money is good money, never mind the source. In fact, never mention the source, if you can avoid it.

Nazis aren't that bad. Not really. No, what they are is a reliable bloc of conservative votes.

Vladimir Putin is a great man. A strong man. A manly man.

Drag queens are much more dangerous than automatic weapons.

Global Warming is a myth. Those 30 days of 110 degrees or more weather in Phoenix, Arizona are just a little thing called Summer. This is perfectly normal.

Women are primarily breeding stock.

Donald J. Trump is a good business man.

Donald J. Trump is a good Christian.

Donald J. Trump is a patriot.

Democrats raise children--or steal them--for their blood.

January 6th was just a normal Capitol tour that got a little out of hand.

Low information voters are the best voters.