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Friday, March 24, 2017

Ya Get What Ya Paid For

So, Vlad "The Elector" Putin helped put Donald J. Trump in the White House.

Can we at least agree on that?

Good.

Now, the big question is, what does Vlad expect in return?

I'm betting it's a little more than semi-coherent tweets praising him.

Der Trump has already backed off on supporting the Ukraine.

And his Secretary of State is a decorated hero of the Russian Republic.

Next up?

Well, what about gutting NATO? Vlad would like that. Give him some breathing room.

And dismantling the European Union would certainly help Trump's Russian "friends".

Also, let's be sure to alienate our British allies.

(I'm betting that if you dug deeply enough into the whole Brexit thing you'd find some Russian money and Russian espionage on the pro-Brexit side.)

Frankly, there's no limit to the mayhem Putin's hand puppet might wreak on the world.

Tired of winning yet?




Monday, March 20, 2017

For Sale: One Country, Slightly Used

There are some people who can only see dollar signs wherever they look.

They've always been with us and they always will be.

But we haven't let them run the government in many, many years.

Now we have an Executive office, a Congress and a Cabinet filled with people who need to monetize anything they can get their hands on.

The idea of a public commons is completely anathema to them.

They need to figure some way to charge as much as they can for everything.

Public Education? Check!

Health care? Check!

National Parks? Check!

Social Security? They're working on it!

What's next? Our air and water?

Maybe.


Thursday, March 16, 2017

The World's Most Dangerous Ego Trip

Have you seen the Orange One lately?

He has a look on his bloated face that screams "What The Fuck Have I Done? Get Me Out Of Here!"

To say he is in over his head is to put it mildly.

He does not have a clue.

What one might charitably call his "business career" has been built entirely on demands and threats.

He may think he is a dictator. But he is not. What he is is a petulant child, trapped in the decaying body of a senior citizen.

So he will bluster and tweet, looking for enemies, taking umbrage at the slightest hint that he is, uh, what's the word? Oh yes, Incompetent, with a capital I.

He would never acknowledge that, of course.

He has a tremendous respect for his big brain.

Unfortunately, believing you have a "big brain" is not the same thing as having a big brain.

And the damage he and his unbound ego will do is immeasurable.

I don't know how you feel about the whole concept of karma.

But if there's anything to it, anything at all, Donald J. Trump will be facing a hurricane shitstorm of bad karma for the rest of his worthless life.

So, at least we have that to look forward to.


Sunday, March 12, 2017

Let 'Em Die

So now, after all these years, we finally get to see what the Republican version of healthcare, let's call it Trump(Doesn't)Care, looks like:

If you're rich, here's some more! Big surprise there.

If you're middle class, thanks for your vote, but you're more or less on your own. Good luck!

And if you're poor, well, if you get sick, better find some money from somewhere, or better still, just die quickly.

Tired of winning yet?

It's always a treat to watch billionaires and millionaires take things away from poor people.

Education, health care, a living wage, safe workplaces, primacy over your body, clean air and water--whatever.

Most of the people who do this are proud to identify as "Christians."

That's really very funny when you stop to think about it.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Another Page From The Diary of V. Putin

What have I gotten myself into here?

Sure, it sounded like, how you say, good deal.

Win or lose, this Trump helps undermine that Clinton woman. So we support this Trump even though no one can conceive of circus clown actually winning. That doesn't matter, though.

Because he will weaken Clinton woman, and make her Presidency less successful.

What happens next is still stunning to me.

Circus Clown wins!

Which is....I don't know....I still don't know.

But always have fall back position. I learned this at KGB school. And fall back position is that "Hey Trump, we helped elect you as Americanski President and now you do our bidding. Or else."

Why 'or else'? Because we know everything about him. Everything. Every little thing. Ha! And this is key, he owes us money. Much money. Much more money than he can ever repay. Simple, da?

No wars. No shootings. No breaking treasury with arms race.

Nyet. Just one day Americanski wake up from opioid induced stupor and Russian stooge is in White House.

Surprise!

Good joke, no?

But as old Russian saying tells us: be careful what you wish for.

Let me tell you something, dear diary: I read all the "fake news" I can get. Pravda. You know, "truth"? And I cannot believe what it is that I am reading. No sane man acts this way.

If I wasn't at heart godless communist I would say "Jesus Christ! What is this idiot doing?"

This is not the kind of instability I was hoping for.

So, we will, we must, find solution...

Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Enigma Of The Republican Party And Republicans In General

It's simply this: Not wanting to be seen as complete assholes while always acting like complete assholes.

They really can't help themselves.

They truly believe, deep down, that, despite all of their actions, they are not assholes. No, what they really think they are is patriots. It's the rest of us who are un-American. Us and our so-called facts.

Their hypocrisy is breathtaking and total. About everything.

And it gets tedious for the rest of us to have to constantly point it out.

Maybe that's the plan.

We'll get tired and finally just throw up our hands and say "Fine. Do whatever you want. Wreck the country. Wreck the world."

Monday, February 27, 2017

Yep, Trent Franks Is Still An Idiot

Trent Franks (sigh) is a Republican United States Congressman from my state (sigh) Arizona.

He is demonstrably an idiot, but that has never stopped, that will never stop the good, God (and everything else) fearing, abortion hating, members of his benighted district. The district includes one of those anti-septic enclaves full of old, retired, reactionary fuckers built by Del "Why yes, I did make a lot of money building casinos for the Mob. What are you inferring?" Webb. When Pete Townshend wrote "hope I die before I get old" these were exactly the kind of old people he was afraid of becoming...but I digress.

The fact that Trent is a couple of chromosomes shy of a full load is apparent to anyone who has ever seen a picture of Trent. I don't know what you call them now, but my grandmother used to call them mongoloids.

But no matter. Like Louie "Yes, I really am this stupid" Gohmert, who is his equal as an intellect and statesman, Franks is in the US Congress and you aren't. So there, loser!

Trent's latest, uh, faux pas, which is French for "every time Trent Franks opens his mouth", is his urgent warning that terrorists will smuggle atomic bombs in bales of marijuana.

Let that sink in for a minute and get back to me...

PS Remember the "you lie!" guy? Well, I've got 5 grand for the first member of Congress who yells "traitor" while the Liar in Chief is spewing. Consider it a contribution to their 2018 campaign.