Saturday, August 18, 2018

No Big Parade For Cadet Bone Spurs!?!


And he was all set, too.

Got the cadet uniform out of mothballs.

Ordered a plus-plus size corset from Lane Bryant.

Asked Kim Jong-un if he could borrow one of those big hats that the North Korean generals* fancy. (Must keep the, uh, "hair" in place.)

Practiced his Mussolini jaw thrust.

Dusted off that Purple Heart that some delusional idiot gave him.

Watched Apocalypse Now again.

Got his G.I. Joes out of storage.

And now it's all for naught.


*(By the way, what's the deal with all those medals the North Korean generals wear? I may not be up on my Korean history, but I can't think of a war that North Korea has been in in the last 64 years. So what were the medals awarded for? Participation? Like in kids' soccer? Here's a juice box, a graham cracker, and a nice shiny medal! Or maybe you just get one every year you manage to stay alive with a murderous psychopath in power...In that case, we should ALL be getting some soon.)

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

How The Hell Did Omarosa Get Into The White House In The First Place?

Oh, that's right! Dipshit asked her in.

Just like he asked the white supremacists and the Nazis and the crooks and the incompetents and the  morons and the plain, garden variety liars. Welcoming them all with open arms.

One big, happy, family.

When you're a complete asshole, you like to surround yourself with your kind.

It's comforting...

"Only the best people." Remember?

And of course he uses the "n" word. Is there any doubt?

Tired of winning yet?

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Dumb, And Working Very Hard To Get Dumber

It will no doubt shock you to learn that 3 of the 4 Republicans running for Superintendent of Public Instruction in Arizona think creationism and intelligent design should be taught in the public schools.

From the Republican perspective it is obviously very important to keep as many people as possible as stupid as possible.

Otherwise, where will the next generation of Republicans come from? You know, those "low information voters" beloved by our Traitor in Chief.

We keep hearing about how important STEM classes are...and then the good folks at GOP Inc want to add a fairy tale section to science class.

I thought that was what Sunday School was for...

As anyone who reads the letters to the editor of the Arizona Republic knows, there is no bottom to the stupid in this state.

It's like a fucking black hole, sucking in all who approach.

And spitting out good, brain dead, free market, law and order, build the Wall, not-a-clue, Republicans.

Saturday, August 4, 2018

"Russia, If You're Listening..."

Please take him.


It's only fair. He's yours, after all. You made him.

Take his whole family. They'll fit right in. They're kleptocratic scum without an ounce of empathy or humanity. Ring a bell?

Now, the boys are very stupid, it's true. But you've dealt with your share of imbecilic scions in the past. It comes with the territory.

And the girl, well, she has some serious Daddy issues...You have psychiatrists in Moscow, right?

We will throw in his entire cabinet, too. It's a package deal. You could put them on display by Lenin's tomb. Keep your children in line by frightening them with the perils of unchained capitalism.

Oh, and make room for approximately 30 million frothing at the mouth morons. We will pay the freight.

They're his base, and he'd be lost without them.

Doesn't matter where you put them. A gulag in Siberia sounds about right.

Or, you could just slaughter them. Up to you.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Another Modest Proposal

Since we all believe in "law and order", I offer up this simple solution to a growing problem:

If you are guilty of treason against the United States, you will be put to death...on national television.

Just imagine the ratings!

None of this lengthy jail sentence nonsense.


Hang 'em or shoot 'em.

Let the traitors choose which way they'd like to be removed from this life. Rope or gun.

But they have to go, as a warning to anyone who might consider committing treason in the future.
And, of course, all of their assets will revert to the Treasury.

Now, it looks like this will open up a lot of seats in Congress, in a several state houses, some law firms, and a handful of high paying media jobs as well.

Fox News will be especially hard hit. 

And that's a good thing.

New blood. Fresh ideas.

No traitors.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Donald J. Trump Is A Traitor

There really is no other explanation for his behavior.

He is scared to death of Vladimir Putin--probably for a variety of reasons. And as a result of this, he will do anything to make Putin happy--anything--ignoring whether or not it is counter to the interests of the United States and our allies.

If that isn't the definition of a traitor, it will do for now.

I'm old enough to remember when the Republican Party routinely smeared the Democrats as being weak on Communism, "fellow travelers" if you will.

Now, however, we find that almost the entire Republican Party and their soul mates at the NRA are in the bag for the Russians. Bought and paid for by Putin and his friends' money.


One important thing you need to understand about Donald J. Trump is that he is a pathological liar.

He cannot string more than two sentences together without lying about something.

He has surrounded himself with the kind of people who would steal the dimes off a dead man's eyes, because, well, he doesn't need them anymore.

Most of them are pathological liars, too. Birds of a feather, etc.

So, mix being a pathological liar with breathtaking narcissism, a seemingly uncontrollable sex drive, and throw in a desperate need for large amounts of money to maintain the illusion that you're successful, and one Donald J. Trump becomes a perfect target for an old KGB agent to turn. 

A useful idiot, to use a phrase popular with another Vladimir, Lenin.

A Russian stooge in the White House. Doing his boss's bidding.

Undermine NATO? Check.

Go out of your way to slight and demean our long time allies? Check.

Ignore warnings from all of our intelligence agencies, and consistently question the integrity of the FBI? Check.

Try to break up the EU? Check.

Turn a blind eye to Russian meddling in our, and other's, elections, past and future? Check.

Weaken sanctions against Putin's happy band of oligarch gangsters? Well, give him time...he's trying his hardest.

But do not hold your breath waiting for all of those "patriots" in the Republican Party to do something about it.

Because, quite clearly, they are traitors, too.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Stop Me If You've Heard This One....Part 2

An idiot walks into a NATO summit...

An idiot tries to "fix" health care...

An idiot starts a trade war...

An idiot insults all of our allies...

An idiot kisses up to any dictator who smiles at him...

An idiot separates children from their parents, with no plan for re-uniting them...

An idiot shits all over the Constitution while stuffing his own pockets...

An idiot appoints bunglers, fools, racists, crooks, and corporate whores to help him "run" the government...

An idiot...(fill in the blank)