Sunday, June 17, 2018

Are All Republicans Traitors?

Or just most?

Are they all racists?

Or just most?

Here's the deal, and it's not that complicated: If you support a racist--You are a racist. And there is really no need to argue about it.

Oh, you can pretend that you aren't. Maybe even convince yourself and your like minded friends.

Doesn't change what you are.

If you support a traitor--You are a traitor, too.

So, forget all of that blah blah blah nonsense about "populism" and "white working class angst" and Making America Great Again.

Pure camouflage. Pure horse shit.

People that still support Donald J. Trump are racist traitors.

Now, maybe not all Republicans are racist traitors.

But the ones who aren't better find a spine and a little bit of moral courage and start speaking the fuck up.

Or they might as well be.

Monday, June 11, 2018

The Great Negotiator

The Great Negotiator will know, within a few seconds, a minute tops, how this is going to go.

He will look into the soul of his opposite, and instantly determine the outcome.

It is this seeming sixth sense that has guided him through all those bankruptcies.

Foresight, I think they call it.

You cannot be a successful grifter without foresight, after all.

And through all the years, the Great Negotiator has been a very successful grifter. Conned a bunch of suckers. Millions at last count.

So what's one more? And an Asian at that! Should be simple.

Piece of cake, in fact. The world's best chocolate cake, if you're wondering. Cake that someone like you has never seen the likes of. It worked before. It will work again!

It helps that the Great Negotiator's best friend, indeed his bromance buddy, Vlad, can put his hand on the scales at any moment, and make the Asian bend to his wishes.

What are friends for?

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Gee, I Hate To Be Crude, But...

Ivanka Trump really is a feckless cunt.

Now, before anyone gets their right wing, "real" American, snowflake panties all in a bunch, I don't mean that in a sexual, or misogynistic, way. I use that word in its English context. Not American. English.

In the way that Mick Jagger meant, back in the '60's, when a stuffy old man who, no doubt appalled by Mick's long hair and Carnaby street kit, asked him "what he thought he looked like" causing Jagger to reply "don't know. So long as I don't look a cunt like you."

See? It means something different.

An idiot. A fool. A poseur.

And therefore perfectly fitting for Ivanka Trump.

Or her brothers, for that matter. Or her husband.

Or her father. Especially her father.

In fact, the Trump Administration is made up almost entirely of Feckless Cunts.

They should trademark the name, make a couple of dollars for Trump Inc.

Friday, June 1, 2018

Big Button Showdown Time?

Happily for satirists everywhere, it looks like our asshole in chief will meet with their asshole in chief.

At least for now...

Who knows what tomorrow might bring? Comedy, after all, lurks everywhere, and our Traitor in Chief is nothing if not irrationally mercurial. We are always one demented tweet away from everything falling apart.

All I can say is, if and when they do meet it will be like they're both looking in a mirror.

Shithead y shithead as our Spanish speaking friends might say.

Never forget one thing: North Korea is not, and has never been, an existential threat to the United States.

They are an annoyance.

Sure, they can be a loud annoyance. But only a two bit punk would get all upset about them. And only a two bit punk would be distracted by them.

Unfortunately, we have a two bit punk in the White House.

Real men don't get upset about little boys rattling their tiny sabers.

And if we had a real man in the White House this wouldn't be much of an issue.

Unfortunately, for the time being at least, we have Donald J. Trump--the exact opposite of a real man--in the White House.

Hopefully, the Master Negotiator won't sign over Hawaii to Kim Jong-un in exchange for some magic beans, and a McDonald's franchise in Pyongyang.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Guns Don't Kill People. Ritalin Kills People.

In a just world, Ollie North would be in prison. Or, perhaps, out on parole.

But this is not a just world...

So Oliver North, who was a TRAITOR, and probably still is, if the price is right, has a new gig!

Ollie is the newest mouthpiece of the NRA.

And Ollie's bit of wisdom about our latest (as of the instant I type this) school shooting, is that it happened because kids are on ritalin.

Not because of the ease at which anyone, even the craziest among us, can get access to all kinds of weaponry. Including some rifles that should only be found on a battlefield.

Not because the NRA, which is essentially the lobbyist for gun manufacturers, has had the Congress in its pocket for 30 years.

Not because the Second Amendment fetishists get all wound up by spurious claims that "the gubmint is coming for our guns!"

Not because this loud, vocal, minority cares more about their guns than they do about anything else. Anything.

No. None of those.

It's the ritalin that's to blame. That makes perfect sense, don't it?

Goddamn, this is a stupid country, chock full of very stupid people.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

This Raises An Interesting Question:

When you're a lying piece of shit, do you know you're a lying piece of shit?

Take Sarah Huckabee Sanders, for instance.

She spends her days lying for the P.O.S. in the White House. It's her job, and she does it, willingly.

That is probably a prerequisite for working in this particular White House; the willingness to lie 24-7.

I wouldn't say she lies very convincingly...but others might.

Now, the question is, does she do it because it's her job? Or does she really, truly, believe all the lies she disseminates daily?

If she does it because it's her job, what kind of Christian is she? The kind who tells lies that she knows are lies?

Isn't she afraid of burning in Hell for eternity? That's what happens to bad Christians, right?

And if she truly does believe all of the lies, what kind of idiot is she?

Do they let idiots into Heaven?

Friday, May 11, 2018

One Thing You Can't Hide Is When You're Crippled Inside

Look, I've never cared for John McCain.

I grew tired of the "I was a P.O.W." card very early on in the game.

More importantly, most of his positions are directly opposite of everything I believe.

First as a Congressman and then as a Senator he has done next to nothing for the people of Arizona. You can look it up.

He would have been a bad President. Not as bad as W.  And no one will ever be as bad as that lump of orange fecal matter currently occupying the White House. But still, just the idea of Sarah Palin being a heartbeat away, as they say, should have given anyone with a functioning brain nightmares.

Now, it looks like the "Maverick" is on his way out. Like the song says, "everything dies and that's a fact". When he does, he will be given full military honors, which he certainly deserves. He does not deserve to be mocked by that festering gang of morally crippled, ethical pygmies that takes its marching orders from Donald J. Trump.

And there is a pretty good chance that whatever replaces him will be worse. This is Arizona we're talking about, after all.

However, one thing is beyond dispute. John McCain has never been a traitor.

Donald J. Trump, and anyone associated with the criminal enterprise that he calls his administration, can't honestly say that.