Sunday, July 16, 2017

Signor Baseball's "What The Hell Is Going On Here?" Sort Of Midseason MLB Update

Lots of crazy stuff going on here.

A couple of teams having great years. A handful of teams having awful years, including a perennial contender. Some good teams, and a whole lot of mediocre teams.

In the NL West, the Diamondbacks are much better than I thought they'd be and the Giants are simply bad. The former will still fade--I think. That pitching staff just isn't very deep. And the Dodgers are simply better than they are. But, with so many teams having indifferent years in the NL, Arizona may have a chance at a Wild Card slot. For San Francisco, losing their best pitcher to a stupid accident hurt them badly, but not "20 games out of first place" badly. Too many other players are having off years, and all at the same time. Which happens sometimes. The Rockies are also playing well above projections, but their fade will be more precipitous than the D-Backs.

In the Central, Chicago has been struggling all year, but they still have the best team and should come out on top. St. Louis is the only team with a realistic chance to keep pace with them. Milwaukee has been in first practically the whole season, but the Brewers just don't look like a legitimate contender to me and the Pirates, though they put a very solid lineup on the field, continue to have undependable pitching.

And in the NL East, injuries have doomed the Mets, and the Braves and Marlins just aren't good enough, so it looks like smooth sailing for the Nationals...until the playoffs, when I anticipate another melt down. However, if Scherzer and Strasburg get hot at the same time they could carry the team to the Series, just as Johnson and Schilling did for the Diamondbacks way back when.

In the AL East, the Yankees have a lot of good young bats, but are still sporting a less than stellar, prone to injury, pitching staff. Unless they can come up with some dependable arms via trade, I don't see them catching Boston, though they may have enough to grab a Wild Card berth. The same thing applies to the rest of the division, though Toronto has been a huge disappointment so far.

In the Central, Cleveland should hold on to first, barring any major injuries. Kansas City and Minnesota have an outside chance at a Wild Card, though both are currently mired close to .500. The Royals are the more likely of the two to rise from there.

Houston has run away from the rest of the West. At this point the Astros are the best team in the AL by far, and it would take a catastrophic collapse for anybody to catch them. With so much of the league languishing in mediocrity, Los Angeles, Seattle and Texas all have a shot at one of the Wild Card slots.

By my count there are 9 teams in both leagues that still are contenders for the Wild Cards. Which should make for a very interesting August and September...

Sunday, July 9, 2017

"Republican" Is Now Officially A Synonym For Traitor

And for their 30 pieces of silver (it was probably hundreds of millions if not a couple billion, but since our country is rapidly devolving into a oligarchic theocracy I thought I'd better practice using a biblical reference) the Russians were able to buy themselves an American president!

And his nominal Party, too!

Who says there are no bargains anymore?! You just have to know how to shop...

The most powerful and richest country on the face of the earth is now essentially a vassal state of Russia.

And our so-called President is a puppet of Vladimir Putin. Nice, huh?

And all those Republican "patriots" who wrap themselves in the flag and the Bible at the drop of a hat...where are they now?

Why, they're making excuses for Der Trump, of course! Remember, he's "new at this."

As long as they're free to implement all of their regressive, stupid, and downright cruel policies, Trump can do whatever he wants to dismantle the various alliances of the free world, up to and including handing over state secrets to his boyfriend Vlad.

There's a word for that kind of behavior:

Treason. As practiced by traitors.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

The Checklist

Uh, let's see...

Racist swine running the Department of Justice?


Russian stooge oilman in charge of the State Department?


Climate change denier seeing how quickly he can destroy the EPA?


Moron fronting the Department of Energy?


Unqualified fool running HUD?


Supreme Court appointee turning out to be just exactly the kind of reactionary piece of shit we thought he would be?


Clueless piece of billionaire scum dismantling the Department of Education?


Influence peddling slumlord son-in-law "solving" the Israeli-Palestinian issue and "fixing" government?


Beloved (in a creepy, backwoods' way, of course) daughter cashing in at every opportunity?


Republican controlled Congress set to dismantle over 100 years of progressive legislation?


Nazi sympathizers, Russian agents, white supremacists etc, scuttling around the White House?


So called "President" using the office to pocket any pennies he can get his tiny hands on, from whatever source?


Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Health Care Isn't Really That Complicated

Countries all around the world have more effective, more efficient, and much CHEAPER, health care than we do.

England, France, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, Canada, Germany, Australia, for example.

If we weren't so stuck in our arrogance, our mythical American exceptionalism, our so-called "leaders" kowtowing to insurance companies and Big Pharma, and, most of all, our ridiculous fear of anything labelled "socialism", we could have a perfectly functioning national health care system that covers every U. S. citizen from cradle to grave.

Just by simply copying anyone of the aforementioned countries' systems. It ain't that hard.

But half of our elected officials (hint: they all have R's by their names) just don't give a damn about the majority of our citizens. Because they only care about the people who have money to contribute to their re-election campaigns. And those people only care about keeping their own taxes low.

So we, the richest country in the world, have to stumble along, seemingly forever, with a very expensive piecemeal system that is totally inadequate for the vast majority of our citizens.


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

A New Name

There's a line in a Woody Allen movie (can't remember which), spoken by Max Von Sydow, that I've always cherished:

As I recall, Von Sydow's character says, "If Christ ever came back, he probably couldn't stop vomiting."

That about sums up my feelings for all the "good Christians" who voted for Trump.

Those poor fundamentalist knuckleheads who feel like they're being persecuted. Boo hoo.

It's one thing to believe in fairy tales. It's another thing to insist that everyone else believe with you. And it's still another to use your "faith" to spread hatred, bigotry, bile, and overwhelming stupidity.

Even though most of what you "know" about him was cobbled together many years, in some cases centuries, after the fact, and has no connection whatsoever to whatever life he might have led, poor old Jesus still deserves better than this.

So, do your boy Jesus a favor and change your name from Christians to something else, OK?

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Yet Another Fable, Part 1

And so the Master Negotiator, the winner, the sporter of superior genes, the self-proclaimed multi-billionaire, found himself in a pickle.

After so many bankruptcies--none of which were his fault, of course--no major American bank would loan him a penny!

Now, you might think that a truly master negotiator would be able to work something out with Chase, or B of A, or Wells Fargo, or Citi, or somebody...

But the banks had all been burned by one or more of his bankruptcies, and so they told the Master Negotiator, the winner, the self-proclaimed multi-billionaire, "NO!"

Of course, he could've used some of his own multi-billions, couldn't he?

Hmmmm? Couldn't he? Does Warren Buffet have to borrow money? Does Bill Gates?

But the first rule of grifters everywhere is "never use your own money". (That is, if you have any money of your own.)

And so the Master Negotiator turned elsewhere...

Lo and behold, some nice Russian "businessmen" (hahaha) had some money, lots of money, and they were more than happy to help the Master Negotiator out!

Naturally, there were "terms" attached to these loans. When you borrow money there are always terms. And, depending on the lender, the larger the amount borrowed, the more onerous the terms may be.

But the Master Negotiator had never had to suffer the consequences of any of his many failures, and so, why not take the Russians' money?

Why not indeed?

Monday, June 5, 2017

What Kathy Griffin Should Say:

So I did something that I thought was funny, and it turns out that to many people it wasn't. Welcome to my entire career.

So it offended a lot of you. Oops. That happens in comedy sometimes. Get over it.

To put this all into perspective, Google all the things Donald Trump's asshole buddy (and White House guest) Ted Nugent said about President Obama and Hillary Clinton.

I may be a c-list comedian, struggling to be a mini-Joan Rivers, (who, by the way, said some truly awful things about Michelle Obama), but at least I never committed treason.

And as far as damaging little Barron Trump, wait until he's old enough to realize who his father is, all the awful things his father has said and done, just exactly what family he's a member of, and what the Trump name means to a majority of Americans and people around the world, and then talk to me about "damaging" poor little Barron with a distasteful sight gag.