Saturday, February 17, 2018

Mass Murder Is As American As Apple Pie

Not much to add to the title.

17 dead? Ho hum.

Most of them children? Ho hum.

This is how we live now.

The NRA has the Republican party (and a handful of useful idiots from the Democrats, too) in their pockets.

And the NRA exists primarily to sell guns.

Forget that bullshit about safety and training and hunting and Constitutional rights and all the other bullshit that that PIG Wayne LaPierre spews.

The NRA exists to scare people into buying as many guns as they can.

So no, this isn't primarily a "mental health" issue.*

This is a $$$$$ issue. The NRA pays $$$$$ to their bought and sold Congressmen/women to keep the vast majority of Americans unsafe.

Ho hum.  17 dead? Price of freedom, my friend. Price of freedom. Just another day in our "Armed Madhouse."

*If we can get believing in white supremacy, racism, and fervid gun worship officially declared mental illnesses, then and only then, can we call this a mental health issue.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

There's No Such Thing As A "Perjury Trap"

You either tell the truth, or you don't. No trap.

Pretty simple, huh?

Unless you're a Republican, I guess.

Unless you are Donald J. Trump, our #FakePresident, who lies so often, about so many different things.

He can't help himself. It's how he's spent his entire life.

He doesn't need to be "tricked" into lying, or "trapped"into lying.

He just lies....constantly. About anything and everything.

He's not smart. He's not successful. He's not patriotic. He doesn't have a shred of empathy for anyone. He's merely played a bunch of simpletons for suckers.

To put it plainly, his life is one, big, fat, lie.

So, sure, in that sense, having to tell the truth would be a trap for him.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

The Trump Lexicon Decoded

Though on the surface it may seem like an impenetrable word salad offered up by someone with a catastrophic brain injury, it's really not that hard to decipher Fearless Leader's every word.

The truth is essentially the exact opposite of whatever he says.

For instance, "Crooked Hillary" decodes to "I am a career criminal. My Dad was a crook. I am a crook. And I've raised my children to be crooks, too. Ivanka (God I want to fuck her!) even married a crook, probably just to please me."

"There was no collusion" really means "Vlad! Vlad! What do I do now? Please help me. I'll do whatever you tell me to do--that was our deal, right? Just please help me!"

"Little Adam Schiff" deciphered is "I'm a sad, empty man. I'm a failure at literally everything I touch. Look at all those bankruptcies! I fucked up a casino, for Christ's sake! I screw working class people every chance I get. What kind of idiots would vote for someone like me?"

"I'm not a feminist" correctly interpreted is "What I am is a serial adulterer, with a taste for porn stars who remind me of Ivanka (God I want to fuck her!)"

"I only use the best people" said with a straight face decodes as "Look at these putzes. You'd find better qualified people in the line outside a methadone clinic. The truth is 'the best people' avoid me like the plague."

 "The Democrats are treasonous" simply means "I'm a traitor. The people who support me are traitors. In a just world, I'd end up like Mussolini, my rotting corpse hanging from a lamppost in downtown D.C. as a warning to all."

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

The State Of The Union

Well, let's see now...

Both houses of Congress are infected with, oh let's call them, for lack of a better word, traitors. They come from many different states, and backgrounds, but they all share one thing. That "R" by their names. R for Russia.

But at least the billionaires are happy!

In the White House, there's a large, orange turd, and his somewhat smaller turd relatives stinking up the place. This Turd King has surrounded himself with neo-Nazis, white supremacists, crooks, and morons of all shapes and sizes. So his family fits right in...

They are all stooges for the Russians.

But at least the billionaires are happy!

After a brief respite, the Supreme Court once again has a majority of corporate whores. The chances of them stopping The Turd King and his band of criminals as they destroy the Constitution and a century of progressive change is so small as to be un-measurable.

So goodbye clean air and water, goodbye work place safety, goodbye affordable health care, goodbye equal pay for equal work, goodbye common good, goodbye quest for equality for ALL of our citizens, and goodbye to America's standing in the world.  

But at least the billionaires are happy!

And maybe in their happiness, they will spill just enough to keep some of you alive...

Maybe not.

And that is the State of the Union.

Saturday, January 27, 2018


Let's say that you're an elected official from a political party that will do ANYTHING to win.

Lie, cheat, steal...whatever. You are ready, willing, and able to pander to the worst strains of American life. In fact, the worst strains comprise your base.

Let's say that a certain foreign country understands this about your party.

Let's say that this foreign country is happy to send millions and millions of dollars to your party, through means legal and otherwise, just to fuck with the United States. To weaken us at home and abroad. To weaken all of our alliances, especially the European ones.

This country is also willing to do "other" things to help...

And low and behold, all of that "help" put Donald J. Trump in the White House.

An ignorant, racist, sexist, crooked buffoon...but with that all important "R" by his name. So it's all good.

And here we are. Ceding our place in the world to the Chinese, who aren't governed by morons. Watching the European Union dissolve into factions, while the Russians wait patiently to pick up the pieces. Having America's word mean less and less on the world's stage. Becoming a punchline.

Unfortunately, when you ask a Republican controlled Congress to investigate how this happened, and what we can do to reverse it, you are in essence asking the criminals to investigate the crime.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Millions And Millions Of Imbeciles

Even after all of it, the non-stop lying, the wall to wall incompetence, the corruption, the racism, the beyond the pale behavior, the rampant egoism, the sexism, the general grossness, the Nazi coddling, the pornstar payoff--did I mention the wall to wall incompetence?

Even after all of that, there are still apparently millions of Americans who think that Donald J. Trump, the Flaming Orange Anus himself, aka the Racist in Chief, aka Putin's Boy Toy, is doing a good job as President. Make that a great job!

What this means is that there are millions and millions of imbeciles in this great land of ours.

If you don't believe me, try reading the letters to the editor of the Arizona Republic some time...

They may look like us. They may sound like us. They may enjoy some of the same things we do. Hell, you might even be related to some of them.

But they're still fucking imbeciles.

Since the Russian rigged election of 2016, there have been countless "think" pieces detailing how the Democrats should reach out to these "forgotten" voters. Listen to them. Make nice. Feel their pain.

No way. Fuck 'em! They are a loud, bitter, ignorant minority. 

They are deeply stupid and you can't change deep stupidity. It's too ingrained. Don't waste your time.

Better to let them stew in their ignorance.

After all, they obviously revel in it. Like pigs in slop.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

The 200 Year Old Racist

Once and for all, Donald J. Trump is as healthy as any obese, pasty, intellectually incurious, septuagenarian who eats junk food all day, and whose idea of exercise is to either ride around in a golf cart, or sit on the toilet tweeting, has ever been.

He has excellent cognitive skills, too. (insert laughter here)

And he has "incredible genes".

(Have you ever had your genes examined during your physical? Me neither. In fact, I'm very interested in how that would even be done by an MD.)

The man is a fucking medical wonder, I tells ya!

And he has a doctor's note to prove it.

So that should settle that, huh?

After all, who you gonna believe, his doctor or your lyin' eyes and all the evidence to the contrary?