Profiles In, Uh, Whatever

Jeff Flake, who desperately wants to be a "hero", but doesn't really have the stones for that sort of thing, and thinks he has some sort of future in Presidential politics (normally I'd say 'insert raucous laughter here', but Jesus Christ, look at what's in the White House now!), will occasionally "pretend" to be opposing Republican Party policies in some "brave" way and for some "noble" reason.

So it is with his Brett Kavanaugh posturing.

Do not be fooled.

Jeff Flake is just another Republican hack, trying to act like a "patriot" while stuffing his pockets with as much corporate money as he can, and voting with the Traitor in Chief almost ALL OF THE TIME.

Does Arizona grow any other kind of Republicans?

No. It does not.

Does America grow any other kind of Republicans?

No. Not anymore.

Gee, I Guess No Republican Woman Has Ever Gotten An Abortion, Huh?

To white male conservatives, women are essentially chattel.

Breeding stock. The "weaker" sex.

Too, uh, emotional, to control their own reproductive systems.

So men must control them.

And since the right to a safe abortion takes some of that control away, abortions must be outlawed.

That has been the sole thrust of large segments of the Republican Party for the last 40 years or so.

All those slobbering evangelicals screaming their fool heads off about Roe v. Wade.

They care, oh they care so deeply, about those fetuses.

Doctors are murdered, clinics are bombed, women are terrorized--all for those magic fetuses.

(Of course, once the child is born, unless he or she is white and rich, the good folks over at the GOP couldn't care less about them. Day care, family leave, Head Start,  good public schools, health care, subsidized lunches, after school programs? Nah. That's all handouts. That's all socialism.)

Since 99.9% of this vileness comes from the Republican Right, it raises the question asked in the title of this post; "Gee, I guess no Republican woman has ever gotten an abortion, huh?"

And if you believe that, well...

Fortunately, there is a solution and it's really pretty simple: if you are a female, and are against abortion--don't have one.

And if you are male, and against abortion--shut the fuck up. Mind your own goddamn business.

See. Simple.

Welcome To The Republican's Big Tent!

Hello!

Person of color? Gosh, how did you get in here? I mean, are you sure this is where you want to be? Really?

Billionaire? Thanks for coming! That big table up front is reserved just for you!

Female? In the back, please.

Gay? "Closeted" or "out"? "Closeted" sit near the front. "Out" please get to the back, by the women.

Idiot? We certainly need as many of you as we can get!  The more the merrier, in fact! But don't sit too near the billionaires. It bothers them. They're very sensitive.

Homophobe? See those idiots over there? That's right. Sit with them.

Rapist? Hmmm. Who did you rape, male or female? Female? Over here. Male? Uh, gee. Over there I guess. With the clergy.

Criminal? White collar? Sit near the billionaires. Other crimes? Wherever there's an open seat. Remember to mingle.

Racist? Sit wherever you want! That goes for you, too, gun nuts and fundamentalists.

But please save some seats for our Russian friends. After all, they paid for most of this.

World's Largest Snowflake

Donald J. Trump, who is a stable genius with all the best words, and who knows the best people, would love to talk to that wicked, wicked Robert Mueller.

After all, Donald J. Trump has nothing to hide.

Except....well...

Perhaps you haven't noticed this, but Donald J. Trump cannot tell the truth.

Now, you might think that this is something that should have been dealt with when Donald J. Trump was a little boy. But, no...

It wasn't.

And he grew and he grew and he grew (he's still growing, in fact) as did the size of his lies.

He's reached the point where his first response to any situation is to lie about it. Hurricanes, health care, immigration, NATO, the economy--you pick one and he has a lie ready for it.

So, even though Donald J. Trump is our "smartest" President, with those "superior genes" he likes to remind us of, his many lawyers will not let him go mano y mano with that awful Robert Mueller.

Because, in the words of one of them, Donald J. Trump is a "fucking liar."

And if he ever got in front of Mr. Mueller, who, unlike Donald J. Trump, is very, very good at his job, our stable genius in chief would simply start to melt, like the World's Largest Snowflake.

No, it's much safer for Donald J. Trump to stay far away from those nasty men with their tricky questions.

Better that he keep holding his Hillbilly Nuremberg rallies for the poor, frothing at the mouth morons, who worship him.

Drip drip drip...

Signor Baseball's "Down The Stretch They Come!" MLB Update

Let's see...where are we?

In the American League, the biggest surprises have been how good Oakland has been and how bad Baltimore and Kansas City have been.

In the AL East, New York is good, but Boston is better. So it looks like the Yankees will have to play the one game, winner take all, Wild Card game against probably Oakland. And the way their starting pitching has looked lately...well, they may be taking their 100 plus wins and all of those home runs home earlier than they'd like. What the hell happened to Baltimore? Jesus. It's one thing to go from good to average. That happens all the time in sports. But to go from good to tragic so quickly...that's the kind of thing that gets managers fired.

In the Central, the Indians have run away from a mediocre field. No other team in this division has a winning record, so it's kind of hard to know how good Cleveland really is. They do have strong pitching, though, and could cause some problems in the playoffs.

Out West, Seattle has been the biggest disappointment. So what else is new? Astros remain the class of this division, with Oakland a huge surprise. The Babe Ruth of Japan didn't quite pan out for the Angels, though he did show some flashes before the injury bug got him. And Texas is just plain bad.

So, let's take the A's over the Yankees in the Wild Card, and this is based entirely on how unpredictable New York's starting pitching has been. I suppose they could pull it together and make a run all the way to the Series, but...probably not. I wouldn't expect Oakland to go much farther than winning the Wild Card game. Cleveland is good, but not as good as Boston and Houston. Now that both of those teams are reasonably healthy, they should give us a very good AL Championship series. And whichever team wins will be the favorite in the World Series.

In the National League, the biggest surprises are Atlanta and Philadelphia. They were supposed to be a year or two away from contending, but with the Nationals mired in mediocrity, the Marlins being plain awful, and the Mets falling apart, those timetables got sped up.

So the East will come down to which team, the Braves or the Phillies, stands up to the pressure best. I suppose they could both stumble badly, and Washington could somehow sneak through, but that's a long, long shot. Slight chance for a wild card team from this division.

In the Central, the Cubs pulled away as expected, but the Brewers and the Cardinals still have a good chance at at least one of the Wild Cards.

And in the wild, wild West, Arizona, L.A., and Colorado should go down to the last weekend before anything is decided. None of these teams seems capable of pulling away from the others. The Dodgers, on paper, and when healthy, seem like the strongest team--but they sure haven't performed like the strongest team. Still, at this point I like them to win the West. The Diamondbacks and Rockies have a very good chance at one of the Wild Card slots, but getting both slots looks unlikely. So, flip a coin...

Diamondbacks vs Cardinals in the Wild Card. Cubs win the NL pennant. Cubs vs Red Sox in the Series. Wrigley Field and Fenway Park? Should be loads of fun!

Of course, I could be wrong about all of this....which is why I never, ever, bet on sports. Too many variables.

Today's Post Is Brought To You By The Letter "R"

R is for RATS

R is for RUSSIA

R is for ROTTEN

R is for RACISTS

R is for REPELLENT

R is for REPREHENSIBLE

R is for REPUBLICAN

Have a nice Labor Day weekend!