See, It Really Isn't That Hard

So there's a mass shooting in New Zealand. Naturally, it was carried out by an angry, scared, Islamophobic white male, with a nod and a wink to our own little Tinpot in Chief.

(Gee, the world does get more and more like the good old U.S. every day, don't it?)

And less than a week later, New Zealand bans assault rifles.

Don't those silly Kiwis know that the proper response to a mass shooting is earnest, heartfelt "thoughts and prayers" followed by complete inaction?

Well, not complete inaction. The maggots on Fox News will rant about a possible infringement on our God given Second Amendment rights to any and all handheld weapons. The MAGAts will put on their little red hats, get out their own sacred, beloved hardware and parade around looking all menacing, and pretending to be really, really tough. The cretins on twitter will argue about what is and isn't an automatic weapon. And the Republicans in Congress, the courts, and elsewhere will ignore the wishes of the majority of Americans for some kind of sane gun control.

That's the kind of action we like.

Apparently, that's the only kind of action we are capable of at this point.

What a pathetic country we've become.

Loud, Drunk and Obnoxious

We all know people who drink a little too much.

Some of them get sad. Some of them get somber.

Some wax philosophically. Some become screamingly funny.

And some become loud, obnoxious and violent.

In some people it tends to magnify whatever their true self is.

Since he won't answer honestly any questions about what kind of judge he might be, we only know a couple of things about Brett Kavanaugh for sure:

One is that he has an extreme sense of privilege and when that privilege is questioned he becomes obnoxiously loud, hostile, and very, very defensive. He went to Yale, dammit!

And two?

Well, Brett LIKES beer! I mean, he REALLY likes beer!

A lot...

Gee, I Guess No Republican Woman Has Ever Gotten An Abortion, Huh?

To white male conservatives, women are essentially chattel.

Breeding stock. The "weaker" sex.

Too, uh, emotional, to control their own reproductive systems.

So men must control them.

And since the right to a safe abortion takes some of that control away, abortions must be outlawed.

That has been the sole thrust of large segments of the Republican Party for the last 40 years or so.

All those slobbering evangelicals screaming their fool heads off about Roe v. Wade.

They care, oh they care so deeply, about those fetuses.

Doctors are murdered, clinics are bombed, women are terrorized--all for those magic fetuses.

(Of course, once the child is born, unless he or she is white and rich, the good folks over at the GOP couldn't care less about them. Day care, family leave, Head Start,  good public schools, health care, subsidized lunches, after school programs? Nah. That's all handouts. That's all socialism.)

Since 99.9% of this vileness comes from the Republican Right, it raises the question asked in the title of this post; "Gee, I guess no Republican woman has ever gotten an abortion, huh?"

And if you believe that, well...

Fortunately, there is a solution and it's really pretty simple: if you are a female, and are against abortion--don't have one.

And if you are male, and against abortion--shut the fuck up. Mind your own goddamn business.

See. Simple.

Today's Post Is Brought To You By The Letter "T"

T is for Taken

T is for Tension

T is for Tawdry

T is for Turmoil

T is for Terrible

T is for Treachery

T is for Tool

T is for Tragedy

T is for Terror

T is for Treason

T is for Traitor

T is for Turd

T is for Trump

Least Surprising Headline Of The Century

There it is, in USA Today's issue of November 11th, 2016:

"Rise in racist acts follows election"

Gosh, I wonder why?

If I were black or brown or any other off-white shade, or LGBTQ, or a member of a non Christian religion, I think I would be exercising my Constitutional rights and buying every gun I could afford. And plenty of ammo, too. It may not have occurred to people on the right, but that "Second Amendment remedies" gate swings both ways.

In case you forgot, November 11th is Veteran's Day. Looks like all those men and women of different colors and religions fought and died so that some racist scum assholes could celebrate Der Trump's "victory" by bullying and intimidating people of different colors and religions.

Proud to be an American?

No, not these days.

The Real Confederacy Of Dunces

Ya gotta love those "low information" voters.

I knew there were many millions of idiots in this great country of ours. Look at 2004, for instance.

Obviously, I underestimated.

The phrase "cut off your nose to spite your face" comes to mind.

I guarantee you that the vast majority of those angry white Trumpistas rely on the Federal government for many things.

And should the markets crash, as they very well might, they will need the government even more.

And they have elected a Congress with a majority that believes that government shouldn't do very much for people. The bare minimum in fact.

And a President who doesn't know anything about governing. And has no interest in learning. An egotistical, know nothing with the impulse control of a spoiled child, the ethics of a sewer rat, and the moral compass of syphilitic libertine.

Oh, and by the way, he's a stooge for Putin.

It's true. Sometimes you really have to hit rock bottom.

And we have.

So now we have to rely on a handful of "moderate" Republicans to put their country before their party. And what are the odds of that?

Forget the better angels of our nature. It's every man for himself, and the Devil take the hindmost.

Buckle your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy, long, dark, ride.

A Handy Field Guide To The Various Kinds Of Trump Voters

First you've got the Angry White males in general. They're mad about most everything and they think Trump will restore the Greatness of America that they believe has been lost. They don't like political correctness, they don't like "uppity" minorities or women, they don't like immigrants, they don't like gays, they desperately want to go back to a mythical past where the "other" understood its subordinate place in the grand scheme of things. (This category includes the docile females that cower before their angry male masters.)

You've got the aggrieved working class whites, who have suffered and who do need help, but who somehow missed the part of the Trump economic plan where you outsource work to China and bring in Polish scabs to save a buck. But he's not a woman and he's white, so they're all in. These are people who already are benefiting from government programs or will need to very soon, but still have a deep hatred for Big Government because it only helps "the other".

There's the "he's going to cut our taxes" crowd. That's the only thing that matters to them. Ever. I call it the "I've got mine-fuck you!" crowd. (Many of these people are Libertarians. I would point out that no advanced civilization has ever been based on libertarian principles. Ever. I would also point out that their patron saint Ayn Rand was a mediocre novelist and a dime store philosopher. But, yeah, she probably would have cut their taxes, so it's all good.)

Oh, and let's not forget the Christian hypocrites. Here you've got a thrice married sexual predator, with a condescending, indeed mocking, attitude toward women and minorities. He has refused to pay people who did work for him and his companies have gone bankrupt multiple times, cheating hundreds if not thousands, of small, family run businesses in the process. But, Donald J. Trump will let you keep as many guns as you want (just like Jesus would) and, well, he's white and not a woman, so praise the Lord!

Then you've got the Alt-Right white supremacists. Cuz he's gonna deal with the dark skin people, wherever they're from. Even, maybe especially, native born American citizens. The 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments were a mistake, y'all.

Throw in a tiny handful of Latinos and blacks who obviously aren't getting enough oxygen to their brains.

And finally, you've got the sort of people who just like to watch stuff burn. And what bigger fire could you have than a Donald J. Trump presidency?

Baby, it's a Big Tent!

Say Anything

You gotta hand it to Das Trumpo.

He can really read a room.

He looks out at his typical crowd of sad, broken, delusional, angry, mouth breathers.

These are trusting people who have voted for Republicans for years and never gotten a goddamn thing from the Party of Lincoln--except lies regarding how the black and brown people are stealing from them. Oh, and the occasional war to thin out the herd. All the while, the rich get richer...

And Trump tells them what they want to hear.

How it's not their fault! How they're going to be winners! The biggest, yoogest winners ever! He's gonna build them a wall! He's gonna round up those murdering, raping Mexicans! And then things will be all right again! The good jobs will come back! They'll have all the money! They'll be in charge!

ISIS? He knows how to deal with them! Climate change? All a liberal plot! China? Make a better deal! Abortion? Punish the women! No! Punish the doctors! No! Punish somebody! Yay!

Like any carny barker worth his salt, Trump knows that all you really have to say is,

"Step right up! Everybody's a winner!"

The American Experiment Is Over

Say "so long".

It was fun while it lasted.

We gave it a good run.

Oh sure, we had our problems. Slavery, sexism, racism, xenophobia, the wholesale slaughter of the native people, an odd tendency to worship rich people. White bread.

But we were making some progress...and the original idea was a good one--once we (slowly) realized that "all men" really meant we had to include everyone, and not just white male property owners.

That all changed a few years back.

Nixon turned on the spigot and Saint Reagan opened the floodgates and the Angry White Males  decided the coloreds, and wimmenfolk, and gay-os, and those awful poor people, and all those commies in unions, were just too damn uppity....and somebody had to do somethin' about it!!!

Cuz it weren't natural, that mad rush toward equality.

Certainly not what Jesus and his Daddy would want.

Now we have a majority on our Supreme Court that swears that corporations are people and money is speech. And that we don't have to worry about institutionalized racism anymore, because it no longer exist...and that unions aren't necessary because employers would never dream of fucking over their workers...and that your religious beliefs are more important than the Constitution--as long as they're the right religious beliefs.

And we have one of our two major political parties that is trying to choose which one, from a legion of craven, lying, delusional fools, to represent them in a national election.

So, yeah, it was fun while it lasted...

But it's over.

R.I.P.

Still Ain't No Cure For Crazy

When they write the history of the last few years, one thing will be paramount: the very idea that there's a black guy smarter than them drove all the Republican peckerwoods plumb crazy!

So they say the most ridiculous things, unbelievable crap that only the most delusional of their base could possibly believe--because their base suffers from the same derangement.

And the President's generally centrist positions are treated as if they came straight from Trotsky's lips.

Take for instance the hysterical panic that greeted the Affordable Care Act, which is essentially a slightly modified version of a Republican health care plan.

This would all be amusing except for the fact that in their free fall into madness they decided to fuck up the country--just to show "him" who's still the boss man.

So, I guess the question is, how do you think these "gentlemen" will react to a female president?

With measured equanimity? With rational debate? With a passionate determination to fix what's wrong with our nation?

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ignorance Is Their Brand

I recently read an article that said  "the GOP risked looking ignorant" on something or other.

China, maybe.

Risked?

Seriously?

Wake up man, ignorance has been the GOP's brand for a long time.

Look at Trump, for Christ's sake. All those hideous mouthbreathers that applaud him and roar with delight at his every blustery, inane word.

Or Carly Baby. Jesus, just take the money H-P gave you to go away and, you know, GO AWAY!

And let's not even start with Dr. Ben "I Couldn't Really Be This Stupid, Could I?" Carson. (I would have also accepted Dr. Ben "If Only Those Jews Had Been Armed, The Holocaust Would Have Never Happened!" Carson.)

If you ask me, at this point, mere ignorance would be a compliment.

No, chief, that's profound all-encompassing ignorance, mixed in with a large dose of stupid, blind hatred.

And that's the GOP party--and base--in a nutshell.

To pretend that it isn't?

Now that's ignorance.

Other Donald Trump Pledges

By now you've probably heard that Donald J. Trump, alleged billionaire, multiple bankruptee, failed casino owner, angry white male, and still leading the Republican Presidential Nominee goat fuck, has pledged his fealty to whoever or whatever ultimately comes out ahead in the goat fucking.

Real team player, that Don.

But what you don't know about are some of the other pledges Trump has made:

Use only Mob approved concrete on his Keep The Mexicans Out Wall.

Get to the bottom of what the hell is going on with his "hair".

Create a low paying job for every non-union Polish temporary visa construction worker he can find.

Continue to spout ridiculous, inaccurate things about immigrants, minorities, women, President Obama, and random strangers--just because he can.

If elected, will restore America's pride and position in the world by showing all those other sad, little, unimportant countries that even with a rich, ego maniacal, blowhard, idiot in charge, we're still better than them.

Ditch wife number 3 if she starts to wrinkle or sag anywhere.

Be yooge, wonderful, super, and the best 24-7 365!

Deport his barber.

The Village Idiots

One of the things wrong with this modern world is that we pay way too much attention to the musings of idiots.

Which is as good a way as any to introduce the latest wisdom from Joe the Plumber.

Let me say right here that, in another lifetime, I used to be a plumber. And a large percentage of the guys I worked with were racist idiots. (This was in Arizona, after all.)

Most of them weren't even qualified to be plumbers. (This was in Arizona after all. God bless the right to work laws. They really level the playing field as far as skills go.)

But putting their craftsmanship aside, the idea that people would listen to these idiots' political and social "ideas" never occurred to me.

Boy, have things changed. Now Joe the Plumber's thoughts make the front page of the Huffington Post:

"America needs a white Republican president."

Let's have a roll call of the last few white Republican presidents, shall we?

George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Richard Nixon. In reverse order we have a crook with Mob ties, who left office to avoid being impeached; a cypher whose sole purpose was to pardon the crook he replaced;  an amiable figure head who started the all out assault on the middle class, and shipped arms to Iran, while enriching his defense contractor benefactors; an oil whore CIA hack; and a full blown dunce, who lied us into a trillion dollar war.

Yeah. We need more of that.

But even though Joe the Plumber is a village idiot of the first order, he still has a future in politics. Just move out to my neck of the woods. He could be our next governor. Or at the very least take a seat in the state legislature.

(This is Arizona, after all.)

Angry White Male

Hey, I voted for Obama twice.

Where's all this stuff I'm supposed to get?

Where are my gifts?

Willard Mitt Romney said Obama gave me gifts to vote for him--where are they?

Rush Limbaugh and O'Reilly said he did, too. And they never lie, do they?

I'm waiting, Mr. President.

I know the mails are slow this time of year, but come on!

You know what I'd really like? One of those satellite radio thingys. I hear there's a Springsteen channel, and the BBC World service, and a whole bunch of cool stuff. I could also use some new  shoes.

Of course, the greatest gift of all is that, thanks to you, Barack Hussein Obama, McCain/Palin (remember her?) and Romney/Ryan weren't elected.

Now, that's what I call a thoughtful gift.

Thank you, Barack! We're even.

Oink!

Gee, for a guy who makes his living talking, poor Rush Limbaugh isn't very good with words. Oink.

Then again, his target audience of Angry White Males has a very limited vocabulary. Oink oink.

So he doesn't need much effort or skill to push their buttons. Oink oink oink.

The world is not a fair place, and in the end Limbaugh will probably survive. Sadly, there will always be an audience for his hate filled, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, rants. That is the country we live in. His pathetic, completely insincere, "apologies" will be cheered by his legion of idolatrous zombie-fans. And before you can smile and say "pass the oxycodone" he'll be back spewing his garbage.

But, in the meantime, it sure is fun watching him twist and squirm as things heat up. What's that smell? Mmm, bacon!

As Mrs. Franklin's Uncle Harry was once heard to say: "a bull's a bull." Harry was a farmer--not an intellectual. But he knew intrinsically that things always end up acting like what they are. "A bull's a bull."

And a pig is a pig.

And when a pig acts like a pig, honestly, how surprised should we be?