But I Thought...

But I thought Donald J. Trump was a billionaire?

So why is he always asking Cletus and Ruth Ann RealAmerican to send him their Bingo money?

A billionaire shouldn't need pocket change from common folk, should he? 

I mean, the Windsors didn't pass the hat to put Queeny in the ground, did they?

Hmmm. Curiouser and Curiouser.

But I thought the Republicans were the law and order party?

So how do they rationalize the constant law breaking of their members?

Oh! That's right, laws don't apply to Republicans. My bad.

But I thought TREASON was a bad thing?

Apparently not when Republicans do it.

But I thought hating people because of the color of their skin, or their sexuality, or their beliefs in general wasn't a particularly Christian thing to do?

Then again, many American Christians are about as far from Christ as you can possibly be. In fact, they spend their lives doing un-Christian things--and then expect to be "saved", because they put some money in the collection plate.

But I thought Hitler was a bad guy?

Then how come Trump rallies look more and more like Nazi rallies, right down to the salute?

Hey, that's a pretty good question!

An Incomplete List Of American Disgraces

(A complete list would take up way too much space...)

Homeless people. We are the richest country on the face of the earth.

Hungry people. We are the richest country on the face of the earth. And the fattest, too. But somehow we still have people going hungry, and children whose one good meal a day is provided by their school, which, of course, conservatives want to take away.

Mentally ill people set loose on the streets. Thanks again, Saint Reagan.

People with no health insurance. Because, you know, national health care is SOCIALISM!

People who refuse to be vaccinated. Because, you know, FreeDumb.

Substandard schools for poorer people. Sweet demi-palaces for richer people. There is a public elementary school that I drive by that has recently built a multi-purpose structure that would not be out of place at Lincoln Center, in New York City. Meanwhile, there are schools nearby with not enough books, not enough  paper, not enough pencils. Computers? Hahaha. And don't get me started on charter schools and the voucher system.

Bullet proof backpacks for school kids. Because some people think that their right to bear arms is more important than anyone else's right to live.

Lugnutz who wander around with their AR-15's. They think they look tough, but what they really look like is scared little boys playing army.

Idiots who can say, with a straight face, that slavery "wasn't so bad".

Idiots who oppose teaching that slavery was indeed that bad. Bad in such a profound and disturbing way that it should shame every decent white person in America, and cause them to dedicate themselves to finally fix its lasting ills.

Fox News. Goebbels would be so proud.

The Republican Party in toto. I mean, Jesus, just look at them.

An Observation

The Republican Party now seems to consist entirely of people who spend the week hurting the least powerful members of our society: minorities, children, students, women, gays, immigrants.

They weaken the social safety net at every opportunity and let their corporate friends foul our air and water. They make sure the poor stay poor while the rich get richer.

They harass women who simply want control over their own bodies.

And they threaten, and sometimes murder, the doctors who help these women.

They applaud taking children from their parents and throwing them in cages.

They blindly support a man who is the walking embodiment of the 7 Deadly Sins-with a few extras thrown in for good measure.

Then on Sundays they all go to church and congratulate themselves on what good Christians they are.

We need to come up with new, stronger words than hypocrisy and hypocrites. The old ones have lost all meaning.

It's The Hypocrisy, Stupid (part whatever)

Remember when "The Deficit" was a big deal? Those awful Democrats, led by that awful Obama, were ruining our children's futures by saddling them with "The Deficit"! Yikes!

Now that President Numbnuts and his Congressional enablers have inflated "The Deficit" to a record amount, with no end in sight, and hints of more tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, "The Deficit" is suddenly no big deal.

And it will remain no big deal until there is a Democrat in the White House, and then, as if by magic, the Republicans will start screaming their empty heads off about "The Deficit".

Or what about that tan suit that Obama wore one time. What a catastrophe that was! A blight on all things Americans hold dear! Almost treasonous!

Now we have a Halfwit in Chief who wears an ill fitting blue suit that more often than not looks like he slept in it, accessorized with a clownishly long red tie.

But that's ok. Because he's white, and full of hate. You know, a "real" American. The kind that Fundamentalist Christian Americans can wholeheartedly support.

Remember when the Republicans were the party of "law and order"? And not a collection of crooks? But that was a long time ago. Nowadays, from the First Family on down, they'd steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes.

We used to have allies that we relied on, and who relied on us. Now the only countries that can rely on us are Russia, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and Syria.

Donald J. Trump is incapable of obeying the laws of this nation. He has lived a life of illegality since he was very young. He was raised by a criminal. He has modeled himself after criminals. He acts like a criminal.

He is a criminal.

Only a criminal would spend so much time and effort hiding things. Honest people do not behave this way.

And still, after all of this, a large majority of Republicans still think Trump is a "good role model" for children.

This makes perfect sense if you're a Republican.

Not so much if you're a human being.

Gee, I Guess No Republican Woman Has Ever Gotten An Abortion, Huh?

To white male conservatives, women are essentially chattel.

Breeding stock. The "weaker" sex.

Too, uh, emotional, to control their own reproductive systems.

So men must control them.

And since the right to a safe abortion takes some of that control away, abortions must be outlawed.

That has been the sole thrust of large segments of the Republican Party for the last 40 years or so.

All those slobbering evangelicals screaming their fool heads off about Roe v. Wade.

They care, oh they care so deeply, about those fetuses.

Doctors are murdered, clinics are bombed, women are terrorized--all for those magic fetuses.

(Of course, once the child is born, unless he or she is white and rich, the good folks over at the GOP couldn't care less about them. Day care, family leave, Head Start,  good public schools, health care, subsidized lunches, after school programs? Nah. That's all handouts. That's all socialism.)

Since 99.9% of this vileness comes from the Republican Right, it raises the question asked in the title of this post; "Gee, I guess no Republican woman has ever gotten an abortion, huh?"

And if you believe that, well...

Fortunately, there is a solution and it's really pretty simple: if you are a female, and are against abortion--don't have one.

And if you are male, and against abortion--shut the fuck up. Mind your own goddamn business.

See. Simple.

Very Rich People Don't Really Like Democracy Much

Don't get me wrong, now.

They LOVE this country.

Not enough to pay more taxes, of course.

Not enough to worry about inequality. No.

Not enough to fight for health care and a quality education for all.

Not enough to be concerned about voter suppression and gerrymandering.

Not enough to be angry when the cops gun down another unarmed black or brown person.

No, that's not the kind of "love" we're talking about.

The kind of "love" they mean is "tough" love. Where they tell the rest of us to stop complaining about these issues and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps...because this is the "best country on the face of the earth" and "God loves the USA" and "poor people are lazy" and "welfare cheats are stealing from us all" and "food stamps make people dependent and obese" and "health care isn't a right" and "corporations and wealthy people are hideously overtaxed" and all of the other nonsensical bullshit they're so fond of spewing.

That's the kind of love they understand.

The wrap yourself in the flag, wave your Bible, and bitch about the "takers" kind.

It's The Hypocrisy, Stupid (Continued)

Remember when deficits were an awful, awful, indeed the most awful, thing?

And then, suddenly, they weren't!

And then, sure enough, suddenly, they were again.

But now...well, you get the idea.

Remember how certain people screamed that Obama shouldn't do anything in Syria without Congressional approval? Uh huh.

Remember how "scandalous" it was when Obama wore a (gasp) tan suit?

Or when Mrs. Obama touched the Queen of England?

Oh, and the birth certificate!!! What about the birth certificate?!

These were all big deals, you might even say yooge deals, for the Loudmouth Right Wing Asshole Club. The Limbaughs and Hannitys and O'Reillys brayed and brayed, their beady little eyes gleaming, their devoted listeners sucking up every lie like mother's milk.

But now we have a so called President up to his many chins in treasonous activities. A Mob friendly, pathological liar in a baggy suit, clown makeup, and a  fright wig. A White House full of Nazis and Russian fellow travelers, a Cabinet made up of crooks and incompetents, and nary a peep from those Republican "patriots" who regularly wet themselves over Obama's perceived transgressions.

If it weren't for their fealty to complete hypocrisy, the GOP wouldn't have any moral code at all.

The Enigma Of The Republican Party And Republicans In General

It's simply this: Not wanting to be seen as complete assholes while always acting like complete assholes.

They really can't help themselves.

They truly believe, deep down, that, despite all of their actions, they are not assholes. No, what they really think they are is patriots. It's the rest of us who are un-American. Us and our so-called facts.

Their hypocrisy is breathtaking and total. About everything.

And it gets tedious for the rest of us to have to constantly point it out.

Maybe that's the plan.

We'll get tired and finally just throw up our hands and say "Fine. Do whatever you want. Wreck the country. Wreck the world."