The Accomplishments Of Donald J. Trump

There follows an incomplete list of the major accomplishments of Donald J. Trump, soon to be a former President of the United States:

He made George W. Bush seem almost competent. At one point, I would have thought that that was impossible, but...we are forced from here on out to compare all Presidents, past and future to Trump. So, even though W. was by any fair accounting a fucking disaster, once you apply the Trump comparison meter, he was, well, still a fucking disaster--but not nearly as catastrophic a fucking disaster as Donald J. Trump. Because, for all of his faults, George W. Bush was not a racist, criminal, traitor. A combination that will henceforth be known as The Full Trump. 

At this point, all of our awful, crappy Presidents, move down one on the list of awful, crappy Presidents. Donald J. Trump is numbah 1, now and, if our luck holds, forever.

It's not all bad for Trump, though. After all, he ended the political career of Jeb "Please Clap" Bush. The "smart one" just didn't have the stones to defeat the "corrupt one". So we will have to wait another generation for a Bush to rise up and darken the land. Credit where credit is due to El Trumpo the Conqueror. 

He exposed the Republican Party for what it has been since 1968 at least: a collection of racists, hiding behind code words like "states' rights", "law and order", and "welfare queens". A party whose sole legislative purpose is to redistribute wealth upward while maintaining a permanent under class, all while appealing to the worst impulses of its base. How they got from the Party of Lincoln to this in a little over 100 years is a truly amazing achievement. 

He set an unbreakable record for lies. 25,000 of them as of today. Sure, all Presidents lie. But Jesus Christ, there's a difference between a dribble and a tsunami. Nixon and Reagan, previously thought of as the gold standard, were rank amateur liars compared to Donald J. Trump. He lies incessantly, he lies without a shred of conscience, he lies about everything and anything. He lies about things that there is no good reason to lie about. Obviously, he cannot help himself. With this amazing, unmatched, ability he really should have gone into religion instead of business. There's always a place for that level of mendacity in the Houses of the Lord. He already has the hair and the makeup, and if he can avoid prison (and that's a very big "if" hahaha) he could segue right into televangelism.

He helped to kill 265,000 Americans--and counting. And that's a lot. But at least he avoided a CoVid "panic". Right? On the plus side of the ledger, some of those were (and will be) his own supporters. When you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

I wonder, right before they intubate a MAGAt, do they ask "tired of winning yet?"

By necessity, this must remain an incomplete list. No doubt the Biden Justice Department will add many entries. 

In the meantime, he has a few more weeks to work his "magic".

The Grand Old Dumpster Fire

Wow.

I mean, really,WOW!

If you live long enough, you will see everything.

Like a cornered rat, and my apologies to rats everywhere, Der Trump snarls and bites at everything.

His tiny fangs glittering against his Cheeto orange skin. His even tinier hands grasping at whatever rhetorical dead end his poisonous brain can summon.

Meanwhile, Republican candidates everywhere try to figure out how to condemn what he says without actually condemning him, in order not to offend his supporters.

Cuz you wouldn't want to lose the stupid white racist demographic.

Certainly not after courting them since, oh, 1968 or so.

Let's see, there was the Southern Strategy, and "welfare queens in their Cadillacs", and Willie Horton, and the birthers, and right on up to Der Trump and the noxious garbage that he spews out on an hourly basis.

Pass the marshmallows, and just sit back and watch it burn...

Burn After Reading

CONFIDENTIAL
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

Strategy for all 2012 Republican candidates.

Greetings!

Congratulations on choosing the only party that truly loves America!

Since you have made the commitment to help save our beloved country from that arrogant Kenyan socialist, Barack Hussein Obama, you are entitled to know the innermost secrets and, more importantly, the proven election winning tactics of the GOP:

It's really very simple:

LIE all you want. FOX News will cover for you. Whatever outrageous nonsense you can come up with is fine with us. Tip: the crazier the better. Stuff that is so obviously wrong that a sane person wouldn't even consider saying it is incredibly effective with the typical American voter. It may sound counter productive--but trust us, it works!

An important reminder: when you're caught in a lie--do not apologize. Apologies are a sign of weakness. No, the trick is to just lie some more! Give our friends at FOX and our Lord and Master Rush Limbaugh a little time to defend you and miracles can happen!! Our plan to destroy the (socialist) public education system has paid off big time! People really are that stupid! So have some fun with it...

Even with such an effective propaganda machine there are a few things we never admit: Teddy Roosevelt was a Trust Buster not a Corporate Enabler. Prescott Bush did business with the Nazis. He also tried to start a coup d'etat against FDR. Without unions there would be no Middle Class. Richard Nixon started the EPA. Both Nixon and Ronald Reagan were party to treasonous acts that helped them get elected. Reagan raised taxes many times. Iran-Contra was an impeachable offense. Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000. George W. Bush was appointed President by the Supreme Court. Bush was in charge of national security on September 11th, 2001. Iraq had no WMDs and absolutely nothing to do with 9-11. Cutting taxes on millionaires and billionaires has never created jobs. Unregulated financial institutions and laissez faire economics led to the crashes of both 1929 and 2008. The individual mandate was a Republican idea.

If any of these are ever mentioned, immediately change the subject! Then attack the questioner's patriotism.

Remember, we are the Party of Lincoln! And of the "Southern Strategy". Crazy, isn't it? But when you can reconcile those two facts you are truly a Republican.

That's it. That's all you need to know!

Good luck and God Bless Amercia!

BURN AFTER READING

Terrifying

As we approach the tenth anniversary of September 11th, the avoidable tragedy that will be forever known, like Pearl Harbor, by its date, we find ourselves in an increasingly terrifying world.

Even though Bin Laden is finally dead--and killed not by order of that smirking, flight suit wearing, dry drunk, AWOL prone National Guardsman, Simple W, or his puppet master, the gun safety poster boy, multi student deferment wielding, Dark Lord Cheney, but instead by Barack Obama, our Kenyan Socialist semi-Democrat President--the world just gets scarier and scarier.

It turns out the enemy, to paraphrase Pogo, is "us".

"We" get fooled over and over by the same divide and conquer tactics that Nixon proudly called his Southern Strategy. Emphasize fear more than anything else. Play the whites off against the blacks. As an added twist play both off against the browns.

"We" accept stupid, simplistic explanations from bought and paid for corporate mouthpieces masquerading as statesmen or "mavericks".

"We" forget the lessons and struggles of the past at the drop of a hat. As a nation we have ADHD. We believe in a fictional history, fairy tales about a nation that never existed. And whoever tells them the best, Ronald Reagan being the prime example of this, gets our vote.

"We" make millionaires out of Murdoch, Limbaugh, Beck, O'Reilly and all of the other purveyors of hate, fear and divisiveness.

"We" don't want to pay taxes--but we still want services. But just for "us" and not for "them". Because "they" don't deserve them and "we" do.

"We" want to blame someone else. Usually the wrong someone else.

This nation will never fall to a foreign enemy. But the enemies within? I'm not so sure.