Thursday, February 27, 2014

It's Always All About The Benjamins

I'm not sure why it took almost a week for Jan Brewer to decide to veto SB1062.

I mean, it was two pages long. But that's why you have staff.  To read stuff and explain it to you.

Anyway, it seemed like a "no brainer" and therefore just right for our gal.

But I guess they had to run through the numbers for her a few times.

Until she understood.

Not that it was discriminatory.

Not that it was hateful.

Not that it was probably unconstitutional.

Not that it was just one more example of how backwards Arizona can be.

No. It was going to cost certain people cold hard cash. A lot of cold hard cash.

And we can't have that.

Now, to be fair, if you can come back with a law that will allow us to discriminate against certain people and not cost us anything monetarily, well, then Governor Jan would be happy to listen to you.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sorry, But That's Against My Religion

Let's put aside for a second that SB 1062, the "religious freedom" amendment just passed by the Republican controlled Arizona State legislature is almost certainly unconstitutional. (Sadly, you always have to say "almost" with the current makeup of the US Supreme Court.)

And that it codifies the idea that Christians are nothing but bigoted, racist, homophobic cranks, incapable of any kind of empathy for their fellow human beings, so insecure in their religion that they feel threatened by everything that doesn't exactly mirror their own beliefs.

And that we must now rely on a Republican hack, Governor Jan "Chuck, Tell Me What To Do" Brewer to veto it.

Instead, let's look at it from a practical standpoint:

When all the bigoted, racist, homophobic, real "Christians" in North America retire they'll want a nice, warm place to go.

A place where they'll be able to express their true feelings.

A place where they'll be safe from any prolonged contact with "The Other."

All the esteemed Republican members of the Arizona State legislature are trying to do is guarantee that Arizona is that place.

Cynics might call it their economic growth plan.

Their only economic growth plan.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Is Our Children Learning Yet?

It shouldn't be surprising that the Republicans in Arizona are pushing, hard, for more charter schools. Arizona Republicans hate public education, and they will do anything to undermine it.

See, a well funded, functioning, public school system might level the playing field a little, and we couldn't have that, could we?

Also, public school teachers belong to a union, and unions, as every good Arizonan knows, are the Devil's work. So adding a bunch of charter schools, with little or no oversight of course, to suck as much money as they can from the education budget makes perfect sense to them.

No. That's not surprising. Not for the "I've Got Mine, Fuck You" Party.

What should be surprising is that the latest push is coming from the state's Superintendent of Public Instruction, John Huppenthal. You know, the guy that was elected to look after the best interests of our public schools. Oops. Occasionally, the curtain slips, and you get a glimpse of what these people really are all about.

Ha ha ha, the jokes on us! Again.

The last 30 years or so of the Republican Party only begins to make sense when you begin to understand that the entire party, from Ronnie Reagan, through Bush The Elder and Bush The Lesser, the Dark Lord Cheney, Rummy and Rice, Romney, Cruz, Palin, Gohmert, the Tea Party, Bachmann, Santorum, Issa, and all the rest of the festering pile, is an ongoing piece of performance art.

And performance art has nothing to do with good governance.

No. It's all about the show. The wilder the better!

Friday, February 14, 2014

We Are What We Are

It should be simple enough. Your political party needs to attract some combination of women, Hispanics, African Americans and gays to survive.

Your base is old and white and dying out. Sooner or later you will die out with them.

So, you have to figure out some way to appeal to a broader demographic.

It isn't that hard. It really isn't. You know what you need to say and do. Everybody knows what you need to say and do. It isn't rocket science, after all.

But every time you try, every single time, you end up shooting yourself in the foot.

One of your geniuses says something so offensive, so reactionary, so antebellum South in its nature that people laugh at you.

Oh, not all of the people. Just the ones you're trying to court.

You end up repelling and offending the very people you need to survive.


The truth is, you can't help yourselves. 

Because, at the end of the day, we are what we are.

The world changes, but people don't change much. We just get older. So if you were taught hatred and bigotry and racism as a child, if those were your family values, odds are you still harbor those characteristics at your core.

You are what you are. And you were raised without any empathy for anyone who might be different.

You genuflect before money. You are living in the past and you fear the prospect of change. You believe all the Bible stories you learned in Sunday school. Science is just a bunch of theories. Minorities are inferior. Women are chattel. And don't get you started on the "gay agenda."

You are what you are.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Worst. Speaker. Ever.

This post started out to be Worst. Super Bowl. Ever.

But I got sidetracked. And, besides, the Super Bowl just boiled down to the simple fact that God must not like Peyton Manning.

After all, I heard several Seahawks thanking the big man upstairs for their victory. If they're correct, that means ipso facto, that God doesn't like Peyton Manning.

Or maybe the Almighty is just sick to death of that Papa John's guy. I know I am. And don't get me started on that horse's ass John Elway...

Anyway, "ultimate" games come and go, and after you've swept up all the corn chip detritus, mopped away the spilt beer, and settled up with your bookie, life goes on.

Which brings us to John Boehner. The Worst Speaker Ever.

In the coming years, entire libraries will be written about the inadequacies of our little orange friend.

And all those words will boil down to one thing:

Boehner is a sad, weak, little man. He can't control his party. He is afraid to offend the lobbyists that keep him in office. He is afraid to offend the Tea Party. He is afraid to offend Rush Limbaugh. He is afraid to do anything. The only legislation he can get passed through the House is the monthly repeal Obamacare measure. And we saw how that worked out for him.

So there will be no immigration reform, no re-build our infrastructure jobs' bill, no nothing. Naturally, all of this isn't his fault. No. It is President Obama's fault.

According to Johnny Boy, the President can't be trusted to enforce our laws. So why even try to come up with any new ones? And that's that.

Tonight, instead of doing anything positive for the country, weepy John Boehner sits somewhere with his bourbon, and his bronzer, and his big, flaccid gavel, and whines about that man in the White House.