"The Nearest Run Thing You Ever Saw In Your LIfe"

The title of this post is a quote from the Duke of Wellington about the Battle of Waterloo.

I take it to mean that, if one or two minor things had or hadn't happened, Napoleon would have won.

And the history of Europe would have been very different.

The margin for error was just that thin. 

The more we learn about the January 6th insurrection, the more clearly we see that it was also a "nearest run thing."

You might think that a lifetime of bankruptcies, business failures, divorces, and indictments would have taught Donald J. Trump how to accept defeat. 

Au contraire. 

The King of the MAGAts had a plan to overturn the election. A 6 point plan, put together by the kind of lawyers that attach themselves to people like Donald J. Trump, i.e. the sleaziest kind.

And, if one or two things had gone his way...

Our democracy is just that fragile. 

The Founders anticipated many things.  They did not anticipate something like Donald J. Trump, with a hand picked Supreme Court, and a political party so afraid of him that it would be willing to trash the Constitution just to keep him happy.

By the way, Mike Pence really deserves no credit for ultimately not going along with the plan. He searched and searched and searched for a way to do what his Master wanted.

Finally, apparently after consulting with another half-wit Hoosier former Veep, he did the right thing, the only thing he legally could do.

(And, naturally, was then threatened with death by Traitor Don's traitorous followers.)

When the fate of your democracy rests on the Constitutional wisdom of Dan Quayle, you have truly dodged a bullet.

What Fresh Hell Is This?

A sometime contributor to The Arizona Republic, Jon Gabriel, who publishes something called Ricochet, which from all appearances is just chock full of Conservative/Libertarian nonsense, recently wrote an opinion piece for the paper stating that he thinks Kamala Harris isn't cut out to be Vice President. With that sentiment in mind, perhaps we should recall some of her predecessors:

Richard Nixon was Eisenhower's veep. Enough said.

Spiro Agnew was Nixon's veep. And, quelle surprise, a convicted crook. Birds of a feather, I guess. 

 

Gerald Ford replaced Agnew and all he did was pardon Mr. I Am Not A Crook for his various crimes.

 

George H.W. Bush was neck deep in Iran-Contra while the Great Communicator and Mommy consulted their astrologist. 

 

Dan Quayle was out spelled by a child. 

 

Dick "The Dark Lord" Cheney gleefully led George "Simple W." Bush deeper into the Middle East abyss that we still haven't emerged from.

 

And Mike Pence was last seen cuddling up to the man whose followers desperately wanted to hang him not so long ago. Grovel much?

 

Quite a list, huh? All they have in common was their white maleness, their sterling Conservative Credentials, and that "R" beside their names. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Not cut out for? Don't make me laugh.

 

Crooked As A Dog's Hind Leg*

They got Al Capone on income taxes.

He murdered people. He strong armed people. He bribed. He lied. He cheated. He stole.

But they got him on not paying his taxes.

Al Capone surrounded himself with criminals.

He was a crook, through and through. A very successful crook for many years.

But he wasn't, as far as I can tell, a traitor.

Donald J. Trump has also surrounded himself with crooks.

Unfortunately for Donald J., his crooks aren't nearly as competent as Capone's.

And apparently some of them aren't willing to take the fall for Donald's various crimes.

This must come as a shock to Trump, who has spent his entire adult life committing crimes of one kind or another.

And getting away with it. Either through bribery or intimidation or just shear dumb luck.

That's over.

He will be impeached. He may or may not be convicted by the Senate. Depends on whether or not a few Republicans grow a conscience and a spine.

Regarding the election of 2020, who knows? With the entire GOP determined to look away from Russian interference, we can only keep our fingers crossed about the outcome.

But that doesn't matter, really. The Trump brand, which is one of the only things Donald J. cares about, is over. There will only be a pile of ashes for his awful progeny to inherit--if they all aren't in jail, that is.

*"Crooked as a dog's hind leg" is how my late father-in-law described a certain East Valley politician with whom he was acquainted. It seems appropriate when discussing Donald J. Trump to use it.

Freak Show

Remember when the Emperor Numbnuts told us that he only knew the "best people"?

Seems like a century ago...but it's really only been a couple of years, more than enough time to render judgment.

Well, if these are "the best", I'd hate to see the worst.

Starting in no particular order, let's take a quick look at "the best".

There's Kellyanne Conway, that walking scarecrow, who lies as easily as most people breath. Numbnuts should study her closely, despite the fact that she's definitely not a 10, because she's much better at lying than he is.

What about Billy Barr, whose Daddy gave Jeffrey Epstein a job at the elite Dalton school in NYC, showing a very perceptive understanding of human character, which he has passed down to his boy Billy. Barr has shown himself to be what we expected him to be, a Republican hack, who disregards the Constitution whenever it suits him.

Then there's Wilbur Ross, who came to the administration from one of the most corrupt banks on the planet, and apparently sleeps through most, if not all, of his department's meetings.

Rick Perry and Ben Carson are sharing one second rate brain, and poorly at that. 

Mike Pompeo has ground the State Department down to a fine dust, which I'm sure makes his "real" boss, Mr. Putin, very happy indeed.

Brett Kavanaugh shouldn't be allowed near any court, let alone our Supreme one. He's a liar, a sexual predator, and probably an alcoholic as well. But he went to Yale (pinch me!) so, it's all good.

Mike Pence is one of those holier-than-thou Christian pieces of shit which our country is uniquely infected with.

Betsy DeVos is a billionaire cretin, who is doing her best to destroy our public education system. Because "they" go to public schools and we certainly don't want to help "them" in any way. 

Let's skip over all of the "best people" who are now serving time and get to Numbnuts' family:

The boys, Junior and Eric, are exactly what you'd expect Donald J. Trump's sons to be. That's not a compliment. Spoiled, stupid, corrupt, entitled....I could go on, but what's the use? A lot of that comes from their "superior" genes. And the rest from the way they were raised.

Then there's Princess, who is just as spoiled, entitled and corrupt as her brothers, but maybe not quite as stupid. Maybe. What Princess brings to table, in addition to her slumlord husband, is a Daddy who desperately wants to, uh, "couple" with her.  Which sounds like something out of a lesser Greek tragedy. Of course, in Greek tragedy they usually all end up dead at the end. Something to hope for, I guess.

We will skip the other two Trump spawn. Because, honestly, why should we give them more attention than he does?

That leaves Melania, wife number 3. At this point,  I would not be surprised to find out that she was a Russian plant. A sparrow sent to entrap an idiot. Be Best!

My God! I almost overlooked Roger Stone! The man with a tattoo of Nixon on his back. A little too high to be a proper tramp stamp, but still...it's the spirit of the thing. Ponder that for a second. A grown man with a tattoo of Richard M. Nixon, noted crook and up until now our most disgraced President, on his back. That should go over well in prison.

Only The Best People

Remember when our #FakePresident told us that he only knew the best people and his administration would only hire the best people?

Feels like a few centuries have passed since then, I know, but it was only little more than a year ago.

So, let's take a look at how some of "the best" people are doing.

Mike "Junior Jesus" Pence: any man who is afraid of what might happen if he's left alone with a (gasp) woman not his wife probably shouldn't be a heartbeat away from anything, let alone the Presidency. In general, people who think God is talking to them should be avoided, if not institutionalized.

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions: uh, whoever thinks it's a good idea to have a fucking white supremacist piece of shit running the Justice Department raise their hands. That is if you can, what with that sheet you're wearing.

Betsy DeVos: choosing someone with no practical knowledge of, or belief in, public education to run the Department of Education is exactly the kind of thinking we've come to cherish from our Flaming Orange Anus in Chief. Bravo sir, bravo!

Rick Perry: just another Republican idiot. No, the glasses don't make you look any smarter, Rickster. If only it were that easy.

Dr. Ben Carson: goes to show there are black idiots as well as white idiots in the Republicans' big tent. Some call that progress.

Wilbur "Ethics? What's That?" Ross: you'd think being on the board of one of the most corrupt banks in the world, the Bank of Cyprus, would disqualify you from being Secretary of Commerce. You'd be wrong. How about nodding off during meetings? No? Oh, I get it now. He makes Trump look virile and vital by comparison.

Steven Mnuchin: Stevie has him a trophy wife! But it sure wasn't for first place. Doesn't matter. They've both nestled up to the Government teat, and they are going to suck it for all it's worth.

General John Kelly: a racist, sexist, liar. It must be like looking in a mirror for Der Trump. Oh, wait. Kelly is a decorated Marine general, too, and not Cadet Bone Spurs. Uh, remind me again when we last won a war? Thank you for your service!

Scott Pruitt: you can't say that the Trumpster doesn't have a sense of humor. Most people would naturally assume that the EPA was created to protect the environment (I mean, Christ, it's in its name). And not to facilitate its rape and degradation, which is the only thing that Scott "First Class Is The Only Way I Can Fly" Pruitt is interested in. 

Jared "Side Hustle" Kushner: what can you say about this kid? Peddling his "influence" to whoever has a dollar. Slum lord. Tax cheat. Liar. "The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree" pretty much sums it up. His Dad is a crook, too. So naturally, he married into a family of criminals. They're not very good at it, but still, it's the thought that counts.

And let's not forget Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Sebastian Gorka, Stephen Miller, Hope Hicks, Sean Spicer, Reince Priebus, Sarah Huckleberry Sanders, the Mooch, and each and every one of that crack Trump legal team.

If these are the best, sweet Jesus who or what would be the worst?

Not Just A Moron, But A Fucking Moron

Donald J. Trump has, in just a few months, accomplished something that I thought was impossible:

He has made George W. Bush look almost competent.

Almost...

The Trump family itself is a pretty good argument for forced sterilization. Der Trump often boasts of his "good genes". Ha! I didn't know there were specific genes for avarice, greed, racism, sexism, pathological lying, and a total lack of empathy for any other human.

And how 'bout that Cabinet?!

A regular murderers' row of crooks, liars, racists, imbeciles, and the merely unqualified.

The damage that this moron, oh excuse me, apparently the proper term is fucking moron, has inflicted to this nation in such a brief time is mind boggling.

It will take years to undo it. If it can be undone...

And that's if #FakePresident doesn't start a nuclear war--just to show he can.

And for all the "regular" people who still blindly support this Epic Fool, I guess the question is what will it take to get you to stop being suckers?

Or is that genetic, too?

Heil To The Tweeter In Chief

So, we're going from a cool, collected, intelligent, learned man to a 70 year old spoiled brat with the impulse control of a peeved teenage drama queen.

Anybody see any potential problems with that?

It's comforting to know that when that infamous 3:00 a.m. phone call finally comes in, Fearless Leader will be too busy tweeting to answer it, his tiny little fingers pecking away, oblivious to everything except satisfying his boundless ego.

Man, we are truly fucked.

Poor Little Mike Pence

So this homophobic, theocratic, bigot goes to a Broadway show and gets booed...

Never been prouder to be a theatre lover in my life.

Fuck Mike Pence.

The theatre is a place of inclusion. Not exclusion. Always has been. Always will be.

Except for complete assholes. No room for them. Maybe try NASCAR next time...

Fuck Mike Pence.

And fuck his new boss, too.

Dante's Inferno Revisited

They're adding another circle to hell just for Trump and his supporters.

It's going to be the best!

Very yooge and beautiful and very, very classy!

The Guiliani Lounge is spectacular.

And the Chris Christie Vomitorium is, well, exactly what you'd expect.

Plenty of room for expansion, too.

If you have to spend eternity burning for you sins, this is the place to do it!

This Will Be Fun...Of A Sort

Fairly soon, we will find out if there are enough truly crazy people in this country to elect Donald J. Trump president.

And since there is never a shortage of truly crazy people in our lovely country, there's no way of knowing until the night of the election.

Of course, the Republicans are expert at stealing elections, but do they really want Trump?

Hmmm.

Until then, we will be entertained by more bat shit crazy pronouncements from the P.T. Barnum of American politics.

Of course, none of his bat shit blurting will bother the Aggrieved Faithful. If they haven't been turned off by now...

I mean, this is a guy whose businesses have gone bankrupt multiple times, who has outsourced to China, who has used foreign laborers, who has done deals with the Mob. And whose tax returns are so, oh let's call them "interesting", that he's afraid to let them see the light of day.

He denigrates women, Muslims, blacks, Latinos, the handicapped....the list is endless.

He's had multiple wives, countless affairs, and he apparently practices a rather unique form of piecemeal Christianity, that would normally be repellant to the family values crowd.

But he's white...and he's gonna come down hard on the black and brown skin people who leech off the rest of us. And he's gonna scare the rest of the world into...something...

And, most importantly, He's Going To Make America Great Again!!!

He promised!

Clarifying The Situation

Personally, I think it's great when a state codifies its prejudices and/or general stupidity. For one thing, it removes all doubt about what vermin they have as their governor and in their legislatures.

And that's a good thing!

Because now, when they pretend that they aren't bigoted, phony Christian, science denying, gerrymandering, vote suppressing, homophobic, misogynistic, sociopathic assholes, we can say, "hey, but you made this law, which clearly indicates that you are!"

Ha ha ha.

Not that it will matter to the idiots that elected them, but still...

So go Indiana! Go Arizona! Go Arkansas! Go Texas! Go Florida! Go Mississippi! Go North Carolina! Go South Carolina! Go Oklahoma! Go Kansas!

Hmmm, I see a definite pattern here...

A couple of late night thoughts

It's late and I just feel like getting a couple of things out there into the ether. On Thursday I'm planning to write more about Wisconsin, Scott Walker, John Kasich and Ronald Reagan, but tonight I just want to make a couple of points.

First, bravo to the Obama administration and the Department of Justice for the announcement that they will no longer defend the DOMA in appellate court. I can't help but think this is the beginning of the end for DOMA, an act that along with Don't Ask Don't Tell has always seemed to me to be both unconstitutional and repellent in its discrimination against roughly 10% of the American public. The right has already begun its assault on this decision, with that harridan Monica Crowley leading the way on Fox calling Obama "Mubarak Obama" and stating that this is a dictatorial decision by the administration. This only leads me to believe that Crowley needs to get a dictionary and try to find out what the word "dictatorial" actually means, because it's pretty apparent that she doesn't understand it right now.

Next, the Presidential election of 2012. Which Republican is actually going to try to run? One would think by their rhetoric that the Republicans would be lining up to face a socialist dictator who by their account is the most unpopular President in history, but the early frontrunners already seem to be dropping out. John Thune, that handsome dude from South Dakota? Nope. Mike Pence, that erstwhile defender of liberty from Indiana? Says he ain't gonna try. Let's see -- who else is out there. Oh yeah. Chris Christie, Anne Coulter's dream of a boy toy. Will he run? According to him he will commit suicide before running, just to convince people that he's not running. Who does that leave now? Mitt Romney, the plastic master of change (he can change his opinion in an instant depending on which way the political wind is blowing) who got slaughtered just two years ago? Mike Huckabee, the evolution denier who tries to come across as somewhat moderate -- a stance that disappears upon any close appraisal of his policies and words? Newt Gingrich? Give me a break.

Nope, none of those could possibly beat Obama and I believe they all know it. Who does that leave? Please, please, by all that's holy, let the last two candidates I can think of please run. That's right, ex-Governor half-term, Sarah Palin, and crazy lady who seems to have frostbite of the brain, Michele Bachmann. If she were to actually run and be forced to face actual reporters at some point and not just the droids at Fox, Palin's approval rating by November 2012 would probably hover at somewhere around 15%. And is there really even anything to say about someone who believes that Glenn Beck can solve the nation's financial crisis? Enough said....although if anyone in the country would be happier than me for Presidential runs by these two idiots, it could only be Jon Stewart and the writing staff at Saturday Night Live.

I'll be back later with my thoughts on Walker and labor, particularly regarding the influence Ronald Reagan has had on them. For now, good night.