Verily I say unto ye,
All will be forgiven!
Except the gays and the blacks and certain "loose" women and the Mexicans and the heathen and anybody else I don't cotton to.
For my God is a forgiving God...some of the time...for some of the people.
And because He loves us so--some of us at least--He shall send unto thee a child.
Well, not exactly a child.
More like a thrice married, sometime adulterous, hillbilly woman who has now "seen the light."
And this hillbilly woman, tho she may be deeply flawed in many ways, and seriously lacking in what those godforsaken liberals arrogantly call "intelligence", as if there were anything truly worth knowing besides "The Book", will be unto thee a fountain of knowledge.
And she will interpret for thee what thou should and shouldn't do in regards to mans' laws.
For mans' silly laws are always secondary to His laws.
Even if you've taken an oath on His book to dutifully abide by and administer their laws.
Verily this might be considered an ethical conundrum--if any of us knew what that was.
But obviously we don't, and that in and of itself must be part of His Great Plan.
So I sayeth unto thee, once and for always, Ignorance is truly Bliss.
Therefore, the more Ignorant the more Blissful.
Amen.
Showing posts with label hillbilly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hillbilly. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Friday, October 25, 2013
Maybe Someday...
Maybe someday...
The hillbillies will realize that they're being played for saps by the billionaires who've bankrolled the Tea Party.
People will wake up to the indisputable truth that "socialized" medicine is cheaper and more effective than the nonsensical system we have.
Poor whites will figure out that the poor blacks and the poor browns aren't their enemies.
American businesses will remember that it was a growing, vital middle class that made our economy the envy of the world.
Red State voters will begin to wonder if there's some correlation between not funding public education and being really, really stupid.
Men will awaken to the fact that women should have the fundamental right to control their reproductive systems.
Folks will read all of the Second Amendment and learn that, contrary to what the NRA says, it does not give carte blanche to gun owners.
Every American citizen will ask themselves why the Koch brothers, and like minded billionaire scum, don't want us to have access to affordable health care, or unions, or protection against corporations, or an EPA, or...
Grover Norquist, Wayne La Pierre, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Louie Gohmert, Steve King, Rand Paul, all of the Fox "News" kids, and everyone else who spreads lies, bile, and hatred to make a buck, will be kicked to the curb, and/or laughed into irrelevance. Then they can all go off to Clown College, where they really belong.
Maybe someday....but don't hold your breath.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Starring Ron Gould As The Rifleman
Arizona being what it is, our esteemed legislature, led by Ron Gould, R-Gun Lobby, is doing its damnedest to allow guns, rifles, bazookas, etc on our college and university campuses. Because anything less would be an infringement on our 2nd Amendment rights.
And there's nothing that pisses a hillbilly off more than having his 2nd Amendment rights trampled on by anyone.
(Unless it's something to do with Mexicans...that really pisses them off, too. So you can't say that our desert hillbillies don't have a variety of interests.)
There should be something somewhere in the Constitution about having our lives endangered by letting a bunch of gun lovin', half wits run roughshod over the rights of everyone else, but apparently there isn't...
(And God bless the NRA for making sure that no one ever reads the first part of the 2nd Amendment.)
Anyway, Ron Gould, R-Wild West, wants to make sure that every student on every campus of higher education in Arizona can be free to pack whatever caliber weapon he or she can afford.
Because there's no one more emotionally stable than your typical college kid. In between bouts of binge drinking, that is. So why shouldn't they have the capability of protecting themselves with lethal force from every threat, real or imagined? I mean, you just never know when a Mexican drug cartel is going to roll into fraternity row and start lopping off heads, do you? No, you do not.
Ron Gould, R-Smith and Wesson, must live his life in perpetual fear of being bushwacked. Gould, who represents one of those sad, backward little towns that border the Colorado river, where the mindset is still trapped in the 80's--that is the 1880's--probably takes his 12 gauge and a copy of the John Birch Society newsletter to the outhouse every morning. There he sits, ready for anything, waiting for nature to take its course.
Then he and the missus, (if there is a missus--did I mention Gould sports an "homage to Ben Turpin" mustache? Sweet!), and their brood of--no doubt--home schooled 'young-uns' take the buggy into the general store for provisions and such. All of them armed to the teeth, and constantly looking over their shoulders--because you never know. Might be Injuns! Might be revenuers! Might be that Obama come after Grandma with a death panel! Be afraid. Be very, very afraid!
Should this legislation be signed into law, it will do wonders to the out of state enrollment figures for ASU, NAU, and UofA. Because what concerned parent wouldn't want his son or daughter to have the right to carry a weapon on campus? I tell you, it's a game changer! Who says Arizona doesn't care about education?!
Our universities will never be known as the Harvards of the West. But God willing they have a shot at being the next Virginia Tech...
And there's nothing that pisses a hillbilly off more than having his 2nd Amendment rights trampled on by anyone.
(Unless it's something to do with Mexicans...that really pisses them off, too. So you can't say that our desert hillbillies don't have a variety of interests.)
There should be something somewhere in the Constitution about having our lives endangered by letting a bunch of gun lovin', half wits run roughshod over the rights of everyone else, but apparently there isn't...
(And God bless the NRA for making sure that no one ever reads the first part of the 2nd Amendment.)
Anyway, Ron Gould, R-Wild West, wants to make sure that every student on every campus of higher education in Arizona can be free to pack whatever caliber weapon he or she can afford.
Because there's no one more emotionally stable than your typical college kid. In between bouts of binge drinking, that is. So why shouldn't they have the capability of protecting themselves with lethal force from every threat, real or imagined? I mean, you just never know when a Mexican drug cartel is going to roll into fraternity row and start lopping off heads, do you? No, you do not.
Ron Gould, R-Smith and Wesson, must live his life in perpetual fear of being bushwacked. Gould, who represents one of those sad, backward little towns that border the Colorado river, where the mindset is still trapped in the 80's--that is the 1880's--probably takes his 12 gauge and a copy of the John Birch Society newsletter to the outhouse every morning. There he sits, ready for anything, waiting for nature to take its course.
Then he and the missus, (if there is a missus--did I mention Gould sports an "homage to Ben Turpin" mustache? Sweet!), and their brood of--no doubt--home schooled 'young-uns' take the buggy into the general store for provisions and such. All of them armed to the teeth, and constantly looking over their shoulders--because you never know. Might be Injuns! Might be revenuers! Might be that Obama come after Grandma with a death panel! Be afraid. Be very, very afraid!
Should this legislation be signed into law, it will do wonders to the out of state enrollment figures for ASU, NAU, and UofA. Because what concerned parent wouldn't want his son or daughter to have the right to carry a weapon on campus? I tell you, it's a game changer! Who says Arizona doesn't care about education?!
Our universities will never be known as the Harvards of the West. But God willing they have a shot at being the next Virginia Tech...
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Bang Bang!! Bang Bang!!
I know it's pointless to talk about gun control in Arizona, but well, much of life is ultimately pointless, and so, why not?
I've spent the past few weeks wondering how severely my personal freedom would be harmed by keeping all guns out of the hands of the mentally unstable, and 30 shot clips out of the hands of everyone. And despite the usual dire warnings from the NRA and their bought and paid for minions (political and media) about the threat to my Constitutional rights, I just don't feel too threatened by the prospect. But then, I've read all of the Second Amendment and not just the part that seemingly supports unlimited access to everything the gun manufacturers can conjure, including "cop killer" bullets, rifles that are capable of shooting an airliner out of the sky, and anything else that goes bang bang.
For the record, the Second Amendment to the Constitution reads in full "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." "Well regulated"? Another word for regulation is "law." Laws are usually enacted and enforced by governments. Therefore, "well regulated" certainly seems to imply some sort of government control. So, even the 'let's go back to the original intent strict constructionists' amongst you must admit that 'gun control' is as much a part of the Constitution as 'the right to bear arms.' To further reinforce this notion, Section 8 of Article 1 of the Constitution explains how the Congress can call forth this Militia after first organizing, arming, and disciplining them. And reserves for the states the appointment of officers and the authority of training this Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress. (By the way, every Supreme Court decision regarding the Second Amendment since United States v. Miller-1939, has upheld the government's right to control certain kinds of weapons. And that includes the current Scalia/Thomas court.)
Now I realize this is the Wild West and we only have to obey those laws and/or parts of the Constitution that we agree with. Because Russell Pearce, that noted Constitutional authority, and Grand Imperial Wizard of Mesa, says so. Can I get a rousing "Amen!" from the hillbilly chorus? You bet I can.
However it should be pointed out that, since popular culture plays such a big part in many people's understanding of American history, in the Wild West that Hollywood taught us to love, the first thing the new sheriff did (after the old sheriff had been gunned down by some citizen enjoying his Second Amendment rights) was to confiscate all the guns of anyone wishing to enjoy whatever civilized delights the town offered. Remember? Leave your guns with the sheriff while you're boozing or whoring or whatever, and then you can pick them up on your way out of town. In other words, the Wild West stopped at the city limits. Out on the open range you can do what you want, but civilization, by definition, must enforce certain rules. I think that's still a reasonable request.
I've spent the past few weeks wondering how severely my personal freedom would be harmed by keeping all guns out of the hands of the mentally unstable, and 30 shot clips out of the hands of everyone. And despite the usual dire warnings from the NRA and their bought and paid for minions (political and media) about the threat to my Constitutional rights, I just don't feel too threatened by the prospect. But then, I've read all of the Second Amendment and not just the part that seemingly supports unlimited access to everything the gun manufacturers can conjure, including "cop killer" bullets, rifles that are capable of shooting an airliner out of the sky, and anything else that goes bang bang.
For the record, the Second Amendment to the Constitution reads in full "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." "Well regulated"? Another word for regulation is "law." Laws are usually enacted and enforced by governments. Therefore, "well regulated" certainly seems to imply some sort of government control. So, even the 'let's go back to the original intent strict constructionists' amongst you must admit that 'gun control' is as much a part of the Constitution as 'the right to bear arms.' To further reinforce this notion, Section 8 of Article 1 of the Constitution explains how the Congress can call forth this Militia after first organizing, arming, and disciplining them. And reserves for the states the appointment of officers and the authority of training this Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress. (By the way, every Supreme Court decision regarding the Second Amendment since United States v. Miller-1939, has upheld the government's right to control certain kinds of weapons. And that includes the current Scalia/Thomas court.)
Now I realize this is the Wild West and we only have to obey those laws and/or parts of the Constitution that we agree with. Because Russell Pearce, that noted Constitutional authority, and Grand Imperial Wizard of Mesa, says so. Can I get a rousing "Amen!" from the hillbilly chorus? You bet I can.
However it should be pointed out that, since popular culture plays such a big part in many people's understanding of American history, in the Wild West that Hollywood taught us to love, the first thing the new sheriff did (after the old sheriff had been gunned down by some citizen enjoying his Second Amendment rights) was to confiscate all the guns of anyone wishing to enjoy whatever civilized delights the town offered. Remember? Leave your guns with the sheriff while you're boozing or whoring or whatever, and then you can pick them up on your way out of town. In other words, the Wild West stopped at the city limits. Out on the open range you can do what you want, but civilization, by definition, must enforce certain rules. I think that's still a reasonable request.
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