Saturday, March 31, 2012

If Only...

If only we were all rich, white males, all of our problems would disappear...

Racism, bigotry, misogyny, inequality, poverty--all gone, just like that! No worries about health care costs either. In short, a kind of monochromatic Paradise.

Naturally, there would still be rampant homophobia. After all, despite what the song says, money doesn't change everything.

Still, the only real drawback I can see is that the human race would quickly die out, but I call that a small price to pay.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Well, What Have We Learned?

The Supreme Court is as highly politicized as the Congress. After Bush v. Gore and Citizens United was there really any doubt? Look out Roe v. Wade! Give the current line-up a chance and they'll have us back in the 1800's before you know it. Dred Scott anyone?

Also, once you're on the Court the usual judicial standards just don't apply anymore. The idea of recusing yourself for an obvious conflict of interest? Ridiculous!

Wearing a "hoodie" is a capital offense. Quick, someone warn Bill Belichick and Eddie Vedder! Oh, that's right, they're white. Never mind.

The majority of our state legislatures seem to think that women are too stupid, or too cavalier about the "sanctity" of life, to be allowed control over their reproductive systems.

In the end, there isn't that much difference between fundamentalist Christians and fundamentalist Muslims. They both think that God speaks directly to them and them only, and that justifies anything they do.

There is no depth to which a Republican presidential candidate will not sink to appeal to their base.

About half of the American people have no idea what government does. They fervently believe the old Reagan lie that "government is the problem." Someday soon they may find out just how much they really do need the Federal government. And it won't be there.

The problem isn't with my "entitlements"; the problem is with your "entitlements".

Apparently the Dodgers are worth $2 billion.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Some People

Some people understand just how irrational human beings can become in certain circumstances.

Some people do not.

Some people know that it is possible for even the most sensible, reasonable, even-tempered person to go completely berserk at times.

Some people do not.

Some people realize that it only takes a moment of fear, or panic, or hatred, or stupidity, to start a chain of events that lead to tragedy.

Some people do not.

So some people understand that it's really not a very good idea for every citizen to be armed.

And some people do not.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

No News Is Good News?

According to a recent study by Farleigh Dickinson University, people who watch Fox News know less than people who watch no news at all.

So the Fox crew, and by extension their soul mates Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and all the rest of the right-wing noise machine, are anti-intelligence devices. They are the opposite of learning, the negation of knowledge. Un-learning anyone?

If you watch Fox News, and believe what they tell you, you are in a deep hole and you are digging constantly to make it deeper.

You are demonstrably better off not knowing anything than knowing something from Fox News.

This explains so much about the state of our world! It is the Rosetta Stone for understanding contemporary America.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Anti Christ

Let's get one thing straight: nobody is a "better" Christian than Rick "Gimme That Old Time Religion" Santorum.

No, not even Jesus, who was, after all, a Jew...

That's right. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but Jesus was a Jew. Not a Catholic, not a Methodist, not a Lutheran. And definitely not a Mormon.

And the idea of a group of worldwide, extremely wealthy, corporate religions mangling His few simple teachings for fun and, especially, profit would make His head spin.

However, since religion has surpassed patriotism as the last refuge of a scoundrel, anybody running for anything has to claim some sort of special, close relationship to God and His kid. To my way of thinking these relationships are usually tentative, often strained, and always one-sided. But that's just me.

(It's kind of like those genealogists who claim that this person or that is somehow related to the Queen of England. Yeah, right. Try that at the gate to Buckingham Palace and see how far you get.)

Anyway, since there is no provable connection, only hearsay, we must judge these people by their actions and not by what they say they are. Because, let's face it, people say a lot of things that are easily dis-proven.

So the question is: which candidate at least attempts to help the less fortunate, with things like housing, schools, food, jobs, and health care? And which candidates don't? Which candidate speaks out for inclusion and which for exclusion? Who encourages community and who encourages divisiveness? Who uses their religion as a truncheon, and who as a salve?

Therefore, using all the available data, judging them solely by their actions and beliefs, the "content of their character and not the color of their skin", and disregarding all the Super Dooper Party O'God crap that passes for Republican orthodoxy these days, one can only come to the conclusion that Rick Santorum is much closer than Barack Obama to being the anti-Christ.

In fact, it's no contest.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Here Lies Willard Mitt Romney

And lies and lies and lies and lies...

If it's not about Medicare or Social Security, it's about RomneyCare or what Bain Capital actually did to make money. Or how much he does--or doesn't--pay in taxes. Or...

Oh well, I guess we should expect nothing more from a Republican presidential candidate. Doesn't matter how much money they have, where they went to school, or how "moral" they claim to be. They just can't help themselves.

And who can blame them? It's been a highly successful "strategerie." Say one thing and yet do exactly the opposite. And always be the first to point the finger at the other guy. Then wrap yourself in the flag and grab a Bible.

They've gotten away with it since Nixon, whose "people" convinced the South Vietnamese to stay away from the Paris peace talks long enough to get himself elected. That's treason, by the way. Then, after a brief pause brought on by Watergate, it really kicked into high gear with Ronald Reagan, whose "people", allied with the Israeli's, subverted President Carter's negotiations with Iran to help tilt the 1980 election to Reagan. That's treason, too. Since the allegedly "liberal" Mainstream Media mostly ignored these acts, the Republicans were unshackled and emboldened enough that their lying, by now institutionalized, has stayed at near terminal velocity since then.

Remember Simple W. and the Dark Lord Cheney? I rest my case.

Today, the Party of Lincoln has finally reached rock bottom, willfully turning itself into the Party of Norquist and Limbaugh. And its candidate will come from Romney, Santorum or Gingrich. As that loveable cut-up Karl Marx once said, "history repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce."

I am tired. I have not the time, space, or inclination to list all of their various lies. It's not that hard to look them up. Suffice it to say, if their lips are moving there's a better than 50% chance that they are lying.

But some of you will still vote for them anyway. Is it because you are stupid, or scared, or crazy? Or a racist, or a fool, or one of the 1%? Or all of the above?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Welcome Wagon

This being Winter, though it would be hard to tell by the temperature, (Global Warming is another one of those liberal conspiracies, right? Like evolution and contraception and oh so many others), naturally my thoughts turn to all of the wonderful visitors, the so-called Sno-birds, who are the only thing keeping Arizona's economy afloat while we wait patiently for the next real estate boom to save us.

They are guests here, and we love them dearly. But our ways may be foreign to them. Therefore, an Arizona Primer:

Yes, we really do keep electing a collection of ignorant, short-sighted, hillbilly buffoons and yet we expect different results. We do this because we are a very religious people and we have FAITH. And because of our faith we are able to ignore the fact that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is one of the definitions of insanity. Besides, having a state government that makes the 3 Stooges look like a graduate level seminar at MIT is kind of fun!

Governor Jan "Chuck Tell Me What To Do" Brewer may look like a triumph of the embalmer's art, but she is indeed a living, breathing Arizona Republican. People voted for her--even after they heard her speak. She is in charge of this state. This proves we are the polar opposite of "elitists" who believe they should elect "intelligent" people.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio is not a performance artist. It only seems like Andy Kaufman has been reincarnated and given a shiny badge. In fact, Arpaio is a duly elected law enforcement officer. He has official duties that extend far beyond holding press conferences, harassing his political opponents, "investigating" the President's birth certificate, and rousting dishwashers. Really.

Finally, forget about those speed limit signs on the freeways. They mean nothing. A cherished part of our Wild West heritage involves disregarding those laws we dislike. Very, very rarely you may see someone pulled over by the Highway Patrol. These people have done something so unimaginably awful that it couldn't be ignored. So keep it under 100 mph and you'll be OK. To be safe, the timid souls amongst you should just stay in the right hand lane and you probably won't get hurt. Better yet, keep off the freeways entirely.

Enjoy your stay, and spend, spend, spend!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Gee, for a guy who makes his living talking, poor Rush Limbaugh isn't very good with words. Oink.

Then again, his target audience of Angry White Males has a very limited vocabulary. Oink oink.

So he doesn't need much effort or skill to push their buttons. Oink oink oink.

The world is not a fair place, and in the end Limbaugh will probably survive. Sadly, there will always be an audience for his hate filled, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, rants. That is the country we live in. His pathetic, completely insincere, "apologies" will be cheered by his legion of idolatrous zombie-fans. And before you can smile and say "pass the oxycodone" he'll be back spewing his garbage.

But, in the meantime, it sure is fun watching him twist and squirm as things heat up. What's that smell? Mmm, bacon!

As Mrs. Franklin's Uncle Harry was once heard to say: "a bull's a bull." Harry was a farmer--not an intellectual. But he knew intrinsically that things always end up acting like what they are. "A bull's a bull."

And a pig is a pig.

And when a pig acts like a pig, honestly, how surprised should we be?

Monday, March 5, 2012