Credit Where Credit Is Due

Without Donald J. Trump we never would have known just how many racists, traitors, and out right imbeciles our great nation contained.

Now we know that there are millions, and millions, and MILLIONS, of them.

Without Donald J. Trump we never would have discovered that there is no bottom to how low the Republican Party is willing to go. Before Trump, the Insane Clown Posse was just a band's name. Now it's the name of an entire political party.

Without Donald J. Trump the true moral depravity, soul less greed, and general nihilism of Fox News and Rupert Murdoch would have just been a rumor, and Ingraham, Carlson and Hannity would have just been annoying idiots, running their mouths about everything to incite the rubes and enrich the Murdochs. Now, thanks to Donnie Boy, we know them to be nothing more or less than an ongoing threat to Democracy.

Without Donald J. Trump the number of Americans, AMERICANS, willing to sell our country out to Vladimir Putin would have remained unknown. Flynn, Stone, Manafort, Bannon, Ginni Thomas and their ilk are all traitors, and should, at the very least, spend the rest of their miserable lives in prison--along with all those Republicans awash in Russian money. (Although it seems to me that a firing squad would be a more efficient and effective deterrent.)

So, when anybody tries to tell you that Trump never accomplished anything positive for this country, just remind them of the above items.

The Republican Playbook

1. Get elected any way you can. 

Lie cheat steal. It's all good if it gets you elected. 

Take money from any corporation, billionaire, or foreign state that offers it. It all spends the same.

Blow that racist dog whistle. Blow hard! All of those people who say, "I'm not a racist, but..." will appreciate your efforts.

Make up shit about voter fraud. Smart people realize that it is so infrequent and so statistically insignificant that it can barely be measured. But our base isn't smart, so...knock yourself out!

To attract independents, make up some bullshit about inflation, or baby formula, or Afghanistan, or somebody's laptop. Is Benghazi still a thing? Please, please, please let it be!

Whatever deviance you practice, claim your opponent practices it first. 

Do whatever you can to keep people of color from voting. Same thing applies to young people of all ethnicities.

Remember, rampant hypocrisy is a feature--not a bug. 

2. Once in office:

Continue spreading all the garbage that got you elected. You now have a pulpit. Use it!

You have one job: and that is to help the richest people get richer. Know which side your bread is buttered on, for Christ's sake.

After all, poor people are a drag. They need things. You know, food, education, affordable housing, health care they can afford. And, on top of all of that, well, let's call it what it is, BEGGING, they don't have any money to help your campaign.

STOP anything that might be good for the majority of Americans. Sane gun control, universal health care, higher minimum wage, etc etc etc. Repeat after me, You Are Not There To Help The People Who Need It. That's socialism, after all.

And always remember this: We are all good Christians--and they're not.

Sadly, despite your best efforts, and all that Koch and NRA and foreign money, ultimately you may lose re-election. So make sure that you've fucked up so many things, so thoroughly, that the Democrat who replaces you will have a mountain of things to fix.

3. Then, and this is the really fun part, start complaining as often and as loudly as possible, that they haven't fixed everything fast enough.

Kompromat

 "Kompromat" is literally compromising material.

The Russian's (and the Mob, for that matter) are famous for collecting--and using--kompromat.

It may be of a sexual nature. 

It may be of a financial nature.

It may be of some other personal nature.

It is used to blackmail and extort.

At this point, it feels like almost the entire Republican Party is being blackmailed.

Why else would they have supported, and continue to support, a mobbed up tub of lard in debt to the Russians?

Why do they sometimes appear to be willing to say and do the right thing, only to suddenly change course 180 degrees?

Kompromat is the only logical answer.

The Russians and/or Trump must have serious "dirt" on all of them--especially the ones who openly grovel before Putin and his lapdog, Donnie.

The "Dumbest Person On Capitol Hill"

Madison Cawthorn was recently called the "dumbest person on Capitol Hill."

My first thought on hearing this was, "What? Did Louie Gohmert die?"

This is simply not fair. Sure, Madison Cawthorn is a fucking idiot. No arguments there.

But Louie Gohmert, who as far as I can tell is still alive, is in the Hall of Fame of Dumb. Cawthorn is a mere rookie compared to Louie.

He will need many years of stupidity to get anywhere near Louie's level.

I don't doubt that he will try, but there are no guarantees.

Besides, before he gets close to Gohmert's, uh, achievements, he needs to get past all of the other pretenders to the Great One's throne.

I'm looking at you Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert, Virginia Foxx, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz. 

(If this were a tag team affair, the last two would be a lock.)

And, try as we might, we can't forget Arizona's duo of stupid, Paul Gosar and Andy Biggs.

Let's not overlook the Senatorial competition, either. 

Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Chuck Grassley, all deserve consideration. There are countless others, too. All vying for the title.

And remember, while there can only be one "dumbest person on Capitol Hill", it's an honor just to be nominated.

Curiously, they all have that "R" next to their names. You know, "R" for Russia. Probably just a coincidence.

No Madison. You're an imbecile. No one is denying that. But you've got a long, long way to go to reach Gohmert level dumb.

We Don't Need The Republican Party Anymore, Do We?

No.

We don't. 

There are enough moderate Democrats who do a really good impression of the now extinct moderate Republicans.

Honestly, when was the last time a Republican did anything to benefit the majority of Americans? 40 years ago? 50? 

Sure, they can wave the Bible around and wrap themselves in the flag...but actually govern? Not so much.

No. They are a fringe party now. Out in the weeds, with nothing to offer except racism, sexism, xenophobia, dead end thinking, and, of course, tax cuts for the rich.

They've spent the last 5 years cheerleading for a traitor. A traitor who is also a crook and a creep and an idiot.

A traitor whose army of zombies stormed the Capitol with blood in their eyes and murderous intent. 

A murderous intent that was aimed at a few Republicans as well as all Democrats.

And they have the nerve to claim it never happened, at least not like that. Those cretins waving Confederate flags, attacking cops, and smearing shit all over the place were "peaceful visitors" "patriots concerned for 'their' country."

Uh huh.

I mean, who are you going to believe? The Republicans or your lying eyes? 

So what happened to the Party of Law and Order? 

Washed away in a flood of Q-Anon nonsense, Russian disinformation, Libertarian twaddle, racist dog whistles, and corporate cash.

Now and forever, G.O.P. stands for Goons On Parade.

They deserve nothing but contempt.

Uh....Thanks?

It should be obvious by now to everyone, including his immediate family, that Louie Gohmert is a moron.

Everything he says, everything he does, confirms this. I can only imagine what kind of shit hole, to use the Flaming Orange Anuses' preferred term, he represents. 

What kind of "people", and I use that word in its broadest sense, keep sending this "person", and again I use that word in its broadest sense, to Congress?

As David Susskind used to say, "the mind boggles".

However, as unbelievable as it may seem, Louie now has competition--stiff competition--for the title of Worst Congress person.

My own sad state has thrown up some hardy challengers. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, David Schweikart, and Debbie Lesko are all in the running. 

Biggs and Gosar probably couldn't spell sedition without help, and yet they both committed it. 

Schweikart's own family campaigned against him. Must make Thanksgiving fun.

And Lesko is just another female, empty pant suit, Republican. The lights aren't on, and, yep, no one is home.

Hell of a team the GOP has assembled in Arizona. Individually they are #Sad. But as a group they are stunning. Is this a great country, or what?

We sentient Arizonans would be overcome with shame at the prospect of someone from our state toppling Louie from his perch atop the garbage heap that is the Republican House caucus...if it weren't for two late entries:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert!

Two Q-anon embracing, Trump loving, pistol packing Mamas who never met a ridiculous idea they didn't heartily embrace. In a well ordered society they would both be disarmed and placed in padded rooms somewhere quiet. In the good ol USA they are both armed, and, at least for the time being, in Congress.

I would say that they're brain dead, but you have to have had a functioning brain at some point to be declared brain dead, so...

Still, we must enjoy our victories, however small they might be. 

Therefore, on behalf of the Arizonans who still have a sense of shame, I say to Lauren and Marjorie,

Uh....thanks?

Today's Chuckle

I don't know about you, but the funniest thing I've heard recently is the rampant speculation about "what will Trump do next?"

Will he run in 2024? Will Jesus finally come back and be his running mate?

Will Don Jr. run?

Will Ivanka run?

Will he start his own media company?

Will he become the King Maker of the Republican party? 

These are all nonsensical.

Donald J. Trump will spend the rest of his miserable life either in court, in jail, and/or in bankruptcy.

And his three adult children, plus the boy wonder son-in-law, Jared, will spend much of their miserable lives doing the same.

It was "fun" while it lasted, but the gig, as they say, is up.

Their only options are to stay here and face the music, praying for an incompetent prosecutor, a senile judge, and a compromised jury full of MAGAts, or flee the country to somewhere without an extradition treaty.

Run in 2024? 

Don't make me laugh.

The Accomplishments Of Donald J. Trump

There follows an incomplete list of the major accomplishments of Donald J. Trump, soon to be a former President of the United States:

He made George W. Bush seem almost competent. At one point, I would have thought that that was impossible, but...we are forced from here on out to compare all Presidents, past and future to Trump. So, even though W. was by any fair accounting a fucking disaster, once you apply the Trump comparison meter, he was, well, still a fucking disaster--but not nearly as catastrophic a fucking disaster as Donald J. Trump. Because, for all of his faults, George W. Bush was not a racist, criminal, traitor. A combination that will henceforth be known as The Full Trump. 

At this point, all of our awful, crappy Presidents, move down one on the list of awful, crappy Presidents. Donald J. Trump is numbah 1, now and, if our luck holds, forever.

It's not all bad for Trump, though. After all, he ended the political career of Jeb "Please Clap" Bush. The "smart one" just didn't have the stones to defeat the "corrupt one". So we will have to wait another generation for a Bush to rise up and darken the land. Credit where credit is due to El Trumpo the Conqueror. 

He exposed the Republican Party for what it has been since 1968 at least: a collection of racists, hiding behind code words like "states' rights", "law and order", and "welfare queens". A party whose sole legislative purpose is to redistribute wealth upward while maintaining a permanent under class, all while appealing to the worst impulses of its base. How they got from the Party of Lincoln to this in a little over 100 years is a truly amazing achievement. 

He set an unbreakable record for lies. 25,000 of them as of today. Sure, all Presidents lie. But Jesus Christ, there's a difference between a dribble and a tsunami. Nixon and Reagan, previously thought of as the gold standard, were rank amateur liars compared to Donald J. Trump. He lies incessantly, he lies without a shred of conscience, he lies about everything and anything. He lies about things that there is no good reason to lie about. Obviously, he cannot help himself. With this amazing, unmatched, ability he really should have gone into religion instead of business. There's always a place for that level of mendacity in the Houses of the Lord. He already has the hair and the makeup, and if he can avoid prison (and that's a very big "if" hahaha) he could segue right into televangelism.

He helped to kill 265,000 Americans--and counting. And that's a lot. But at least he avoided a CoVid "panic". Right? On the plus side of the ledger, some of those were (and will be) his own supporters. When you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

I wonder, right before they intubate a MAGAt, do they ask "tired of winning yet?"

By necessity, this must remain an incomplete list. No doubt the Biden Justice Department will add many entries. 

In the meantime, he has a few more weeks to work his "magic".

Random Thoughts On A Ridiculously Hot Day

Since "Global Warming" is just another of those Chinese hoaxes that are so popular with our fearless leader, this string of 110 degree plus days that we're living through in Phoenix must just be another socialist plot--right?

Anyway, the extreme heat makes things a little crazy, and our thoughts turn to...

If you have enough money to start your own space program, you have too much money.

Maybe this, and by "this" I mean the Trump Abomination, will stop, once and for all, that "run government like a business...we need a businessman in charge" nonsense. Maybe. 

We should never underestimate the ability of the Republican Party to repackage the same old horse shit in a shiny new box.

It's very, very, very hard to get to excited about major league baseball when it's played under these conditions. Basketball seems to have pulled off its restart with a modicum of verisimilitude, but all those tens of thousands of empty seats in the baseball stadiums, dotted with the occasional CGI fans, are just sad. Maybe they should just cut and paste the front cover of the Sgt. Pepper's album everywhere? That would be fun, at least for awhile. Plus, I'm pretty sure that they're using a juiced ball again...

Is every Republican in Congress either a twink or a female impersonator?

There is no point in trying to convince any remaining die hard Trump supporters about the error in their ways. Don't waste your time or your breath. If, after all of the damage that "man" and his Republican enablers have done to this country over the last few years, they still follow him blindly over whatever cliff he's headed toward, they are past redemption. Just like those Germans in the Spring of 1945 who were convinced that the Big Guy would turn it around any day now, they are True Believers and they will go to their graves believing the Big Lie(s).

Always remember, "Greater love hath no man" than that he would leave his brother's death bed to get in a quick 18 holes.

We will get through this madness, somehow, but what we will look like on the other side is at this point unknowable.

What Did You Expect?

So Bill Barr's Department of Justice is dropping all charges against Michael Flynn...

Is anyone surprised by this?

If you are, you need to remember one thing: Bill Barr has always been a Republican hack.

And if the truth is ever allowed to come out about Flynn, and Manafort, and Stone, and McConnell, and the Trump family and their Russian buddies, that would be the end of the Republican Party.

Bill Barr has fought his entire adult life to protect the simmering cesspool that is the modern Republican Party.

That, and a brutally medieval interpretation of Catholicism, are the foundation of what passes for his belief system.

Deep down, Barr is probably as repelled by Trump as anyone else with a semi-sentient brain. But that's not the point.

The point is that his party is imperiled, and he will do anything, tell any lie, break any law, shit on the Constitution, to preserve it.

And Now, A Few Words About Evil...

There is a misconception about evil.

Some people believe that there is a Devil, who causes us to do bad things. "The Devil made me do it", in the immortal words of Flip Wilson.

And some people believe in vampires, and goblins, and zombies, too. Oh, and let's not forget whatever malevolent supernatural forces that Stephen King can dream up.

But the truth is that evil comes directly from men.

(And a few women as well)

Though evil comes in all colors, for our intents and purposes, we will focus on the evil that white men do--since white men are the primary force in the United States.

And, Jesus, there's just so much to choose from!

Men in nice suits, carrying expensive brief cases, working diligently to move the nation's wealth ever upward into the already bursting pockets of the .1% 

Or men in pickup trucks with Confederate flags pasted all over them.

And clean cut boys with rosy cheeks and dead eyes, carrying swastika flags, marching and screaming their way through an otherwise pleasant evening.

Right now, we have an extremely evil man in the White House. The kind of fellow who would gladly sell his soul to the highest bidder--if only he had a soul.

So, lacking a soul, he instead sells his country--my country--your country--to whomever offers the most.

He surrounds himself with evil. In fact, evil is drawn to him, like hungry flies to a huge pile of shit. The Barrs, Stones, Limbaughs, Hannitys, Flynns, Cohens, Millers, McConnells, and Grahams of the world recognize a kindred spirit.

And, knowing his place in the true order of things, he bows down to even greater evil whenever he encounters it. "Yes Vladimir. Whatever you say, Vladimir."

Thankfully, he's essentially a fucking incompetent, imbecilic, morbidly obese, grifter.

If he were evil and smart, imagine the damage he could do...

But, because he's a buffoon, there might still be time to save the Republic.

No God. No Devil. No Heaven. No Hell. Just us.

Where Are We Now, Where Are We Now?

As we wander, timidly I suppose, into a brand new, shiny year, we must pause, take a deep breath, and ask ourselves, "where are we now?"

Robert Mueller, who is so very much smarter than anyone attacking him, is apparently reaching the end of his investigations. Plural.

And the House, now controlled by the Democrats, is set to launch its own investigations. Plural.

So, what can we expect them to yield?

That the current resident of the White House is a traitor is obvious. That he is a willing puppet of Vladimir Putin (and the Saudis, too, for that matter), is a given. Why? $$$$$$. That he has surrounded himself with a collection of crooks, liars, racists, fools, and traitors is also obvious. This collection includes his three oldest children. But we knew that already.

What else might Mueller and the Democrats expose?

I suspect that there may not be much left of the Republican Party or the NRA when all is said and done.

And that's where it gets tricky.

We only have the two parties, really. The Libertarians are a clown car full of Ayn Rand worshiping punks. And the Greens are simply nothing. They contribute only background noise.

But now, one of our two major parties is on the verge of being revealed for all to see as so totally corrupted by money that they have openly betrayed our country--just to win an election.

This will not go over to well with the folks who call themselves conservatives. And not just the MAGAts. There are many millions of people who still identify as proud Republicans.

How will they react?

We know the MAGAts don't believe in facts, so they'll undoubtedly deny everything, scream "fake news" and rally around the Great Orange Pustule. However, they are just a loud, obnoxious, idiotic minority.

But what about the majority of the Republican Party?

That will be the central question of 2019.

Profiles In, Uh, Whatever

Jeff Flake, who desperately wants to be a "hero", but doesn't really have the stones for that sort of thing, and thinks he has some sort of future in Presidential politics (normally I'd say 'insert raucous laughter here', but Jesus Christ, look at what's in the White House now!), will occasionally "pretend" to be opposing Republican Party policies in some "brave" way and for some "noble" reason.

So it is with his Brett Kavanaugh posturing.

Do not be fooled.

Jeff Flake is just another Republican hack, trying to act like a "patriot" while stuffing his pockets with as much corporate money as he can, and voting with the Traitor in Chief almost ALL OF THE TIME.

Does Arizona grow any other kind of Republicans?

No. It does not.

Does America grow any other kind of Republicans?

No. Not anymore.

Today's Post Is Brought To You By The Letter "R"

R is for RATS

R is for RUSSIA

R is for ROTTEN

R is for RACISTS

R is for REPELLENT

R is for REPREHENSIBLE

R is for REPUBLICAN

Have a nice Labor Day weekend!

Another Modest Proposal

Since we all believe in "law and order", I offer up this simple solution to a growing problem:

If you are guilty of treason against the United States, you will be put to death...on national television.

Just imagine the ratings!

None of this lengthy jail sentence nonsense.

No.

Hang 'em or shoot 'em.

Let the traitors choose which way they'd like to be removed from this life. Rope or gun.

But they have to go, as a warning to anyone who might consider committing treason in the future.
And, of course, all of their assets will revert to the Treasury.

Now, it looks like this will open up a lot of seats in Congress, in a several state houses, some law firms, and a handful of high paying media jobs as well.

Fox News will be especially hard hit. 

And that's a good thing.

New blood. Fresh ideas.

No traitors.

Donald J. Trump Is A Traitor

There really is no other explanation for his behavior.

He is scared to death of Vladimir Putin--probably for a variety of reasons. And as a result of this, he will do anything to make Putin happy--anything--ignoring whether or not it is counter to the interests of the United States and our allies.

If that isn't the definition of a traitor, it will do for now.

I'm old enough to remember when the Republican Party routinely smeared the Democrats as being weak on Communism, "fellow travelers" if you will.

Now, however, we find that almost the entire Republican Party and their soul mates at the NRA are in the bag for the Russians. Bought and paid for by Putin and his friends' money.

#SAD.

One important thing you need to understand about Donald J. Trump is that he is a pathological liar.

He cannot string more than two sentences together without lying about something.

He has surrounded himself with the kind of people who would steal the dimes off a dead man's eyes, because, well, he doesn't need them anymore.

Most of them are pathological liars, too. Birds of a feather, etc.

So, mix being a pathological liar with breathtaking narcissism, a seemingly uncontrollable sex drive, and throw in a desperate need for large amounts of money to maintain the illusion that you're successful, and one Donald J. Trump becomes a perfect target for an old KGB agent to turn. 

A useful idiot, to use a phrase popular with another Vladimir, Lenin.

A Russian stooge in the White House. Doing his boss's bidding.

Undermine NATO? Check.

Go out of your way to slight and demean our long time allies? Check.

Ignore warnings from all of our intelligence agencies, and consistently question the integrity of the FBI? Check.

Try to break up the EU? Check.

Turn a blind eye to Russian meddling in our, and other's, elections, past and future? Check.

Weaken sanctions against Putin's happy band of oligarch gangsters? Well, give him time...he's trying his hardest.

But do not hold your breath waiting for all of those "patriots" in the Republican Party to do something about it.

Because, quite clearly, they are traitors, too.

Maggots

When it gets hot in Phoenix, and it often gets hot in Phoenix, if you have pets that you feed outside--or in a garage, you will get maggots.

Try as you might, just a little bit of uneaten pet food will attract flies...

And the flies will inevitably leave you with maggots.

Smash 'em, spray 'em, whatever you do, there will still be a few of the squirmy little bastards that survive.

Come to think of it, this is a shockingly apt metaphor for the Trump Administration.

One maggot, Scott Pruitt, is gone. But have no fear, he will be replaced by another maggot.

With Donald J. Trump in charge, there is always another maggot in the wings.

One Thing You Can't Hide Is When You're Crippled Inside

Look, I've never cared for John McCain.

I grew tired of the "I was a P.O.W." card very early on in the game.

More importantly, most of his positions are directly opposite of everything I believe.

First as a Congressman and then as a Senator he has done next to nothing for the people of Arizona. You can look it up.

He would have been a bad President. Not as bad as W.  And no one will ever be as bad as that lump of orange fecal matter currently occupying the White House. But still, just the idea of Sarah Palin being a heartbeat away, as they say, should have given anyone with a functioning brain nightmares.

Now, it looks like the "Maverick" is on his way out. Like the song says, "everything dies and that's a fact". When he does, he will be given full military honors, which he certainly deserves. He does not deserve to be mocked by that festering gang of morally crippled, ethical pygmies that takes its marching orders from Donald J. Trump.

And there is a pretty good chance that whatever replaces him will be worse. This is Arizona we're talking about, after all.

However, one thing is beyond dispute. John McCain has never been a traitor.

Donald J. Trump, and anyone associated with the criminal enterprise that he calls his administration, can't honestly say that.

Mass Murder Is As American As Apple Pie

Not much to add to the title.

17 dead? Ho hum.

Most of them children? Ho hum.

This is how we live now.

The NRA has the Republican party (and a handful of useful idiots from the Democrats, too) in their pockets.

And the NRA exists primarily to sell guns.

Forget that bullshit about safety and training and hunting and Constitutional rights and all the other bullshit that that PIG Wayne LaPierre spews.

The NRA exists to scare people into buying as many guns as they can.

So no, this isn't primarily a "mental health" issue.*

This is a $$$$$ issue. The NRA pays $$$$$ to their bought and sold Congressmen/women to keep the vast majority of Americans unsafe.

Ho hum.  17 dead? Price of freedom, my friend. Price of freedom. Just another day in our "Armed Madhouse."

*If we can get believing in white supremacy, racism, and fervid gun worship officially declared mental illnesses, then and only then, can we call this a mental health issue.

Complete Indifference To The Suffering Of Others

Big day if you're a billionaire, or at least a multi-millionaire!

All of those donations to the Republican toady of your choice finally paid off!

The long nightmare that the poor Koch brothers, and the Mercers, and the Ricketts, and all the rest of the country's owners have been living through is, at last, over. Little Barron Trump's future is secure!

Happy days are here again!

Your Republican Congress has come through for you!

And all it took was taking healthcare away from a few tens of millions of your fellow citizens. Oh, and don't forget stripping whatever is left of the safety net. And the deduction for your mortgage interest, too.

It's funny how all of these things don't matter much to the very rich...and poof, just like that, they're gone!

Maybe funny is the wrong word.

Pretty soon Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid will have to be "dealt" with, because, you know, deficits!

After all, defense contractors don't work for free! And bombers and aircraft carriers and nuclear bombs don't grow on trees. So we will need to tighten our belts a bit to be able to afford these absolute necessities. You can't have everything.

It would be wrong for you to have health insurance and access to welfare and food stamps if you need them, and that little government check every month to ease your retirement, when that money could just as easily buy a third or fourth home, or a new jet for some deserving oligarch.

So some of the entitlements that the lazy takers rely on will have to be restructured.

You see, the only unforgivable crime in the good ol USA is to be poor. Too poor to contribute to Republican politicians. So what do you expect? Fairness? A sense of community and a common cause? Justice? Hahaha. Ask a person of color about fairness and justice in the good ol USA...Looks like you're in the same boat now, baby!

To be fair, the Republicans always offer prayers and condolences when there's a national tragedy. Let's see if that holds true for self-inflicted ones.

Maybe they'll pray for you!