You know, looking back, my favorite time on the family farm was when we rounded up all the "difficult" animals, put them in a ditch, and shot them. Good times!
Puppies, goats, whatever. Bang Bang Bang! I can still hear the screams, and it makes me feel...I don't know...wistfully nostalgic.
Because animals need to know that there are rules and these rules must be obeyed.
And there are consequences when they are not obeyed.
Sure, puppies can be boisterous. They can be hard to train. On our farm--on any real farm--there's just one way to deal with an uppity pup. Fuck 'em! Bang Bang Bang!
And don't even get me started about goats. I mean, why do we even have goats? You ever tried to train a goat?
Nope. In farm life you get one chance to do things correctly, and if you don't...BANG!
Incidentally, we used to do the same with our seasonal labor--when we were done with them, of course. It's much easier that way. No paperwork to fill out. No Big Government meddling. No complaints about working conditions or being underpaid. Just BANG!
You simply can't have chaos on the family farm. What if Kim Jong Un drops by? Or some other dictator you're trying to impress? No, you need to show strength. You need to show resolve. You need to show who's the boss.
BANG!
I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it.
