The Easiest Cure For Traitors And/Or Treason

So I'm watching The Guns of Navarone the other night.

Pretty good action flick. Solid performances from everyone--with Anthony Quinn especially good. Should probably be remade with modern special effects...

Anyway, at one point in the film, one of the team is found to be a traitor. 

Their treason has endangered the mission and all the other members of the team.

Of course, the traitor has their reasons. 

Traitors always have their reasons.

In the film a short discussion regarding the traitor is followed swiftly by execution.

That's it. 

That's all.

No appeal. 

No Fox News counter argument to obfuscate everything.

No Republican "what about?" bullshit. 

You are a traitor.

This is your punishment.

I guarantee if we put a few of our traitors up against a wall, this sort of shit would never happen again.

The "Dumbest Person On Capitol Hill"

Madison Cawthorn was recently called the "dumbest person on Capitol Hill."

My first thought on hearing this was, "What? Did Louie Gohmert die?"

This is simply not fair. Sure, Madison Cawthorn is a fucking idiot. No arguments there.

But Louie Gohmert, who as far as I can tell is still alive, is in the Hall of Fame of Dumb. Cawthorn is a mere rookie compared to Louie.

He will need many years of stupidity to get anywhere near Louie's level.

I don't doubt that he will try, but there are no guarantees.

Besides, before he gets close to Gohmert's, uh, achievements, he needs to get past all of the other pretenders to the Great One's throne.

I'm looking at you Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert, Virginia Foxx, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz. 

(If this were a tag team affair, the last two would be a lock.)

And, try as we might, we can't forget Arizona's duo of stupid, Paul Gosar and Andy Biggs.

Let's not overlook the Senatorial competition, either. 

Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Chuck Grassley, all deserve consideration. There are countless others, too. All vying for the title.

And remember, while there can only be one "dumbest person on Capitol Hill", it's an honor just to be nominated.

Curiously, they all have that "R" next to their names. You know, "R" for Russia. Probably just a coincidence.

No Madison. You're an imbecile. No one is denying that. But you've got a long, long way to go to reach Gohmert level dumb.

Uh....Thanks?

It should be obvious by now to everyone, including his immediate family, that Louie Gohmert is a moron.

Everything he says, everything he does, confirms this. I can only imagine what kind of shit hole, to use the Flaming Orange Anuses' preferred term, he represents. 

What kind of "people", and I use that word in its broadest sense, keep sending this "person", and again I use that word in its broadest sense, to Congress?

As David Susskind used to say, "the mind boggles".

However, as unbelievable as it may seem, Louie now has competition--stiff competition--for the title of Worst Congress person.

My own sad state has thrown up some hardy challengers. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, David Schweikart, and Debbie Lesko are all in the running. 

Biggs and Gosar probably couldn't spell sedition without help, and yet they both committed it. 

Schweikart's own family campaigned against him. Must make Thanksgiving fun.

And Lesko is just another female, empty pant suit, Republican. The lights aren't on, and, yep, no one is home.

Hell of a team the GOP has assembled in Arizona. Individually they are #Sad. But as a group they are stunning. Is this a great country, or what?

We sentient Arizonans would be overcome with shame at the prospect of someone from our state toppling Louie from his perch atop the garbage heap that is the Republican House caucus...if it weren't for two late entries:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert!

Two Q-anon embracing, Trump loving, pistol packing Mamas who never met a ridiculous idea they didn't heartily embrace. In a well ordered society they would both be disarmed and placed in padded rooms somewhere quiet. In the good ol USA they are both armed, and, at least for the time being, in Congress.

I would say that they're brain dead, but you have to have had a functioning brain at some point to be declared brain dead, so...

Still, we must enjoy our victories, however small they might be. 

Therefore, on behalf of the Arizonans who still have a sense of shame, I say to Lauren and Marjorie,

Uh....thanks?

Arizonan Of The Year

And here I thought Texas's Louie Gohmert was hands down the biggest ass hat, ignorant, peckerwood, dipshit, ever elected anywhere.

Au contraire.

As reported in the Phoenix New Times, Arizona Republican State House Rep. David Stringer was recently captured on audio calling non-native English speaking students a “burden,” saying black people “don’t blend in” and lamenting a supposed “white flight” in more diverse areas of the country.

After a lecture (!?!) at Arizona State University, Stringer told a student that “diversity in our country is relatively new." When challenged on this by the student, who mentioned the Italians and Irish,  Stringer replied “They were all European...So after their second or third generation, everybody looks the same. Everybody talks the same. That’s not the case with African-Americans and other racial groups because they don’t melt in. They don’t blend in. They always look different.”

When asked whether that should matter, Stringer hemmed and hawed, saying “maybe it doesn’t” but that “it seems to matter to a lot of people.”

Uh huh. It matters to a lot of bigoted, ass hat, peckerwood, dipshits.

You know, like David Stringer and the people who support him.

Your move, Gohmert. Your title is being challenged. Time to step up the stupid.

Yep, Trent Franks Is Still An Idiot

Trent Franks (sigh) is a Republican United States Congressman from my state (sigh) Arizona.

He is demonstrably an idiot, but that has never stopped, that will never stop the good, God (and everything else) fearing, abortion hating, members of his benighted district. The district includes one of those anti-septic enclaves full of old, retired, reactionary fuckers built by Del "Why yes, I did make a lot of money building casinos for the Mob. What are you inferring?" Webb. When Pete Townshend wrote "hope I die before I get old" these were exactly the kind of old people he was afraid of becoming...but I digress.

The fact that Trent is a couple of chromosomes shy of a full load is apparent to anyone who has ever seen a picture of Trent. I don't know what you call them now, but my grandmother used to call them mongoloids.

But no matter. Like Louie "Yes, I really am this stupid" Gohmert, who is his equal as an intellect and statesman, Franks is in the US Congress and you aren't. So there, loser!

Trent's latest, uh, faux pas, which is French for "every time Trent Franks opens his mouth", is his urgent warning that terrorists will smuggle atomic bombs in bales of marijuana.

Let that sink in for a minute and get back to me...

PS Remember the "you lie!" guy? Well, I've got 5 grand for the first member of Congress who yells "traitor" while the Liar in Chief is spewing. Consider it a contribution to their 2018 campaign.

Pestilence

The other day, The Rude Pundit compared Dick "The Dark Lord" Cheney to a cockroach.

As far as I'm concerned, that's an insult to cockroaches everywhere.

They ought to sue for defamation.

Of course, that's just my opinion. And enough about me.

Today's topic is "what kind of political party doesn't have the moral character to denounce a cockroach?"

Honestly, Dick Cheney has been wrong about everything during his entire political career.

At this point, he is nothing more or less than a war criminal. A frightening, frothing, clown, dripping with the blood of innocents.

And yet, whatever ridiculous nonsense he continues to spout, with or without his equally disgusting daughter at his side, not one of the current (or past) Republican presidential candidates has the balls to laugh at him. Indeed, many of them continue to respect and admire him and his "opinions".

Fuck him. Fuck his opinions.

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. The GOP is, after all, the home of Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, Mike Huckabee, Steve King, Trent Franks, Tom Cotton, Ted Cruz, "You Lie!", death panels, "Hell of a job, Brownie", birthers, etc etc etc.

It really isn't a political party anymore.

It's an open air insane asylum, run by its inmates, and funded by a handful of billionaires.

Looney Tunes

It is said that the philosopher Wittgenstein enjoyed the fractured logic of cartoons.

Boy, would he have gotten a kick out of the Republican Tea Party!

Simply put, when you elect people who do not believe in government to govern you...well, what would you expect to happen?

Do fact adverse xenophobes living in their own alternative universe have empathy, let alone sympathy, for anyone else? Hell no!

Do people anxiously awaiting the Rapture care about the environment? Hell no!

Do people who swear by the Book of Revelations and can't wait for the "end times" to begin care about peace and justice in the Middle East? Hell no!

Do nihilists plan for the future? Hell no!

Do fools, knaves and grifters in the pockets of billionaires care about anything but their next payoff? Hell no!

Bugs, Daffy, Porky and Elmer, had nothing on Ted, Louie, Sarah and Rand.

A Bit Of Harmless Fun

We all sit, with bated breath, waiting for the Great Syria Debate.

The nation's best minds, seated in our hallowed Congress and representing all reasonable points of view, will, with the highest intellectual rigor and the wisdom that is our country's birth right....

And blah blah blah.

Louie Gohmert is a member of the United States Congress. So is Trent Franks. So are Steve King, Darrell Issa, Ted Cruz, Dana Rohrabacher...oh, the list goes on and on. Inhofe, Flake, Paul, McConnell, Graham, and Sessions. Quite the brain trust, ain't it?

The Congressional debate over Syria will make monkeys throwing their feces at each other look like Masterpiece Theatre.

Some of these morons will still not admit that the President is a native born US citizen. They're just not sure...

Or perhaps they are sure, but they know they have to act like idiots to appease their idiotic base. I don't know which is worse: to be an idiot or to just act like one because you're afraid.

Our Congress is full of bought and paid for "climate change" deniers, evolution deniers, healthcare crisis deniers, gun nuts, racists, homophobes, misogynists, Ayn Rand quoting dweebs and hopheads chanting "USA USA!" as they stuff the Koch brothers' money into their pockets.

Expecting them to do anything in a sane and timely fashion is asking way too much...it would require them to put aside their personal passions and pettiness and act like statesmen. And that's not going to happen.

Anyway, the truth is that there is no good solution to what is happening in Syria. It is a civil war between a murderous despot, who is supported and supplied by Russia, China and Iran, versus a collection of armed sects. And trust me, the Russians and Chinese really don't care who Assad gasses. Because they both reserve the right to brutalize their own citizens as needed and by whatever means necessary. Besides, this gives them all a chance to screw with the good ol' USA.

Based on our lies about Iraq, why would the other member states of the UN trust us now? Even our British friends are tired of war. And if by chance Assad could be removed, who would replace him? There is no fertile ground for democracy to take root. Modern Syria is, like most of the Arab states in the Middle East, an artificial construct, left behind from the remains of the Ottoman Empire after the first World War. Cobbled together by the British and French out of tribes that have been killing each other for a thousand years, since the original schism in the Muslim world. And apparently you can now throw al-Qaeda into that mix. What kind of coalition government would that toxic brew yield? And for how long?

I have no doubt that there are many peace loving, innocent Syrians who want to live in the 21st Century and not the Middle Ages. After all, most people everywhere just want to get along with their lives, watch their children grow, and age as gracefully as possible. Unfortunately, in Syria they have no power, nor any say in what happens to themselves or their state. Personally, I would pack all I could and head for the nearest border.

I'm afraid the slaughter of the innocents will continue for the foreseeable future, until all innocence is lost.