Thursday, January 26, 2017


In case you were hoping that Senator John "Maverick" McCain would be man enough to stand up to the Liar In Chief...

Oh, he'll glower and shout and threaten and get a lot of media attention. That is, after all, what he does. All he does. But when it comes right down to it, he will fold.

Because the senior Senator from the state of Arizona is spineless.

Remember way back in 2000 when the Bush campaign slandered him in South Carolina?

What'd he do?

Well, fell in line, of course!


When the Bushies Swift Boated John Kerry, an actual bona fide hero, in 2004?

After some initial grumbling, our professional POW blamed Kerry for bringing the attacks on himself.


Now we have someone in the White House who shit all over Johnny Mac's war record. Loudly and publicly. Someone who is so close to being a traitor that you can smell it on him. Someone who worships Vladimir Putin like an abused whore worships her pimp.

Someone who has nominated another Putin boy toy to be Secretary of State.

So, what does Senator John McCain do?

Well, he's going to vote "yes" for Rex Tillerson, of course!

Like I said.


The leader of his party is a serial liar. A Russian stooge. A sexist, xenophobic, immature, unstable punk. A fan of torture.

But don't expect Senator John McCain to challenge much of what he does.

Party loyalty always comes first when you're spineless.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Welcome To The World Of "Alternative Facts"

Being able to lie with a straight face is a skill.

Maybe even an art form.

Frankly, Kellyanne Conway should be better at it by now.

After all, she's been at the feet of a master for months.

Of course, none of this will matter to the Trump "true" believers.

By this point, they are well beyond redemption. They have sold what passes for their souls for a few magic beans and a boatload of empty promises.

But it should matter a great deal to the majority of Americans--who did not vote for Trump and do not support him.

Friday, January 20, 2017

More Fake News: Headlines Edition

Donald Trump is an honest man.

Donald Trump won the election fair and square.

Donald Trump isn't a Russian stooge.

Donald Trump has a big brain.

Donald Trump tells the truth.

Donald Trump isn't being blackmailed by Vladimir Putin.

Donald Trump is a successful businessman.

Donald Trump cares about people.

Donald Trump knows what he's doing.

Donald Trump isn't a racist.

Donald Trump is a product of superior genetics.

Donald Trump will make a great President.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Other Names For The Trump, Uh, Illegitimacy

Don't know about you, but calling him Mr. President just doesn't sit well with me.

So, we will need to come up with synonyms.

I really do prefer Flaming Orange Anus, but I realize that some folks have delicate sensibilities, or perhaps a fondness for anuses, and so there must be other options:

Putin's Punk

Russia's Stooge

His Multiple Bankruptness

The Gold Plated Fraud

Mr. Almost Three Million Votes Less Than Hillary

Shit Fer Brains

The Royal Combover

Ass Trump-ette

King Of The Know Nothings

Mr. Bought And Paid For

Captain Oblivious


Tax Fraud In Chief

The Midnight Tweeter

Behold, A Conflict Of Interest Made Flesh

Mr. Makes George W. Bush Look Like Lincoln

Admiral Of The Fleeced

Hitler Lite

A Yooge Fucking Mistake That Might Get Us All Killed

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Ethics? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ethics!

If I tell you I'm honest, shouldn't that be enough?

After all,  Mr. Trump wouldn't have nominated me for [fill in the blank] if I wasn't an honest, upright, outstanding citizen. Rich, too.

Gentlemen know to simply trust other gentlemen. Especially wealthy white ones.

So...let's stop all this silly talk about ethics, ok?

It'$ in$ulting to we who are $acrificing our own per$onal ambition$ to $erve our beloved country.

In fact, you ought to be ashamed to even bring it up in our presence...

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Flaming Orange Anus* Attacks Washington DC!

This ain't no science fiction, baby!

This ain't no fake news, either.

This is where you live now.

We are through the looking glass, black is white, up is down, and time is broke and no proportion kept.

Prepare to say goodbye to every piece of progressive legislation from Teddy Roosevelt to Barack Obama.

Bye Bye!

Civil rights, worker's rights, women's rights, gay rights?

Bye Bye!

Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security?

Bye Bye!

Environmental protections, clean air and water, maybe even the national parks?

Bye Bye!

Thanks to Republican voter suppression (big shout out to the Supreme Court for gutting the Voting Rights Act!), James Comey, and, of course, the keyboard stylings of Vladimir "Real Man" Putin, this is our future.

*Just in case you were wondering, Flaming Orange Anus is a perfectly apt description of Donald J.Trump.

Because all that comes out of him is noxious gas and shit.


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

His Problems Are Now Our Problems. All Of Them.

Let's start with something simple: that blue suit that he's been wearing since last summer--seemingly without having it cleaned or pressed.

Guy who purports to be soooooo RICH and he can't afford a suit that fits better? Sure.

Just because you're a bloated, flabby, gaseous toad doesn't mean you can't find a good tailor.

Billionaires don't generally dress like door to door toupee salesmen. Real billionaires, that is. Even those creepy Silicon Valley libertarian twats can pull together a respectable look.

While we're talking about The Orange One's Wealth, how many other "billionaires" can you think of who plaster their name on nickel and dime items? Steaks? Neckties from China? Christmas ornaments? New Year's Eve parties? Really?

And how come no major American banks will lend to him? Cuz he's such a "successful" negotiator?

All those foreign "lenders" that Big Boy has had to rely on to stay afloat--Deutsche Bank, the Chinese, Russian Mafia, whatever--will want something in return for their silence about Der Trumps' real financial situation.

To say the least, it will be very strange to have a President in hock to so many foreigners.

Now that the entrepreneurial triumph known as Trump University has been sent to history's ash bin, what about all those other lawsuits, 30 or so, wasn't it, that he still needs to deal with?  Probably all groundless, nuisance suits, huh?

Then there's his attention span, or rather his attention deficit disorder.

There might be, and admittedly I'm guessing here, but there might be a few issues that come up that require more than a ungrammatical, misspelled tweet to deal with. (You'd think someone with such a big, good brain would be better at something tweens master in a morning.)


Finally, when Big Boy dies--sooner rather than later, one hopes--who's getting stuck with all that debt he's so proudly accumulated?  I'm guessing Tiffany.