A Fool And His Money...

...is the raison d'etre of the modern Republican Tea Party.

See, like any snake oil salesman or carny barker worth his salt knows, you can tell fools anything.

Anything!

And there's a very good chance that they will believe you, AND give you some money.

Deep Stupid is a beautiful thing.

Ask Wayne LaPierre. Ask Ted Cruz. Ask Mike Huckabee. Ask...

Ask any Republican.

Ask any televangelist.

Some very, very wealthy people have already pissed away over $200 million on failed 2016 Republican presidential candidates.

Rubio, Walker, Fiorina, Perry, Bush, Carson, Paul--a real Murderer's Row of Incompetence.

Think about that. All that dough and nothing to show for it.

And yet, they keep on giving...why?

Well, the one thing all these losers have in common is that they promised not to raise taxes on the donor class.

Come hell or high water our cherished billionaires will not have to pay a penny more. Let the country's infrastructure fall apart, let the water and air be poisoned, let the public schools fail, let the poor starve and the sick die, not one penny more.

In fact, those fabulous "makers" deserve a tax cut, don't ya know.

So of course they keep giving.

After all, what's a few hundred million when there are trillions at stake?

Field Guide To The 2016 Republican Presidential Candidates

Marco "Don't Forget To Hydrate!" Rubio

Jeb "I'm The Smart One--No Really!" Bush. (Honestly, in that family, he just might be. But isn't that very much like being the tallest pygmy?)

Mike "Hey, I Got To Jam With Ted Nugent!" Huckabee

Chris "What Do You Mean Lard Isn't A Food Group?" Christie

Sarah "I'm Still Here And I'm Still Babbling Incoherently" Palin

Scott "Ruining A State Is Just The Beginning" Walker

Ted "Living Proof The Ivy League Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be" Cruz

Rick "The Glasses Make Me Look Smarter, Right?" Perry

Rand "Fill In The Blank" Paul ("I mean, really, I'll say whatever you want me to say. Just tell me what you want me to say.") AKA Rand "I Honestly Can't Open My Mouth Without Saying Something Stupid--God Knows I've Tried" Paul

Ben "Being A Surgeon Requires Less Intelligence Than You'd Think" Carson

Donald "If I Were A Human Being I'd Be Appalled By Me" Trump

Willard Mitt "Wouldn't It Be Easier If I Just Bought The Presidency?" Romney (Willard says he's not going to run and, by God, I believe him! Just like I believed him when he said he cared about poor people...)

Of course, there's always room in the Klown Kar for one more...

Regarding Cliven Bundy

Wouldn't we all be better off as slaves?

I mean, really...

No mortgages. 3 squares. Free housing. Free clothing. Steady work and lots of fresh air.

Oh sure, being owned by someone else does have some drawbacks.

The lashings, the rapes, the wives and children sold to the highest bidders, being worked to death, the unmarked graves. Oh, and let's not forget the brutal, murderous whims of amoral, psychopathic owners. And of course the ultimate dehumanizing act of being treated as a piece of property.

But all in all...

2014 CPAC Roundup

Uh, let's see...

It was just a bunch of delusional, bigoted, reactionary, halfwit assholes vying with each other to see who could be the most delusional, bigoted, reactionary, halfwit asshole.

All for the entertainment of an audience of delusional, bigoted, reactionary, halfwit assholes.

That's about it. Oh, and God Bless America!

Clown Time Is Not Over

I bet you're just as excited about 2016 as I am!

Chris Christie, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Rick Santorum, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz! Wow!

I mean, really, Ted fucking Cruz?! Plus his wingnut daddy? Double Wow!

If we're lucky, maybe even Jeb "I'm The Smart One--No Really" Bush will crawl out of whatever Saudi's pocket he's in and throw his keffiyeh into the ring.

Just between you and me, despite the fawning press he receives, Chris Christie is still just a morbidly obese, loud mouthed bully. And the only explanation I've heard that makes any sense regarding his re-election is that blue state New Jersey has such a huge inferiority complex towards New York, that they are willing to forgive Christie's anti-union anti-teacher Republican crap because they desperately want someone who won't be pushed around by the Empire State. And it would take a bulldozer to push Chris Christie. You'd be better off trying to roll him.

The world has passed these people by, and they don't even know it.

Doesn't matter though, because crazy is the gift that keeps on giving. So we're going to get 3 years of "insider" speculation. And 3 years of Republicans attacking each other for not being "Republican" enough. And 3 years of Tea Party lunacy. Priceless.

Pass the popcorn.

I Demand Satisfaction!

So Rand Paul, R-Wikepedia, pines for the good ol' days of Dixie, when a slight could be settled by a duel...

Fine.

Of course, one of those who Paul The Lesser feels most slighted by is, gasp, a woman! One Rachel Maddow by name.

Young Rand's honor has been thrown into question, and since he couldn't possibly best Ms Maddow in any intellectual contest, he yearns for the only other way he can think of, however illegal and archaic it may be, to satisfy his bruised ego.

Now, I'm not up on the rules of chivalry, southern or otherwise, (though I did recently see 12 Years A Slave, an excellent primer on the mentality of southern white males, past and present), but I don't think a gentleman would challenge a lady to a duel under any circumstances.

In fact, the sort of man who would challenge a woman to a duel isn't really much of a man at all.

Maybe Someday...

Maybe someday...

The hillbillies will realize that they're being played for saps by the billionaires who've bankrolled the Tea Party.

People will wake up to the indisputable truth that "socialized" medicine is cheaper and more effective than the nonsensical system we have.

Poor whites will figure out that the poor blacks and the poor browns aren't their enemies.

American businesses will remember that it was a growing, vital middle class that made our economy the envy of the world.

Red State voters will begin to wonder if there's some correlation between not funding public education and being really, really stupid.

Men will awaken to the fact that women should have the fundamental right to control their reproductive systems.

Folks will read all of the Second Amendment and learn that, contrary to what the NRA says, it does not give carte blanche to gun owners.

Every American citizen will ask themselves why the Koch brothers, and like minded billionaire scum, don't want us to have access to affordable health care, or unions, or protection against corporations, or an EPA, or...

Grover Norquist, Wayne La Pierre, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Louie Gohmert, Steve King, Rand Paul, all of the Fox "News" kids, and everyone else who spreads lies, bile, and hatred to make a buck, will be kicked to the curb, and/or laughed into irrelevance. Then they can all go off to Clown College, where they really belong.

Maybe someday....but don't hold your breath.

Looney Tunes

It is said that the philosopher Wittgenstein enjoyed the fractured logic of cartoons.

Boy, would he have gotten a kick out of the Republican Tea Party!

Simply put, when you elect people who do not believe in government to govern you...well, what would you expect to happen?

Do fact adverse xenophobes living in their own alternative universe have empathy, let alone sympathy, for anyone else? Hell no!

Do people anxiously awaiting the Rapture care about the environment? Hell no!

Do people who swear by the Book of Revelations and can't wait for the "end times" to begin care about peace and justice in the Middle East? Hell no!

Do nihilists plan for the future? Hell no!

Do fools, knaves and grifters in the pockets of billionaires care about anything but their next payoff? Hell no!

Bugs, Daffy, Porky and Elmer, had nothing on Ted, Louie, Sarah and Rand.

A Bit Of Harmless Fun

We all sit, with bated breath, waiting for the Great Syria Debate.

The nation's best minds, seated in our hallowed Congress and representing all reasonable points of view, will, with the highest intellectual rigor and the wisdom that is our country's birth right....

And blah blah blah.

Louie Gohmert is a member of the United States Congress. So is Trent Franks. So are Steve King, Darrell Issa, Ted Cruz, Dana Rohrabacher...oh, the list goes on and on. Inhofe, Flake, Paul, McConnell, Graham, and Sessions. Quite the brain trust, ain't it?

The Congressional debate over Syria will make monkeys throwing their feces at each other look like Masterpiece Theatre.

Some of these morons will still not admit that the President is a native born US citizen. They're just not sure...

Or perhaps they are sure, but they know they have to act like idiots to appease their idiotic base. I don't know which is worse: to be an idiot or to just act like one because you're afraid.

Our Congress is full of bought and paid for "climate change" deniers, evolution deniers, healthcare crisis deniers, gun nuts, racists, homophobes, misogynists, Ayn Rand quoting dweebs and hopheads chanting "USA USA!" as they stuff the Koch brothers' money into their pockets.

Expecting them to do anything in a sane and timely fashion is asking way too much...it would require them to put aside their personal passions and pettiness and act like statesmen. And that's not going to happen.

Anyway, the truth is that there is no good solution to what is happening in Syria. It is a civil war between a murderous despot, who is supported and supplied by Russia, China and Iran, versus a collection of armed sects. And trust me, the Russians and Chinese really don't care who Assad gasses. Because they both reserve the right to brutalize their own citizens as needed and by whatever means necessary. Besides, this gives them all a chance to screw with the good ol' USA.

Based on our lies about Iraq, why would the other member states of the UN trust us now? Even our British friends are tired of war. And if by chance Assad could be removed, who would replace him? There is no fertile ground for democracy to take root. Modern Syria is, like most of the Arab states in the Middle East, an artificial construct, left behind from the remains of the Ottoman Empire after the first World War. Cobbled together by the British and French out of tribes that have been killing each other for a thousand years, since the original schism in the Muslim world. And apparently you can now throw al-Qaeda into that mix. What kind of coalition government would that toxic brew yield? And for how long?

I have no doubt that there are many peace loving, innocent Syrians who want to live in the 21st Century and not the Middle Ages. After all, most people everywhere just want to get along with their lives, watch their children grow, and age as gracefully as possible. Unfortunately, in Syria they have no power, nor any say in what happens to themselves or their state. Personally, I would pack all I could and head for the nearest border.

I'm afraid the slaughter of the innocents will continue for the foreseeable future, until all innocence is lost.

Dying Is Easy, Comedy Is Hard

For a moment I thought I'd stumbled onto the funniest political satire I've heard in years.

The most absurd, illogical nonsense offered up with a straight face. I was reminded of that Python bit about the Really Loony Party. Superb daftness.

Then it dawned on me that I was watching taped coverage of CPAC.

And they really mean that shit.

Ted "And You Thought Rick Perry Was The Biggest Asshole In Texas" Cruz and Rand "The Federal Government Is Worthless And That's Why I Fit Right In" Paul.

Sarah "Pay Me My Money Down" Palin and Ann "If I Were Just A Little More Feminine I'd Pass As A Female Impersonator" Coulter.

And let's not forget Louis "I'm No More Crazy Than The People Who Elected Me" Gohmert.

Wow.

I mean, WOW!

Calling CPAC a freak show is insulting to sideshow freaks everywhere.

"Is There No One Else?"

The various Republican responses to the State of the Union speech brought something sharply into focus: Every time the Grand Oligarch's Party sends someone out to debate, attack, or counter President Obama, I'm reminded of a scene from Troy.

Early in the movie, Achilles (Brad Pitt), is to battle, mano y mano, with the best the other side has to offer. Of course, because he's Achilles and Brad Pitt,  he dispatches his larger, seemingly more powerful rival with shocking ease and an almost carefree nonchalance. Then, he stands facing the rest of the enemy army and says, challenging and mocking them in the same breath, "Is there no one else? Is there no one else?"

Mitt "I Really Didn't Want To Be President Anyway" Romney?

Marco "Always Remember To Hydrate" Rubio?

Rand "Yes, By God, I Believe This Shit!" Paul?

John "Weepy" Boehner?

Mitch "Corn Pone" McConnell?

John "Did I Mention I Was A POW?" McCain?

Lindsey "Belle of the South" Graham?

"Is there no one else?"