"Too Stupid To Collude"

Four little words that will be Donald J. Trump Jr.'s epitaph.

It'll look really good on a granite headstone, too. Only the best granite, I'm sure. No! Let's go with marble! Like a Roman Emperor would use to memorialize his dimwitted son.

"Too stupid to collude."

Must be those "superior genes", huh?

Or do they skip a generation?

Or are they simply not there at all?

Like the old saying goes, "the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree."

Questions, questions, questions.

"Too stupid to collude."

WOW.

The Trump Doctrine(s)

1. Everything is for sale. Everything. Including America's dignity, honor, and security.

2. Steal everything and anything you can get your hands on.

3. If you get caught, LIE.

4. If you get caught lying, lie some more.

That's it. That's all.

When this "man" and his family are finally out of the White House, before the place is scoured and fumigated, somebody better count the silverware.

Signor Baseball's Somewhat Belated 2019 AL Preview

Signor Baseball has been plagued by a variety of nagging ailments (it is the years and the miles), an automobile accident (that was not his fault), and the knowledge that there are approximately 40 million Americans who are complete imbeciles. And, as a result, he has fallen a little behind in his prognosticating.

But, as the executioner says, the show must go on.

So, let's start in the East. If it's good enough for the sun, it's good enough for me. Once again the Yankees will hit many home runs and strike out many times. And once again their starting pitching will be precarious. New York might have the best bullpen in the Majors, but getting to it with a lead may prove problematical. Also, New York has already been hit with an outrageous injury bug. Starting to look like a MASH unit up in the Bronx. So, despite a very weak start, it looks like the Red Sox are the favorites--once again. Unless Tampa can continue to play .750 baseball, that is. But they can't do that...can they? I mean honestly, name two Rays. Go on. Snell and, uh, that other guy...Toronto isn't nearly strong enough to compete, though Vlad Guerrero Jr. may liven things up in the Great White North. Baltimore is a disaster zone. Nice town, good people, great ballpark, bad team. So, Boston, Yankees, maybe Tampa if they're for real, Toronto if they're not and the Orioles way, way back. One, possibly two Wild Cards.

Central: Cleveland, city of lights, city of mystery. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, or as I like to call it, The Hall of You're Kidding Me, They're In and They're Not?! is in Cleveland. The Indians seem to win the Central every year, and 2019 should be no different. They have a solid everyday lineup and the best pitching in the division. And that's more than enough. The Twins have improved to the point where they can keep it relatively close, at least for awhile. Chicago is also better than they have been. So, Minnesota and the White Sox in whatever order pleases you, for second and third. The Royals have fallen on hard times. It wasn't that long ago that Kansas City was the class of this division, but now they will struggle to stay out of the cellar. They will be helped in this endeavor by Detroit. The Tigers have fallen on even harder times than the Royals. Sad. Sad. Sad. On the plus side, both teams are just a couple of players away--if those players are the spitting image of Willie Mays and Sandy Koufax.

West: Mike Trout is the best player in baseball. Mike Trout just signed a new contract with the Angels for close to half a billion dollars. Mike Trout will have a typically great year. The Angels will not win the West this year. That is how baseball, unlike, say, basketball, works. So, who will win the West? Probably Houston. They have a great lineup and good starting pitching--though it's not quite as good as it has been. Seattle and Oakland will battle for second, with a chance for a Wild Card. The aforementioned Angels of Anaheim, or whatever they call themselves now, will be lucky to play .500 ball. And poor old Texas is in tear it down and start again mode, and a fire sale of their more expensive players should begin sometime in late June, early July. Maybe a Wild card from this division.

Signor Baseball's 2019 NL Preview

 I think it was Jesus who first said "Good pitching beats good hitting. Except when it doesn't."

Or maybe it was Casey Stengel, who was a much more interesting conversationalist.

Anyway, as some people try to pretend, at least for a little while, that Trump is "innocent" and also a "man", let's take a look at what the National League has to offer for 2019.

In the East, we see a jumble. The Mets still have superior starting pitching--when healthy. But they can't seem to stay healthy. And they also don't seem capable of scoring enough runs to win those games when their superior starting pitching gives up more than 1-2 runs. So, sadly, let's forget about the Mets. Philadelphia added Bryce Harper's big bat, and perhaps more importantly, J. T. Realmuto, one of the best catchers in baseball, and maybe that will be enough to push them past Atlanta. Washington added another good arm; but good arms tend to get hurt in National's land. If they don't, look for a three team race, with the runner up having a good shot at a Wild Card. It could be a four team race, if the Mets bats could ever keep up with their arms. And the arms stay healthy, of course. Nah. New York will be somewhere around .500 and that leaves the Marlins in last, still occasionally developing good players, and then having to get rid of them when they ask for more money. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

In the Central, the Cubs, Brewers, and Cardinals should be neck and neck all season long. Chicago still puts the best lineup on the field--but where did that get them last year? Milwaukee is solid everywhere--but starting pitching, And the St. Louis, thanks to Arizona's penury, now has Paul Goldschmidt to anchor their batting order. 30 homers, 100 rbi's, and a .300 average looks pretty good in any team's lineup. Injuries and whichever team's starters come through will decide the Central. Probably a Wild Card, maybe two, from here as well. Elsewhere, the Pirates are talented, but very young, and probably a year or two away from seriously competing. And it looks like Cincinnati will have to rely on the madcap comedic stylings of Yasiel Puig to make this year entertaining. He may not be the second coming of Willie Mays, but he is endlessly amusing.

Out West, the Diamondbacks traded their best everyday player, lost their second best everyday player and number 2 starter to free agency, and replaced the grass on their field with artificial turf. What they really need to replace is their managing general partner, Ken Kendrick, who is an imbecile. Tough for any team to overcome an imbecile owner, so...unless their pitching is a lot better than it looks, last place seems like a likely outcome for Arizona. Probably lowest attendance in the division, too. Suck on that, ownership. For the rest of the division, the Dodgers still are the team to beat, with Colorado a not so close second. L.A. is just loaded; they should be with that payroll. If they don't run away with the West, somebody ought to lose their job. I don't see a Wild Card team coming from this division. All indications are that San Francisco's window of opportunity has closed for the time being, though they'll still be favored almost every time Bumgarner takes the mound. Too bad he can't pitch every day, huh? The Giants still have one of the best ballparks in the majors and that ain't nothing. If there's a possible surprise team in the West it's San Diego. Without the various pressures of playing in L.A., Manny Machado should regain his All-Star form. And Fernando Tatis Jr. looks like the real deal. Now, if they can just find some reliable arms...

Thinning The Herd

For a group of people who don't believe in evolution, conservatives sure do love social Darwinism.

You start with the young. Weaken--or take away entirely--their public schools, hot lunch programs, Head Start, after school activities. Close as many public facilities as possible. Make getting gunned down at school a distinct possibility. Living with that constant fear in the pit of their stomachs will get them ready for adulthood. If they survive to adulthood. Remember to repeatedly tell them that nonsense about pulling themselves up by their bootstraps!

Then there's the sick. Take away as much health care as you can. Make it impossible for people with pre-existing conditions to get insurance. Let the drug companies charge whatever they want. Encourage people to go broke from paying hospital bills. Hey, it's their choice: that expensive, necessary surgery or food and housing. And you have to make choices in this life!

Finally, the old. Gut their pensions. Starve Social Security. Plenty of greeter jobs at WalMart, you lazy old fucks!

If you're a heartless Republican (or Libertarian) prick, dreaming sweet wet dreams of Ayn Rand's river of bullshit and the glories of the Free Market, it's really not that hard to do these things.

Poor people are such a drag. They had every opportunity in this greatest nation on the face of the earth to make enough money to pay for private schools, gold plated healthcare, and a happy and long retirement. And they just didn't do it.

Better off dead, you know?