Who's In Charge Of Changing The President's Diaper?

This is a very important question, and one that, to my knowledge, hasn't been asked. 

It is, indeed, a question of national security. 

You can't just let anyone change Trumpie's diaper. 

And it has to be changed regularly. Otherwise he just sits in it, with a contented smile on his face. Like a big orange baby. 

Now, we know it's not Melania. She certainly didn't sign up for that kind of, well, shit.

Ivanka? Princess Sparkle Pony is very busy helping her hubby get all the blood off his hands so they can get back to planning for Trump World Gaza. Just a couple more million people to, uh, "relocate" and they can start building!

Junior and Eric? Diapers are way too complicated for them to master. Eric would probably end up with it on his head, while his big brother just gives up and calls his coke dealer.

JD Vance? I'm afraid the smell would make his eyeliner run, and we can't have that. It might detract from his masculinity.

Pam Bondi? Maybe. But she is very busy trying to figure out which laws to break next and which laws to simply ignore. You know, legal stuff.

Kash Patel?  It would explain that crazy bug eyed look he sometimes has. Like he's staring into the face of great evil. Of course, that happens every time he looks in a mirror.

Steve Bannon? Good possibility. Someone that full of shit definitely wouldn't be bothered by the smell. 

But my money is on Stephen Miller. I bet he keeps them in a special room, and when he has a big sad, like if his wife left him, he goes into the room and just stares at them until he feels better. I'm sure he has his favorites. Like Proust with his madelines, each breath brings back a fond memory. "Ah! Burnt steak slathered in ketchup! Big Mac and a diet coke! Gosh, I don't know what that is, but I like it!" His eyes fill with tears of joy, and he has the strength to go back to lying about, well, everything.

Yep, must be Stephen Miller. 

Where We Are Now

Picture a large control room. Like the NASA ones we used to see back in the day, before we outsourced our space program to the Ketamine Kid. Or maybe the one at Chernobyl. 

Lots of levers. Lots of flashing lights. Lots of screens. Tons of complicated electronic stuff that you have to have years of training to be qualified to operate.

Now, picture a monkey. Not a higher primate. Not an ape.

A monkey. One of those antic ones, seemingly crazy, that hop around incessantly screeching. Pausing occasionally to throw its shit everywhere. 

That kind of monkey.

Hey, I know! Let's put that crazy monkey in the control room!

Watch him shriek and hop from chair to chair, turning knobs, going from screen to screen, climbing up the walls. Tossing shit all the time.

No idea how anything works. Couldn't care less how anything works. Brain the size of a walnut. Not a clue in his simple monkey head. 

But he's having one hell of a time breaking things. It's fun!

This is where we are now.

 

The Long Goodbye

Some things to remember as the United States slowly fades to black:

Billionaires don't need any of the things the Ketamine Kid and his DOGE twerps are happily destroying.

Social Security? Nope.

Medicaid/Medicare? Nope

National Parks? Please.

Food stamps? Come on.

Public education? Get serious.

Affordable health care? Uh, billionaires can afford anything, so...

A vital IRS, determined to look for tax cheats? Leona Helmsley, one of Trumpie the KKKlown's formative role models, said "only the little people pay taxes", and the Big Boy took that to heart.  I mean, really, why should billionaires have to pay any taxes?  They contribute so much to our country. Anyway, taxes are like stealing, aren't they?

The key thing to remember in all this is simple: the Billionaires couldn't care less whether you live or die. Whether you have a house, and food, and health care, a good education for your kids, and a secure retirement, doesn't matter to them at all. If taking things away from you will make them even richer, well, they won't give a second thought about taking them. You are nothing to them.

One last thought: Perhaps it was a mistake putting the world's largest economy in the hands of a blithering idiot who's gone bankrupt multiple times. 

Perhaps.

 

A Miscalculation

There are more guns in the U.S. than there are people.

Not all of them are in the hands of MAGAts.

President South African Marshmallow Boy, and his First Lady, Trumpie the KKKlown, as they gleefully take away more and more from the American people, and make more and more people desperate and angry, may want to consider that. 

Sure, they're in a bubble where all they hear is that they are beloved by one and all, and what a great job they're doing.

Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette were in a bubble, too. 

So were all of the Romanovs and Saddam Hussein.

But, like the man said, "Shit happens".

Welcome To The Land Of Make Believe

So now we must pretend that Donald J. Trump is somehow qualified to be President.

That he isn't a traitor.

That he isn't a rapist.

That he isn't a tax cheat.

That he isn't a total fraud.

That he isn't a lifetime grifter, who would steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes. 

That he doesn't really admire Hitler.

That the incoherent garbage that come out of his mouth is somehow wise state craft.

That he doesn't lie about EVERYTHING.

That he isn't just a collection of ugly, insatiable, appetites, with the intellectual capabilities of a very dull child.

That he isn't in Putin's pocket.

That Melania isn't a mid level underwear model from Eastern Europe. That she really deserved her "Einstein" visa. That she will somehow restore "class" to the White House. That she isn't just another grifter like everyone else in Trump's orbit.

That the media isn't ignoring Trump's slide into dementia.

That the Trump administration won't be full of criminals, fools, crooks, amoral billionaires, Putin stooges, and assorted sycophants.

That they won't hurt the majority of Americans. 

That they won't care that they're hurting the majority of Americans.

That Elon Musk is a genius, and not a drug addled freak, with a deep fondness for Nazis.

That the Republicans in the House and Senate aren't happily shitting on the Constitution 24/7/365.

That the majority of the Supreme Court isn't comfortably in the bag for our descent into Christo-fascism.

That the media hasn't been complicit, (for the sake of ratings, for fuck's sake), in this entire sordid charade.

That this is all perfectly normal. 

Gore Vidal called our country The United States of Amnesia. He was right.

Santayana said "those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." He was right, too.

Welcome to the Land of Make Believe.

Some Simple Truths

To do an authentic "Trump Dance" you must always soil yourself at the end. And then blame an immigrant for the smell.

 

Billionaires do not care about you. They only care about accumulating more and more money and power. And perhaps a few--but not all--of their immediate family.

The idea that they would willingly allow anything to "trickle down" is laughable. But then the entire concept of trickle down has been laughable from the very beginning. One of the only honest things that George H.W. Bush ever did was to call it "voodoo economics". Of course he quickly changed his mind when the prospect of being Reagan's VP was presented to him. That action alone marks him as a perfect Republican: Always ditch the truth when it interferes with your job prospects.

The idea that Barron Trump is some kind of political savant is almost as laughable as the idea that his daddy is a great businessman. Almost.

 

Speaking of that, if I were Canadian, I wouldn't be too concerned about the U.S. gobbling up my country. Based on Trump's past performance as a "great businessman", what is much more likely to happen is that he will bankrupt our country, and Canada will then acquire us, for pennies on the dollar.

Joe Rogan is funnier than Rush Limbaugh in the same way that syphilis is funnier than cancer. It just is.

Trumpie the Clown embracing crypto makes perfect sense. As a life long conman, he recognizes a con better than most people. Certainly much better than his followers do.

The latest thing on X,  seems to be proclaiming that Melania is in fact a Romanoff. Ponder on that one for awhile.

The first Trump administration was bad enough. But the second one will be the most corrupt administration in the history of this country, hands down. The lawlessness will be breathtaking. 

Buckle up everyone.

A Brief Glance At Some Of Trumpie The Clown's Proposed Administration

As you read these, keep telling yourself  "He only knows the best people. He only knows the best people. He only knows the best people." And, before you start, pour yourself a very stiff drink.

Attorney General: The first proposed candidate was Matt Gaetz, who is allegedly a sexual predator. Which he shares with Trumpie--except in Trumpie's case you can drop the "allegedly" part. He also appears to be suffering from either a very bad chem peel, or a complete failure of a face lift. But, not to worry--he's out. His replacement is Pam Bondi, whose one qualification is she knows how to take a bribe and keep her mouth shut. This is a very important trait in Trump World.

Secretary of State: Lil Marco Rubio, who apparently put his dignity, common sense, and manhood in a blind trust to please Trumpie, is perhaps the "most" qualified of Trumpie's picks so far. And he isn't qualified at all--except as a world class lickspittle. Another important trait in Trump World.

Secretary of Defense: Pete Hegseth's chief qualification to be in charge of the world's most powerful military is that he was a talking head on Fox News. Oh, he was in the Minnesota National Guard and he was posted  to Iraq and Afghanistan, but his main claim to military fame is he convinced Trumpie to pardon three soldiers convicted or accused of war crimes during those conflicts. So, you know his moral sense is in just the right place for this Administration. He's also been accused of sexual assault. Petey is on wife number 3. Just like Trumpie. Apparently he cheated on the first two. Now, if he can just cheat on number three, he'll be tied with Trumpie in that category. At one point, his mother criticized him for his treatment of women, using words like "abuser" "lies, cheats, sleeps around" etc. But, wonder of wonders,  he found religion and Mommie now says he's A-OK. A mother's love is a beautiful thing.

Whatever the fuck Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is supposed to be: the salient fact about RFK Jr. is that he is disgrace to his father's memory. Beyond that, he knows literally nothing about science, medicine, vaccines, and whatever else he is supposed to "fix". And the few things he does know are mostly wrong. His core "beliefs" are indistinguishable from medieval superstitions. Get ready for the triumphant return of assorted infectious disease that you thought were long gone. Enjoy your raw milk.

Ambassador to France: Jared Kushner's daddy, Charles, is a criminal. Trumpie, of course, pardoned him on his way out the door the first time. Odds are he will have to pardon him again on his way out the door this time, because once you start "crimin' it's hard to stop. A pile of moldy brie would make a better ambassador to France.

The DOGE kids:  Elon Musk has become the World's Richest Man by buying up other people's ideas, pretending he invented them, and then getting HUGE government loans to "grow" his businesses. He and Vivek Whateverswamy are so "smart", so very "smart" that they are going to gut the Federal government. And though this will cause untold suffering to everyone who needs government assistance (and that's most everyone who isn't a multi-millionaire or billionaire) they're sure that this will make everything much better...eventually. And if it doesn't, well, they'll still both be rich beyond most people's imagining, so it's all good. Besides, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few million eggs.