This is a very important question, and one that, to my knowledge, hasn't been asked.
It is, indeed, a question of national security.
You can't just let anyone change Trumpie's diaper.
And it has to be changed regularly. Otherwise he just sits in it, with a contented smile on his face. Like a big orange baby.
Now, we know it's not Melania. She certainly didn't sign up for that kind of, well, shit.
Ivanka? Princess Sparkle Pony is very busy helping her hubby get all the blood off his hands so they can get back to planning for Trump World Gaza. Just a couple more million people to, uh, "relocate" and they can start building!
Junior and Eric? Diapers are way too complicated for them to master. Eric would probably end up with it on his head, while his big brother just gives up and calls his coke dealer.
JD Vance? I'm afraid the smell would make his eyeliner run, and we can't have that. It might detract from his masculinity.
Pam Bondi? Maybe. But she is very busy trying to figure out which laws to break next and which laws to simply ignore. You know, legal stuff.
Kash Patel? It would explain that crazy bug eyed look he sometimes has. Like he's staring into the face of great evil. Of course, that happens every time he looks in a mirror.
Steve Bannon? Good possibility. Someone that full of shit definitely wouldn't be bothered by the smell.
But my money is on Stephen Miller. I bet he keeps them in a special room, and when he has a big sad, like if his wife left him, he goes into the room and just stares at them until he feels better. I'm sure he has his favorites. Like Proust with his madelines, each breath brings back a fond memory. "Ah! Burnt steak slathered in ketchup! Big Mac and a diet coke! Gosh, I don't know what that is, but I like it!" His eyes fill with tears of joy, and he has the strength to go back to lying about, well, everything.
Yep, must be Stephen Miller.
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