Hallelujah!

Many years from now, your grandchildren will ask you "where were you when you heard that Glendale had been awarded the 2015 Super Bowl?"

Personally, I began weeping with joy when Mrs. Franklin told me the news. It's taken me many hours and some pretty powerful medication to compose myself enough to write these words. When I saw the front page of the paper with Young Michael Bidwill and "Governor" Jan Brewer beaming with joy at the wonderful news I almost relapsed.

Sure it's more than 3 years away. Sure the only new jobs it will create are temporary and low paying. Sure the local municipalities will get stuck with paying overtime for police protection. Sure the huge numbers being floated around for the game's alleged economic impact are totally unsubstantiated. Sure, most of the money will ultimately end up wherever the hotel, rental car, and restaurant chains are headquartered. (Hint: it's not Arizona.)

That's not the point.

WE GOT THE SUPER BOWL!!! Take that, Tampa Bay!!!

And when I say we, I don't mean "we" as in you and me. That "we" gets next to nothing. The chances of one of "us" even getting tickets for the game are minuscule. No, I mean the greater "we". The "we" that defines itself by the success or failure of its sports teams. The "we" that is always willing to give billions of dollars of taxpayer money to wealthy team owners so that they can become even wealthier. The "we" that glorifies men who play kids' games while vilifying teachers. That "we". "They" are ecstatic right now.

2015. Maybe some of you are worried about whether or not you'll still have a job by then. What if you get sick and don't have any insurance? Will you lose your house or be able to feed your kids? That just shows how selfish you people are. Listen, your problems don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy mixed up world. No, what matters is that Young Michael Bidwill and "Governor" Jan Brewer have something to crow about.