Saturday, March 15, 2014

Oooh Baby!

I don't know why the Republicans get so turned on by dictators.

It would probably take the combined insight of Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Lorraine Bracco to figure it out.

Maybe it's the idea of completely ignoring the people you govern, or any kind of open debate, and just doing what you want. Maybe it's that whole law and order thing taken to the nth degree. Maybe they all have Daddy issues. Or Mommy issues. Or maybe they're all just fascists at heart...

Whatever it is, the sight of Vlad Putin's hairless chest has caused some sort of meltdown in our reactionary friends.

Which means that Chris Christie better hit the gym right now if he wants to have any chance at all of getting the nomination of the Grim Old Party in 2016. He's already got the Putin bluster--now he needs the Putin pecs. Here's a thought: a few months on a diet of federal prison food might take off a lot of that Jersey blubber. They have weights there, too.

The same holds true for the pasty twins, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. Sorry boys, but you're just a little too flabby to make hearts flutter. Time to put down the collected works of Ayn Rand, and pick up the P90x. Ditto Jeb Bush. Your country, and by that I mean the Confederate States of America, needs you.

Now Paul Ryan--he might be the complete Republican package. He spends a lot of time in the gym. His policies are all specious crap. And he acts like a total dick, too. But he seems a little short on the bluster.

I wonder, do Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly give lessons?

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