Though on the surface it may seem like an impenetrable word salad offered up by someone with a catastrophic brain injury, it's really not that hard to decipher Fearless Leader's every word.
The truth is essentially the exact opposite of whatever he says.
For instance, "Crooked Hillary" decodes to "I am a career criminal. My Dad was a crook. I am a crook. And I've raised my children to be crooks, too. Ivanka (God I want to fuck her!) even married a crook, probably just to please me."
"There was no collusion" really means "Vlad! Vlad! What do I do now? Please help me. I'll do whatever you tell me to do--that was our deal, right? Just please help me!"
"Little Adam Schiff" deciphered is "I'm a sad, empty man. I'm a failure at literally everything I touch. Look at all those bankruptcies! I fucked up a casino, for Christ's sake! I screw working class people every chance I get. What kind of idiots would vote for someone like me?"
"I'm not a feminist" correctly interpreted is "What I am is a serial adulterer, with a taste for porn stars who remind me of Ivanka (God I want to fuck her!)"
"I only use the best people" said with a straight face decodes as "Look at these putzes. You'd find better qualified people in the line outside a methadone clinic. The truth is 'the best people' avoid me like the plague."
"The Democrats are treasonous" simply means "I'm a traitor. The people who
support me are traitors. In a just world, I'd end up like Mussolini, my
rotting corpse hanging from a lamppost in downtown D.C. as a warning to
all."
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