Amy Coney Barrett Orders An Ice Cream Cone

Clerk: Yes ma'am?

ACB: I would like to order an ice cream.

Clerk: Yes ma'am. What flavor?

ACB: So many to choose from.

Clerk: Yes there are. But you must have a favorite. 

ACB: At this time I am not prepared to offer an opinion. 

Clerk: But--

ACB: Each flavor must be judged individually, based on the original intention of its maker.

Clerk: What?

ACB: I cannot announce any choice that I might or might not make regarding any, or for that matter, all ice creams, until I have weighed the intent.

Clerk: Uh huh. You must have a favorite, though. 

ACB: Whether I do, or don't, cannot be determined until such time as I am confronted with arguments from all sides.

Clerk: Arguments? It's just ice cream, lady. Surely you have a--

ACB: I have no preconceptions regarding any flavor of ice cream. I just want to adhere to the original intent of the ice cream makers.

Clerk: Uh huh. "The original intent of the ice cream makers." I haven't heard that one before.

ACB: I believe that it is impossible for any person of reason to choose anything without understanding its makers' original intent.

Clerk: I'm pretty sure they just wanted to make something that tastes good that people will like.

ACB: And what is your source for that belief?

Clerk: Just a wild guess. Maybe if we just narrowed it down to vanilla and chocolate?

ACB: Fine flavors both. There is established precedent for both.

Clerk: Good. We're making progress. How about a scoop of creamy, snow white Vanilla?

ACB: I would never choose, or not choose, an ice cream based on color. That would be wrong.

Clerk: OK. A scoop of rich, dark Chocolate then?

ACB: Hmm. I don't know. There are merits to both. And demerits as well. Until I have further information, from all available sources, I'm afraid I must delay announcing my decision.

Clerk: Next in line, please!