The Accomplishments Of Donald J. Trump

There follows an incomplete list of the major accomplishments of Donald J. Trump, soon to be a former President of the United States:

He made George W. Bush seem almost competent. At one point, I would have thought that that was impossible, but...we are forced from here on out to compare all Presidents, past and future to Trump. So, even though W. was by any fair accounting a fucking disaster, once you apply the Trump comparison meter, he was, well, still a fucking disaster--but not nearly as catastrophic a fucking disaster as Donald J. Trump. Because, for all of his faults, George W. Bush was not a racist, criminal, traitor. A combination that will henceforth be known as The Full Trump. 

At this point, all of our awful, crappy Presidents, move down one on the list of awful, crappy Presidents. Donald J. Trump is numbah 1, now and, if our luck holds, forever.

It's not all bad for Trump, though. After all, he ended the political career of Jeb "Please Clap" Bush. The "smart one" just didn't have the stones to defeat the "corrupt one". So we will have to wait another generation for a Bush to rise up and darken the land. Credit where credit is due to El Trumpo the Conqueror. 

He exposed the Republican Party for what it has been since 1968 at least: a collection of racists, hiding behind code words like "states' rights", "law and order", and "welfare queens". A party whose sole legislative purpose is to redistribute wealth upward while maintaining a permanent under class, all while appealing to the worst impulses of its base. How they got from the Party of Lincoln to this in a little over 100 years is a truly amazing achievement. 

He set an unbreakable record for lies. 25,000 of them as of today. Sure, all Presidents lie. But Jesus Christ, there's a difference between a dribble and a tsunami. Nixon and Reagan, previously thought of as the gold standard, were rank amateur liars compared to Donald J. Trump. He lies incessantly, he lies without a shred of conscience, he lies about everything and anything. He lies about things that there is no good reason to lie about. Obviously, he cannot help himself. With this amazing, unmatched, ability he really should have gone into religion instead of business. There's always a place for that level of mendacity in the Houses of the Lord. He already has the hair and the makeup, and if he can avoid prison (and that's a very big "if" hahaha) he could segue right into televangelism.

He helped to kill 265,000 Americans--and counting. And that's a lot. But at least he avoided a CoVid "panic". Right? On the plus side of the ledger, some of those were (and will be) his own supporters. When you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

I wonder, right before they intubate a MAGAt, do they ask "tired of winning yet?"

By necessity, this must remain an incomplete list. No doubt the Biden Justice Department will add many entries. 

In the meantime, he has a few more weeks to work his "magic".