The Easiest Cure For Traitors And/Or Treason

So I'm watching The Guns of Navarone the other night.

Pretty good action flick. Solid performances from everyone--with Anthony Quinn especially good. Should probably be remade with modern special effects...

Anyway, at one point in the film, one of the team is found to be a traitor. 

Their treason has endangered the mission and all the other members of the team.

Of course, the traitor has their reasons. 

Traitors always have their reasons.

In the film a short discussion regarding the traitor is followed swiftly by execution.

That's it. 

That's all.

No appeal. 

No Fox News counter argument to obfuscate everything.

No Republican "what about?" bullshit. 

You are a traitor.

This is your punishment.

I guarantee if we put a few of our traitors up against a wall, this sort of shit would never happen again.

The Republican Playbook

1. Get elected any way you can. 

Lie cheat steal. It's all good if it gets you elected. 

Take money from any corporation, billionaire, or foreign state that offers it. It all spends the same.

Blow that racist dog whistle. Blow hard! All of those people who say, "I'm not a racist, but..." will appreciate your efforts.

Make up shit about voter fraud. Smart people realize that it is so infrequent and so statistically insignificant that it can barely be measured. But our base isn't smart, so...knock yourself out!

To attract independents, make up some bullshit about inflation, or baby formula, or Afghanistan, or somebody's laptop. Is Benghazi still a thing? Please, please, please let it be!

Whatever deviance you practice, claim your opponent practices it first. 

Do whatever you can to keep people of color from voting. Same thing applies to young people of all ethnicities.

Remember, rampant hypocrisy is a feature--not a bug. 

2. Once in office:

Continue spreading all the garbage that got you elected. You now have a pulpit. Use it!

You have one job: and that is to help the richest people get richer. Know which side your bread is buttered on, for Christ's sake.

After all, poor people are a drag. They need things. You know, food, education, affordable housing, health care they can afford. And, on top of all of that, well, let's call it what it is, BEGGING, they don't have any money to help your campaign.

STOP anything that might be good for the majority of Americans. Sane gun control, universal health care, higher minimum wage, etc etc etc. Repeat after me, You Are Not There To Help The People Who Need It. That's socialism, after all.

And always remember this: We are all good Christians--and they're not.

Sadly, despite your best efforts, and all that Koch and NRA and foreign money, ultimately you may lose re-election. So make sure that you've fucked up so many things, so thoroughly, that the Democrat who replaces you will have a mountain of things to fix.

3. Then, and this is the really fun part, start complaining as often and as loudly as possible, that they haven't fixed everything fast enough.

Kari Lake Needs Help!

I don't know Kari Lake.

I don't think I know anyone who knows Kari Lake.

Blessedly, we don't travel in the same social circles.

But if anyone reading this knows her, or knows someone who knows her, I'm begging you to organize an intervention.

She needs help. Poor little thing thinks that being a news reader--not even a real journalist, just a news reader--on a Fox propaganda station, in a minor media market, somehow qualifies her to be Governor of Arizona.

Of course, this is not unusual in Arizona Republicans. Our current Governor's sole qualification for office was being an ice cream salesman, after all. So, as they say, the bar is set very, very, low.

I'm not questioning Kari's Republican bona fides, either. She's got them down pat. The groveling and genuflecting to Trump, the haranguing about THE WALL, the fear mongering about hordes of immigrants, the lying about President Biden, the questioning of the legitimacy of the 2020 election. All of the standard Republican reactionary bullshit rolls off her lips so easily. It's really something to behold.

No, what causes me to ask for an intervention for dear Kari is that she promised recently, if elected, to hang a painting of Der Trump, dressed up as some sort of Revolutionary War soldier, in the Governor's office.

And that is a bridge too far. Cadet Bone Spurs as a soldier?! Puhleeeze.

(I suppose, somewhere in the deep dark depths of the internet, you could find a portrait of Hitler as a rabbi...you see what I'm getting at here?)

Anyway, if you truly care about Kari Lake's mental health, such as it is, get her some help, and quickly.

See, Arizona being what it is, if the Republicans can suppress enough Democratic votes, a former Fox News' reader with limited intellect, spewing venomous nonsense, might just be our next governor. 

(By the way, none of the other Republicans running for Governor are appreciably better. Maybe a little less strident, a little more polished--but they are all still pushing the same sad bullshit.)