The Republican Playbook

1. Get elected any way you can. 

Lie cheat steal. It's all good if it gets you elected. 

Take money from any corporation, billionaire, or foreign state that offers it. It all spends the same.

Blow that racist dog whistle. Blow hard! All of those people who say, "I'm not a racist, but..." will appreciate your efforts.

Make up shit about voter fraud. Smart people realize that it is so infrequent and so statistically insignificant that it can barely be measured. But our base isn't smart, so...knock yourself out!

To attract independents, make up some bullshit about inflation, or baby formula, or Afghanistan, or somebody's laptop. Is Benghazi still a thing? Please, please, please let it be!

Whatever deviance you practice, claim your opponent practices it first. 

Do whatever you can to keep people of color from voting. Same thing applies to young people of all ethnicities.

Remember, rampant hypocrisy is a feature--not a bug. 

2. Once in office:

Continue spreading all the garbage that got you elected. You now have a pulpit. Use it!

You have one job: and that is to help the richest people get richer. Know which side your bread is buttered on, for Christ's sake.

After all, poor people are a drag. They need things. You know, food, education, affordable housing, health care they can afford. And, on top of all of that, well, let's call it what it is, BEGGING, they don't have any money to help your campaign.

STOP anything that might be good for the majority of Americans. Sane gun control, universal health care, higher minimum wage, etc etc etc. Repeat after me, You Are Not There To Help The People Who Need It. That's socialism, after all.

And always remember this: We are all good Christians--and they're not.

Sadly, despite your best efforts, and all that Koch and NRA and foreign money, ultimately you may lose re-election. So make sure that you've fucked up so many things, so thoroughly, that the Democrat who replaces you will have a mountain of things to fix.

3. Then, and this is the really fun part, start complaining as often and as loudly as possible, that they haven't fixed everything fast enough.