A Brief Glance At Some Of Trumpie The Clown's Proposed Administration

As you read these, keep telling yourself  "He only knows the best people. He only knows the best people. He only knows the best people." And, before you start, pour yourself a very stiff drink.

Attorney General: The first proposed candidate was Matt Gaetz, who is allegedly a sexual predator. Which he shares with Trumpie--except in Trumpie's case you can drop the "allegedly" part. He also appears to be suffering from either a very bad chem peel, or a complete failure of a face lift. But, not to worry--he's out. His replacement is Pam Bondi, whose one qualification is she knows how to take a bribe and keep her mouth shut. This is a very important trait in Trump World.

Secretary of State: Lil Marco Rubio, who apparently put his dignity, common sense, and manhood in a blind trust to please Trumpie, is perhaps the "most" qualified of Trumpie's picks so far. And he isn't qualified at all--except as a world class lickspittle. Another important trait in Trump World.

Secretary of Defense: Pete Hegseth's chief qualification to be in charge of the world's most powerful military is that he was a talking head on Fox News. Oh, he was in the Minnesota National Guard and he was posted  to Iraq and Afghanistan, but his main claim to military fame is he convinced Trumpie to pardon three soldiers convicted or accused of war crimes during those conflicts. So, you know his moral sense is in just the right place for this Administration. He's also been accused of sexual assault. Petey is on wife number 3. Just like Trumpie. Apparently he cheated on the first two. Now, if he can just cheat on number three, he'll be tied with Trumpie in that category. At one point, his mother criticized him for his treatment of women, using words like "abuser" "lies, cheats, sleeps around" etc. But, wonder of wonders,  he found religion and Mommie now says he's A-OK. A mother's love is a beautiful thing.

Whatever the fuck Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is supposed to be: the salient fact about RFK Jr. is that he is disgrace to his father's memory. Beyond that, he knows literally nothing about science, medicine, vaccines, and whatever else he is supposed to "fix". And the few things he does know are mostly wrong. His core "beliefs" are indistinguishable from medieval superstitions. Get ready for the triumphant return of assorted infectious disease that you thought were long gone. Enjoy your raw milk.

Ambassador to France: Jared Kushner's daddy, Charles, is a criminal. Trumpie, of course, pardoned him on his way out the door the first time. Odds are he will have to pardon him again on his way out the door this time, because once you start "crimin' it's hard to stop. A pile of moldy brie would make a better ambassador to France.

The DOGE kids:  Elon Musk has become the World's Richest Man by buying up other people's ideas, pretending he invented them, and then getting HUGE government loans to "grow" his businesses. He and Vivek Whateverswamy are so "smart", so very "smart" that they are going to gut the Federal government. And though this will cause untold suffering to everyone who needs government assistance (and that's most everyone who isn't a multi-millionaire or billionaire) they're sure that this will make everything much better...eventually. And if it doesn't, well, they'll still both be rich beyond most people's imagining, so it's all good. Besides, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few million eggs.

Some Things I Will Simply Never Understand

Let's say you're an American billionaire.

Or perhaps just a billionaire who's made their fortune in America.

You've obviously done very well under the system we have.

A billion dollars is a lot. Multiples of a billion are almost beyond comprehension for the vast majority of people.

Sure, there are rules and regulations and laws you may chafe about. Just because you have, at a bare minimum, one thousand million dollars doesn't mean you can't find things to complain about.

Human nature being what it is.

But, bottom line, you've done very well financially by this country.

So, why do some billionaires want to destroy the system that has made them rich, Rich, RICH?

It might make a suspicious person think that they must be working for someone else.

Maybe some foreigner.

Some foreigner who really does want to destroy America from the inside.

It isn't too surprising that Trump doesn't understand how tariffs work.

After all, he's bankrupted several business, including a couple of casinos.

He's simply not very good with numbers and he simply can't wrap his mostly empty head around the whole tariff issue.

But he has people around him who aren't complete imbeciles, and they should sit him down, give him a Big Mac and plenty of ketchup, and talk him through the whole tariff deal until he either gets it, which admittedly isn't likely, or gets distracted by something shiny, and forgets about the whole subject.

My dog, who is a poodle and therefore smarter than many people, understands that Obamacare and the ACA are the same fucking thing. Why don't the "low information voters" so beloved by Trumpie?

We continue to read about the many people who vehemently want to get rid of Obamacare but keep their ACA health plan.

I mean, it's one thing to be "low information" and quite another to be a fucking moron.

Don't you think?

Hey, once they round up all the "illegals" and throw them into processing "camps" so that the MAGATs, Tom Homan,  and Stephen Miller can finally get an erection that lasts, who's going build the houses, pick the produce, work in the slaughterhouses, clean houses, mow lawns, cook food, look after your kids, in short do all of the things that obese, lazy, soft, white folks can't or won't do?

Oh! That's why Republicans are bringing back child labor! My bad.

All the latest food fads, all the latest diets, all the latest miracle pills are completely unnecessary. And yet we are inundated with adds for all sorts "miracle" weight loss schemes. And desperate people frantically grasp any and all of them.

You don't need a pill to lose weight. Just stop eating so much.

We, as a nation, are obese because We. Eat. Too. Much.

It's just that simple. It's not about preservatives. It's not about what is and isn't organic. It's not about corn syrup. It's about quantity.

This isn't rocket science. You take in more calories than you expend, the excess turns to fat.

Every foreigner who comes to this country is shocked by our portion sizes.

Add in an increasingly sedentary lifestyle, and voila!

Exercise of practically any kind is good for you, but unless you're a marathon runner, or tri-athlete, there is no way that exercise alone will overcome the shear amount of food that the typical American ingests in a week.

Here's an experiment. Keep track of all the calories you consume in a week. Divide by 7. Then look up the recommended daily caloric intake for your age and sex. If your daily average isn't well above it, you are in the minority.

Really?

Let's see: the Deep State has "removed" elected leaders and overthrown governments all around the world, for many, many years.

Do you really think "it" would allow itself to be rolled up by a demented, orange painted, diaper wearing,  traitor and his gang of panty waist wannabees?

Really?

Dear American Peoples

On behalf of all of us, that is Vladimir Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, Kim Jong-Un, Viktor Orban,  MBS,  Elon Musk, Leonard Leo, and the Federalist Society, we would like to personally thank you for restoring our favorite lap dog to your Presidency.

It will certainly make everything that comes after so much easier for us.

Also, on behalf of rapists, tax cheats, business frauds, pathological liars, adulterers, Christo-Fascists,tech bros, neo-Nazis, white supremacists,  misogynists, and especially traitors everywhere, thank you for enshrining our cherished role model.

What is about to happen to you and your country, you have no previous experience with.

So, buckle up!

Who's the shithole country now?

Ha Ha Ha.

The Lady...Or The Spoiled, Damaged Child

Based on who his parents were, it would be hard for Donald J. Trump to be anything but a spoiled, damaged child.

His father was a racist, sociopathic, mobbed up crook. 

His mother apparently had no interest in being a mother. Or at least no discenible mothering skills.

Throw in Roy Cohn, certainly a contender for worst Americans ever, as a mentor, and the outcome was set.

So...Donald turned out pretty much as one would expect. "The apple", as they say, "doesn't fall very far from the tree."

If he hadn't inherited all that money, cheating his siblings in the process, he would've ended up in a trailer, down by the river. The sort of person good parents would warn their children to avoid.

In a sane world, this wouldn't be anyone's problem--except his immediate family and anyone stupid enough to do business with him.

But, as you may have noticed, this is not a sane world, and there are millions of people who literally worship that pile of Orange Bile.

Rapist, tax fraud, business cheat, adulterer, bully, Putin's puppet, traitor, all wrapped in a smelly package that is rapidly sinking into dementia.

None of that seems to matter to his disciples.

Or to the vile advisors he surrounds himself with. The Project 2025 scum. The people who choose his judges for him. The Libertarian billionaires, especially little Elon Musk. All of them couldn't care less about the majority of our citizens. They care, without exception, for their bank accounts, or their ridiculous religious beliefs, or their deluded views of our history, or their enormous egos. Or maybe just for the blinding whiteness of their skin. They're all committed to using him to get what they want.

Not what's good for the people. What's good for them. The people be damned.

Fortunately, I believe that there are more good people in this country than there are MAGAts.

At least, I hope so.

It's either President Harris, or the end of the American experiment.

It's just that simple.

 

Elon Musk: Liar? Idiot? Putin Stooge? All Three?

You have, no doubt, seen the photos of Elon Musk jumping around like a chihuahua on crack at a recent Trump Lie Fest. It was especially impressive considering that from previous photos I've seen, Musk's body appears to be made entirely from marshmallows. 

What you may not know is, that like many "I did it all by myself" Libertarians before him, Musk's businesses have all relied on government money, either through loans or contracts. His fabulous fortune is due to American taxpayers propping him up, to the tune of many billions of dollars. Your tax dollars at work again.

So much for the rugged individualist, the self-made man. Myths. All myths.

He's cosplaying as an Edison level inventor. Nope. Never invented anything, except his own legend.

And a "free speech loving patriot." Nope again.

Unless your idea of free speech includes a deluge of unchallenged MAGA lies, which flood his soapbox, Twitter/X, every goddamn day. It's heaven for Russian bots, and like walking through a field of fresh dog shit for the rest of us.

As far as being just a concerned, First Amendment loving, "American patriot", in truth he is a South African immigrant, whose family's fortune, like many white South Africans, depended on apartheid. 

(And that father of his? WOW. Like Fred Trump's most infamous spawn, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.)

If Elon isn't a paid Putin stooge, he certainly acts like a paid Putin stooge.

And, since he's gone all in supporting Traitor Trump, to my mind that makes him just another traitor, too.

The sooner this little man heads to Mars, the better for humanity. Oh, and let's make sure he takes Peter Thiel with him.

More Random Musings Of A Bitter Old Man

How stupid do you have to be to send money to a guy who claims, loudly and repeatedly, to be a billionaire? No, not just a mere billionaire, but a billionaire many times over! Trumpie the Clown loves the "low information" voters because they reinforce P.T. Barnum's dictum about suckers with every breath they take.

To be fair, I've lost count of the number of emails I get from Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Michael Bloomberg, and the other real billionaires, begging me to send them a little dough. Whatever I can afford. You know, fuck your house payment, skip a few meals, cash in your 401K, loot the kids' college fund, take a second mortgage on the double wide--whatever--just give until it hurts!!!

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that our poorest, stupidest states, are some of the RED ones. You know, the ones chock full of Real Americans.

The fact that almost all of the Red states get much more from the Federal government than they contribute, making them, well, Welfare States dependent on the Blue States to survive, is simply Not To Be Mentioned in polite conversation.

And now, a brief excursion into theology: My favorite thing about Easter, besides all of the chocolate, is that the date changes every year. Now, for the sake of this argument, let's assume that there really was a Jesus, that he really was crucified, and that he really did rise from the dead. It must have happened on a specific day. The date of this day shouldn't really change by weeks and even months from year to year. Even allowing for the changes to the calendar through the centuries, this is not how things work. I guess it's just another one of those miracles, huh?

Speaking of religious flotsam and jetsam, a quick Amazon search shows a variety of bibles on sale from six dollars up to thirty bucks. Anything more than that, you're getting into the embossed, illustrated, leather clad, your name here, autographed picture of The Big Guy and His Kid included, territory. Of course, the Trump endorsed bible is, by definition, priceless. And cannot be compared to any other bible anywhere. Amen.

Donald J. Trump, a multiple bankrupt with a long string of failed businesses, and Crypto, a "currency" backed by nothing but your dreams....What could possibly go wrong?

By the way, if you put all of your money into Trump Media stock you have a hell of a lot less money than you started out with. But at least you got to "own the Libs" for awhile. Right?

To be honest, I did not have Black Nazi Trans Porn Freak on my 2024 election bingo card. But if I had, I would have bet on him being a good Christian Republican.

Gotta go now. Me and some Haitians are stir frying Fluffy and Rex. And, if you believe that, have I got a Presidential Candidate for you!

My Favorite Time Of Year

I think this may be my favorite time of year.

Baseball is getting down to the nut cracking, the weather has heated up enough to send most of the Phoenix snowbirds back to wherever they came from (less awful drivers to deal with--although there are still more than enough full time residents who don't have a fucking clue), and, (this is what makes it really special), hurricane and tornado season is in full bloom

This means that soon we will hear the desperate pleadings of all the anti-government yahoos that live in hellholes like Tornado Alley, the redder parts of Texas, and the entire state of Florida, desperately begging for FEMA to save their asses.

You know who I'm talking about. The "I don't want to pay taxes to support no goddamn safety net for welfare queens, I want the gubmint off my back, no one ever helped me, blah blah blah" crowd. The kind of folks who vote for the likes of Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, Kevin Stitt, etc etc etc.

And, since almost every Red State contributes less to the U.S. Treasury than they take out, it will be the Blue States that rescue them. 

Again.

They will gladly take the Big Government help --and the money--all while ignoring where it comes from and fervently denying Climate Change exists.

It's a beautiful thing.

Some Unanswered Questions From The NABJ Convention

Since Trumpie had to leave--abruptly and in a big hurry, with not even enough time to raise his tiny fist and shout "Fight!" (probably because his hamburger was getting cold in the Green Room), there were a number of questions that the NABJ folks never got the chance to ask him. 

As if by magic, I happen to have some of them:

"A lot of people are saying that you act like a lapdog to Putin, Xi, in fact any dictator who crosses your path. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Is there anything, anything at all, that you won't lie about?"

"In 2017, you had both houses of Congress, and yet the only thing you got done was a big tax cut for the wealthiest Americans. Can we expect more of the same if you're re-elected?"

"As a follow up, since you don't really take any interest in governing, possibly because it cuts into the time you have for grifting, and are led around by the nose by Leonard Leo and the Heritage Foundation, do you regret that they had you name the justices who overturned Roe v. Wade--despite lying in their confirmation hearings that they wouldn't--and unleashed a huge blow back from women who don't think of themselves as strictly breeding stock?"

"Presidents are judged by their decisions. Your first decision this election was to pick J.D. Vance as your running mate. How's that working out for you?"

"Do you really believe, in 2024, that there are enough racists in the U.S. to carry you to victory in November?"

"Do you think it was a good idea to come to a room full of Black people and attempt to slander a Black woman?"

"Since the Project 2025 was written by people who wholeheartedly support you, including some who served in your administration, how can you, with a straight face, say that you've never heard of it and have no idea what's in it?"

"You've been found guilty of sexual assault in a civil court. You've publicly lusted for your eldest daughter. Your name pops up all over the Jeffrey Epstein documents. And you allegedly raped at least one minor--and then threatened her into silence. Care to comment?"

"Seriously, is there anything you won't lie about?"

See? You Piss Off The Billionaires And Bad Stuff Happens To You

So...good bye to Joe and hello to Kamala.

The reality of our politics at this particular moment is that MONEY is much more important than mere competence. In fact, money is much more important than ANYTHING.

This probably wasn't what the Founders had in mind, but Citizens United has made it the one constancy in American politics.

You need a lot of dough to run for, well, anything.

And who has a lot of dough? Billionaires have a lot of dough.

Sure, those 5 and 10 dollar donations from "the little people'" are cute. Touching even. But come on!

So the question is "how do you appeal to billionaires?"

Why, you promise them that you'll cut their already relatively insignificant taxes.

It's just that easy! 

On the other hand, if you talk about raising their taxes, if you fund the IRS to look for wealthy tax cheats, if you encourage strong unions, if you hint that maybe the welfare of the rest of our citizens is more important than the welfare of the Forbes 500, then the billionaire class gets a sad. A BIG SAD.

It certainly isn't a coincidence that almost all of our major media corporations are controlled by very wealthy Trump supporters. If that isn't obvious after the constant harping on President Biden's age, and his "disastrous" debate showing, and his various verbal stumbles, coupled with their complete avoidance of Trump's descent into something that looks very much like dementia and a serious discussion of ALL of his crimes, foreign and domestic, then you really should start to pay a little attention as our democracy slowly slips away.

Throw in those Silicon Valley Libertarian Bros and their ridiculous belief that they are all self made men who benefited not at all from any government help, and you have a recipe for the mess we find ourselves in.

Here's the deal: if the billionaires get their wish, which is quite apparently another Trump administration, all the bad that will happen to the rest of us Will Not Affect Them In The Least. They don't need Social Security, they don't need Medicare/Medicaid, their wives, daughters, girlfriends, and mistresses will still have access to abortions and birth control, the water and air they use will still be clean, they secretly (sometimes not so secretly) admire dictators, so they're cool with whatever Putin does, a competent federal government only gets in their way, so the less of that the better, and perhaps most importantly, the supply of cheap, desperate labor will be greatly increased.

In November vote like your life depends on it. Because it may.

Compare And Contrast The Candidates

This isn't nearly as hard as some people insist on making it, so here goes:

Joe Biden: well, he is old. And he does stutter from time to time.

Donald J. Trump: rapist. traitor. pathological liar. traitor. tax cheat. traitor. adulterer. traitor. incompetent businessman as evidenced by all those bankruptcies and all of those failed businesses. traitor. fraud. traitor. sexual predator--including, allegedly, with very young girls. traitor. seemingly slipping into some form of dementia as evidenced by his every public utterance. traitor. lap dog to Putin. Did I mention that he's a traitor?

Biden, despite having to work around shit stains like Mitch McConnell and Mike Johnson, faux Democrats like Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, mainstream Media that doesn't care what happens to democracy as long as they have a close "horse race" to blather about, and a Supreme Court overrun with medieval Corporate Whore Catholics, has managed to get passed more positive legislation than any President since FDR. But no tax cuts for the rich, so...

And Trump? Well, to be fair, Trump did manage to squeeze 3, count 'em 3, more turds onto the Supreme Court, and a tax cut that almost entirely benefits the richest American. Oh yeah, let's not forget that his son-in-law walked away with 2 billion dollars of Saudi money.

Hmm.  That's a tough choice.

Signor Baseball's My God What Took You So Long, The Season Is More Than A Third Over 2024 MLB Preview

Well, it is easier this way. All those early season improbabilities--hot streaks and cold streaks--have played out. Things have settled down a bit and we can get down to the nutcracking.

AL East

Do the Yankees finally have enough pitching? Beats me. So far they do, but like every other team, they're a couple of strained tendons away from disaster. They certainly have enough bats. Boy, do they. Judge, Soto and Stanton are a modern Murderers Row. And they seem to be in a race to see who can hit the ball the hardest and the longest.

However, the Orioles, despite flaming out in the Playoffs last year, are still for real. So it looks like the race in the East will be neck and neck til October, with the runner up a lock for one of the Wild Card slots.

For the rest of the division, Toronto, Tampa, and Boston, mired around .500 as I write this, there is a chance to pick up one of the other Wild Cards, if only because they're all capable of winning more than they lose the rest of the way, and that puts them ahead of most of the rest of the AL. Also, they're all still good enough to screw up New York and/or Baltimore's season. 

AL Central

The White Sox are loathsome. Perhaps even historically bad. But besides the stench coming out of Chicago, this is a very competitive division--at least for now. Cleveland should win, but Kansas City and Minnesota are right there, and even Detroit could cause some problems.  Right around .500 might conceivably get a Wild Card slot. And we saw what can happen last year, if you can sneak into the playoffs. So, hope springs eternal for a bunch of fundamentally mediocre teams. Get hot at the right time and anything is possible.

AL West

The Athletics and Angels are bad teams--not White Sox bad--but plain ol' bad. This is what happens when you have garbage ownership (in both cases) and you lose your two best players to free agency and seemingly perpetual injury (in the Angels' case). It's hard for me to trust Seattle, based on them trading their closer last year while they were still in a pennant race. That's just odd. The Rangers don't look like defending champions--but there is a lot of time left for them to figure it out. And it's beginning to look like Houston's window has closed, at least for the time being. Again, it's possible for any team around .500 to have a shot at a Wild Card, which will make August and September very interesting.

NL East 

Right now, the Phillies have no apparent weaknesses. Injuries--and there are almost always injuries--could change that in a hurry. However, barring something truly catastrophic, they should win the East, with Atlanta right behind them and in line for a Wild Card. Washington and Miami are simply not good enough at this point. It's hard to believe that the Nationals were champions not that long ago. It's also hard to remember a championship team that was dismantled so rapidly. And the Marlins are, well, the Marlins...The Mets are a punchline. All that hedge fund money for this?! Might be time to sell off a few "assets" for prospects and magic beans.

NL Central

One kinda good team (Milwaukee) and four teams hovering around .500. Again, if one or more of the Cards, Cubs, Reds, and even the Pirates, gets hot at the right time...they could grab a Wild Card. I'm not sure what's happened to St. Louis--they used to be the class of this division year in and year out--but I bet it has something to do with Yadier Molina retiring. Chicago has some interesting pieces and Craig Counsell has won with much less. And both Cincy and Pittsburgh have exciting young players and two very nice ballparks. The ball parks will be around for many years, but the exciting young players will probably leave when their rookie deals are up. For now, enjoy! So, if the Brewers hit a rough spot, we could have a five team race right down to the finish line. Five fairly mediocre teams, but still it would be a lot of fun for their fans.

NL West

If the Dodgers don't win this division there ought to be a Congressional investigation. They are loaded. Every Ohtani at bat is a must see event. So it's strange that they aren't running away from three essentially average teams (and, of course, the Rockies who are a perennial punching bag). It's better to be 6 games ahead than 6 games behind, but with all that talent you would expect L.A. to have a double digit lead by now. The Padres, Giants, and Diamondbacks are in the same boat as every other .500 team--and boy, are there a lot of them. Get hot at the right time, sneak into the playoffs and hope that you can stay hot. Hey, it worked for the D-Backs last year...

Life On The Farm

You know, looking back, my favorite time on the family farm was when we rounded up all the "difficult" animals, put them in a ditch, and shot them. Good times!

Puppies, goats, whatever. Bang Bang Bang! I can still hear the screams, and it makes me feel...I don't know...wistfully nostalgic.

Because animals need to know that there are rules and these rules must be obeyed.

And there are consequences when they are not obeyed.

Sure, puppies can be boisterous. They can be hard to train. On our farm--on any real farm--there's just one way to deal with an uppity pup. Fuck 'em! Bang Bang Bang!

And don't even get me started about goats. I mean, why do we even have goats? You ever tried to train a goat?

Nope. In farm life you get one chance to do things correctly, and if you don't...BANG!

Incidentally, we used to do the same with our seasonal labor--when we were done with them, of course. It's much easier that way. No paperwork to fill out. No Big Government meddling. No complaints about working conditions or being underpaid. Just BANG!

You simply can't have chaos on the family farm. What if Kim Jong Un drops by? Or some other dictator you're trying to impress? No, you need to show strength. You need to show resolve. You need to show who's the boss. 

BANG!

I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it.

Master Of Delusion

When I look in the mirror, I wonder "what happened to that handsome young man? Oh yeah, he got old."

When Donald J. Trump looks in the mirror he apparently sees a combination of Cary Grant, George Clooney, and Superman.

He truly believes that he is a ridiculously attractive, vital, sexy man. Indeed, a Love God. A hugely successful business man, the envy of all. So intelligent that he knows more about, well, everything, in every field, than all of those so called experts.

This is a level of delusion that is truly breathtaking.

And all of his remaining supporters, the dead-enders if you will, must see the same thing.

Their level of delusion is also truly breathtaking. And by now it's painfully obvious that there is nothing that can be done about it. We will just have to be patient and let them all die out. And they will, either by avoiding vaccines, road rage, alcoholism, opioid abuse, playing too much with their bang-bangs, or just a backup of bile.

Back here in the real world, the relatively sane world, we see a morbidly obese grifter, in a badly fitting suit, with a clownishly long tie, and wearing more makeup than many drag queens, selling bibles, trading cards, anything he can think of, to the drooling simpletons that worship him. A lifetime con man criminal who has cheated everyone he ever did business with, blown through his father's fortune, gone bankrupt many times, and bows down before any strongman "Daddy" he comes close to. I guess the members of his cult need a "Daddy", too.

Hey, now here's an idea! 

Trump Mirrors! 

Look into them and see what you want to see!

Look into them and be what you want to be!

It's all a delusion anyway, so why not?

And here's the catch phrase:

Trump Mirrors: To Hell With Reality

A Field Guide To Spotting Traitors

This used to be a lot harder.

In some cases, it might take years to figure out who the traitors were. 

The Cambridge 5, for instance, got away with all sorts of treasonous shit for decades.

But now, just look for the people with an "R" next to their names.*

It's just that simple.

* the "R" stands for Russia.

TOP SECRET: NSA Phone Intercept. 1.7.24 Moscow Station

(VP Kremlin direct line rings. Recording begins)

VP: Da?

DJT: Boss it's me.

VP: Who is "me"?

DJT: Donald

VP: (silence)

DJT: Your boy. Donald.

VP: I don't, uh, I don't recall any Donalds. You must have wrong number.

( call disconnects)

(VP Kremlin direct line rings)

VP: Hello?

DJT: Boss, we had a deal.

VP: Deal? 

DJT: Yes. Yes deal--

VP: What is this deal you say we had? 

DJT: You know, uh, our deal.

VP: No idea what you're talking about.

DJT: Boss, that's not funny.

VP: You know what's not funny? I will tell you. I put a lot of money into you and all your little friends over there. And what do I have to show for it? I will tell you. I have Ukrainian drones blowing up a lot of my stuff. I have sanctions freezing my money and my friends' money. I have NATO expanding while my armies are contracting, one corpse at a time. All in all I have royal pain in my ass.That's what I have to show for "our" deal.

DJT: But-

VP: I tell you, at this point all I can do for you is send some of my Mama's special tea. Old Russian recipe. Sip to your health.

DJT: But-

VP: Das vedanya.

DJT: (unintelligible)

VP: Bye bye.

(call ends)

(recording ends)