Religious Notes From All Over

Here it is once again, that sacred season wherein billions of dollars are spent celebrating a fairy tale.
You know, the babe in the manger, the virgin birth, the wise men, all that bullshit. I mean, you're free to believe whatever you want, but I guess faith must mean you turn off the rational part of your brain, huh?

Then again, maybe your brain doesn't have a rational part...in that case, never mind!

But whatever the state of your brain, at least we're all "free" to say "Merry Christmas" again. Finally. The stress was killing me...And a White House and Congress full of traitors, criminals, rapists, grifters, imbeciles, racists, white supremacists, and congenital liars, all conspiring to tear apart a once great country, is a very small price to pay for that privilege. So, Happy Holidays to all!

Down in that Alabama, which they tell me is still part of the Union, believe it or not, that good Christian Roy "Sugar, Come Sit On Uncle Roy's Lap" Moore wears a pin that is some sort of combination of a cross and an American flag. That in itself is a travesty, but the truly surprising thing is that it doesn't burst into flames every time Roy The Pedophile puts it on. But I guess things are different down there. And the one thing that fundamentalists of all religions are is fundamentally insane. So let's all "pray" that the "rapture" takes these assholes elsewhere, and soon.

Now let's turn to our Jewish friends. Any idiot who believes that recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel is a good idea, and that it will in any way help the peace process, should immediately move there. I'll help you pack, Jared. Better hurry, though, because I hear that you are one small step ahead of the law.

Honestly, and this goes for all of you, if you love Israel sooooo much, move to fucking Israel. It's just that simple.

And speaking of Jewish Americans who love Israel more than the United States, Shelly Adelson, please shave your head. You look like somebody's addled Bubbe with a tragic dye job, and you're making us all sick.

1% Maverick 99% Bullshit

When it comes right down to it, Senator John McCain knows which side his bread is buttered on.

Mrs. McCain is very wealthy. Mrs. McCain and the McCain family will benefit greatly from the disastrous Republican tax plan.

So, OF COURSE the distinguished gentleman from Arizona is going to vote for that abomination that has absolutely nothing to do with "helping" the middle class.

Listen carefully. The tax cuts will benefit the very rich. That is what they are designed to do. They will damage the Affordable Care Act, they will drain money from Medicare and Medicaid, they will hurt the vast majority of Americans, and they will continue weakening the social safety net, something that gives all good Republicans a nice warm feeling in their shriveled private parts.

In addition, the loss of revenue, and increased deficits will immediately lead to loud cries about "doing something about Social Security". And by "something", the good folks of the GOP mean destroying it.

Of course, none of this means anything to Senator John McCain. He got to play the hero last summer with his thumbs down vote on the last assault on the ACA. People who didn't know better applauded McCain as if he'd done something truly noble. He didn't do it because he gives a rat's ass about saving health care for poor and working class people. He did it because he doesn't like Donald Trump.

But this is different. Even though passing this massive giveaway to the richest Americans may help Trump politically in the short run, that's small potatoes compared to the windfall the McCain family will receive.

Again, and it cannot be repeated often enough, Senator John McCain has never done a goddamn thing for the people of Arizona. The main achievement of his long political career has been the care and feeding of the Legend of John "The Maverick" McCain. That's it. That's all.

Oh, one other salient point about "the Maverick": He's been on the government tit his entire life.

It's Money That They Love

Dear Republican voters,

It should be evident to all but the dullest of you that your elected officials, the men and women with that R next to their names, the ones you've sent back to Washington over and over again, despite their utter lack of achievements, love one thing and one thing only:

Money.

Oh, sure, at every election they are masters at playing to whatever pet prejudices you, their easily fleeced flock, are currently in an uproar about.

Could be abortion. Could be welfare. Could be immigration. Could be guns. Could be health care. Could be "them" and what "they are doing to ruin this great country of ours." (The "them" being people of color, or the gays, or feminists, or those wicked, wicked liberals.)

Could be all of the above. They know you are haters and they willingly cater to your hatred.

But unless you are a complete dolt, (and I recognize that complete dolts make up a sizeable percentage of the Republican Party), you have to by now have recognized that what truly motivates all but the worst of the worst (i. e. the Gohmerts and Kings and Franks of the Grand Old Party), is money, and its non-stop pursuit.

Take the latest rip-off, aka the Republican tax plan. Unless you are a millionaire, better yet a billionaire, this "plan" will not help you at all. It will in fact hurt you. Deeply. Now, you might think that the fine Christians you helped elect would not want to hurt their constituency. Hahaha! Once again the joke is on you.

See, the vast majority of you do not give millions of dollars to the Republican party. So, honestly, what do you expect all the God fearing Republicans in Washington to do for you? You have no quid in the quid pro quo game. But billionaires do. Folks like the Koch brothers, the Mercers, the Ricketts, and Sheldon Adelson. They bought them a bunch of congressmen and women and a so-called President, and they expect to get something in return.

Like massive tax cuts and an end to the estate tax. And if they don't, they won't send millions of dollars to the Republican Party anymore. And the Republican Party will cease to exist. Pretty simple.

Now, somebody has to pay for all those pretty pretty toys the Defense Department really really needs, and if it isn't the wealthy, and it won't be, guess who it will be. Same for whatever few threads are left of the safety net.You might think that the safety net is only for "them", but you will find out very quickly that you need it, too.

Gee, I wonder whose taxes are going to go up if the richest amongst us have their taxes go down?

Uh, that would be you.

Again, hahaha.

Thanksgiving With The Trumps

"Should we say a prayer?"

"Do you think it'll help?"

"At this point it couldn't hurt."

"OK. Jesus Christ, why me Lord, why me?!"

"That'll probably do."

"Remember, if Mueller calls, I'm not here."

"Pass the mashed potatoes."

"Fuck you."

"Manners, manners, manners. After all, we're the First Family, and we should set an example."

"Please pass the mashed potatoes."

"Why don't you take those potatoes and shove them up your ass?"

"Where's Tiffany?"

"Who?"

"Remember, if Putin calls, I'm not here."

"Do any of us even like turkey?"

"Have you seen Melania?"

"She grabbed a bottle of slivovitz and went to her room."

"A full bottle?"

"Yeah."

"Did she say anything?"

"Yes. She said 'fuck you, fuck all of you.'"

"Remember, if LaVar Ball calls, I'm not here."

"Is there any more slivovitz?"

In Defense Of Roy Moore

See, you Yankees jes don't unnerstan how we do things down heah in Dixie.

See, in 'Bama, the age of consent is in utero. Now, that's the law, son. And you don't want to mess with the law.

Once a female is clean through the birth canal, she's fair game. Sister, cousin, whatever, don't matter. She's fair game.

Truth be told, Judge Moore showed admirable what you call restraint, by waiting 14 long and no doubt anxious years before approaching her. Man's a tower of moral courage and rectitude.

And ya'll know how them wimmen are. Constantly tempting good Christian menfolk into sin.

And the temptation must have been somethin'. Hot damn! Yet the Judge withstood it for more than a decade. Because he's a true Southern gentleman.

Now, I wouldn't expect a bunch of mealy mouthed liberals, New York Jews, coloreds, and emasculating feminist lesbian transgendered homosexuals, to understand Southern chivalry.

But that's all what this is, a sterling example of Southern chivalry. And Southern chivalry is the foundation of Southern culture. Well, that and slavery. And you must respect our culture!

Read yo' damn Bibles! It's all there in black and white.

Joseph and Mary. Jesus and that other Mary. Jezebel. Uh, Sodom and Gomorrah. Jonah and the whale. Victor Mature and Hedy Lamarr. Lot's wife. And all the rest of them.

An Idiot Abroad

Let's see how incoherent bombast plays in the Far East, huh?

It might help if you knew something about the region, or at least were willing to learn something--anything--about it, but, well...since you're already the self professed smartest guy in the room, with that great brain and the world's best memory, why bother? Facts are for suckers, after all.

No, better to bluster, threaten, and tweet your way around the Pacific Rim.

At least your rancid soul mate in the Philippines will welcome you with open arms.

Oh, and while you're ruining America's reputation, as our last few drops of global credibility go down the drain, make sure you get in a plug for one of your golf courses. Stay classy, DonDon!

It's true, Der Trump, the world is laughing at us...now.

Well, actually the world is laughing at you.

Uh, Guess What? Trickle Down Economics Still Doesn't Work

You have to give it to the Republicans. Like particularly avid terriers, once they get their teeth into something, they never let go.

Take tax cuts for the very, very wealthy. Despite all evidence to the contrary--decades and decades of it, in fact--once again the GOP (Grand Oligarch's Party) presents us with the miraculous wonder of trickle down economics.

If we just let the richest amongst us pay less in taxes--a lot less--everything will be alright. They will create all of these new, well paying jobs, and all the proletariat will prosper and rejoice! Hooray!

In fact, everything will be perfect!

They try this nonsense every chance they get.

It started with that bullshitter nonpareil Ronnie Reagan. When Saint Reagan first proposed it, George H.W. Bush had the good sense to point out that this was "voodoo economics".

But "Poppy" lost the nomination, and given the chance to be honest or be Reagan's veep, well, he quickly fell in line.

So we tried it--and it didn't work.

Well, actually it did work, for the rich. They, big surprise, got even richer. Hooray! The rest of us, the pluribus if you will in e pluribus unum, didn't get diddly.

I will take a wild guess here and say that hey, maybe that was the plan all along...

You would think that an engaged, enlightened electorate, would laugh anybody who tried that scam again right out of the building.

But this is America, and, well, we ain't so good at learning or remembering stuff.