Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Petition to Secede

Whereas I have lived in Arizona for more than 50 years (long sigh); and whereas during that time I have been "represented" by the likes of Jan Brewer, Jon Kyl, John McCain, Ben Quayle, John Shadegg, Ev Mecham, Fife Symington, Jane Hull, Barry Goldwater, and some twits in the state legislature whose names I never bothered to learn; and whereas for much of that time I have been "protected" by an arrogant joke of a sheriff named Joe Arpaio and such stellar attorneys (general and county) as Tom Horne and Andrew Thomas; and whereas they have all been essentially worthless (yeah, Barry too); and whereas the good people of Arizona seem determined to keep choosing a stunning collection of grifters, fools, and circus clowns for the majority of their elected officials; and whereas some of said elected officials do a sad, shady, and woefully inadequate job of counting those votes they disagree with; therefore, I hereby petition the Federal government for some form of relief from this cruel and unusual punishment.

Frankly, I think we'd be better off if a whole bunch of Red states did secede. Let the hillbillies fend for themselves for awhile and let's see how they do.

But since that's not going to happen, at the very least some of us should be allowed to secede from whatever Red state we find ourselves in.

By secession I mean not having to pay any state taxes anymore. Oh, I'll still live here. We have a nice house and Mrs. Franklin has business interests. Most of our friends are here, too.

But I don't want to financially support the asinine behavior anymore. Enough is enough.

So, just tell me what kind of forms I need to fill out, OK?

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