Tuesday, November 27, 2012

So Long, and Thanks for Everything!

I miss Mitt!

There, I said it.

To be honest, what I really miss are the recordings of Mitt. The Mitt Tapes, which for awhile kept bubbling up to the surface every few days, were truly a blessing...and just in time for the Holidays, too.

It was like unearthing more of Dylan's basement tapes...or pristine recordings of the Beatles live in Hamburg. Pure gold!

I kept waiting for the one where he blamed "the Jews in Hollywood." I know it must still be there somewhere...

The recordings were a treasure trove of pure, unadulterated, Mitt-Thought.  The Ur-Mitt unleashed, 100 proof, if you will.  He joyfully shat all over minorities, women, the poor, the middle-class--indeed everybody but his rich-fuck friends.

But guess what Mitt? They weren't really your friends. They were just your fellow rich-fucks who thought you would make them even richer. Oh well, we all make mistakes. Just don't expect a Christmas card from Sheldon Adelson or the Koch brothers.

Based on all of the available evidence, can we at least finally agree that Willard Mitt Romney is a "(word that starts with C and ends with unt)"?

Oh, sure, he's still rich. But just between you and me, I've known richer men. In fact, the wealthiest guy I ever knew could buy and sell Mitt a couple of times over. And he started out with nothing.

That's right. Nothing. No rich father. No stock to sell to get through college. My guy didn't go to college. And, brace yourself, he was a lifelong registered Democrat. Always paid his taxes, too. Shocking, I know. But true.

It's long past time for Willard Mitt Romney to stop talking, scuttle off to one of his houses, find somebody to ghost write his guaranteed to be whiny and insipid auto-biography, and live out the remainder of his life in a well deserved, but comfy, anonymity.

So long, and thanks for everything!

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